Partying/going to bars is a bad way to meet women

RedPope · 2014-07-21T06:24:41+00:00

girls are looking for something that makes them happy in a really immediate way that they don't really have to think about, like a good looking guy, or someone who's well connected and does all kinds of cool shit.

So be that guy. Be happy, good looking, cool, and connected. Just don't give her what she wants.

What does she want? She wants free validation, free entertainment, free status by association. The key word is free. She wants your time, your energy, and your presence, all without giving anything in return.

But only fools work for free. Give her a taste. Show her you're cool, show her you're fun, and above all show her you're interested. Give her 5-10 minutes then move on. The minute there's a pause, say "I'm going to go mingle. You seem like you might be cool. I'll check back on you later."

Go to the next girl and repeat. And then a third.

If you can open two girls like that and build some attraction, you are top 20% and they'll know it. Do three in a row and you're the hottest guy there and the whole bar knows it. Hang with your bros for a bit and let them simmer.

Now circle back, and see which of the three is willing to start paying for your attention. Will she give you a kiss? Reward her with more fun. Will she let you isolate? Reward. Make out? Reward. Bounce? Close.

I think if a lot of us were honest with ourselves, we could really give a shit what a bunch of drunks think of us.

I'm trying to get laid, not win respect. I'm not trying to find a LTR or a soulmate or a unicorn. If that is your goal, stick to day game. Bars and parties are for getting your dick wet. If the sex is good, if she's submissive and eager, get her number and make her a plate. If she's cool and fun, but the sex is dull, make her a FWB. If she's boring and lame in the sack, forget her name.

Sunshinelorrypop · 2014-07-21T09:04:32+00:00

I think if a lot of us were honest with ourselves, we could really give a shit what a bunch of drunks think of us.

Thoughts?

A bar is the perfect place to meet women. Simply being out is a sign that they are available (unless it's a hen night or something like that).

You've just got to be that guy to offer her what other people can't. Sanity.

soulracer · 2014-07-21T16:46:44+00:00

this is like the fifth "you are just meeting women in the wrong place" troll we've had today. This trope is tired, and not helpful to anyone.

soulracer · 2014-07-21T18:37:05+00:00

How about this to change your view point. It really sounds like you're just bitter about bars.

Women in bars are colorful tropical fish who like to swim around the sea with other fish, just to swim around as fish do. Fish don't go out looking for bait on a hook. Men in bars are like a group of men hanging out together fishing and drinking. It's about the enjoyment of fishing and hanging out, not necessarily catching dinner. The ones that dangle their bait without it being obvious it's bait, catch the fish. And that does actually mean you're not desperate to catch something, but you're always hanging your bait out.

When I go out, I certainly talk to girls and sometimes take them home. I've met one night stands, but also girls I've seen longer than a few months, as well as the bitches who are just out for attention. It's fun to hang out in bars and talk to people. This doesn't mean I'm trying to fit into a niche and appeal to drunk women. What does that mean anyway? Is that a different species?

I think you're just trying to justifying your dislike/failure with women in bars, by narrowly projecting your personal bitterness. Not saying this to be mean, but to help you realize, where I believe your thoughts are coming from.

roparker2014 · 2014-07-21T09:38:53+00:00

You just contradicted yourself. You said women just go out to have a good time - such as by meeting "a good looking guy or someone well connected".

Then you said men don't just go out to have a good time - they usually go out to meet a woman.

So why is going out as a woman to meet guys "just having a good time" whereas going out as a man to meet women is "having an ulterior motive"?

[deleted] · 2014-07-21T06:44:00+00:00

Bad way to look for LTRs, perfect for a hit it and quit it situation.

mormon-virgin · 2014-07-21T11:35:08+00:00

Its all subjective because the bar and party scene itself is subjective depending on location, clientele, etc. I personally have met a few amazing women at night clubs and even at house parties. At bars, not so much. Some venues are also restaurants that turn into bars/clubs which may bring in higher quality people.

[deleted] · 2014-07-21T14:40:32+00:00

Bars are one of the best places to pick up one nighters.

PaulRivers10 · 2014-07-21T19:00:27+00:00

I think that trying to meet a guy at a bar who she doesn't already know for a woman is a lot of work. Of course if she'll just sleep with anything it's not, but her role is the gatekeep and it's a ton of work to try to figure a guy out at a bar. If she's usually more of a relationship girl, being part of a social circle is the easiest for her - the social queues and arrangements her emotions pick up on are far more reliable in a social circle where people have to be more respectful, where people have reputations, and where people's opinions of other people are more difficult to fake.

The lack of social consquence for negative actions means that women at bars can often be bitches, and men can be super aggressive. Women who aren't as much into "push and push until I give in" tend to be fairly defensive.

The other side of the coin, however, is that often women feel a certain amount of discomfort and wondering "should I do this" whenever they're crossing the line for the first time from plausibly-just-friendly to actually sexual.

I've personally found that it's easier to get something going in an enjoyable way with someone I already know (though usually haven't known to long) from a non-bar social circle, then get them to come out. Or if I meet people in a bar, I'll go the opposite way - invite them to do something non-bar-related. Another component is that they have to have something interesting to say. Counter-intuitively people invest more if they're doing something for you, so if they aren't trying to entertain me back I move on.

Maybe it's because I'm fairly good looking, but the "push push push" approach is just god awful for me - it "works" but I end up so turned off I don't even want things to go anywhere any more. If I'm clear in my intentions, and try to mix the bar (an unnassociated social environment) with more comfort (a group activity with friends) things just work out way better for me.

kami_kakushi · 2014-07-21T10:46:19+00:00

Partying/going to bars is a bad way to meet women

partying/going to bars is a bad way to achieve anything worthwhile in life

unless your goal in life is to be a bar manager/own your own bar and get rich from it, so you need to learn the culture to an extent

Title	Partying/going to bars is a bad way to meet women
Author	The_BitterTruth
Upvotes	13
Comments	27
Date	July 21, 2014 5:45 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2b9tsm/partyinggoing_to_bars_is_a_bad_way_to_meet_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/partyinggoing-to-bars-is-a-bad-way-to-meet-women.18208 https://theredarchive.com/post/18208