Building up your social skills while in college?

Schrodingersdawg · 2014-08-01T06:05:31+00:00

Lift for confidence and join a top tier frat. Hang out with social people and start talking to everyone. I'm in the same boat as you buddy, it gets better, you just have to throw yourself out of your comfort zone.

2014-08-01T06:48:35+00:00

Fucking is a very important part of building social skills. A lot of the plates I spun in college turned out to really enrich my life by introducing me to new sports, hobbies, music, other friends, etc...I'm even still friendly with a couple of them.

Don't put yourself in a box. Before I went into the military I had accepted that I was smart, not strong or social. I made a dumb decision to chase a big bonus to join a combat arms MOS and I really ended up rounding myself off. It made me stronger in areas that I had accepted I would always be poor in. Now I'm still booksmart and I have a nice body and emotional intelligence to boot. Don't ever put yourself in a box.

MasterMH · 2014-08-01T10:47:54+00:00

Lift. Start a sport - anything physical, literally anything boxing/karate/jujitsu/fencing ANYTHING - SOMETHING. I was Comp Sci at Univeristy - I know exactly where you're coming from, I saw it day in day out.

DO NOT GO MONK MODE. THIS IS SOME OF THE WORST ADVICE EVER.

Get whatever pussy you can, go out and talk to 100 women, yes 100. Go and say Hi - have NO EXPECTATIONS. Be sociable. Read my post history for a post on dominance.

It's scary. As a man, you will find a lot of things scary and do them anyway. That's courage. Stop thinking "what book can I read to be more social" it does not work like that. Go and say hi to people. Seriously right after reading this go for a walk and go say hi to SOMEONE, ANYONE that you do not already know.

One last point - Do not miss out the amazing opportunities of University sports. They ALL are VERY welcoming to ANYBODY new. They want more people there - even if you suck. Nobody starts good, just pick something you want to try and then get good at it. All sports build confidence.

Please read my post on dominance - you need it.

Codex_Dev · 2014-08-01T06:37:14+00:00

Longish post but I recommend reading it, these are the things that most helped me get over my issues when I was diagnosed with social anxiety.

The best advice I found from this sub to confronting issues is to just keep asking yourself Why and How.

In your situation it might go like this; Social interaction is scary to me, why? I'm scared I might fuck it up and someone will think I'm weird. Why is that scary to me? I'm scared I won't have friends/women. Why is that scary to me... and keep going till you can't go any deeper, that's the root of you fear.

Then do the exact same thing with the how; How can I fix this? I'll stop caring what people think of me. How can I do that? I'll just keep reminding myself I don't need outside validation every time I leave the house etc...

The simplest (not easiest) way to overcome a social fear (normally fear of what people think of you) is to love yourself. It's the only opinion that actually matters. Once you're comfortable with yourself then you won't give two shits about what others think and you'll feel more comfortable in social situations. Also give up trying to be perfect, don't think in your head about what you should or shouldn't say, if something pops into your head say it. 99% of the time you're not going to say something stupid, it's better to say 99 right things and 1 wrong thing than it is to say nothing. Also if you can, get a job in retail. It will make you get over your social issues by the end of your first shit, when you work retail you get hundreds of opportunities to trial your conversation skills with a good chance that you're never going to see that person again.

It might not happen overnight for you but you'll get there, for the most part people don't give a shit about you even if you say something dumb keep that in mind. Good luck.

2014-08-01T07:11:50+00:00

[deleted]

What is this?

the_meme-master · 2014-08-01T06:27:34+00:00

Get hench (lift heavy weights).

Hit bars and clubs.

You're just going to have to suck it up and force yourself to talk to people. You want the easy way out. There is no easy way.

AFPJ · 2014-08-01T08:16:01+00:00

What are some ways you can build up your social skills while in college? Books I can read? Part-time jobs?

The bad part about being very intelligent is that because you are so good at thinking and working with knowledge you have the propensity to gravitate towards doing just that, because it is so easy.

Limit yourself to a maximum ratio of 80/20 in terms of Action/Practice. For every hour you spend on TRP, reading a social skill book or something similar, you should be spending 4 hours interacting with people.

2014-08-01T09:33:27+00:00

just a tip to the wise: whatever you do don't try to use your intelligence to imitate stupidity unless you are putting on a show on youtube or something.

PlanB_pedofile · 2014-08-01T13:13:33+00:00

Sign up to be a model for a figure drawing class. I think today's rates will be near 15 an hour for 2 hours.

It's easy. Stand there like Michaelangelo David with your flacid shriveled wang while a whole classroom full of students paying $300 a semester hour draws your cock.

You're naked. Vulnerable. In front of men and women. It's the most intense frame maintaining experience ever.

Pose like you are the Queen's guard, unflinching, un moving, like a soldier weathering rain and abuse. Let all fear and shame pass through you till you stop giving a fuck about other people's opinions. ..

being naked in front of a class is the thing of nightmares, but you are getting paid for it. They are paying money to see you naked. Who gives a fuck about other people's opinions. They can stare at your cock all class period. Bullies? What they gonna do, call you fag? It's them looking at your dick. Women laughing at the size your knob? They paid for two hours to look at it.

You'll reach this zen where the majority of other people's opinions is all in your head. It's not real what others think of you, it becomes what you think of you. If you can stand naked in front of the eyes of many, then you shouldn't fear any type of failure. You should be able to approach because your wang was exposed! What do you have to lose? Dozens have seen your chode. So go on and get out there!

Tip: you don't have to six pack or be a greek god to pose nude. But if you're so fat that you can't see your own dick or your belly fat makes it that others can't see your dick, then fix that first! Get healthy man! Shit... run a mile.

2014-08-01T12:56:23+00:00

A part time job is a great way to expand social skills because you automatically build rapport with coworkers by having to go through the same shit, your boss will largely appreciate that you are competent compared to the prankster smart alecks you'll be working with, and there is a constant flow of new people to have tiny interactions with.

I am imagining something like working at a skating rink at the skate counter, Subway, or pizza delivery. Those jobs force you to interact with people and have time to ponder what went wrong/right with the previous few interactions.

fatmoocow · 2014-08-01T13:33:40+00:00

Resolve to humiliate yourself. Do the exact thing that you fear. Talk shit to girls. Introduce yourself. Talk to every girl you see. Make eye contact. Be awkward and bask in the awkwardness. Decide that you have to say Hi to 5 girls every fucking day for the next 400 days, whatever.

For however long you are not going to be successful and the only way to change that is to practice being unsuccessful until you learn what works.

Then join any clubs you are remotely interested in that are non-nerdy and have a reasonable number of females. Ultimate frisby club, tennis club, whatever.

Get in the gym 4-7 times per week even if aren't doing anything. Do whatever the physiology majors are doing outside the gym. These are the dudes who get laid. Talk to the trainers in the gym. Take classes in exercise science in order to meet gym people.

There is no substitute for getting jacked.

2014-08-01T16:21:12+00:00

Whatever you do, don't let your grades slip. If you want to be more social, go do it. But don't let your grades fail as well.

genuine_walrus · 2014-08-01T11:49:55+00:00

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influence_People

2014-08-01T13:36:33+00:00

Hey brother. I have a simple strategy for you. Make a friend who is outgoing. Then go out to a social event with them, be it bar, club, sport, whatever. You should work on confidence and what not of course, though getting out there in the field should be your first step.

james_bell · 2014-08-01T14:35:15+00:00

Good advice here, I'll add one that I'm working on: talk to strangers. Anywhere. Standing in line, elevators, on the street. Make random chit chat about anything. Do this for awhile and you won't fear conversation. I've always thought I was the type "you had to get to know ", but the truth is I rarely interacted with people at all.

2014-08-01T16:35:39+00:00

Get a bar job. A pub job. Not picking up glasses at a dance club. A place that serves Guinness and actually lets it rest. Side door, door, floor if that's how you have to move up the ranks, bouncer, bar back, whatever. Always be trying to move up the ranks to bar tending but also be sure to remember that it's a part time job and not the focus of your life. You'll be forced to interact with people. You'll make more money than you would at any other part time gig. You'll be out in a social atmosphere without throwing your money away on overpriced drinks and skanks that are trying to use you to pay their bar tab. You'll have to work with hot girls that you have no chance of banging, or maybe you will, and you'll see them for the selfish broken sociopaths that they are. There's no better way to take girls of the pedestal than that. This alone makes it worth it. Not only that but eventually you'll be a master of dealing with shit tests from them and the patrons. You'll end up having better stories and more fun. i can keep going on and on.

2014-08-01T20:07:57+00:00

One problem you'll most likely develope is retreating into the comfort of theory without putting in the time practicing it to understand. You'll convince yourself that you'll be ready to go out once you finish just one more book on social dynamics, or you'll be ready next month once you've read more red pill. These are lies you tell yourself, and lies that we all tell ourselves to some extent.

Don't bother reading anything more on dating or social dynamics. Go lift. Seriously, lift heavy. Do heavy compound movements, and slap as much muscle onto your body as you possibly can. Pick up Starting Strength and make it a habit to go.

Being stronger than everyone around you gives you confidence you can't fake. People respect a strong man, so become one. A little pipsqueak screaming "respect me" at the top of his lungs is going to get nothing more than laughs.

Now, for the social interaction, people (men) at the gym are incredibly nice. A great way to introduce yourself is to ask someone to check your form. After that, shake hands with them and introduce yourself. It's that easy. You don't need to carry a conversation, just get your face out there. Once you go for a couple months, you'll be a regular there and the gym will feel like home. You'll know tons of people's names who are also regulars, and once you're ready you can ask them out to go drink and chill with you. No biggie.

As for women, man, you just gotta go out there and get your first 100 rejections out of the way as soon as possible. Don't bother reading shit, because what you read in Models will contradict some of what you read here. If you try to juggle it all in your mind and you approach a pretty girl, then you'll forget it all and stumble trying to remember it. Just go out there and say boring shit, say funny shit, say offensive shit, just gauge peoples reactions.

One last thing, if you talk about boring mundane shit, you're going to get mostly boring and mundane reactions. If you push the limit of what's acceptable, then you're going to get very diverse (and sometimes very bad) reactions. You'll also get some good reactions. Understand it, and accept it. Just because some girl called you a creep doesn't mean what you did was necessarily bad, it just means it didn't work on her. Take the good with the bad, and don't let one girl's reaction throw you off for the rest of the night.

2014-08-01T21:15:38+00:00

Monk mode is not made for a few years. It should only last a few weeks or maybe a few months. A summer between school semesters is the best time to do that. Also next time your sister does that inform her you will not tolerate that kind d of talk and if she persists then cut her our completely for a time. But join clubs and groups. A fraternity is good, but you will need to be confident and have good frame when rushing. Or else no frat will take you.

2014-08-01T22:21:47+00:00

Take a alumni fundraising job in your university. Something like that is bound to build you up socially because you're going to have to be personable and confident to get donations from alumni. Just a suggestion.

ill_rp · 2014-08-03T00:27:13+00:00

Honestly, put your sister in her place. Check that bitch if she ever disrespects you and tries to humiliate you again. You deserve better man.

ill_rp · 2014-08-03T00:37:16+00:00

Can anyone explain what's so bad about monk mode? I see nothing wrong with taking a chunk of time to focus on yourself and temporarily go MGTOW mode. Take that time to better yourself (Lift, read, learn skills, etc). If interacting with bitches/people causes you angst, slowly but surely build yourself up to the best version of you and then tackle those social issues. As long as you have a plan, whats the big deal?

cdogg75 · 2014-08-01T12:40:38+00:00

stop jerking off.

-seriously

cwschizzy · 2014-08-01T08:00:44+00:00

NONONONONO

I attempted to do this and ended up getting kicked out of college, and spent 5 days in jail and am currently 20k in debt with nothing to show for it, didn't even last a month in college.

DO NOT USE COLLEGE TO PRACTICE SOCIAL SKILLS, THERE IS FAR TOO MUCH ON THE LINE TO RISK IT ALL TO TALK TO OTHER PEOPLE WAIT UNTIL YOUR DEGREE IS FINISHED.

Title	Building up your social skills while in college?
Author	The_BitterTruth
Upvotes	38
Comments	33
Date	August 1, 2014 5:45 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2cb9i9/building_up_your_social_skills_while_in_college/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/building-up-your-social-skills-while-in-college.18745 https://theredarchive.com/post/18745