A guide for banqueting 'value management' and the no fucks zone. From a rp raised male.

Forward: This guide is intentionally written without using hard or classical terminology. If you want that, check the side bar glossary and readings. That being said, without having read the side bar or primed yourself over a while of lurking, this guide still should prove to be comprehensively accessible.

Disclaimer Don't like what I have to say? Don't care. Leave a contrary post but at least do the community a service and back it up. I'm not here to please you. This guide won't help you get pussy? You likely don't understand value. This guide doesn't use rp dialect? See above, 'the forward' I'm here to help because I need to collect my thoughts and individual post responses are annoying. Also, this is a new account, separate from my primary, though several probably know who I am off other posts from a different account. For that reason I may take a while to respond, don't be discouraged, I don't mind helping on my designated time.

TL/DR There isn't one. If you're low on time, don't read it, or only scan the segments with caps or italics.

Topics: First off, banqueting, I'm using this term because it's what my grandfather and father taught me, we're in a different age now so it's probably more effectively referred to as a barbecue or a house party. I'm still going to refer to it as a banquet or buffet as it strongly aids the metaphor, implying a very select clientele at an event you completely control. This section will aid any novice or confused individual in recognizing how self worth functions in regards to how the world views your value.

Second off, the no fucks zone. How to place yourself solidly there barring anxiety disorders or chemical imbalance. Drawing from years of studying philosophy, marketing, and admin, 'finishing a triple major, running my own business' and a healthy lifetime of raising from dear old dad and grandpa, I've helped many understand the path towards gaining the zone and maintaining it. This section will help explain to a novice or the confused what it is, what it is NOT, and how to begin realizing you're already using it commonly. 'That's right, you are.' Note, if you have questions, pm me. Or don't. I'm doing this to help because at least one of you will offer useful advice to me eventually.

First: Value, Banqueting and selfish charity. What we're covering first is value. Posts about value are all over trp and mrp, how to increase it, internal vs external, how to measure both, etc. Throughout this section imagine, as my dad and granddad taught me, that you're running a banquet, and value is on the menu 24/7. It is your cost and your profit.

What is value? Value is what the world sees in you and wants. Quite simply, if others want it, it has value. This is not to confuse it with being strictly external value, as value comes in flavors, internal, and external.

Internal value is anything which improves what others want from you by improving yourself. These values are important in that they cannot be taken from you except in extreme circumstance. This is why trp always says to newcomers, GO LIFT. GO READ. It's true, it's a good start. Other noted internal values are education, above average levels of field specific training, temperance, fortitude, experience, and integrity. Internal value is how you go about securing external value, as it is your fuel for your external expenses. A high internal value lets you gain external value more often and at a larger magnitude.

External value is important as well, though it has a cost. It's usually very high upkeep and fickle as to persistence. External value can also be taken from you at a moments notice, tragedy, misfortune, or even some idiot with a knife can separate you from your external value. Things like nice cars, clothing that is trendy, or being in the bosses evoked set can shift quickly and with barely any warning, and require a large upkeep of energy. Keep in mind external value isn't only physical, charity and trust are also external, as well as your public image. 'Charity especially should be treated as incredibly high maintenance'

How to treat, build, and spend value? As mentioned before, it is a cost to maintain, and the profit you reap. Treat internal value as a long term stock investment. Build it, build your portfolio, and your passive income will replenish faster and at a larger amount right? When you buy that nice car or refresh your wardrobe yearly, or want a classy night on the town, it's better coming out of the yearly passive income than your monthly active income isn't it? The same goes for internal value as opposed to external. On to the metaphor.

I am selfish, I always have been, and there is no reason for me not to be. You should be the same. Life is a simple question of what you want out of x.

As a rp man by raising, the biggest lesson I've ever learned is simple and for that very reason most often misunderstood.

You are what the world sees you do. If you're a person who is constantly adding value to the world, people will want a slice of it, who doesn't want nice shit? Everyone thinks they have something to trade! Many think they can get some free! The world is endlessly hungry, bigger, better, and stronger than you. It will fuck you. It will consume everything at your banquet and leave nothing for you. This is why at your buffet that value however MUST come from excess. As a buffet dwindles in size what happens? The fast starters move to a new table, most will lag about until competition is too fierce, some will close the shop and lick the plates. If you're really bad at managing your value, you will eventually have nothing left to fuel yourself, you will first lose external value, and damage your internal.

"The man who kills a man, kills a man, the man who kills himself, kills all men." G.k. Chesterton. Do not kill yourself 'and all future opportunities' by outspending your value.

To remember this, you must internalize that to give value for free is suicide. There must always be a sufficient exchange.

You must always focus your time on increasing the size and quality of your banquet. Since the goal of any rp individual is to increase your net value, you need to consider value from others into your equation. Connections are the biggest external value asset you can tap into, but you must be selective in who sits at the table. Both because you are the company you keep, and also because it creates scarcity 'in access' to a real bounty of resources, 'your hard built buffet, your value'. This especially falls into the realm of charity, give selfishly or not at all.

Anyone who comes to your table can beg, but it's yours, they have to be a VIP to be seated. This isn't to say you don't calculate the value of playing the benevolent God, it actually raises interest in the table when done correctly as others believe there's a chance at entry. This is the massive, singular value saver in saying NO. Always say no when they are not cost effective. Say no when anything isn't cost effective. This shouldn't even be difficult, if you really understand the above you know how important it is to safeguard your internal and external value. Would you allow someone who walked up and demanded 4 hours worth of cash from you to open your wallet and help themselves? No? Good. Then don't let some random non VIP eat from YOUR value banquet without trading the same in THEIR value to you.

Above all though, remember your value is a limited resource, very limited. The less time you spend building your internal value, the less in magnitude and frequency it can be spent without damaging it's replenishment rate. It is an upkeep that only grows and never ends. Its a buffet that always needs new better bigger courses added, you are the owner, bouncer, and host, and you're using that surplus of internal value to purchase/attract others, who bring you external value. No one will save you except yourself, the world does not care about you and if allowed, will try to consume you. Do not be jaded about this fact. Be happy. The world is dependable, now you know where you stand.

It is your duty to improve yourself, so that you can add value to those that can add value to you in kind. It is the ultimate truth of anyone who expects to gain anything from the world in a meaningful way.

For this reason I heavily suggest doing as I do, and applying the 80/20 rule. 80 percent of your time should be spent increasing internal value while only 20% should be used purchasing external value. Before you schedule going to the club, 'which costs you time, an opportunity cost everyone must be aware of' make sure your schedule includes 4 times as much for internal value building. Lifting, education, public speaking training, podcasts, whatever it takes, most of your day should be focused on improving internal value. When you go out to open the doors to your buffet not only can you have peace of mind and focus solely on managing the clientele, you will have clients begging and trading for VIP status!

Second: the no fucks zone This is not to be confused with apathy but honed value management awareness. All over trp and mrp I see this mistake. People confuse stoicism with not giving a fuck, people confuse apathy with not giving a fuck. People confuse pragmatism with being skeptical. People confuse knowing your value and internal value, with being able to ignore and maintain frame.  This really needs to stop.

Not giving a fuck, from hereon referred to as the zone, is a state of confident, constant, informed, OBJECTIVE value management. Remember how you must never allow the world to eat you? Don't give away value for free? SAYING NO? That's what it takes to truly be in the zone.

The apathetic is not in the zone, for apathy can have no goal.

The stoic is not in the zone, for stoicism is only a presentation, not a passion for choice.

The asshole is not in the zone for the asshole has not learned that civility is free marketing.

The pretender 'fake it until you make it' is not in the zone, they are an actor, and those who live the real thing will always sense an charlatan.

Being aware of your desires puts you in the zone. Knowing what you want and being dedicated to the point of happily saying no is in the zone. Recognizing a leech to your value and surgically removing it, no matter how small, is being in the zone.

So how do I get to the zone? That's the hard question though it is another one that can be addressed with something dad and granddad always said: At the end of this post you'll find an EXAMPLE system to better know yourself and your time management. This is the system I've used that works for my life, there are myriad ways of putting yourself in the zone. For now, the words I was brought up with, paraphrasing;

First you must know yourself, then know what you want, then know what you do not have time for. Then you must act. Victory never goes to a critic, a planner, a theorist, but the man in the arena.

Yes. Both of them respected Roosevelt with a passion.

Why you're already in the zone You are already in the zone. I guarantee it. Any opportunity that you happily turn down in order to better yourself towards a goal is you being in the zone. What your goal is of course, makes the difference. Saying no to video games to go out with friends? The zone. Saying no to friends in favor of study or work? The zone. Saying no to an iced cream because you're at calorie limit? The zone. Knowing your goal and responding without a second thought to protect it is being in the zone. Having a level head in negotiation? The zone. Why? Simple, you've internalized what is valuable to you. You don't need to pretend, you are your goals and values.

In depth on what the zone is, a theory. In middle school I began the finding myself phase, due to what my parents taught me I already knew how to say no, but I began treating it with undue reverence to the extreme without sufficient understanding of the reasons. I turned down between middle school and highschool graduation, many opportunities, before realizing the difference on being in the zone versus simply acting a stoic. Being in the zone you will say yes to inconvenience if there's a worthwhile payout. Simply acting stoically often means you miss or ruin opportunities because you're balancing the character your playing with your value management. Often in spite of it since you're not truly being objective, 'you haven't learned your true goals' you're just playing cold.

Turning down something as a way to maintain frame, come across as a hard catch, or to create false demand is stupid. Turning down something because it steals from your value is essential. This is not to say the two are mutually exclusive. It is to highlight that saying no to a girl at a party is a good decision not when you're attempting to build an image, but when your image value would take net loss. You will know the difference between internalizing and acting when you no longer need to think about it. The poor offer will only be seen as harming your goal. Being stoic isn't necessary when in an argument because of staying objective, it will happen when you know your goals so well that you can instantly recognize something impeding you, or at the least delaying you.

Knowing what the zone is not, the danger of the wrong reasoning Knowing your goals and internalizing, living by them brings you the zone. You know what it is now, but why should you care? You should care because there are others out there like you, they mimic you, they can taste authenticity in drive versus carefully regulated stone demeanor. There is a massive difference between staying cold and dependable and being driven enough to know value where you see it, and saying no to a lack thereof. If you are simply playing a mask instead of being the person you're nothing more than a beautiful doll. Yes, fake it until you make it is great for habit forming, but it is not going to cut it in that crucial moment where a higher value VIP is considering your buffet and senses your false face isn't genuine. Say goodbye to that opportunity. An actor shall act where expected. An authentic will do as is required.

Do not ever make the mistake of fooling yourself into assessing your value as higher than it is. Do not ever assume that pretending is enough, it cannot be, and I'd it is you're either very lucky or playing way below your challenge level. By taking the approach of value management, you have decided to play with the big boys, you're eventually, inevitably dealing with people who've been doing this a lifetime. They will eat you unless you take the time and perspective to be authentic in you're value. Yes start small and fake it if you must, but you're better off spending time focusing on knowing yourself, and letting your growing self awareness and certainty make the difference passively.

This way of approaching the zone works wonders, though by far IT IS NOT THE ONLY WAY. Self swot Do a self swot analysis. Be brutal. For those of you who don't know what a strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, threats analysis is, I suggest searching it. Remember for a self swot, the left column 's/w' is internal value and weakness, the right 'o/t' is external.

What are your internal strengths? Are you fit? Healthy? A good public speaker? Funny? Clever? A good networker? Mastery level pianist? Gym Bunny? What's your area of expertise? Etc. Only internal things that improve yourself which you're already doing without really thinking about it go here.

What are internal weaknesses? Do you have social anxiety? Do you over think things? Do you not think enough? Do you know what and how you're motivated? Are you fat? Are you a pushover? Are you obsessed with pleasing? Are you a spendthrift? The things you do that you think back on 'why didn't I x' or 'I should have y' go here.

What are your opportunities? Is there a gym nearby? Have you been reading regularly? Do you have a talent you haven't exercised? Do you have tons of down time? Do you have time to meditate? To write? To create? Are there bars and clubs you haven't scouted? Have you checked the classifieds recently? Are you saving? Investing? Gave you checked r/personal finance recently? 'Hint hint'

What are your threats? Where do you rank in your social group? Are you the smartest person in the room normally? 'Hint, if you are you're in the wrong room', are you intelligent but inexperienced? Are most friends more specialized than you? Do you take crash courses from friends and acquainted specialists? Are you spending 4 hours a day sitting in front of a computer complaining on the internet instead of getting up and doing something? Run your own 80/20 analysis. Take your last few days, write out your average schedule in hours. How was each hour spent? What were the achievements made? By achievement I mean things which added value to you, internal or external?

If you only had 20% of the time you spent to make those same achievements how would you have done it? Can you front load? What would you have cut? For questions in how to accurately improve your efficiency, I'd check out ace productivity by Kevin Moser. Great podcast, listen to it.

Take your swot analysis, weaknesses and threats must be improved or delegated, take that free time, your time that didn't add value, and put it to work addressing those weaknesses and threats. Either find some way to trade your value for compensation, or find a way to fix them yourself.

Congratulations, you should now have a visual/perceptual map of what you are actually doing to add value to your life, what you're doing that adds nothing, and what you should do to reschedule to reach new goals. The above system is a great first step but that's not all it takes to reach the zone. From here, if you've been honest, you can only see the changes you need to make to focus on a fulfilling and value based lifestyle. You must actually follow through and begin scheduling your time to achieve it. Do that. Find a good calendar app and task manager and get started.

So you've scheduled your time? Good. You're probably looking at an agenda which has almost no free time and that's alright. You'll narrow your actual desires after the first week of performance, freeing up more time to focus on what brings you the most satisfaction and value. Repeat this weekly and eventually the small successes will turn to large ones, the small goals will become bigger, and before you know it, your value will be paying dividends.

This is where the zone always tends to appear. A focused purposeful life is where you achieve the ability to say no, to put things in their place and avoid distraction, to have net value growth and satisfaction at the same time. Be sure to keep at least a weekly record of your progress. You must always have an objective record to use as a benchmark. I hope this has helped quite a few, I'll check back sporadically and when convenient to respond to anything.