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Was given advice by an older guy, wanted to see what trp thought of it

Reddit View
October 14, 2018
205 upvotes

Made friends with a guy in his early 40, works out, good looking etc. Doesnt really chase tail (has a Gf) but he gave me some good advice.

  1. Women are attracted to three things: power, confidence and humor. Nowhere did he say looks or money. Power - your position in society, your job etc. Confidence - most guys are not confident (you’d be surprised how many 9’s don’t get approached by guys because they are too nervous.) If you can be confident or even fake it, you’re ahead of the game. Humor - self explanatory.

  2. You have nothing to lose - asking women out, approaching women, escalating etc. you have more to gain than to lose. Women are probably more self conscious than men.

  3. You are the prize - he said this not in these trp terms but basically he said he believes a woman should like him and “why wouldn’t she? I’m nice, confident etc.”

  4. Don’t be an easy lay - basically he said he never wanted to be known in circles as the guy who the women talk about as an easy lay

  5. Dont have any expectations. Go out with a woman and have fun, if you don’t have sex at the end of the night don’t worry. There’s a million reasons why I woman might cancel or might not sleep with you. She feels fat, she’s on her period, she’s having a bad day etc. They are much more self conscious than we are.

  6. Women drop little crumbs showing interest, but it’s up to the man to pick up the crumbs and make the move.

  7. If a woman is into you, and you don’t strike while the iron is hot or you are oblivious to her interest, if she’s truly into you she will still be interested when you figure out she was into you. This one I wasn’t sure about tbh.

Thats about it. Nothing earth shattering but nice to hear it from someone older than me who has his shit together. Granted he’s very good looking (and black which many women are very attracted to), but still good info.

Edit: last one I forgot - he basically said always assume attraction. Women don’t hang out with guys one on one to be friends with them, so if she agrees to hang out with you, even over coffee, she’s interested in you. I’m not sure I agree with this one 100% because many women are too oblivious to see men interpret this as a signal and many women think single men and single women can be just friends. Thoughts?


Post Information
Title Was given advice by an older guy, wanted to see what trp thought of it
Author JW_2
Upvotes 205
Comments 58
Date 14 October 2018 03:27 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/1873
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/9o3jom/was_given_advice_by_an_older_guy_wanted_to_see/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
gamethe red pill
Comments

[–]DebonairD148 points149 points  (5 children) | Copy

Sounds like he’s full of good game. Remain friends with him

[–]JW_2[S] 31 points32 points  (3 children) | Copy

Definitely. He is a genuinely nice person as well.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

How did u meet him?

[–]JW_2[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

He’s a contractor in our building. I manage the building so we talk a lot about the work that needs to be done. We kept talking and turned out we knew some of the same people and went from there.

[–]Rosace_891 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

plz OP, how did you meet him?

[–]ThisIs_RomanticPaul_0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good advice man. I am looking for a old mentor/friend similarly to him but it has been a challenge from where I am residing in

[–]goblinboglin67 points68 points  (4 children) | Copy

The last one in edit - I think that's not entirely true. Women are known for having beta orbiters.

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy

The advice is essentially:

“Always escalate. Assume attraction.”

[–]JW_2[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Agree

[–]TimPartendale0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

? from the way it's written it looks like it's saying:

If you're too stupid to notice a chick likes you, she'll still like you once you become less oblivious. This situation is if a chick is sending you IOIs but you don't pick up on it until 3 months later after your buddy brings up how she has been looking at you and laughing a lot more at your jokes... she continues to hang around you or is likely part of some close friend group.

Outcome: when you ask her out, she says "yes." Almost like a "finally he did it," moment.

Being a beta-orbiter, you may still get those crumb IOIs. But this situation lacks the part where the girl is sexually interested.

Outcome: if you ask her out - she says "no," she ghosts you, she downplays it being a date, or she says "let's be friends." She never actually "liked" you, but she did like your attention.

[–]jackandjill22-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Probably back in this time women were less attention whoring than they are in the millennial demographic.

[–]mrHappyPotatoe17 points18 points  (2 children) | Copy

He is not wrong. I believe everyone who interacts with women long and often enough develops red pill sense. Eventually.

But wverything in life is situational. It depends. The context is important.

And the thing about looks and money. Well you can translate these two as power or confidence.

[–]SomeGUy53024 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

When your confident, you look attractive. As long as your not ugly.

edit: your confidence makes you look self-assured which makes people treat you with respect.

[–]mrHappyPotatoe1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

We are all unique and special like everybody else.

You have outstanding logic sir.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

Old guy here:

  1. True. Women will enter into an implicit, transactional sex-for-cash relationship with a beta bux, but he will pay through the nose.

  2. Also true. Faint heart never fucked fair lady. Guys who wait around because they're too scared to make a move wind up in the FriendZone.

  3. True. We say that hear all the time. Why? Because Women want LEADERS, not LOSERS. They want their man to be better than they are.

  4. Not so much. Women want what other women want. If one woman finds you "sponge-worthy" (for you Seinfeld fans) that only increases your value. One of the best lays I ever had came about because the girl knew that I had fucked this other girl who was a stone fox. What you shouldn't do is get a reputation as a talker. Let them hear about your conquests from other girls. Protect their trust.

  5. True. Do not over-invest. That leads to the FriendZone yet again. I allow one flake/change of plans and I don't make a big deal about it. Have Abundance Mentality

  6. True. We are the hunters.

  7. Not so much. There's a window of opportunity. Remember the Hamster cannot handle rejection.

  8. Always assume attraction. Yes. Never find a reason for a girl not to fuck you; that's her job.

[–]mrpoopistan13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy

Let's address #7, which seems to be the big bone of contention here. The sub seems to dislike this one, but I'll take a bit of a slightly contrarian position. In my experience, a woman who's really in the bag for a guy will go through any bullshit to make it happen.

Where I think the OP's single-serving friend is missing a detail, though, is that the woman has to feel like she knows you before she'll actually behave like that.

Of the women I can remember sticking around for years without getting any love from me, they were mostly the ones who knew me just well enough to like me but not enough to know what my situation is. As much as TRP advocates juggling plates, I've never been able to do more than two at once and still maintain an actual life. This means there have been a fair number of women who got stuck playing a #3, #4 . . . etc role, putting them on the outside looking in.

The odd girl out always held a candle 4-evah.

No woman will hang around in that #3 slot unless she's convinced she knows you well enough that orbiting and being friends might get her somewhere eventually. And that requires that she knows you at least well enough to believe there's a connection there and the timing is just off. (Side note: it's not always game. Sometimes life does just happen to work out in dumb ways, which lends the situation some credibility.)

Of the ones who didn't know me that well but kept pining, they still were ones who saw me around occasionally. Drinking acquaintances, particularly.

I'll also note that the women from #2 on down always had a sadness to them. Even if they were unaware of who the #1 chick was or that it was even happening, they always were sad sacks about it. In fact, knowing the situation often made it easier for them to linger and hope for things to change.

You do need to at least make yourself familiar to a woman before she'll hang around. You don't really have to be all that familiar, but she at least needs to know you a little and have something to latch onto.

[–]mickey__1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

good job man

write something more

[–]residentlifter 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

These are all things that TRP advocates.

[–]JW_2[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed, just wanted to pass it along. Nice to see it reinforced by an older, respected man.

[–]opper-hombre131 points32 points  (1 child) | Copy

Thanks for dropping a summary of the sidebar

[–]cornylamygilbert2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I like that the crucial detail is he's black too"

I have yet to meet a black dude that had no chill

or was bad with women FWIW

[–]JW_2[S] 6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy

What do you guys think of #7?

[–]reditsdf234236 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

It is true. The time she is into you is not defined. It can be a time window of a couple minutes, an hour or even a year. So as long you make your move within that time youre safe. Since we dont know how much time that will be, we have to do it asap (and always assume attraction).

[–]ProFriendZoner2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Women lose interest real quick. You are not her only option. That's my take.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It is solid advice for literally anything. Women are no exception.

Unforced error if you screw that one up.

I read that wrong and now have the same question as, OP.

[–]failingtheturingtest7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy

Two things.

Looks

He didn't mention looks because he's good looking. He doesn't think looks matter, because he hasn't been held back by looks. Women don't openly say "the only reason I gave you a chance to show your confidence and humour is because you are good looking".

Trump thinks that having millions of dollars gifted to him isn't what helped him become a multi millionaire. Everyone who HASN'T had millions of dollars gifted to them knows that is a game changer.

strike while the iron is hot.

It's true that sometimes women are are still into you if it takes you a while to figure it out. But we know they are ruled by emotions, and emotions change. Don't expect their desire today is the same tomorrow. If they are attracted and you don't make a move, they can just as easy assign you to a beta to save their own self-image. Then when you do realise and approach, you're pushed to orbiter because you're a beta in her eyes and beta validation is almost as good.

[–]JW_2[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I agree with you on both of these. The only two things I disagreed with him about.

[–]IronMonk480 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is true. Remember to add the phrase "right now" to whatever she says.

[–]muffdivers7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

4 make a lot of sense. Women always talk, if your are known as the guy that will sleep with anyone, it shows you don’t have standards and lowers your SMV.

I like to go for quality not quantity. First off I am afraid of STIs, and second women will will more likely satisfy my kinks if they know I’m not a whore.

[–]ThisIs_RomanticPaul_0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I attest to this

[–]Nov516052 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

excellent stuff - i guess the only thing ill take exception to is the assumption of attraction part insofar as the scenarios of such you described.

There are dinner whores who just like to live the life and have guys pay for stuff

[–]chomponthebit2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I don’t agree with 7. Timing is everything.

[–]MisterRoid2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

To always assume attraction is a good rule. Even if she's only interested in keeping you as a beta friend, assuming she's into you and acting accordingly will save you valuable time.

[–]3chazthundergut2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

  1. Women are attracted to all of those things. If he doesnt think women are attracted to looks and money as well he is a fool.

  2. True.

  3. True. You are the prize. If you aren't the prize, become the prize

  4. Disagree. I am an incredibly easy lay. Most women in my social circles know I'm a slut and it has never cost me pussy yet. What you should not be is an easy committer. Fuck freely, but guard your time and your commitment carefully.

  5. Agree.

  6. Agree. You've got to make the move. Just grab your nuts and go for it.

  7. Sometimes yes sometimes no. Usually if you dont take a shot she will label you as a beta who was too pussy to make a move.

  8. Yes always assume attraction.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

1 is really #1. Good call.

[–]Incognito_famous0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Money->power->women. Al pacino from the movie Scarface.

[–]Chadster1131 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Lol I don't get number 4

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I literally read number 4 as, "Don't be thirsty."

[–]rewoomantle2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Its simple push pull. Dont be her yes man, always keep mixing it up, break rapport, if she is inviting you to her home play hard to get and let her know you are the prize

[–]Chadster1132 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yea i get that, but its worded weirdly. It makes it sound as if the woman is getting the better deal through sex, which is not true.

[–]JW_2[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

He's black so he said he didn't want to become the novelty "black dick" that white women who are friends chase after and gossip about.

[–]joner8881 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Screenshooting and saving this in my notes

[–]SomeGUy53021 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is exactly what I did.

[–]JW_2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Glad you found it helpful

[–]Insendi1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Was his name Rollo?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

is good looking guy

says looks don’t matter

Yeah totally makes sense 😂

[–]achtung_b4by 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

What do you mean little crumbs?

[–]JW_2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Hints

[–]maintaining_frame0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

IOI

[–]Psychological_Radish0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Women are attracted to three things: power, confidence and humor. Nowhere did he say looks or money.

Obviously those three are all vital factors, but women are visual creatures, too. They become sexually aroused by features that they find aesthetically pleasing, especially when they themselves are young and in their sexual prime. That's the whole point of lifting.

Don’t be an easy lay - basically he said he never wanted to be known in circles as the guy who the women talk about as an easy lay

This one I'm not sure about. Certainly don't devalue yourself by sleeping with whales when you can do better...that's the male version of sluttiness. But barring that, I've literally never heard a conversation like that take place.

If a woman is into you, and you don’t strike while the iron is hot or you are oblivious to her interest, if she’s truly into you she will still be interested when you figure out she was into you.

I think this depends on the SMV differential. A girl close to or maybe slightly above your own SMV is going to lose interest quickly. Attraction has an expiration date, and the female hamster will start rationalizing why you aren't fucking if she's put herself out there.

[–]HurricaneHugues0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

" I’m not sure I agree with this one 100% because many women are too oblivious to see men interpret this as a signal and many women think single men and single women can be just friends."

Women are never oblivious. They know very well when the gut wants them.b They pretend not know, while benefiting from all the validation and desire.

[–]ProFriendZoner0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I know TRP frowns on this, but looks matter. The better looking you are the more validation she gets from friends and society, so don't ever downplay looks.

[–]Morphs_0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

#4 I'm interested in his reasoning.

In the past I used the Mystery style of not having sex on the first night (just sleeping, literally). The prime reason for me was that I was too anxious for sex anyway. Women were surprised by that and often hamstered it into appreciation even if they were horny.

But the problem is that this style also tends to lead into stronger feelings for the woman. So an FwB situation often turns into her catching feelings. Especially if it's an exclusive FwB situation (which was the case back then).

I guess that may be the reason why the guy has a gf. He's not into plating/having multiple women in his life.

Based on this I'd say he has the gaming part figured out, but may still a bit BP in the sense of having relationships.

[–]Casanova-Quinn0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Women are attracted to three things: power, confidence and humor. Nowhere did he say looks or money.

Women are attracted looks. Ok Cupid has data that shows that women rate 80% of men as below average looking. Money is attractive to a degree. Being broke is bad, being rich is a bonus. Humor alone isn't attractive. It's only attractive if the man is attractive. The fat clown doesn't get laid.

[–]1atticusfinch19730 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'd say basically all those points are bang on as a fellow older dude.

[–]Datanami-4 points-3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Humor is overrated though

[–]falecf42 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I dont think it is overrated but you need to make sure you're not a clown.

[–]mrpoopistan1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Actual good humor -- not being a fucking moron playing for laughs, which is being a monkey -- plays very well. It's a signal of social competence and intelligence, which don't often occur in combination.



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