Submitting this topic more to spark a discussion than as a self contained informative post.

I read on a blog recently about the important distinction between a man's horniness and sex drive. The former was explained as an urge to release sexual energy, whether by oneself alone or with another human being. The latter - the urge to have actual sex with a woman, with greater results incurred such as sheer numbers of women bedded.

Example: one can be plenty horny and choose to jerk off. That out of the way, then very likely his desire to go through effort involved to actually get a woman to fuck him will drop considerably. He's deemed a "low sex drive" person. At same time one can be plenty horny, and have a high enough sex drive (and self-control) to deny himself an easy release, and go do all the things to chase an actual woman to have sex with. This man would be a "high sex drive" person.

In my experience recognizing this has become an important distinction. Even from when I was married much of the urge and frustration came from horniness. From unfulfilled desire. Typical nice guy stuff. And I found that a lack of properly identifying, managing (and channeling) one's horninness can lead to a vicious cycle and poor results with women. Strictly tending to horniness is like scratching an itch. It's instinctive, goes away momentarily, but comes back. And if you keep doing it, or you scratch area really hard you can hurt yourself. On the other hand you can also decide to change positions, put on different clothes or do something more thoughtful to address -say strategically -the situation. Call this fulfilling your deeper sex drive.

So I guess I am looking to 1. Suggest married folks ask themselves what's driving their neeeeeeeed for sex with their wife: is it horniness or a high sex drive, or both? I think understanding where one comes from holds at least part of the key to OI for instance, for those who have a hard time with OI tactically.

and 2. Get the community's perspective &experience on this and overall analyzing and channeling sexual energy.