I've been married 3 years now. It's been a great marriage overall to a great woman and I don't think I would have needed too much advice to keep it above average from start to finish, but reading these stories has given me an amazing insight to the way I can handle things with my wife. My one goal after lurking this sub was to eliminate her self entitlement that comes standard on most women. Many women simply follow social patterns without even considering if they are correct or not. Here is my favorite recent example.
As the sole provider for our family over the last 5 years it absolutely boils my blood anytime I hear the words "my money" come out of her mouth. I have told her before, that if she wants to have her money than I'll have MY money and it wont work out too well in her favor. 6 months ago she got a cool local part time job that probably brings in around 500 dollars a month working 2-3 days a week. So for a while all of the wasteful bullshit that I had to put my foot down on her spending money on didn't matter. She would say fine then ill just use my money. Something I improved from reading TRP was maintaining frame and amused mastery. Everyone knows they are important but this sub showed me just how important.
So weeks after my stern warning for her to never utter those words again I got the shit test that i was all too well prepared for. We went out to dinner one evening and only a few hours later she became hungry again and wanted to order pizza right when I was in the middle of cooking some venison. She eats it often but this time she wasn't in the mood and wanted pizza. I told her we already spent 60 dollars on dinner tonight and she wasnt spending anymore money. She flipped a switch and said she got paid the day before for her job and can spend whatever she wants. I actually just let her do it that time knowing what was to come.
I emptied our bank account (which i was the sole contributor to, shes had her own since before we were married with barely any money in it) I added a new account just named "bills" and switched my direct deposit to put 500 dollars into bills and the rest into a separate account in a completely different bank. 17 days later all the bills came and she was shocked when i asked for her half and told her i did not have enough. when she looked at our online banking it was completely priceless. I had to show her what it was like to have HER own money and at least some of the important of not throwing it away all the time. Very long story short we were 140 dollars short so i cancelled the internet and cable for a month. (I loved this part because i dont watch it anyways) After a few very pissy days from her I got the most sincere apology I have ever received. She almost word for word acknowledged how important of a lesson she learned and actually thanked me for showing her instead of yelling at her. The very very best part is she accepted the fact that i'm never changing it back. Thx TRP
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