Last night I had a Jerry McGuire moment. Not a "show me the money" moment. But where I was up all night with a huge epiphany.

My epiphany was about my situation and MRP. And this is it:

MRP is about gaining back our ability to choose. A choice of who to be with.

Our marriages go to shit when both partners stop giving the other person a reason to choose them. As a husband we are trapped. we have the option to choose shitty option A- be miserable in a marriage, or B-divorce and loose everything. Neither are good options. But we have no way to fix it. Most of us don't even know that we can.

There is a reason why people cheat. After many years of the choice of shitty options A & B along comes option C and it is amazing to have that option. It may have never been a consideration if A was worth it.

MRP, dread and everything else is about restarting her motivation to give us a reason to choose her. And in turn, her to choose us. So it is easy to see how this will fix the man but not necessarily the marriage. Because at the end of the journey, after we get our options back, she may not choose us anymore, and we may not choose her. But at least we know we have options that we can choose.