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[–]Endorsed ContributorAFPJ 134 points135 points136 points 7 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link
She says she finds me attractive but she doesn't show her desire like she used to.
She doesn't "show" desire because she no longer has any desire for you - the "why", "how", past, future or "what ifs" don't matter. The only thing that matters is what is happening right now: her not wanting / having sex with you.
and so would you just suggest following normal Red Pill rules?
Reply with "We should take a break": It'll be properly translated as "Cool, decide if you want to start fucking or have me find someone who will". Play it by ear with your mind set on the exit. Hard next forever if she still "wants to talk"
[–][deleted] 46 points47 points48 points 7 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
Yeah definitely sounds like some dread is necessary. This an epic shit test. The only way she'll find him desirable again is if she knows he won't put up with her shit and maintain his own personal priority.
If he grovels, she'll be back on the carousel (if she isn't already) so fast his head will be spinning.
I would even go as far as to say she might have already and is planning her guilt-free dishonest escape.
[–]Endorsed ContributorAFPJ 35 points36 points37 points 7 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
I feel like too many guys reading this might think of dread as a mechanism to retain your current partner, which is a bad mindset to be in. It's you, on your way out, giving them a courtesy chance to change your mind. Shit tests are one thing, it's like hey do you have a backbone, but this is on a whole different level - she has zero respect for him.
Too many guys come here and post a dead relationship that either should've been over way before it got to the point where they're posting or there was never anything to begin with & follow up with "wat 2 do bout diz shit test guize".
[–][deleted] 12 points13 points14 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It can be, but yeah you don't deploy dread unless you are absolutely ready to move on.
Empty threats only make things worse.
A Iover telling you that you are sexually incompatible is a pretty blatant signal the relationship is doomed.
What other recourse do you have at that point but to preserve your dignity and say "well sorry you feel that way, come get your things."?
Not a whole lot else you can do, really.
[–][deleted] 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
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[–]yumyumgivemesome 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Most guys in an LTR are in that LTR because they're genuinely afraid they can't get another decent girl to fuck them ever again. That attitude tends to make it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
[–]50pluspiller 56 points57 points58 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Time to sail on captain.
Hit the gym harder, read the sidebar and internalize it. Keep improving your life.
[–]jb_trp 10 points11 points12 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly. You can't negotiate attraction. All you can do is focus on yourself first and be the kind of man you want to be--and in being that man, you will be more attractive to women. Hitting the gym harder is a start. The article is a bit of a red flag, but (depending on the girl) might not be time to nuke the relationship.
If he's really focusing on himself and being the man he wants to be, that should help. He could try subtly dropping some soft dread game. Getting in better shape. Staying out at night. Buying new underwear. Subtly mentioning a new girl at work.
[–][deleted] 46 points47 points48 points 7 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Her sending you that link is a big red flag.
I'm just going to be honest here - any time sex has declined when I'm in a good relationship (and even bad ones) and I was the one not initiating, the women demanded to know why the sex had declined, as women innately know that if you aren't fucking them, there is high risk you are fucking someone else.
I'm not saying this is necessarily the case with your broad, but in my experience women do not tolerate a decline in sex (until they're readying a branch swing).
[–]helpmebemoreofadikk 6 points7 points8 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
The OP has been initiating sex, his gf is the one denying it. I agree mostly everything else though. If a girl loses attraction to you over whatever, she's gonna stop having sex. Doesn't mean she definitely has a branch to swing to right then...but it's coming.
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
And that's my point.
If this is occurring, it means there is tumultuous waves in paradise. Women who are into their men would never do this.
[–]Sepean 5 points6 points7 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You're alpha, OP is not. That makes it way different.
[–]Gawernator 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Super accurate. If sex goes down at all and it's due to the man wanting less, women go nuts.
[–]SexistFlyingPig 34 points35 points36 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You want less sex?
I want less relationship.
[–]sirZofSwagger 3 points4 points5 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Agreed, this was my first thought. Play the cards you have available. If she wants to act like a gate keeper, remind her she's not the only one holding down a gate.
[–]The-Ban-Hammer 26 points27 points28 points 7 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Your relationship is over unless you want to be the guy who jumps through hoops just for lackluster sex once or twice a month, all while she is considering or already sucking the cock of the guy she really wants.
[–]ThisTension 13 points14 points15 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If she's not looking for a different dick then this post is the other truth.
Sounds like she used sex early on to lure you in. Now she is trying to show you who she really is.
I agree with the article that sex doesn't have to be perfectly aligned but it can't be such a huge gap in desire where one person wants sex 15 times a month and the other wants it 2 or 3.
Either way this isn't going to end well.
Move on instead of delaying the inevitable.. Sex will be the downfall of this relationship.
[–]Sepean 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Or he could just alpha up. The same thing will happen with the next girl if he stays beta anyway, so leaving isn't even really a fix.
[–]The-Ban-Hammer 10 points11 points12 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Alpha-up. Sounds simple, like grabbing a mushroom in a new Mario game. Suffice it to say, she views this guy as her bitch now. Probably no coming back from it.
[–]brooklynisburnin 15 points16 points17 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
sexual incompatibility...
That rationalization though, she wants...most likely already has, another dick in line. Dump.
You want sex, she doesn't, we all know how that ends, save yourself some time and frustration and get it done.
[–]stephcurryftw 13 points14 points15 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
She doesn't want to bang you, she wants to bang someone else. If you don't want to pull the trigger, be mentally prepared for her to some time in the future.
[–]fakeplastictrees87 5 points6 points7 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I agree, same experienced, didn't believe, but she said the same. "sex is not the most important for me at the moment", redpill told me she banging someone else, and it was true no matter i didn't believe when i was blue.
[–]Borsao66 10 points11 points12 points 7 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
Acta non verba.
Pay attention to her actions, not what she says/sends. For some reason her attraction to you is waning. Time to up your personal game and improve yourself further and implement dread.
[–]That_Deaf_Guy 6 points7 points8 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
It's "Acta non verba".
[–]Borsao66 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yeah... not enough coffee in the brain bucket yet.
[–]That_Deaf_Guy 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Not a problem.
[–]BlueBlus 11 points12 points13 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She wants less sex
from you.
[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev 11 points12 points13 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Time for a visit from our old friends, Natty Dread, the Dread Pirate Roberts and The Grateful Dread.
Oh, and DO NOT ever LTR up, or wife up, bad sex/no sex.
And put her on notice that you are perfectly fine getting sex elsewhere if she's not down.
[–]Apexk9 6 points7 points8 points 7 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
" it's been a great x time but we obviously aren't compatible sexually so best of luck peace"
[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
http://i.imgur.com/dzyrUl2.gif
[–]Hunter2isit 5 points6 points7 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Though not the same problem my LTR in the beginning said that she thinks we have sex too much. She was probably getting at recovery time but I don't care. I told her the truth: I am happiest when I am having sex at least 3 days a week. If that was too much for her then that is fine, I can just bring in a substitute girl to fill in when she couldn't.
I was serious. She knew I was serious. She also knows I can back that up with the IOI's I get whenever we are out. She has seen me spit game to get us into an event that was sold out, for free.
She knows sex with me is not a commodity and I don't tolerate trading for it. (see sidebar)
[–]helpmebemoreofadikk 3 points4 points5 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Since most people already touched on moving on: Maybe you are getting stale in bed. Maybe you slacked off in the gym the past few months. Maybe you've been acting too beta, and not keeping the power/keeping her interested outside of the bedroom.
Just throwing things out. I'm sure there's things you could start doing to get her attraction back, but she'll know you're only doing them for that reason and that can end up making you look worse. You can try that if you think it's worth it, but it might shift the power into her hands.
[–]deci-mator 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Before she was using sex to qualify herself to you and secure you. Now that you need her more than she needs you. Sex has become more of a reward. You only get it when she feels you deserve it. Before she had to use sex to compete with potential threats. You need to have an abundance mentality and be willing to leave her ass at moment;s notice. Start improving yourself, i.e. dressing better and hitting the gym. Automatically the hamster will start running and she will find herself qualifying herself to you (that's as long as you hold frame and employ amused mastery on her shittests.)
[–]SetConsumes 6 points7 points8 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The LTR isn't over, but you need to focus on yourself and less on her till she changes her behavior or leaves.
[–][deleted] 7 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt 4 points5 points6 points 7 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Yup. People forget how much of this has to do with brain chemistry. For the honeymoon phase to end this quickly though, it really begs the question what her n-count is? I'm guessing... a lot.
[–][deleted] 7 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Sepean -5 points-4 points-3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is pure bullshit. He's just not alpha enough.
[–]synaesthetic 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Ask if it would bother her if you go fuck other people, maybe she'll be into the poly thing.
[–]blackhorse6 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hard next her, tell her thanks but no thanks and move on.
[–]i_forget_my_userids 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Did anyone even read the full article? She's telling you everything that's wrong.
From the opening question to the author:
sometimes I turn him down because he can be so demanding and whiny when he initiates, and it turns me off.
Quit throwing a tantrum when you don't get sex. Don't just say "I want sex; give it to me".
From the author's bullet points:
Make her want it, build anticipation/excitement
Don't expect her to be immediately interested on your whims
Have more interesting sex, more foreplay, etc
Dont have sex with her just to get your nut
Maybe she just doesn't wanna bang as much as you do
The reality is that she's not hot for you. You've got to build attraction. How? Be the guy she wants to bang. Improve yourself and quit acting like you're entitled to sex with her. If you continue to stagnate or deteriorate, it will be over before you know it.
"Red Pill Rules"
LOL
ok here is what you do....
grab your testicles, decide if this one is worth cutting them off...
what do?
well you can always communicate...
leaving and having another girl on your cock is a way of communication.
Or if you want to be with this girl longer, figure out how you have been a faggot and stop those things.
[–]sharp7 1 point2 points3 points 7 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
The other posts are right and dread likely needed.
But there is a small chance you suck at sex though and the physical act is what is getting boring.
[–]anotherswingingdick 2 points3 points4 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
you suck at sex though and the physical act is what is getting boring
if she valued his overall presence in her life, she'd put up with being bored.
[–]Verlier 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Go and have sex with someone else.
[–]red13blue4 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If she doesn't have enough to give, tell her to invite a friend to share the load.
[–]-The-Pussy-Whisperer 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Dread her
[–]cashmoney_x 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The real answer is that humans are not monogamous and after a few months the females' desire (in most cases) plummets.
[–]HeadingRed 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My take-
She doesn't like sex that much and early on did it mostly to make you happy. If you want a woman who wants sex more you need to move on.
She is no longer interested in you like she was because she is attracted to another guy. Time to move on.
She is no longer interested in you because you have become boring. You can try to fix this (not through words but action). Or you could move on.
[–]omegalot 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Judging OP's post history, it looks like he already knows the answer to his own question and is just refusing to accept it. Instead, he's asking pointless and repetitive questions in order to hamster his way out of a bad situation that's going to turn worse.
[–]White_Phillip 0 points1 point2 points 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
(The following is more or less subconsciously decided, these aren't actual thoughts going through her head but kinda like behavioral guidelines.)
She thinks the relationship is solely based on sexuality. She knows she will one day lose her attractiveness rapidly and is shit testing to see if you will stick around if she takes it away. If you want to keep her as an LTR you need to show her (not tell her) that on the one hand you like her for more than her pussy, but on the other hand you wouldn't be in a relationship if she didn't have one.
[–]ecosci -1 points0 points1 point 7 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
The redpill is tough i know its hard to hear wish we had it 25yrs ago but i do know when you hear this from women she is fucking another guy and is hoping you break up with her she doesnt have the balls to tell you, sorry to inform you but (incompatable) means its a size issue down stairs but she has a guy to compare to you who may be thicker or longer and ravishes her in bed this is no coming back let it go stay strong most guys have been down this road dude hard next.uh, 2 beers please.
[–]hownao -1 points0 points1 point 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
most legit comment right here
[–]AdviceToSaveYourLife -1 points0 points1 point 7 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She sent it to you as your "last chance" she likes other things about you but you're bad at sex
I would move on here so she can get the dick she wants and you can continue to practice fucking, your dick game needs work
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[–]Endorsed ContributorAFPJ 134 points135 points136 points (5 children) | Copy Link
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