I've desperately wanted a GF my whole life but honestly sex has been less of a concern for me than being accepted, appreciated, cared for, and maybe even loved. Now that I know that's all bullshit I feel lost and beyond that I fear I'm broken.

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June 13, 2015


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Title I've desperately wanted a GF my whole life but honestly sex has been less of a concern for me than being accepted, appreciated, cared for, and maybe even loved. Now that I know that's all bullshit I feel lost and beyond that I fear I'm broken.
Upvotes 64
Comments 44
Date 13 June 2015 09:32 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/190155
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/39ovi6/ive_desperately_wanted_a_gf_my_whole_life_but/
Similar Posts

[–]santander2660 points61 points  (3 children) | Copy

OK. First, cut this bullshit thoughts, change your mindset. "Why did everyone lie to me?", Why did these things happened to me? etc.

*1- Start lifting. Everywhere in Redpill, people say "Go lift bro". I could not understand first. But after i started, i have seen that your life is changing. Lifting is great. START NOW.

*2- Start reading. There are some TRP beginner classics such as No More Mr Nice Guy and Models. Start with No More... book.

*3- Stop crying. When i read this post, i did not enjoy. Because a MAN is crying, bitching and complaning. IN REAL WORLD, nobody cares you man. If you complain, there are no girls. ACT LIKE A MAN.

*4- Stop running away. "I am different, too emotional, not adaptable for this <world of lies<". If this is your mindset, eventually you will run away in different forms like PORN, VIDEO GAME, OVEREATING etc.

[–]Senior EndorsedCopperFox3c21 points22 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yep, some "tough love" advice. It's important to understand why we advocate this too though. Pook said it best:

“The difference is simple,” said the Pook. “The first young man is facing TOWARDS infancy. The second young man is facing AWAY from infancy. The first one wishes to climb back into the womb; the second one wants to fly from it. The first wishes a cushioned place in the world while the second one leaves the cushions behind. The first one is ordinary; the second one is extraordinary. Thus, the second one becomes the Great Catch while the first one merely becomes a filler of a void.

Read this

[–]charlesbukowksi5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Book of Pook is excellent I'd second OP checking it out.

[–]rporion2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

*1- Start lifting. Everywhere in Redpill, people say "Go lift bro". I could not understand first. But after i started, i have seen that your life is changing. Lifting is great. START NOW.

Squats and milk bra, squats and milk, the weight always tells you the truth..

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen43 points44 points  (8 children) | Copy

Dis gon be long...

Everybody wants to feel connected. After all it's a pretty lonely place in our heads and feeling connected also helps to cope with the fact that ultimately we really are alone in there, at least if you are mentally healthy.

There have been enough studies and examples of people's sanity dramatically decreasing under isolation and babies can even die if they are not given affection, although it's made sure that their physical needs is taken care of.

However you have to accept that you have been looking for the wrong kind of connection up to now. Not wrong in the way that you cannot be able to connect with a woman, but wrong because you are looking for a connection based on the wrong assumptions, premises and goals.

Although we preach that women are machiavellian beings by nature and that their loyalty is never assured unconditionally, that doesn't mean that they are all treacherous snakes who are just waiting for the right moment to put a knife in your back. Just because they do not love unconditionally does not mean that they do experience love at all.

The world also isn't black and white, and AWALT does not mean that all women will execute the exact same program in a given situation. After all women are people. If it was that easy, we wouldn't need to discuss anything, but could just point to a manual and some flowcharts and everything would just work out fine.

I felt like you for nearly all my life - 35 years. I even had a relationhip with my "dreeam woman", who I felt deeply connected to. The fall couldn't have been deeper and the waking not more cruel. My level of alcohol abuse reached unkonown levels and became depressive up to a point where I stopped grooming myself and was on the verge of becoming homeless.

Funilly enough it was another female which showed me that I was wrong all the time in looking to become happy by finding somebody who will make me feel better because that somebody cared for me.

It is my daughter from the relationship with that woman, and she made me realize that it makes me much more happy to be the one who is taking care of somebody, providing her guidance and the feeling of being protected and safe, and that I understand and love her.

As a male it is your purpose to be the protector and not the protégée. You subconsiously thrive and crave to be needed and to become the protector of others and that's what you experience as the urge to feel connected.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

Was worth the read!

[–]MiguelForte6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

I just read it too and I'm new here. I'm still mindblown by the amount of info there is in how to become better and it makes me really happy.

[–]RPmatrix5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

welcome to TRP bro, good to see you've already gained something from it!

[–]RPmatrix4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

The world also isn't black and white, and AWALT does not mean that all women will execute the exact same program in a given situation. After all women are people. If it was that easy, we wouldn't need to discuss anything, but could just point to a manual and some flowcharts and everything would just work out fine.

Great analogy for AWALT, I'm going to be using this thanks bro!

It is my daughter from the relationship with that woman, and she made me realize that it makes me much more happy to be the one who is taking care of somebody, providing her guidance and the feeling of being protected and safe, and that I understand and love her

I agree that human's can get a LOT of happiness by selflessly helping others, you'd be surprised how good it can make you feel -- maybe not quite like helping your own child be fine, would, but you'll fell much better, even pretty good nonetheless if you do little things for no other reason than you can! IMHO

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I agree that human's can get a LOT of happiness by selflessly helping others, you'd be surprised how good it can make you feel -- maybe not quite like helping your own child be fine, would, but you'll fell much better, even pretty good nonetheless if you do little things for no other reason than you can! IMHO

Actually I live quite like this. The difference to a Nice GuyTM is that I carefully think about if I want to help that person and why I'd want to. After everything I had to go through (and still am going through) I am still a firm believer in "What comes around, goes around."

Life might sometimes be easier if you always act strictly machiavellian, but it just isn't fun for me and I need to be able to look in the mirror and see a person whom I like.

It makes me happy to see other people take a chance I offer them and turn it into something good.

My style of leadership in the kitchen is that of a loving but strict patriarch. I try to constantly push my subordinates to get out of their comfort zone to discover their potential and it's really a satisfying feeling to see them succeed and develop.

That might be kind of a romantic approach, but it's the way I prefer and the way things go it seems to work just fine.

[–]RPmatrix0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Life might sometimes be easier if you always act strictly machiavellian, but it just isn't fun for me and I need to be able to look in the mirror and see a person whom I like.

It makes me happy to see other people take a chance I offer them and turn it into something good

me too, and it's good to hear for you too, matey

[–]RemyPrice1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Beautifully said. Well worth the read.

[–]let_terror_reign0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Preach it, bro. Great answer

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

I don't feel worthy of love and intimacy of any kind.

That, in my opinion, is the root cause of your problem.

You see, you don't feel worthy of love, which means you can't love yourself. So you are wishing desperately for someone else to come love you and prove you wrong. Seeking external validation like that as a prerequisite to self-love is horribly unhealthy and will lead you to a lifetime of misery and failed expectations. Even if you find someone who you believe loves you, your entire self esteem will be wrapped up in this person. This person will be critical of you at times, and your self esteem will come crashing down. That puts them completely in a dominating position over you with total control. And God forbid they leave you, crushing you completely! That's fucked up. Also, chances are that no one of any great worth will love such a dysfunctional person anyway, so you will be getting the bottom of the barrel as far as relationship options go. You don't want this.

What you NEED to do is overcome your horrible self image. You are a fucking powerful man who can accomplish anything. You don't need anyone's validation but your own. Lift, improve, and be proud of yourself. Learn to like who you are. If you love who you are, then everyone else can go fuck themselves. Conquer this attitude and the yearning to have someone else come validate you will diminish because you no longer need the validation. You will still want intimacy and companionship, but validation needn't be part of your needs.

Ironically, once you get to this place mentally, you will likely have many more romantic options. This is because people of high self worth are innately more attractive.

[–]RPmatrix5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

mate, I didn't even read all your post, becoz of what I'm going to say

what you don't know, as you've never done it, is that having sex with a girl who you like and she like you too, especially when it's good fun comfortable satisfying sex, somehow creates this invisible 'connection' with the person you've just fucked and it's like a drug, and it's something people keep coming back for as there's nothing quite like the connection you can make with a female via sex

That's why it used to be usually called "making love" as many people who had had sex had also experienced this strange 'bond' forming with 'their lover' ... the person the 'make love to' .. IMO sex is a very important part of a happy and successful LTR

btw as Girls tend to be more sensitive to this stuff and 'notice/feel' this 'connection' much more than guys, they also tend to 'suffer more' when it has been 'broken' and so IME it plays a part in whether they'll fuck a guy they really like BUT only IF they've got a good chance of getting into a relationship with him too, but if they think they'll get rejected and that would 'hurt them' too much, they'll possibly shy away until comforted their fears are unfounded.

Sex changes relationships completely, and you can "fuck up" friendships too! Fucking friends is often not such a good idea as it changes the relationships's dynamic Big time and things often go to shit, when they wouldn't have had no sex been involved! Girls intuitively know this far better than guys tend to ever even know it at all!"

[–]frequentlywrong3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I don't know what to do, I kind of want to die.

It takes months to digest the pill. Even if you are completely ready for it and did not go through an anger/depression stage. You can reshape and turn your life around. Plenty of time. The past is the past.

Why did everyone lie to me?

There is plenty of truth out there in the world, you just weren't paying attention.

[–]wont_tell_i_refuse5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dude TBH I'm like you and I just use Viagra to "force" it if I sense that things will be getting intimate. Women do not really tolerate guys who don't fuck them on the first date these days.

You sound like a "demisexual". I know TRP shits on concepts like that, but I'm similar to you and I've met a few other guys with these same thoughts so my sample size for the idea that it is is a legitimate orientation grows every so often.

[–]foomfoomfoom7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's the feeling of realizing no other woman will be your mother to you - nor does any other woman want to be.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Consider that your mindset is not healthy for a man.

We don't get loved like we can give love. I thought this too for a long time. I could always show women (that I was with) love but as soon as we were done, it was received as "creepy". If you read the sidebar and reflect on your experiences, you'll find that women cannot love like men can. You will never receive what you're expecting.

Men are not accepted. The more I am open with myself and I stop giving a shit about what people think, the more I am hated. Since beginning Seddit and even before I discovered the Red Pill, I was naturally progressing to the RP realizations. I noticed how friends with "beta" behaviors disproved of just about everything I did. Embrace the disapproval. If you're called an asshole, if you lose friends, consider these toxins leaving your body. It's painful, it hurts, you struggle alone. All of these things are what makes us men. Women don't endure this kind of pain and transcendence like we do and this is what will ultimately make you desirable because women will never reach the highest peak of personal growth like you will.

Lift and go monk mode for a while. Cut off these toxins in your life. Rediscover and rebuild yourself as a man. The sex will come in time.

[–]ikissedatoaster2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is gold.

I feel this is one of the most common gateways to TRP.

I wonder what blue pillers would tell you? Keep being yourself? You'll find the right one someday? You don't need to attract all women, just one right?

Another blue piller might condemn you, call you a misogynist contributor to rape culture, you neck beard faggot.

My advice for you: get mad, and put that energy into self improvement. Build yourself, and women will chase you. It's not too late, start now.

[–]RemyPrice2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You need to form a superficial connection with someone before you can form a deep one.

Sex is like a dance party. You dance with a lot of people until you find one you really click with.

Focus on sex and the rest will follow.

[–]RPmatrix2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

don't be too harsh on yourself bro, the fact you've realized this AND are here at TRP talking with us about it IS The day You Life has changed, whether you know it or not, but you hang in here with the bros here who will give you the best guidance they can, and I reckon in about 6-12 mths you'll be looking back on this post and having a laugh, whilst telling us "how well TRP ideology worked for you, once you got past the 'anger phase' -- and don't worry bro, It will pass in not too long!

[–]1anonlymouse2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I am afraid I may have a bigger problem, I don't really want to have sex right now.

Monk mode - do a search for it. Just focus on yourself and your wealth. Nobody has gotten rich chasing tail, but plenty have gotten tail chasing wealth.

[–]RiseAboveRuin2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your two biggest problems are self esteem and confidence. You have neither.

When I walk around out in public and I'm analyzing people, I'll see people with the shittiest outfits on and the nastiest hair cuts. That's the type of person they grew up to be, born out of the friendships they've made along the way with others.

I see these people and I think to myself; Man this dude could kill the ladies if he just hit the weights for a year or two, ate right, buzzed his head, and upgraded his wardrobe. I've been tempted to walk up to a few and tell them just that but I usually just let them continue living their lame ass lives. You stumbled upon a gold mine by coming to TRP. This place will change you for the better - if you allow it to. You need to start taking real steps now towards self improvement and limit how much you're reading, so that you don't experience paralysis by analysis.

Here are a few tips:

The gym is your daily dose of sanity. It's your temple. It's nothing but you and self improvement there. Staying committed to that and that alone will take you far in life.

Quit complaining. Quit feeling sorry for yourself. You think you have it bad in life? Go to Africa. That will humble you real quick. Nobody wants to hear someone complain. NOBODY. It doesn't serve to bring your status UP by complaining, but only DOWN.

Take responsibility for everything that happens to you in your life. Obviously there are things that may be out of your control like birth defects or your company going out of business but I guarantee you 9 times out of 10 you can always trace your problems back to you. Until you accept this you will never improve. Looking to blame others is not a sign of being a man, it's a sign of weakness and a sign that you're still a child.

[–]snaptogrid2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

The only woman who's ever going to love you unconditionally is (if you're lucky) your mother. That does not mean you can't have rewarding relationships with women who aren't your mom, from red-hot sex to deep soul connections. It does mean that you're a grownup now and you're playing with the adults. Leave your fantasies of finding a second mom behind and enter the grownup world with gusto. It's a little chilly out here, and there are a lot of bitter lessons to be learned. But there's a lot of fun and entertainment to be had too. You may even have something to offer the world. Figure out if you do, and then move it forward. And take the advice a lot of other guys here are giving you: work on yourself. Make sure you're getting a lot out of life completely independent of how you're doing with the ladies. And for god's sake, give up videogaming if that's something you're spending a lot of time on. It seems to be really character-eroding.

[–]CowardlyPetrov2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I like this "if you're lucky" thing. My mother was shit. And I look around and see shit mothers everywhere. I see so many people making excuses for their garbage mothers and I just think, "Can't you see how terrible she is to you?"

[–]NidStyles1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Video games really are detrimental to everyone I know that plays them. Like those kids lose themselves from reality and start believing in all sorts of nonsense. So glad I never had that stuff growing up.

[–]kjuca2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah I felt the same way most of my life. Then I discovered red pill and I thank fucking god every day of my life that I never got married or got a girl pregnant.

I've had two girlfriends. It's always great for the first few months, then you start to realize they are actual people and not perfect angels descended from heaven to bring meaning to your life. The bottom line is having a girlfriend will not in and of itself make you happy. If you take that approach then you're going down the path of becoming suicidal - especially if you do get a girlfriend and realize it didn't make your life perfect after all. That's my experience.

[–]1RPMahoutsukai2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

What? Okay man you're confused. It's all right. You can get out of this state. You will not be lost, you won't be broken, and you won't have anything to be affraid of.

Here's the thing:

You can be accepted, appreciated, cared for, and loved, by a woman. Yes you do. It will be harder to find a woman capable of that in the west, but you can. What you misinterpreted as "that's all bullshit" is the "unconditional" part and the atmosphere here at TRP, that, honestly, can feel quite misogynistic.

Let's first get the latter out of the way. A lot of people here are really too fond of themselves and think very little of women (or anyone else for that matter). You'll hear stuff like "no woman is worth your commitment", "every woman is a slut for a right kind of man", "every woman will go crazy and break up eventually" and so on. Don't let anything of sorts discourage you!

The reality is that AWALT does not mean there are no women suitable to become a proper mate. It is just that western society actively breaks and malforms women, so it's hard to find one that resisted that and retainted capabilities to pair bond and become a proper mate for a man.

So if you want to find a woman that can appreciate, accept, care and love, you'll have to do some heavy casting and screening and vetting.

With this out of the way, the main problem is the "unconditional" part. When you say "it's all bullshit" you probably refer to the RP knowledge that in reality, women are pragmatic, and love conditionally. A woman will not love you "just for who you are". Only your mother loves you unconditionally, ever. Your woman will love you conditionally, because who you are, because what you achieved and can achieve, because of how you make her feel.

Thing is, it's good that she's wired that way! Because of this, we as a society progress. Because if women would love unconditionally, then men would be demotivated! There would be no motivation to keep going, to keep achieving, to keep working, to keep doing stuff! You could just lay on the couch and eat and drink and watch football and fuck and just live your life like that after you've married. That would be horrible. Women are wired this way to push us to greater heights. It's good both for them and for you.

So understand this: you will be appreciated, loved, cared for, accepted, if you make effort to be the best man you want to be, and properly screen who you're entering in a relationship into.

First, work on yourself. Don't care about pussy before you seriously achieve something - get in good shape, get in good mentality, get a healthy lifestyle, proper job, plan out your life, financial freedom and such. In order to get what you want, you must also give what she wants. And she wants to be with the best man she can get her hands on. You'll have to provide that for her - with what you really are, with your lifestyle, and with your game. You have to be good, you have to get a clue, to understand what she needs from you for your relationship to function. You have to "internalise" TRP, as they say.

Then you can start thinking about women. If plates are not your thing (as it is for me), then don't do plates! Date women (one after another or as much as you have time for simultaneously) not in order to fuck them, but in order to find one that is capable of providing you with what you seek (more than sex). It might seem like "looking for a unicorn" but it isn't. Don't look for a woman that will love you unconditionally (that's never going to happen) - instead, look for one capable of loving a proper man, and providing a man with what he needs. Don't get oneitis for her though - even though she's going to be one in a million, always remember that if you found her, you'll always find another. There is no "one" and there is no "destined soulmate".

Best of luck to you.

[–]CowardlyPetrov0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good post.

[–]NinGenShinRa4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Take yourself less seriously. Get out of the self-pity mechanism: it's a draining vicious circle. You've realized pretty hard truths: it will take time for you to digest them and, with time, even enjoy them.

Work on your neediness. Forget about getting a GF. Work on yourself, whatever that means to you: the point is that you've gotta be absolutely fine with being alone before you can even think about being in a relationship.

It is a weird paradox, but you'll learn it is pretty obvious: when I've looked for a GF in times of emotional need, I never found one. When I found myself thinking: "actually I'm pretty happy about being single", bam! A relationship-worthy person popped out.

Analyze your view on sex and what it means to you. It seems you are connecting sex with guilt or filthiness. I don't know if you have a religious background, but that fits in the "white knight" description. This doesn't mean: fuck everything you see. Having moral standards is good; I also have a pretty conservative view on sex, and I don't engage in sex unless I have a connection with a woman (spoiler: you don't need weeks, sometimes a connection arises within seconds).

Lastly, best of luck: it is going to be hard, but it's way better than if you were just stuck there.

[–]masterrod1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

From reading this it really appears you masturbate too much.

Sex is part of love, it's how how people connect. Although you can have situation where you can love without sex, sex is still part of most adult relationships. In other words, if you truly want to have a woman you need to fuck her.

You have a very negative view on love as well. TRP never says love isn't real, it says she can't love you the way you want her to. Think about that logic? Most people are not in your head. They can't just pick up and just play a game you've been playing in your head all this time, especially without direction.

The only thing that will make you a faggot is fucking dudes. Wanting to be loved and and cared for is part of life, and on most people's minds. However, being loved and cared for should not come with your balls stuck in a sling. That's the point of TRP.

My suggestion is to stop the negative self talk, stop masturbating immediately, stop watching porn, and start meeting women. You are only 25 your life has barely begun.

[–]RocketManV1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

There are two types of love that women are capable of. The love they have for children, and the love they have for men. The love they have for children is unconditional, this is the love your mother has/had/should have had for you. The love they have for men is conditional, ie hypergamous.

Men are the source of love. It flows from men, to women, to children, to puppies. You have to be the source of the love you desire. Only then will you be capable of accepting the love they are giving.

You must then learn to get competitive. Become better, become desirable. This is done through lifting, reading, learning, growing, and getting rejection. We do this because we love ourselves.

[–]Luckyluke231 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

chin up son... it can't be all bad.. it's sunday, grab a coffee and listen to some credence man!

but seriously, at one point or another I felt like this. the best thing you can do is just stop and try and take it all in for a second. It's pretty hard being told they way you been doing things for so long,, is so inherently wrong.

your life goal isn't sex... it's like a pro golfer playing in the masters. He wants win the green jacket and he will do everything in his power to do so. If he makes a little money on the side... well thats just the bonus that comes with that.

your number one goal in life should be to strive for happiness man. It doesn't matter about sex, it doesn't matter about women... it matters about you man. DO you and then you a DO women...

I think your problem lies with thinking to much about the end game. From what you have told me, I don't think you have the mindset to make it there. This isn't a bad thing, it just means you have to start at the BEGINNING.

ok, So whats the BEGINING. Well, you either go to the club, the city center or the mall and you walk up to a nice women you like and you say hello. Then you run away SCREAMING with your arms flailing just like a cartoon.

congrats, you just talked to a women. next thing you should do is go o the club, the city center or the mall and you walk up to a nice women you like and you say hello. Then you run away SCREAMING with your arms flailing just like a cartoon.

congrats, you did it AGAIN.

repeat this process until you are blue in the face. It's time to go back to basics man. you don't need to read Red pill, you don't need to watch RSD videos, you just need to get out there and get SOME level of success. by success, I mean you wave at a girl and she waves back. Keep it simple and steady and you will be see progress man.

[–]CowardlyPetrov1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I completely relate. I was like you before. I am like you now.

There is more to life than loving a woman.

But I am also very discontent from the revelation that one of my deepest desires was for something imaginary. Realizing that no woman would ever love me for being good or, indeed, ever love me. Realizing that the human beings around me are garbage is rather painful.

I did use to be such a nice guy. I donated my money and my time. I saved lives. I wanted to love others. I wanted a woman to love as my lover, but also to just be good to people always.

Now I only donate my blood because it's good for me. Now I would never help someone who was drowning or in a car accident because I might be hurt myself. Now I will never love a woman because I realize no woman is worth loving and no woman will ever love me.

And I hate that. I hate that the environment I am in forces me to be that.

Sure, some cunts might say I am the bad one, but no one condemns scar tissue from forming because of lacerations. That's what I have become. Scar tissue. I used to give and give and give, and I was told I was evil. Now I am apathetic and I am still told I am evil. What's the fucking difference?

I'm not some pussyslaying master like the other guys here. I've fucked a few whores, both literally and metaphorically. I think I liked the prostitutes better. Their honesty was so refreshing. At least they were honest. What redeeming qualities do those other women have? They're stupid, insane, and deceptive.

It is shit. I hate it. I never orgasmed with a woman because I hated it and I hated them. How can they be so animal? I am more than my urges. I am more than a beast. I am a man. I don't need to fucking love someone to fuck them, but I need at least some mutual affection. Not this fucking retarded game. These people have sex like it's masturbation and the other human being is a sex doll.

I don't know. Maybe I am just a loser. Maybe I am just an obnoxious unlikeable cunt.

My view is that I don't want to wallow in sadness. Being stoic isn't being sullen.

I am not inherently good. I was born shit and I was made better by my father and my brother and by other great men. And even some women. I do struggle to think of good women, my own mother was a malicious criminal, but Karen Straughan is a good woman and I think it more likely that women are just conditioned to be immoral and their worst aspects encouraged in a shit culture then that they are just inherently evil. I think like me, they are inherently an animal. Not good. Not evil. Just selfish and greedy and wanton. In other words, easily made evil, but not actually evil. What makes us Human is more than being homosapien. It's how we rise above our animal natures. We think with more than our lizard brains. And I cannot love someone who doesn't seem to do that.

It makes me realize I don't want that love. It makes me realize I cannot stand to be here a second longer.

For my part, I don't want to be sullen. I don't want to seethe with contempt or be idle. I'm trying to make myself the best self I can be. I am trying to figure out where I can go and be safe from divorce rape and all the rest of the dangers of western civilization cast upon me for having a penis. (I haven't figured out where yet...)

When I do, I intend to be a better guy. I intend the community to improve by having me. I intend to find a young woman who was raised in a good culture by a good family with a good FATHER at its head and take the hand off from him. And I will never expect her to love me the way I use to wish I could be loved. Because your wife is your first child.

I don't know. That's where I am at now. Maybe I will look back and think this was stupid. Or maybe this is another step in the right direction.

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points | Copy

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[–]CowardlyPetrov1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I get you. I think we feel similarly. Or maybe I previously felt similarly.

But the old proverb says that brave men die first.

I use to think I could be a beacon of light. But what for?

No, I am not God to save the world. I am not a boy to cling to an escapist hero fantasy.

I was heroic as fuck. I should be dead, but through fortune I am alive. The best I ever received was apathy and often enough to sicken me I received outright contempt for my courage. The only life I don't regret saving was my father's.

He's lived his life being a kind and gentle soul. And people have always walked all over him. The state destroyed our family and his life's work for nothing. Being good isn't good enough.

And I refuse to be good in a shit society. I'm not saying I am turning to evil or even that I am being hostile to everyone I encounter. I just mean I'll never take risks to help strangers. I just mean I have become mostly apathetic in action despite my feelings and I will continue to do so until it is proven to me that I should behave otherwise.

If you kick a friendly dog enough times it stops being friendly. And it SHOULD stop. Only a retarded dog develops Stockholm syndrome.

I once saved a man from dying on the traintracks at the train station. And not only did he never thank me and escaped the scene as soon as he could, the fucking police and train authority tried to have me charged for causing a disturbance. Next time, I'll let him die.

Edit: and being heroic doesn't get you love either, which is infuriating. The hunchback of notre dame didn't get to ride off into the sunset. Saved her from dying in a fire? Doesn't matter, you're ugly. She leaves with the pretty boy.

[–]real-boethius3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

It's called growing up.

You might not remember, but at about the age of two, you began to realize that the world did not revolve around you, that other people existed and had needs and wants.

This is a continuation of that process of maturation.

It may seem bad but you do get used to it after a while. Being in tune with the actual real world is very refreshing and enjoyable.

[–]rajesh81622 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

To add to this - If you want the actual real world to be refreshing and enjoyable, get a backbone, stay away (actively) from people that kill your mojo and travel !

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Women can legitimately love you, all the redpill tries to teach you is that their love is conditional and just like ours is for them, only that their conditions are different than ours. The point is to have them be attracted to you, respect you and love you all at the same time.

Girls will cheat on you and leave you even if they love you because women don't have a strong sense of loyalty like men, they will find someone that can offer them more (social status, looks, money, etc) and some will care more about looks then money and some will care more about social status than looks and so on. Women are still people and they are all different, trp just wants you to stop thinking that they are men and think like men because they aren't men.

If your girlfriend gains 100lbs and the sex goes to shit you will eventually fall out of love and resent her, just like if you lose your 90k salary she will eventually fall out of love with you - because you aren't able to provide her with what she wants. The feelings are real, but they are transactional and in reality you always knew that - it's just finally being talked about and explained to you.

[–]jcrpta1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Let me guess.

Your dad was never a big part of your life, growing up. In fact, no adult male was; you had to learn to be a man by listening to what the women around you said they expected of one.

I didn't do anything wrong and yet that means I did everything completely fucking wrong. Why did everyone lie to me?

"Lie" is the wrong word, in my view. It implies some sort of malice.

You were taught the ways of the world in completely the wrong way. Young men, on the whole, are simple creatures and do not learn terribly effectively if you try and sugarcoat things too much.

Unfortunately, that's exactly how you were told about the world.

Books, movies, TV shows, women, girls... the whole lot of them fed you a sugarcoated reality in which just being a nice guy had you drowning in more pussy than you knew what to do with. And being a trusting (and, let us be blunt, somewhat gullible) soul, you took all this information at face value.

Men seldom talk about their sex lives in any detail, and when we do there's always the voice saying "cough BULLSHIT cough" at the back of our minds; you probably didn't figure out that the lads getting laid in your teens weren't the ones who the girls would hold up as examples of "nice guys".

Sorry...I should have done a better job with this submission I just feel beaten right now.

We've all been there.

Go read "No more Mr. Nice Guy".

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points | Copy

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[–]bustanutmeow0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

In the short term, I would suggest a dog. They can provide great company, and they give you undying love. Keep your chin up, start lifting, eating right, and kicking ass. Also, go bang a hooker to get rid of the magic of sex. Once you have it, you will relax about it more.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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