For those of you who are still interested in getting your dick wet in as many beautiful women as possible before you die, but still want to stay happily married, this post is for you. If you have a moral problem with this post, I don't blame you. But I'm posting it anyway.

THE BASICS:

  • For women your wife doesn't already know, let them know you're married before you try to sleep with them. If they find out you're married after they sleep with you, you run a greater risk of them looking up and telling your wife (this just happened to a buddy of mine). Let them know beforehand, and let them commit the sin with their eyes wide open, and then their fear of being labeled a slut and home wrecker will most likely keep them quiet. Hell, for many of them it makes the sex that much more exciting and satisfying.

  • During the day when you're out and about (probably when you're out at lunch during your work day or at the gym or running to the store, whatever) take your ring off. I've noticed that there's something about the light of day that makes women more concerned about how talking to a married man might look, and any hint of interest from you is met with twice the amount of resistance and skepticism--if you keep it on, you have to be EXTREMELY coy about your intentions--keep the conversation business related and then get her number within that frame. But then it's quite hard to reframe that later so you're really better off not wearing it, and then letting her know after you get her phone number that you find her really attractive, but that you're happily married so you can only be friends ("friend" is just a word that offers women deniability. don't be afraid to use it).

  • At night (when you're out with your buddies for a boys night or you're out with your wife for a date night) wear the ring. For some reason I've found that at night, women don't care nearly as much about how it might look talking to a married guy, and the ring serves as both preselection and it reverses the chasing dynamic in your favor. Be open about the fact that you find her attractive but, since you're married, you can only be friends, is she cool with just being friends? If she says yes, get her number. If she ever brings up your wife again, simply step back and reaffirm that your marriage isn't going to be a problem for your friendship. If you pull back, rather than push (by trying to convince her it's ok or it's innocent or some other bullshit), she'll sense your lack of need and happily recommit.

  • For women your wife knows and they like each other, you should never text or talk openly about your intentions. She's more likely to feel obligated to tattle, or she might just gossip to other friends about her friend's sleazy husband who keeps hitting on her so she can get a quick hit of social validation (which could get back to your wife). No, you need deniability here. The goal will be to get her to agree to meet you alone for something innocent. If she agrees to meet you alone, and she shows up, all you need to do is start kino while keeping your conversation above board and innocent and things will happen naturally. Do what you're going to do, but don't talk about what you're doing. A great way to get them alone? "I'm buying (wife) a gift for christmas/birthday/anniversary/death in the family/she's sick/just because and I need help picking something out--what are you doing tomorrow around (time)--you wanna go to (store) with me?" That works like a charm. It gives you both deniability, but gets you alone. Trust me, if a woman agrees to be alone with you, knowing you're married, she's interested in something happening.

  • For women your wife knows but they don't like each other, you can actually be very direct about what you want. I know this might sound counter-intuitive and risky, but remember, although she might want to sleep with you as a way of attacking your wife (yay for you!), she can't actually tell her about it, or anybody, or she risks the worst label a woman can receive, which is slut/home wrecker. If she gets that label she risks total rejection from her social group and may have to start all over, and that's a punishment worse than death for a lot of women. She'll be happy to just enjoy the secret fact that she's getting one over on her enemy. That shit is plenty for them. And even if she DOES tell, the possibility that, if your wife leaves you, you might just run back off into the arms of her enemy is usually enough to get her to just forgive you, if for nothing more than her simple competitive drive.

WHAT TO DO IF YOUR WIFE FINDS OUT:

  • If she has definitive proof, admit it, and ask what she wants you to do about it, but only apologize once, and refuse to go into details. Simply reaffirm your love for her and let her know that what happened with the other person was purely physical and that you have no feelings for her and don't mind never seeing her again. If after a few days she's still asking questions about it and hasn't gotten over it, let her know that you understand her feelings, but that you already apologized, and if you're going to stay together, she's going to need to snap out of it. Give her one more day to grieve and then tell her if she can't put on a happy face, you'll just leave. I know it sounds harsh, but it's actually what she needs from you at that time. Remember, she's being tossed about by waves of emotion, and even though you caused this, if you remain an emotionless buoy, she will cling to you for dear life.

  • If she doesn't have definitive proof (e.g. pictures, not some spurious claim by another woman--even THE woman) deny it and ask these beautiful questions shared with me by another poster a few weeks ago "Why would I fool around with (name)? We have kids, and she's not even as hot as you, what would be the point? Do you seriously believe that?" These are all things she wants to be true, and people tend to believe things they want to be true. This gives you a great chance of wiggling out of a guilty verdict.

  • If she demands to look through your phone, say "not a chance."

  • If she says that's proof that you're cheating, say "if you say so."

  • If she threatens to leave, tell her you understand, and won't make her stay.

  • If she tells you to leave, say ok, and start walking out the door (she'll probably stop you--too scared of who you'll go stay with).

  • The key is just to remain calm. Don't get emotional. Don't get defensive. Be cool with whatever she wants but continue to deny it. Then she won't go anywhere.

NOW FOR SOME THEORY:

Women want to live in a Disney dream world, but they also want drama. She doesn't WANT you to cheat, because she's afraid you'll fall in love with the girl you cheat with and leave her (very unlikely), but she also kinda does want you to cheat because that's what alphas do--they're wild animals that can't be tamed, and it was that quality of yours that she probably fell for in the first place.

But she wants you to deny it so she can go on living in her dream world, while simultaneously knowing that she picked the right man as evidenced by other women trying to get with you.

The ultimate happiness for a woman is being married to an alpha. To know that the other girls can offer all the hot young pussy they want, but at that end of the day, they're just side dishes. She's the main course. She's the one he gives his time, attention, his money, and his last name to. The one who gets to know and belong to his family. Who gets to have his genes in her kids. Who gets to be seen in broad daylight with him. And she's never bored with him, because he's still wild, he's still a challenge. Just like when she first fell for him.

It also makes her hornier. Like any dread tactic tends to. One of the strange things men who cheat, are found out, but hold frame come to learn, is that sex with your wife can be WAY better than it has been. There's nothing like a little competition to stoke that flame. And most guys I've talked with who cheated, got caught, and held frame will say that they wouldn't take it back if they could because 1. sleeping with another woman was awesome, 2. their marriage and marital sex life actually got better as a result of it, and 3. it makes them less worried about getting dumped because they have recent experiential confidence that they can land a replacement LTR at the drop of a hat.

So it doesn't have to be the end of the world when she finds out, but it takes some strategy to work through it properly, and a strong frame, so it's better to err on the side of caution and try your best to keep it quiet.

That's all for today.