What happens if you communicate your emotions in a breakup

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August 5, 2014


"Since we both acknowledged there was no fighting it anymore, Janice used the session to help us say our goodbyes. It was completely surreal. We told each other what we learned from one another, and what we learned from the relationship. I had never seen Philip cry once in our relationship, and as he explained through his own form of sobbing that he had never been more intimate with anyone in his whole life, I immediately stopped crying. Even though I was devastated, it was clear if only in that moment that he had let his fears get the best of him. That's why this relationship was ending. "

Prior to this, she was devastated he wanted to leave her. Once he shared his feelings, she dried up and felt superior.

Post Information
Title What happens if you communicate your emotions in a breakup
Author cover20
Upvotes 247
Comments 200
Date 05 August 2014 03:08 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/18913
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2cnj59/what_happens_if_you_communicate_your_emotions_in/
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[–]let_terror_reign485 points486 points  (64 children) | Copy

My girlfriend broke up with me in the most brutal way possible : leave me on the hook, go out with another guy and tell me he was fun and nice to have around. I burst into tears of sheer pain and she says "Stop crying" with such an expression of disgust. I vowed never to cry in front of a woman again without great exception.
Funny how much respect we give their tears when they are fake, and how little we get when ours are real.

[–]blazingcopper169 points170 points  (1 child) | Copy

That was a powerful sentence.

[–]captshady28 points29 points  (20 children) | Copy

I once ran over a bee hive with a riding lawn mower, got stung over 200 times, and went into anaphylaxis shock. I lived out in the country, so over an ambulance ride, the (now ex) wife had to drive me to the hospital.

One of the symptoms of that, is an "impending sense of doom." I was 100% convinced I was going to die in just a few moments. I said, "I'm going to die," and got that same expression you're speaking of. An expression, and tone of absolute disgust, and impatience. Like I had constantly walked around going "I'm going to die" on a regular basis.

[–]the99percent126 points27 points  (14 children) | Copy

dude.. my late father who passed recently with terminal cancer broke into a crying sob one night. He didn't want to die.

Right there in that moment, my mum catches him and says, no, you are not allowed to cry..

It infuriated me.. I nearly wanted to speak out and say no, he's allowed to feel this raw emotion. But I didn't out of respect of my parents.

It was there and then I realized, as a man, even when you are staring death in the face, you have to be motherfucking stoic and emotionless till the end. You can never ever show any signs of weakness towards your woman..

[–][deleted] 17 points17 points | Copy

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[–][deleted] 41 points42 points  (2 children) | Copy

You always die alone. Always.

[–]1cover20[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good point. Now that I am married and getting older, I agree. It's a crapshoot whether I can get actual help or not, and I realize a lot of married guys have it worse than that.

[–]1cover20[S] 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

I regret not having been more outspoken with my parents too, but I restrained myself out of too much respect.

I cannot understand what your mother said. But I believe she said it.

[–]the99percent13 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

my old man was and has always been in control of his emotions. He was well and truly the captain of the ship.

Even with all the physical pain and chemotherapy he was enduring, It was very out of character for him to break down crying that one night.. It freaked us all out. Especially my mum who's so used to seeing a stoic, calm and level headed man.

She said what her hamster told her to. It worked for her. That was the last time I ever saw my dad display helplessness and fear for his life. He died a brave and dignified man.

For all his faults and hot temperness and being distant from his loved ones, I cannot fault him for raising 4 children by himself and ultimately sacrificing his life to protect and care for his family..

It is a stark reminder of how we should all be when staring our own death in the face. Go out brave and strong. Don't be a crying pussy..

[–]let_terror_reign5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

This is heartbreaking, but maybe there's a reason in this case. His wife is holding it together only because he's a rock. The second he loses it, reality will hit her like a tonne of bricks. She will go to pieces, literally. She needs for him to remain strong so her sanity is intact.

[–]Ulquiorra_Schiffer8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

Thats more than a little pathetic.

[–][deleted] 4 points4 points | Copy

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[–]dallz_beep0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's true. Women want the power of a man without the responsibility. Even in the BP world they tend to know this.

[–]kneeonbelly2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sorry for your loss, bro. I feel like you wouldn't have been disrespectful in saying that but you did what you thought was best at the time.

[–]DexterousRichard0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is true, but it engenders a great hatred for that aspect of women, and rightfully so.

A good woman has to be schooled at a very young age that she is to be supportive when a man needs her help; or face the consequence of losing his support after, because to fall down in her duty at the gravest time is the worst betrayal.

[–]AlexanderTheModerate 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

When I was shot, I didn't cry the whole time in the hospital, or in the woods when it happened, except once. That one time was when my girlfriend came to visit me. I think I cried because I didn't want her to see me like that, vulnerable, and weak in a way. She left like 30 minutes after that, and that was the first time she saw me since I was shot.

[–]Endorsed Contributorseattleron0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

What happened after? Did she leave you, or do you think she lost respect?

Also, how in the fuck did you get shot in the woods? Didnt have your orange vest on?

Also, assuming you're okay, that's pretty fucking badass. That's one hell of a story to tell. A kid I went to school with shot himself hunting. Poor bastard was never the same.

[–]AlexanderTheModerate 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

I think she may have been shocked that I was actually crying. I never cried before and she probably thought of me as that rock. This happened in December of last year, and we broke up like 3 weeks ago. So I'm not positive if she lost respect for me, after all I was physically wounded.

Also, the full story and pics are in my post history, so if you want to check that out, feel free. But basically, I brought my AR hunting, and I set it on a hook I placed in the tree, and it bump fired, and one or two got me in the arm. It's a wicked scar. 2/23 would shoot again

[–]Endorsed Contributorseattleron0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

What was the look on her face like when she saw you crying? I know chicks who see guys crying and think it's sweet. IDK if some girls like it because it takes their emotions on a ride (which they all absolutely crave), or if they just enjoy guys who cry sometimes. I know not all chicks hate it. Most probably do, but I've seen several who were up their BF's ass even more after he cried from a relative dying or something of that sort.

[–]Endorsed Contributorredpillbanana70 points71 points  (9 children) | Copy

Funny how much respect we give their tears when they are fake, and how little we get when ours are real.

Well-said. One woman's fake tears lead the US to war: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nayirah_(testimony)

This is a good example of the massive power of a young and attractive woman's tears.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (6 children) | Copy

to be fair "Her story was initially corroborated by Amnesty International and testimony from evacuees"

[–]Endorsed Contributorredpillbanana8 points9 points  (5 children) | Copy

The Kuwaitis spent a ton of money on selling the invasion to the US pubic. From the Wikipedia article:

Hill & Knowlton is estimated to have been given as much as $12 million by the Kuwaitis for their public relations campaign.[

Their money certainly could have bought plenty of false testimonies.

The CBC did a good documentary on the whole story called "To Sell a War":


[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yeah thats my point. That the US didnt literally go to war over one single woman crying.

[–]Endorsed Contributorredpillbanana1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

According to the info below, the US might have literally gone to war over one single woman crying. It came down to a 52-47 vote in the Senate.


...the firm arranged for an appearance before a group of members of the U.S. Congress in which a woman identifying herself as a nurse working in the Kuwait City hospital described Iraqi soldiers pulling babies out of incubators and letting them die on the floor.[89]

The story was an influence in tipping both the public and Congress towards a war with Iraq: six Congressmen said the testimony was enough for them to support military action against Iraq and seven Senators referenced the testimony in debate. The Senate supported the military actions in a 52–47 vote. A year after the war, however, this allegation was revealed to be a fabrication. The woman who had testified was found to be a member of Kuwait's Royal Family, in fact the daughter of Kuwait's ambassador to the U.S.[89] She hadn't lived in Kuwait during the Iraqi invasion.

[–]vicious_armbar-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah thats my point. That the US didnt literally go to war over one single woman crying.

After looking at the facts cited by redpillbanana it seems that we did.

[–]vicious_armbar0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Quite a bargain considering the cost of the war was $60 billion dollars.

[–]Endorsed Contributorredpillbanana0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Politicians are notoriously cheap to purchase - great ROI.

[–]ColdEiric10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

USA and its army would never let a casus belli go unused.

Edit: but that doesn't say whether her tears was a strong or a weak casus belli.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Like russia invading our ally?

[–]1FloranHunter108 points109 points  (1 child) | Copy

Funny how much respect we give their tears when they are fake, and how little we get when ours are real.

Holy shit dude. Write more!

[–]let_terror_reign10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Haha. Thanks. I'm working on something, more along these lines.

[–][deleted] 37 points38 points  (10 children) | Copy

Damn dude that hit hard and is unfortunately incredibly true.

[–]let_terror_reign39 points40 points  (9 children) | Copy

It's really sad. Men cry when they genuinely feel loss. Women cry when they want something or don't like something. Guess which happens more often? You'd think someone who never cries would be taken more seriously for the sentiment that his crying represents. But to them, it's a genuine sign of weakness. I don't tell my current girl any of my worries or weaknesses.

[–]Air4ce143 points44 points  (3 children) | Copy

"You'd think someone who never cries would be taken more seriously for the sentiment that his crying represents."

Unfortunately it doesn't work that way,but it does work the other way around. When you cry, as a man, it's because it's something serious to you. So when you see someone cry, man or woman, you will generally think it's something serious. Woman cry for just about everything, so when they see someone else crying, they don't register it on as serious of a level.

[–]let_terror_reign13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

I've never thought about it that way. That's a good point

[–]1Snivellious10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Damn, this makes a lot of sense. On an abstract level tears should be more alarming when they're from someone who doesn't cry, but I didn't stop and look at how each gender views tears.

[–]Endorsed Contributorseattleron2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well said.

They know crying is a manipulative, crock of shit, fairy tale outward expression of their hodgepodge of emotions. When a man does it they believe it's for the same reasons, and it sickens them because its femanine in nature.

[–]Gstreetshit11 points12 points  (3 children) | Copy

I don't tell my current girl any of my worries or weaknesses.

Me either bro except I'm married. You are to be the rock. You are to be unwavering. I would never cry in front of my wife. I would leave the house before that happened.

But it is bullshit that its instant disgust and disdain from females when they encounter it.

Its just the way they are. You can't change it, so just be aware of it.

[–]AlexanderTheModerate 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

I see what you're saying, but isn't TRP about being a man of value, and taking accountability of your emotions, and letting others deal with how you carry yourself?

Shouldn't we be telling these women to fuck off if they find our tears to be a sign of weakness, since they're certainly genuine tears after all?

[–]Gstreetshit0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Shouldn't we be telling these women to fuck off if they find our tears to be a sign of weakness, since they're certainly genuine tears after all?

This might make your action somewhat redeemable.

But in order for you to tell them to fuck off they have to say something that warrants it first.

Make no mistake, while there are some women that would blatantly tell you that you are being a pussy, which you should tell to get fucked in short order. I think the majority will act like they are concerned externally and mark a check by "pussy" in their brains. Then 6 months later you're a cuckold and have no idea what happened.

edit: Just to be clear. She may even be genuinely concerned about your feelings at that moment in time, then the hamster kicks in a little later and you are viewed as weak and so is your seed. Time to find some alpha fux.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

And if you want to keep her around you never really can talk about your doubts or worries. It's pretty sad to think about, but that "person you're supposed to trust more than anyone" is the person you need to be most guarded around because they pounce on weakness and are great at bringing it out.

You just gotta find a solid guy friend to talk to the deep shit about, because they can both respect it and offer actual help, whereas the woman will scowl and scorn you for being lame. Keeping frame is tough, but necessary.

[–]Dopebear15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

That last sentence, we've all been there and felt that.

Relationships and how people deal with emotions are ugly.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

Funny how much respect we give their tears when they are fake, and how little we get when ours are real.

Jesus fucking christ. This sentence!

[–]cherubym 9 points9 points [recovered] | Copy

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

I had a similar situation too, though not a breakup. The disgust in her voice said it all. It was like a cold bucket of water to the face, this supposedly caring and compassionate girl really didn't give a shit about my feelings.

Never again. I will never ever show my vulnerable side to a girl, especially one I'm in a relationship with.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Women are fully aware of their capriciousness, of the turbulence of their emotional zephyrs, and they purposely seek out stoic men who can control and handle them.

Women don't just dislike betas and weak men, they are disgusted by them, they LOATHE them. The second a woman knows she can control your emotions she no longer has a use for you.

[–]GC0W302 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not most brutal possible due to: did not marry you.

[–][deleted] 3 points3 points | Copy

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[–]let_terror_reign-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

Nope. I put forward my experience with one woman as an example, and comment sagely on a general trend. Which is backed up by all the stories below.

[–][deleted] 2 points2 points | Copy

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[–]let_terror_reign0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

  1. Look at all the other responses.
  2. Yes, there are always exceptions. But this is a trend. Psssh. If you're an exception good for you. A significant majority are not that nice. As a rule of thumb, when we say group X does Y, it DOESN'T mean Y is a defining characteristic of X. It means Y is prevalent among X.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

I know we shouldn't hate women, and I don't, but could someone remind my why?

[–]squishles1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

It's kinda fun when you cut through the manipulation layer.

[–]let_terror_reign0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Or when you learn to play it yourself

[–]dallz_beep0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Because smug dickheads will endlessly point you to that link with the "stages of grief" or whatever, having unwavering faith that it's true, and frame themselves as superior to you for being "beyond the anger stage." You of course don't want to feel inferior to anybody so you say, "Yeah! I'm over it! Women are simply different, that's all! Why would I hate them, it's just evolution!" You then give them respect they don't deserve.

[–]slurmfactory0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

yeah but how much respect do you really give their tears? Especially now that you've seen what showing weakness does to a female.

[–]FemtoG0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Realest shit he ever wrote

[–]Endorsed ContributorBluepillProfessor-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

My God that was good except I don't think it is funny at all.

[–]fapuffin108 points109 points  (49 children) | Copy

He showed true weakness and vulnerability and she lost all respect for him. Women are brutal in that way.

Their sweetness only exists for as long as you can maintain the illusion of unbreakable masculinity. I say illusion because let's face it, this is hard to achieve.

The same way that most women have a very small chance of being able to have the face and body of Jessica Alba at 18, most men (including us) can't be "REAL ALPHAS" (TM). So in order to have a good relationship with one, you have to put up the facade. The problem is, what do you do when you get tired of it?

[–]blazingcopper28 points29 points  (48 children) | Copy

Simple you have to fake it til you make it. Being alpha is really just promoting the real side of you and not the nice boy side that isn't the real you.

[–]1cover20[S] 15 points16 points  (28 children) | Copy

Yes discover the inner alpha. The girl wants to see your personality. That gives you the choice of what personality to show her.

In the long run it does get tiring. I am married a long time and raising a family with my wife. Frequently things come up that we should discuss. She is unable to discuss them because, well, women just aren't like that. Sometimes she'll say whatever the problem is, is my fault, without any reason, just to avoid discussion I guess.

I am quite tired of it, but if you want a family with the mother around, I guess that's what you have to put up with. We may wish women were different, but being delusional isn't a good solution to the problem.

Maybe getting born on a better planet next time is the only solution.

[–]Soultrane923 points24 points  (26 children) | Copy

Is this family shit worth it in conclusion?

[–]Dopebear4 points5 points  (23 children) | Copy

I don't get why you're getting downvoted. Perhaps "family shit" hurts some people. Don't know.

I don't have children, but I can only assume that some people want kids and some people don't. And for those that do want kids, it's worth all the risk and troubles and likewise, isn't for others.

[–]DexterousRichard5 points6 points  (9 children) | Copy

When you have a son, and he starts doing and saying things like you, merely because he's innately like you, without ever having been taught; when he understands you and your struggles far better than your wife of 15 years; when you see that he loves you with his entire being and he wants to be like you and wants you to be happy; when you know you and he have a bond that will last until you die, that he will be loyal to you forever, more so than your closest male friends, you will feel that it might just have been worth it. ;)

[–]Endorsed Contributorseattleron0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy

Well shit, that makes a hell of a lot of sense, but at the same time I don't want to have a kid for what he can do for me. I don't think that's the right reason.

[–]DexterousRichard0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

I was just describing what a parent gets out of it. Certainly, the entire other side of it is seeing him grow and become a man, teaching and helping and giving to him... That's just as rewarding. You just can't describe all the great things about being a father. It's the wife that sucks.

[–]Endorsed Contributorseattleron0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Oh I see.

Yeah, I can imagine it truly is the best thing that could ever happen to you. A couple things scare me like what if his mom turns out to be a bitch and you only get to see him every other weekend. Or what if he goes off the deep end and ends up a POS in trouble all of the time.

I want kids sometimes, and others it scares the living shit it out of me.

[–]DexterousRichard0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

True, some kids are just bad eggs. I am extremely lucky that mine are not. But a ton of it has to do with your genes. If you have a core of integrity, I believe that it's likely your kids will too.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (6 children) | Copy

The red pill should be a place where people just fucking don't get "hurt". Everybody is hurt all the time it seems.

[–]ForgotMyNameGG15 points16 points  (3 children) | Copy

Most people only discover TRP after they've been left bleeding. It's the reason why so many on here are still battling their depression and insecurity, and why all-around bitterness runs rampant on here.

Although I'm not a fan of it, these stages are crucial for them to battle out their inner demons. I usually ignore this subreddit when it's sob-story week and just read the interesting articles / opinions that are posted.

[–]crisblunt2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Checkout /alreadyred , probably the place for you.

[–]dontlikemyfire0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I feel the same way. I avoid most of the anger posts, read more of the theory posts/articles instead.

[–]1cover20[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Then just read lifting threads.

[–]1Snivellious2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

That last point is a big one. At the point where you have or plan kids, giving your life for them isn't surprising. Giving some years in a less than happy relationship suddenly makes a lot of sense given that standard.

[–]1whatsazipper0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

I'm going to impregnate a beta bux's wife. They can raise my children. I've got better things to do.

[–]1cover20[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

I hope he catches you and handles the justice personally and quickly. Then gets rid of the lump of protoplasm as well as separating from the woman who cheated on him.

The crazy thing I just realized writing this is that you might care more about creating the child than what happens to you as a result of getting caught, and she might prefer the child to the relationship with the beta, so despite the beta's best efforts, if that fetus isn't aborted, you could win.

Before you dump her, don't let the cheating bitch keep the fetus if you can stop it. First tell her that you'll stay with her if she gets an abortion, then afterward change your mind and walk. Waiting until it's born and having a paternity test is better than not having the test, but in some sense it's too late because the asshole man has passed on his genes, and the woman has joined hers to his, and if they can't get CS from you they'll tap the taxpayer for it to raise that bastard child.

Maybe THIS is why the laws give the man in a relationship no say over what a woman does with a fetus she is carrying.

[–]1whatsazipper0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Women with solid game are great actresses. When she's off the pill and looking to have a baby -- who is going to be, the ugly/average beta bux or the handsome RP man? She's guaranteed funding through marriage. She's guaranteed an ugly ass child if she lets that guy impregnate her. Sexy son if it's with me. ;)

DNA paternity tests are rare.

All drives 'reasonably' satisfied here. He gets to be a father, she gets to be a mother, and I get to reproduce.

In the past this would have been unthinkable to me. But it takes two to tango, and you've got to realize that women will help with cuckolding if it means they have better offspring as well as better support.

There are some aspects to our species that aren't 'nice' but are effective.

[–]1cover20[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

DNA paternity tests are not as rare as they used to be. Other men are not generally as stupid as you think, and sometimes God inserts an accident or two to stop you from getting away with it.

You're probably just trolling, but let's just say you would have a lot better luck donating your sperm to a sperm bank. But come to think of it, you probably have a vagina (men are rarely as sociopathic as you) and are looking for an excuse to cheat on your man. Hey it could work, try it and see, it's only your whole life you'll have to regret it. :)

[–]1whatsazipper0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thankfully I'm on good terms with God ;)

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you have kids, you owe it to them to have two parents in the picture. Just make sure this isn't used against you as an excuse for a devious woman to get her way. On the other hand, don't use devious women as an excuse to shit on the children you have a responsibility toward.

What I am saying is, if you want kids, you really should do the family shit. If you don't, then, right, it isn't worth it.

[–]1cover20[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah I guess so, I passed on my genes, have great boys, and I had more or less already done everything else to the point I had an idea what things were like. I figured out a lot on my own, including enough "red pill" stuff about women to get my wife when I wanted to do so.

Now I found out what this is like. I would be missing out on a lot if I didn't have kids, and to do that you really should have the mother around too. We used to be really in love. Now it's work, but there are OK times too. We're used to it. It's like a siege.

Look all you folks can downvote me, but unless you can tell me what I did wrong and be convincing about it, you're just being lame. Look this isn't just a sub about lifting. This thread is not primarily about the lifting mindset, it's more about game. I think game is more interesting than lifting, ymmv.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (16 children) | Copy

The problem is... most guys if it weren't for women would be at peace with being a beta. There's literally nothing wrong with it if you take out women.

[–]1Ill_mumble_that7 points8 points  (3 children) | Copy

Betas make good employees. They are complacent, they do what they are told without question, they vent their emotions about company policy they might disagree with which weeds them out, and they they are easily replaceable if they fuck up.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is very true and one of those things I would have fought to agree with before finding this sub. Over 10 years in IT, I've seen so many powerful employees be replaced easily. I'm a cog in the corporate machine but at least now I am aware of this fact. THe idea of breaking out of this safety blanket of corporate life is scary to me. I've missed opportunities years ago, but now I am much more likely to take risks.

[–]SteelChicken0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

They are also the primary movers on which modern civilization (actually even earlier civilization as well) depends on. Don't hate or disparage because of a difference in skillsets and outlooks on life.

[–]1Ill_mumble_that0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I completely agree. I don't hate the betas. I am learning to use them to my advantage. Betas will follow strong leaders. I have beta tendencies in myself, I'm not uber-alpha, but I'm aware of them which is half the battle.

[–]Senior ContributorSkorchZang2 points3 points  (10 children) | Copy

Apparently there's some old eastern wisdom saying, to the effect that woman is God's way of speaking to a man. This stuck with me for reasons unknown, I think about it time and time again when shit goes down. Your comment just added that extra weight to the eastern wiseman punchline.

[–]boscoist3 points4 points  (9 children) | Copy

BS, its biology's way of compelling us to create the next generation.

[–]sagacioussage0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

That's really saying the exact same thing when you think about it

[–]boscoist 0 points0 points [recovered] | Copy

God adds nothing to the discussion and gives no predictive or useful model. Removing it is an optimization.

[–]sagacioussage3 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy

when you don't hold any particular ideology as part of your identity you'll find the world is richer and fuller than you ever thought

no need to be so obsessively atheist all the time. God is a huge part of human history and philosophy whether you like it or not, and whether he's real or not.

[–]boscoist-1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy

Atheism carries no ideology, it is merely the lack of belief in a god(s). The universe is far richer than we can comprehend, I am aware. It's actually all the more powerful without a deity to make us feel like special snowflakes.

So I'm supposed to be silent? I'm not sorry, fuck that. Just because it was a huge part of history and philosophy doesn't mean it needs to continue that way.

[–]sagacioussage1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

you can say atheism isn't an ideology, whatever that doesnt matter. I am saying that it's bad to have atheism be a part of your identity, because it then makes you recoil from valuable things that happen to have God associated with them. Dismissing old philosophy/insights because they mention God adds nothing of value.

read this

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

C'mon guys, there's plenty of room for ALL delusional oversimplified worldviews in here.

[–]1cover20[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Adaptive behavior with other men is fairly beta. Everyone gets along, don't push too hard, you do your thing and let the others do theirs, help each other out. Don't try to lead to the point that you pushing others into a subordinate role they don't want.

But these men have to learn that with women, they should forget all that, step to the front and be assertive. It's the opposite of what society tells them, but once they start it should be like riding a bicycle. Easy.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

I guess being an Alpha is not possible for most of us, but neither are we Betas. Most of us are Alpha-Beta-balanced from nature. And often this is good enough. Only when we allow to become Betas the problems start.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

No one is either all the time. Even the most "natural" bro alpha dude can still end up putting a woman on a pedestal. We have the advantage of analyzing the situations like this post from a 3rd person perspective

[–][deleted] 25 points26 points  (2 children) | Copy

If you read the story they get back together a year or two later.

[–]Xein14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah I feel like nobody actually read the article...

This shit kinda scares me. Basically they had been dating for ONE YEAR and she's already hounding him about moving in together and shit. He says no, which is what a reasonable man should say. But he gets painted as the one with "commitment issues" and has to deal with a bunch of bs therapy sessions.

I have to admit though... she gamed this guy well. He ended up calling her back 3 months later and agreeing to move in. Sadly the dude probably couldn't get laid elsewhere. There really is nothing more dangerous than not being able to land another girl.

[–]TattedGuyser74 points75 points  (10 children) | Copy

If your already in the therapists office, your already fucked. Don't go to 'couples counseling' or any of that other shit, it's designed to empower the woman in the relationship and subdue the man. Of course this is all under the guise of giving each other space and "taking some time apart" - aka Giving her permission to go around fucking other guys. Counseling just doesn't work.

Then there's the question of why you are communicating emotions, or even communicating, in a breakup? If your at the end of a marriage, talking should be done through your lawyer, if it's a simple STR or LTR, just walk away and be done with it. No good can come of you trying to stick around and "be friends" with her. Move on with your life.

[–]jaysire23 points24 points  (9 children) | Copy

This might be the case in the US or wherever you live. I once agreed to go to a few sessions here in Scandinavia with my "almost-wife" (not married, but we have a kid) during a rough patch. Each session ended with me "winning", if you can call it that even though I made no effort to win anything. I just calmly explained my point of view without much emotion and the (rather hot) therapist-lady usually sided with me and repeatedly hinted to my wife that she might benefit from one-on-one therapy instead to sort out her issues.

I did make the mistake of mentioning to my wife that the therapist was pretty hot and we sort of stopped going after that. The therapy in itself didn't feel that useful.

Just wanted to point out that in my experience not all couples' therapy is geared towards favoring the woman.

[–]GC0W3030 points31 points  (3 children) | Copy

I'm in the US. I had a therapist who couldn't not laugh at my wife when she tried to hamster that I should do half the chores despite her having no job and no kids to worry about. But... ultimately, all that therapy did was band-aid a marriage that was no good. If I'd skipped the therapy, I might have divorced 5 years sooner and not lost half a decade of my life and happiness.

[–]1independentmale4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm also in the US and got trapped going to therapy with my now ex wife. After rationally and calmly explaining my side, the therapist looked me dead in the eye and said, "Why are you still with her?" Before I could respond, she added, "Most men would have left long ago. Why are you still here?"

It was an eye-opener. After the divorce, I went back to that therapist a couple of times on my own just to wrap a few things up for my own personal well being. She said she knew divorce was inevitable as soon as she met us, that she was wondering when I would come to my senses and dump the nutcase and that she was proud of me for doing so.

[–]jaysire0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Damn. Some lessons in life are expensive. Hope your life is better now.

[–]GC0W302 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

The dating/sex part is better than that of anyone I know. I've got a little bit of hard work to put in to meet certain other goals, and then I'll be completely golden. Don't cry for me, Jaysirentina.......

[–]captshady13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy

A friend of mine went with his now-ex girlfriend. One story he told, just killed me ... I must have laughed for 10 minutes non stop. Apparently, she had a problem with him not changing the toilet paper roll when it was empty. So, whenever she changed it, she put the date on the empty roll, with a sharpie, and saved it. She brought in this bag of empty rolls, and dumped them on their therapist's desk.

The therapist was aghast at first, and finally she told the girlfriend, "you're really sick!" LMAO I can just picture that self righteous posture and expression, we've all seen a multitude of times I'm sure. Then the expression on her face when she didn't "win."

[–]Tom_The_Human11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy

"I did make the mistake of mentioning to my wife that the therapist was pretty hot and we sort of stopped going after that" should have just carried on going for dat Dread Game.

[–]Outside_of_bubble2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Haha oh I love scandanavia. They do a lot of things right.

[–]priusowner66610 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

They were a boyfriend/girlfriend who entered couples' therapy after dating for 1 year??? Okey dokey.

[–]1cover20[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

She was pushing the sale. Hard.

[–][deleted] 51 points51 points | Copy

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[–]1Ill_mumble_that13 points14 points  (3 children) | Copy

Regarding your bolded text.

It is his fault. As a man the blame will always fall on you. Women are water that's will take the shape of whatever container they fill. If your frame is shit, your woman will act shitty. If your girl is boring its because you are boring. If your girl is fat its because you solo it. If your girl practices feminism it's because you're too big of a pussy. If your girl doesn't respect you its because you don't respect yourself. If your girl cheats on you its because you didn't maintain attraction and SMV. If your girl becomes an alcoholic its because you don't punish her for bad habits.

As a man when you marry a girl or engage in an LTR you become her figurative father. You are responsible for your shit AND her shit. She's just a mature teenager. She can't be held responsible for anything in the relationship unless you set boundaries and consequences then put your foot up her ass when she fucks up.

Do you know why feminism is so prominent in the US? It's because the men here are the biggest ratio of complacent beta pushovers.

[–]AgentSmith275 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I don't really think this is true at all. In fact I think its the opposite.

People in general will do what they want unless you put pressure on them not to. Some people require far more pressure than others, while others give in with very little fight.

Even if you do get a chance to "mold the shape" of a person on the outside, its very hard to change what is actually underneath the surface... and what's underneath will eventually become dominant again. You'll also have a hell of a hard time making a lazy person work hard, or make a boring person funny.

You can't change people. Most of the time, you'll meet someone with 20-30 years of experiences that will influence everything they do. It takes a lot to be able to change that.

[–]1Snivellious2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

What a fucking head-case. She talks about allowing him to continue having feelings she doesn't approve of. She makes a subtle reference to years spent drinking, partying, and fucking random guys, and then latched onto Phillip because he had an apartment and good job.

He's just lucky he had a bit more spine than she bargained for, because this screams "if not now, then five years after they had a kid". He gets to keep his shit and avoid lawyer fees for this bitch.

[–]1iluminatiNYC4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

You got it right. She didn't realize that she wasn't good enough to be his wife, and should have taken the L. However she insisted into trying to force a commitment. Dude probably cried because he knew good and we'll he'd been played. It's not the way I would have pulled it off, it you can't knock the effect. She got kicked to the curb either way.

[–]Tom_The_Human0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I would find it hilarious, that she skipped "maybe it's something wrong with me that stops him from wanting to commit" and went to straight to "it's his fault! He's afraid of committing," (I'd be surprised if there was an absence of shaming here) if NAWALT - but, sadly, I see this occurring way too often.

[–]1cover20[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The thing that was wrong with her was unfixable, she had had too many other dicks. At least that's how I read it.

So she can't go there, instead self-justifies aggressively and shames to try to force the sale nevertheless. (I am short and so that hurts me in some ways, I can't fix it, so I try what I can to get what I want regardless. While having those dicks was her choice and thus she's worthy of shaming for it, nevertheless it's a normal reaction to something that hurts you that you can never change.) We have a whole generation of women who are demanding that men overlook their sexual indiscretions and riding of the carousel, and a good part of TRP and also MGTOW is those men realizing what's up and declining to overlook it.

[–]1cover20[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I feel (see I am exposing my emotions here, on trp) that it is mostly her fault. She is certainly full of fault. It's mostly usual female hamstering, which i despise (see I despise things too.)

I just really wanted the one thing I quoted in OP, as described in OP and the thread title. The rest of the article didn't seem especially noteworthy, just the same old same old.

[–]TRP VanguardCyralea8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

I hope no one missed the obvious red flag, that she was a drug-abusing slut looking to lock down a provider once she hit the wall. To all the people wondering what's wrong with dating a slut, here is the answer. They are all like this.

Sluts have their mental chemistry changed, the same with that someone coming back from the front-lines is changed. They can't love and pair-bond the same way as more chaste girls do.

[–]1cover20[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes. They have defeated their oxytocin-based bonding mechanism, by breaking those bonds that were meant to endure at least through child bearing and early childhood, many times.

They will always be "flight risks" in the words of a bail hearing. Maybe we should demand huge dowries of such women.

[–]visibleinvisible8 points9 points  (5 children) | Copy

This is a valuable tool. If you wish to end things, but do not wish the other party to be resentful or vindictive, you can use fake/real tears to drain the venom from the wound. Rarely are those we hold in contempt targets of vengeance. What good is the final word, if you must pay too high a price for it?

Pride is meaningless; identity is all.

[–]MagicGainbow7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

I have found this to be pretty useful in the past, nothing gets rid of a clinger like some raw emotion.

[–]1cover20[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

I used to do that (self-deprecate to protect others' feelings, etc.) Now after taking the pill, I don't. Maybe I am just giving less of a fuck about other people; their problems are their problems.

[–]visibleinvisible1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I think that protecting the feelings of others is a good goal... no need to be needlessly brusque or ruthless. That said, I would not suggest emotional genuflection without purpose. In the course of a break-up anger can lead to vengeance, and hell hath no fury etc.

If one can drain the wound, all the better. Hate is a waste of energy.


[–]1cover20[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Hate indeed is a waste of energy. Maybe you misunderstood me, although I think the words I wrote were clear.

I don't hate. I just have less interest. And that conserves energy because I don't get spun up in other people's scenarios and used for comfort.

As for "hell hath no fury", I've defeated the bitchiest of the bitchiest. I have no fear, and if it comes to that, I play to win and am ruthless if I have to be. I don't tell them I am now playing to win, I just do it. Empathize, don't sympathize.

There are plenty of situations deserving of sympathy in this world. The romantic relationships you have in this world are not those.

[–]visibleinvisible0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well said. I misconveyed myself... I meant hate in the female. If she seeks vengeance, then it may also waste the energy of the target of her vengeance.

[–]1TVTestPattern9 points10 points  (4 children) | Copy

Can confirm... would not recommend. I have personally experienced this many times.

Women are disgusted by displays of weakness.

So I'm having a massive heart attack... I am literally dying right in front of her. It's incredibly painful and scary of course. The look of disgust on her face is etched into my memory. Beginning of the end... nothing else mattered. In the end she got our government to seize my assets forever and she was gone like the wind.

Not. Even. Once. Gentlemen.

[–]Disillusi0n2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Wait, you were literally having a heart attack and she was disgusted with you?

That's incredible.

[–]1TVTestPattern3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Oh yes... No just disgust... Anger even.

[–]DexterousRichard2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I was in and out of the hospital at one time thinking I might have a brain tumor because of some very scary episodes. MRIs, etc. My wife was a complete asshole because she was pissed about other things. Same deal as the other poster.

Luckily I didn't have a brain tumor. But my eyes were opened to the absolute soullessness of women.

If the tables were turned, she would completely fail to recognize the irony. Completely.

[–]1cover20[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Glad you're still with us bro. I know what you mean though.

My parents died suddenly. I was shocked and in a state of numbness, but I had to immediately travel to their city and straighten out their affairs. Wife gave me no help while I was in this impaired state, didn't provide any emotional support, and afterwards she's been a worse wife.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

Crying makes you look weak and women hate weakness. When I was younger I remember how girls who friendzoned me talked how sensitive and emotional I was and how great it was but I was always just a friend to them who just didnt have "it". Those girls fell for men who seemed to be selfcentered jerks that hid their feelings. Now that I have swallowed the trp one woman told me how strong I was and how nothing seemed to bother me and how great that was. Actually I have had woman who left me come back after I got pissed at her and didnt care that she had left me. It was like she started second guessing her choice after I didnt seem to be effected that she left me.

[–]1cover20[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Isn't that fun, having women say "you've changed" and becoming open to the new you where they were closed to you before?

The usual advice is "pump and dump" but I just enjoy the change in the balance of power. When a woman is open to you, she actually can be a good friend.

[–]jamieoneal8222 points23 points  (36 children) | Copy

She knew he was a week beta deep down inside, but this is when it dawned on her consciously.

[–]1cover20[S] 47 points48 points  (35 children) | Copy

I respectfully disagree.

Up to the end, what he did seemed indistinguishable from playing her for time to get more sex, but never intending to commit. She felt terrible breaking up with that guy.

When he admitted that he had a weakness and wasn't really a total asshole, she immediately was "cured" of giving a shit about him.

[–][deleted] 27 points28 points  (26 children) | Copy

The worst part is, they give you shit for not letting them see your "emotional side".

[–]blazingcopper24 points25 points  (4 children) | Copy

Simple: that's a shit test.

[–]real-boethius10 points11 points  (3 children) | Copy

I think there is a little more to it than this. In the female world, intimacy is currency. "He/She tells me everything" is like a guy benching 200kg. So what women do it trade intimacy, most of which is phony.

The trick is to show feelings in a way that does not make you look weak or like someone they cannot depend on.

Subtle hints of how you feel, those brief moments of fleeting emotion, etc.

[–]1cover20[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

In the female world, intimacy is currency.

A great insight that I would upvote 10 times if I could. We don't talk enough about such things, understanding what's going on in women's heads, in their worlds. Not to be more caring, but simply to know, to be more strategic. Empathy without necessarily sympathy. Otherwise you're playing chess without knowing what moves the opponent made and trying to rely on memorized openings that supposedly work no matter what she plays.

And this is super fun when you realize that she has no clue about your world. It's part of why women seem uncaring. They don't even know what you're going through. (But only part -- they are also self centered and don't care, other than the power or "currency" it gives them.)

[–]FugitiveAlpha2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

The trick is to show feelings in a way that does not make you look weak or like someone they cannot depend on.

Essentially this all the way. You need to show "emotion" in a way that she wants to see it from you.

One of my LTR's lived for the times where "i opened my entire heart for her to see", which is amusing considering what she was referring to:

I would touch/stroke her face very gently and just look into her eyes. I'm sure it was a loving look, because i had a bit of oneitus for her at the time, but it wasn't like i was feeling some sort of way at that moment.

She would talk about this all the time too. How i was so big and yet so gentile for her (and apparently only her, as if i beat my dogs, mom, and other loved ones). So much hamstering went on about the deeper meaning of touching her face, when the reality was "i knew they liked that shit so i did it"

Edit: punctuation makes a big difference sometimes.

[–]cashmoney_x0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Almost everything they want/care about boils down to making them feel special.

[–]CloakedOrchid37 points38 points  (18 children) | Copy

As a very emotional guy (I'll cry from books, movies, even a sad commercial), this really rubs me the wrong way. So many reddit posts and so much advice from girls I know talking about how "rare" and "great" it is to see a man open up, only to see obvious evidence to the contrary from examples like this.

If you wanted men to open up, you shouldn't have punished them for it. Like Dave Chappelle said, "Chivalry is dead, and women killed it."

[–][deleted] 23 points23 points | Copy

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[–]GC0W309 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

When we say AWALT we don't mean ugly ass girls with facial hair and cleft lips.

When a 3 sees a male 1 with Beta Bucks, she may very well game his ass like a 10 gaming a 6. Maybe none of your friends are ugly, but I've seen guys with medium looks who wash dishes at Olive Garden have their meager wallets cleaned out by torturous bitches with hairy upper lips...

[–]fapuffin1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I kind of agree, but what do you make of that Robin Thick "Paula" album? Seems like he went too beta and all of his core fans (Women) rejected him.

The album served as a tribute to his estranged wife Paula Patton. The album was supported by the single "Get Her Back". The album debuted at number nine on the Billboard 200 chart, with first-week sales of 24,000 copies in the United States.[22] In its second week, the album dropped down 32 spots to number 41, selling 6,000 copies, bringing its total album sales to 30,000.[23] In the UK, Paula debuted at number 200 on the UK Albums Chart, selling 530 copies in its first week.[24] The album debuted at number 207 on ARIA's album chart, having sold 158 copies in Australia that week.[4][5] The album sold 550 copies in its first week in Canada.[3]

[–]1cover20[S] 14 points15 points  (7 children) | Copy

Chivalry is dead because we are not Knights of the Round Table from 1000 years ago. Why would one expect that behavior, done by protectors of the king's court (effectively super cops when they weren't being soldiers, with weapons nobody else had and a great salary) to apply to guys just trying to get along in today's mixed up world?

[–]1CaptainFalconer5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

Chivalry is dead because a rich lord isn't pimping out his daughters virginity, sexual monopoly, eventual Lordship and huge piles of dowry money anymore.

Chivalry was for impressing the father.

First off, that's fucked up.

Second off, Chivalry without any weird medieval scenario like that is still a fucked up concept.

[–]1Ill_mumble_that5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

It used to be that when you married a girl you were in a way marrying the father. If you failed to live up to your vows he would be the one to enforce it. Nowadays you are marrying the government which simply gives her half your shit and then some.

[–]DexterousRichard0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Chivalry is like being kind and helpful to a child. It only makes sense when men are in a position of absolute and unquestioned and accepted superiority.

From that position, it is only fair to be kind and polite to women. They are our little flowers, nothing more. That's where chivalry makes sense.

And it they ever acted like a bitch in those days, Jesus Christ, good luck on the local whore circuit making enough for some bread and porridge.

[–]1cover20[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, that was imitation chivalry that indeed was expected up until very recently. When families still had control of their daughters, they could have such standards.

We now have Empowered Womynz and that shit don't work any more, now you gotta game them.

[–]1Snivellious0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

This is it. In addition to circumstances changing, manliness has changed. The king's enforcers were "real men" just by their job, no questions asked. I suspect that a stunt man/astronaut/MMA fighter badass today could get away with crying fairly well too. If your masculinity is beyond question, the rules start to change.

[–]football10100 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

If your masculinity is beyond question, the rules start to change

I have not seen any evidence to suggest this conclusion.

[–]1Snivellious0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm theorizing, but bear in mind: do you know anyone whose masculinity is beyond question? In the modern world it's exceedingly hard to find. I wasn't listing three manly careers but hypothesizing a superman who does all three at once.

The people I would hold up as examples are extremely high-status for manly things. Dave Grohl is frequently a sweet, mild-mannered "nice guy". He's also a super-famous musician in masculine bands, looks very masculine, and practices a lot of "acceptable" emotion by directing it at his children. It's my impression that he can get away with saying something sappy or showing emotion (not outright weakness, just emotion) because his role is so fixed that people don't question or try to erode it.

In short, I'm not saying that manly careers excuse emotion. I'm proposing that male emotion is accepted in relationships (social, not strictly romantic) where masculine status is beyond doubt.

[–]1Snivellious1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

In my experience this is really a request for guys who can access their feelings. They still want you to be carved from stone, but you're even more appealing if you can get to an emotional side to write a song or look sad when they talk about their problems. It's not women wanting men to be emotional, it's about wanting to uncork that bit of softness when it's convenient for women.

It's part of why ideals like chivalry and bushido are shot to hell these days - being "soft" was fine for guys who proved their masculinity by risking their lives at war. In our society most people don't have incontrovertible proof of their manliness, so they can't get away with being emotional.

[–]CloakedOrchid1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Ah, okay, so softness/emotion as a counterpart to undeniable masculinity (which few of us can claim to have nowadays).

Damn, that's really interesting, especially when you consider that nothing is "purely" masculine anymore, at least that I can think of. Joining the army doesn't make you a knight, athletes are "dumb," bodybuilders are "gay," celebrities are "arrogant," etc. Any position or occupation requires proving and reproving that you're a man like you say you are.

And after that, it makes sense to not have too much time to write a sad poem or whatnot. Except for the musicians, artists, and poets, of which there are few.

[–]1Snivellious2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'm moving into theory here, but I think you're getting at why we hear "There are no emotional men anymore" instead of simply "You should be more emotional".

Anything which has been a purely masculine domain has fallen under pressure from feminism and social correctness. The result is that there's almost no space to be proudly and unambiguously masculine anymore (most people can't be Dave Grohl or Steve Irwin).

As you say, it's possible to be masculine, but you have to constantly prove it. Without that badge of masculinity, any time spent being "soft" calls your status as a man into question.

Women (and more recently men) keep pushing against spheres of maleness as exclusive and frightening to them. What isn't obvious to them is that getting rid of credentials means that they can't identify a man at a glance. Men do know this, and see that the incentive is to be masculine all the time to never give a "weak" impression. As a result, men have trouble feeling complete and accepting feelings, and the world loses the products of emotion and softness backed by maleness.

I'm spitballing, but what you said makes a huge amount of sense to me. We don't see the likes of Lord Byron anymore because women can't trust that he's a true man behind the emotion.

[–]2Occams_Shiv1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think you are really on to something here. Think about all the time samurai dedicated to poetry and flower arranging. That was quite explicitly to balance out all the bloody sword fighting.

[–]1kick61 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Welcome to the desert of the real world, bro.

[–]1Ill_mumble_that2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

They say they want to see your emotional side right away so that they can NEXT you without having to waste any time.

[–]1cover20[S] 24 points25 points  (6 children) | Copy

So this reinforces the hard-to-believe theory I read on heartiste.

If a woman sees an asshole, she believes she can make him stop being an asshole and fall for HER, because she's better than those other women. She gets very attached. He's her project.

If a woman sees a man with a weakness, she despises him.

[–]Senior ContributorSkorchZang2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

The best part is how she cannot help but despise the man showing weakness. She's going to hamster it like crazy if need be, using such femtropes as "I don't know what I want" and "I need to find myself again", throwing this like a veil over the truth which is just "I despise you for being weak."

She can't come out and say it, that would mean she's the bad one!

She is the bad one, but always wants to stay looking good.

[–]1Snivellious1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Thank you! I never understood this theory even though I'd seen it a dozen times. You added the missing piece: "because she's better than those other women".

It never made sense that women would choose assholes as projects instead of just choosing a nicer guy - most people buy intact houses, not fixer-uppers. It makes total sense when it's about status and validation, not just about him. The point isn't just to have a guy who likes her, it's to prove that she's more likable than the others.

[–]FugitiveAlpha1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Right, her love will change him. And thus proving her value for all to see. Where those other bitches failed, her "magical perfectness" will succeed, or so sayeth the hamster.

[–]1Snivellious1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This also explains another thing I didn't get: why the goal is to create someone she's not interested in (see: http://www.theonion.com/articles/girlfriend-changes-man-into-someone-shes-not-inter,1507/)

Even hamstering didn't seem to explain how incredibly maladaptive it is to turn what you like into what you don't. As a status thing though? It makes total sense. Take a guy, tame him, fancy him up, and everyone can see that you're powerful and desirable. As for the guy, walk the hell away and go on to something new.

[–]2Occams_Shiv1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Think about the people that do buy fixer-upper houses. They usually imagine themselves to be smarter and more resourceful than average. It's an ego play. The house almost always humbles them in the end.

[–]1cover20[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I don't think she cares about being more likeable. Just more powerful, more feminine, basically better in a competitive sense. This is how women compete with each other, through their men. Men are central to women's relationships with each other.

Let that sink in and maybe you'll never again feel that women have hand. You want them. They need you. But their need isn't for a nice guy. That's what you might think their need is, and that might be the rational need of a woman emerging from the carousel and looking to settle for a provider beta. But that's not their emotional imperative, that's not their real desire.

[–]sagacioussage0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Up to the end, what he did seemed indistinguishable from playing her for time to get more sex

He went to couple's counseling for four months because she wanted more commitment from him. Is that not the epitome of beta-ness?

[–]AnotherPint2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Be extremely cautious about a woman's claim that she wants you to share your genuine feelings. That's a Cosmo talking point but in real life a threat to her security. If you even hint at male fears and vulnerabilities there's a fair chance she'll backpedal and look for the exit. Believe me.

[–][deleted] 3 points3 points | Copy

[permanently deleted]

[–]infininme2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Care about people's approval and you will be their prisoner

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

---"I am a woman after all. A feminist rebel drug addict, but a woman."

Goddammit. Nice guy with Phillip with your stable job and own apartment, you're fucked.

[–]Spiderman48 2 points2 points [recovered] | Copy

My first breakup in my younger teens was a melt down. I was begging her not to leave me, then i went and badmouthed her to her friends, then I begged some more. It was awful.

I've found (through 2 other breakups that occured after that) that the stoic, short and sweet approach to a breakup is the best.

[–]1cover20[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

The badmouthing to her friends can be a good approach if done strategically.

That's what women do when they have initiated a divorce or breakup. Scorched earth. Learn from them.

See, I respect the power of women and do my best to learn from them. What feminist could complain? Actually I have little problem with feminists, even on /r/relationships or thoughtcatalog or other places I run into them, because they really can't disagree with my logic, and being women they honestly know how twisted women are, and they hate other women too. So there's even some recognition that I am saying true things.

Occasionally you'll get a shallow bitch that just tries shaming, and then you just laugh at them.

[–]1kick61 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Prior to this, she was devastated he wanted to leave her. Once he shared his feelings, she dried up and felt superior.

Translation, she was devastated that she was losing a man of superior SMV. After watching him crumble into a low-SMV bitch in front of her eyes, it suddenly wasn't a problem losing him anymore.

This is how all relationships end. A woman won't leave until AFTER she's torn you down to the point that you no longer satisfy her hypergamy. That's assuming you aren't such a phaggot that you do it to yourself.

So what's the fix? Continue to game your woman. Continue to hold frame, continue to be the high SMV guy she thought you were at the beginning. PASS HER SHIT TESTS. Because every time you don't, you get one step closer to the point where you dip below her in SMV, and her lizard-brain programming allows her to walk away with no fucks given.

[–]1cover20[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Seen this way, it makes you give less of a fuck about her doesn't it. Stuff her shit tests back in her face (which I guess is actually passing them) because they, and she, are beneath you.

Women do their best to be despicable. You pass if you despise what is despicable. Pretty simple really. Almost the only way to fail is to try to be nice. Or maybe it's really the only way to fail.

[–]bongwaterblack1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

The concluding paragraphs sum this up nicely.

When Philip called me to meet for coffee, I was blind-sided. However, I was more prepared to see him then I realized. I had spent those three months doing an overhaul on my self esteem. I made it quite clear that there was no room for ambiguity. I wanted to be in a relationship with someone who could talk about the future and not freak out. I told him unless he was serious about getting back together with me, not to contact me again.

One week later, he called and asked if I would move in and give it another try. That was almost two years ago. We are doing better than ever, but we never forget the “dark times” as we fondly call it. Without Janice and that brick wall, who knows where we'd be today.

TR;DL dude lost his frame by crying like a bitch in couples therapy, effectively throwing his frame into the dumpster fire that his life was about to become, and then signed himself up as beta bux.

Edit - grammar/spelling

[–]1cover20[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I suspect this last part was added to give an empowering "you go girl" flavor to the story. I have real doubts about whether it's true. Women love to make themselves look like winners.

This guy did a lot of things right, I can hardly believe he betaed it up this bad later. Usually, once a man embarks on the Path of the Red Pill, he doesn't look back. Truth has that sort of effect, you can't unlearn it.

[–]magicalbird1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Once he shared his negative, vulnerable, teary-eyed feelings, she dried up

+1 had this happen

[–]rp_manifesto1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Its when they expect me to cry about something that they really learn how heartless I am.

I didnt even cry in front of my GF when my mother died. I just stared out the window for like 30 seconds then went about my day.

[–]jasonjilly1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

TBH, I think it depends on the girl and again the frame you hold. I've cried in front of ex girlfriend. I cried when I told her about me cheating on her. I cried when broke up with her. It was my honest feelings. I've always been a man in her eyes. Crying isn't a bad thing, it's even led to some of the most emotional sex I've ever had. You can't keep suppressing your feelings. I even told her, that I don't give a fuck if I cry, I don't care if she thinks I'm a pussy for crying. I cry to let my emotions out. What's wrong with that? After you done crying, hold her in your arms, and fuck her good. BTW I still get horny text messages from her and bootycalls occasionally.

I've seen some of the most Redpill men, like my dad cry when his mom and dad died. Showing your weak side ain't bad. It shows your a human too. Girls like assholes with a golden heart. You can't always be mr. macho. If her pussy dries up b/c she saw you cry, then you need to next the bitch.

I feel like the best relationships for me are a mix of 70% redpill and 30% bluepill. You give 30% and get 70%

"I was a drunk and drug addict for years. I loved to party and only dated people that were as unmanageable as I was. For so long these traditional things never had much appeal. But then I got sober, and saw that my life had much more to offer." party girl, drunk and drug addict>> NEXT anyone?

"For the first time in my life, I saw that a relationship had the potential to be a real partnership. I wanted to talk about moving in, and marriage, and kids, not because it was expected, but because I could see it with this person. And that was terrifying." She wants to settle.

"My usual break up exercise was to date and have sex as much as possible, but this break up felt different." ......... "One week later, he called and asked if I would move in and give it another try. That was almost two years ago. We are doing better than ever, but we never forget the “dark times” as we fondly call it. Without Janice and that brick wall, who knows where we'd be today. " DAFUQ? Did she get him to turn into beta bux?

[–]skinnysandvs18 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy

There's a difference between crying over a replaceable woman who doesn't want you and crying over your fucking parents dying. You can't even compare the two

[–]1cover20[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah but you were a sociopath. You cried about cheating on her, not about her cheating on you. She was more attracted by your aggressive sociopathic activity.

Indeed this girl was seeking betabux and was worthy of pump and dump treatment. I assumed the guy was spinning her as a plate, or at least avoiding binding commitment for that reason. And she was OK with it, she was attracted.

Sometimes coming across as at least partial betabux can help build comfort. He was doing that well.

In the article at the end, it smells like a false ending to be "empowering" for the female audience. Not only empowering, but being proud in front of the other women. Female posture talk to other women.

[–]DaftMythic1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

You know, I've been in a LTR for like 3 years (that is really screwed up by the way, I only can guess what TRP would have to say about the whole thing)

But only point permanent to this is that she cries quite a bit. We have been through tons of shit. Even though often it is real, sometimes it seems calculating and I get the feeling crying (for her, and maybe all women) is an emotional leveler and defense mechanism, to get you to be on their level. So, Even though I am usually quite emotional and can cry at the drop of a hat in movies in stuff, I have never cried in front of her. Ever.

Except once:

Last Christmas time I found out my dog had died (I was living over seas to be with her so I learned over the phone). I loved that dog. I tried to hold it in as we were driving around to do some errands but I couldn't help tear up. She wanted to know what was wrong. I told her my dog died.

She was very compassionate. She didn't say it but was also like "why don't you do that for me?"

The answer (never directly stated) is - I will, if you are faithful and good to me and deserving of love I will mourn your loss.

Other than that, never mourn the living. In a breakup, you are alive and so is she. No one deserves tears.

[–]1cover20[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lately my wife screams because one of my sons isn't letting her use our ipad.

Yes. It sounds like a murder is going on, but instead it's a disagreement over the ipad.

I sure hope nothing serious happens because I would be unable to tell the difference. Boy that cried wolf and all that.

[–]spalple0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

sometimes this will happen.

Personally, I accept the risk of what happens if I show my emotions in a relationship. I choose to do so anyway.

When you have an emotional issue, you can only bury it for so long.....it gets buried deeper and deeper, starts to come out in the form of undirected rage and anxiety. It will come out. You cannot keep it down forever. You may think the opposite, but burying your emotions for later is not manly. It's childish. It's literally running away from your problems and choosing to avoid confrontation.

Could it end in your woman ending your relationship? Absolutely it can. But it's what a goddamn man does. A man does things that carry risk for him. So many hide their emotions behind a stoic mask, and you know why? They are afraid that their true self will be rejected. It's a legitimate fear. But you will have to take it head-on. Eventually every relationship will progress to a point where you are forced to show your hand, throw all your cards on the table and say "This is who I am. Take me or leave me." The point is not to not be afraid of what will happen. Of course you will. You're a human being. The point is to have courage; to go forth and accept the consequences, even though you are afraid. This is the mark of a courageous man.

I have seen firsthand what may happen when you choose to show your emotions to your significant other, but you know what? It is worth the price to me. I don't have to live behind a mask where I am a stoic, unfeeling macho man 100 percent of the time. Because I'm not. Who among us is? It is a very freeing feeling, really. I get to hide nothing. I don't feel like I am constantly keeping some ugly secret hidden. I show my hand. Sometimes it gets accepted, sometimes not. Often not, actually. But don't pretend you're being masculine for hiding your true feelings- you are just preventing yourself from having to experience rejection. And that is childish.

[–]1cover20[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

But it's what a goddamn man does.

Sorry I guess that I don't live up to your standards for a goddamn man. (Do you try to "man up" too?) Good thing is, I don't care about your standards. Why should I do things that are known not to work, and would even reduce my wife's enjoyment?

[–]chainlinks0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I was a drunk and drug addict for years. I loved to party and only dated people that were as unmanageable as I was. For so long these traditional things never had much appeal. But then I got sober, and saw that my life had much more to offer.

Hmm I wonder why he didn't want to commit to her? I had to stop reading there. The hamster is strong with this one.

[–]james_fapfield 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

That's harsh man.

If you can't share your feeling with your SO, who are you going to talk to if you feel down?

[–]FugitiveAlpha2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy

Your male friends or your dog, NEVER share your feelings with a woman your sexually interested in.

[–]Polite_Insults1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Well fuck people like that. You can find someone who gives a shit.

[–]FugitiveAlpha1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Lol, the only woman that will ever love YOU for you, is your mom. Any other woman that uses that word with you loves how you make them feel and/or what you do for/to them. That's not to say "you won't get love from a woman" but it's different, you have to accept it and work with it. If you want to let your emotions out to a woman, then its mom, if you want someone your age, then its your male friends. As soon as you show weakness to a woman it changes how she feels about you.

Compound that with your alphaness is like her sexiness. You being a pussy, even for a short while to her, is like her getting FAT is to you. Except she loves how you make her feel, and that pussy doesn't make her feel that way, so shes gone. You, perhaps, love her, so you give her time to lose the weight (or you dont)

It it what it is, work with it, or dont. But no matter what you do, it wont be something that it is not. I know i spent far too much time in denial, NAWALT and other such stupidity coming out of my mouth (because i wanted it to be true)... didn't change the fact that AWALT is the honest truth.

[–]Polite_Insults0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I can see where you're coming from. I can really see how that all fits into a lot of women I know and a lot of women I don't. But I can't comment on how to act around them until I get into each situation with them.

The idea of them conforming to set of rules, perhaps instinctual or perhaps it's something they all agree on is alien to me. To think that people could conform in one way or another when even down to our fingertips each person is unique? I think I'd have to meet A LOT of shitheads before I change my perception on how to interact with women.

However you are correct on one point. The less weakness she sees the better. I just didn't realise that you have to keep it up forever...

[–]1cover20[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You're still trying to fight the truth.

The truth is that in some ways women are unique, but in many very important ways, they are not. Yes there may be unicorns. I am not sure I have ever met one, though. And I am not young.

[–]Polite_Insults0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

So just accept this is how it is? I don't think I can. I can carry the idea around with me and every time I come across someone I can try to fit them into the hole but I'm not going to stick a label on any size group of people until I experience this for myself.

[–]1cover20[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Welcome to Red Pill. Yes we are serious. Learn and enjoy.

[–]mizzoufan1990-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think even anger at the end of a relationship is bad. It shows her you care about losing her, and if you're upset about losing her then she must be superior to you (woman thought). If you have to show ANY emotion at all, be really condescending. Nothing upsets/leaves a woman needing validation more than saying something like "You have a lot to learn" in the calmest voice possible.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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