This started out as a reply to another post, but I thought I'd give a try to explaining how I've been operating even though I'm really a half-tard feeling my way around in the dark with this still.

The guy was asking r/redpillcoach how to handle his wife giving him signals to initiate with the intention of shooting him down for fun. I've always thought that if it isn't an LMR and she is in fact doing that, it's their own way of showing you that their SMV is higher than yours and being cruel, or, punishing you for some perceived slight in order to modify your behavior. Remember, women are told by society that this is their right and even duty, to "Get their man squared away."

My wife did this the other day and her reaction to my response annually caught me off guard. Basically I initiate when I want and this week she gave me a hard no 3 nights in a row. I simply kissed her on her cheek (she flinched away because how dare I push her for gasp sex when she says no) and told her "Good night, I love you" and started reading. She knows I'm reading a lot more and so it didn't come off as butt hurt (as far as I know, but at this point that's her interpretation to have)

A little background, I'm fairly OI as of now since I want to fuck about 2 to 3 times a week and by initiating 8 to 9 I am getting what I want. Those 2 to 3 times a week are when I'm going to give it to the next thing that crosses my path no matter what, bull in a China shop, I push past the LMR because I want to and they are fun, involved and getting dirtier. The other times are the next 2 or 3 days after when it happens to cross my mind and she is around. Not really "I'm GOING to fuck no matter what!" moments.

Here is what I think is the reason, and her actions confirmed it I believe. She realizes I am a sex hungry bastard and since she's getting a break when she gives her little pouty hard no 2 or 3 times, she starts having passive dread. When it happened this week I got up the next morning after hard no 3 in a row, hit the reset button and came in behind her with my morning wood while she's doing her makeup and hugged her. Then told her, busy day today, going to hit the gym early and went and lifted. I usually lift later in the day.

I got back home before she left the house (strange, she's usually gone 15 minutes before this). I went inside and was getting coffee and she was putting on her shoes. She came over, kissed me goodbye and then caught me off guard with, come and talk to me outside please, in a pleasant and almost pleading tone.

We get in the garage and she says she knows I'm getting frustrated with her and want to fuck a lot more than she is giving me. I just smiled and pressure flipped, "You think I'm frustrated because I want to fuck more?" and she came back with, "Last night I was waiting for you to keep going, I even stayed up after you stopped.". Now you will think I'm autistic but I'm trying to break her of this notion that remaining awake laying still next to me without touching is a way of initiating. So I AA and give her, "Dang it! I just knew you were trying to blow me!". And she laughed. She knows she's full of shit and that she's capable of being aggressive and initiating and that I see through her repricing l retroactive DEER trying to point the finger and give me the, "You HAD your chance" which I did, I just was more OI than interested.

Then the revelation that her hamster has been pushing the wheel. "Did you meet you girlfriend and fuck at the gym?". She's half smiling and being silly trying to play it off, she knows people can't fuck at the gym (Unless they do, of course) but she is thinking she had better step up or I could give other people. Again AA and give her, "Come on, no way. My workout is too valuable for that.". I can see her relax and she starts to turn towards her car when I add with a laugh, "It was behind the Dollar Tree you know why I bought that extended cab.".

Dirty look and slammed car door as I smile and wave as she backs out. She calls me from work later, which she never does, just to talk. That night I throw the Wedge on the bed while she's brushing her teeth and tell her to get up there and bend over it so I can finger fuck her while vibing her balloon knot. And of course she does and it's on from there.

All of that to say this, passive dread works. It doesn't necessarily have to come from things you do, it can be from her hamstering shit she ISN'T doing. Things you don't explain or get butt hurt about will burn in her brain for days if she knows they are things that you want in a relationship but that she's been neglecting.

If you can't take a hard no without being a little twat, initiate when you don't want it that badly and you will have OI. You initiate 3 times as much and get the no more often then the yes will come more often too. Even if you are still not to where you need to be for spontaneous initiating from her, she knows there's at the VERY LEAST some of the chubsters at the gym who would like to suck you off for the same reasons she's trapped you.

She doesn't want that shit to happen even if she isn't attracted to you like you want yet. Keep working at it and use this as a way to pull the old, fake it till you make it. But also, make sure you make it, too many dudes just doing the faking part full time.