Time and again I see men come on here and post their manly qualities and wonder how their wives arent' fucking them. All their hard work, the stuff they pay for, the sacrifices they make, for nothing?

Or they worry how their wife will respond to something unmanly that he has to do, like have his income drop below hers or go back on his word.

Very often, these supposedly manly qualities are things that women obviously either don't give a shit about or are beta qualities.

I remember an example from months back where iirc a poster needed an investment for his business to take off. His father-in-law was rich, had himself built his business on a loan from someone who believed in him in the early, and all our poster needed to do was ask for a loan. But he was afraid it would be seen as unmanly, and if he did take the loan he was sooo determined to work his ass off to repay it as soon as possible.

I get the feeling of not wanting to owe anyone anything, but this guy was worrying about how his wife would see it. The ironic thing is that his worry, his desire to pay back the money and whatever other sort of grovelling he'd do for the FIL to show his gratitude is exactly the sort of unalpha behavior that would make her lose attraction.

There's an alpha asshole archetype that would not give a fuck, take the loan and not have the slightest intention of paying it back, and as long as his alpha qualities were high his wife would enthusiastically bounce on his dick and hamster him hustling her father as savvy or some shit.

I'm not saying that this is the right way to go about it; personally I value honest and respectable relations. But I don't pretend it has anything to with being alpha. It's a personal code that is simply irrelevant with regards to her attraction to me.

Many of us see the masculine as ideal as including things like:

  • respectable
  • making money
  • true to his word
  • loyal
  • protective
  • helps friends and family in need
  • making sacrifices

But these qualities are not alpha. They're not negative alpha either - they're orthogonal to the alpha dimension. They're irrelevant when it comes to making women wet.

This idea that our masculine ideal is what women find attractive is flawed. Many aspects of our perception of masculinity are beta qualities - they're wired into us because women also have a sexual strategy to acquire partners with beta traits and because they help our children to survive, and we should understand them as such instead of assuming that everything we see as masculine or aspire to is alpha.

If you ever find yourself worrying about something "unmanly" you have to do, conjure up the image of jacked bad boys: Chad the poolboy, the tatted-up scumbag drug dealer, the hustling con artist. Men who lack status, prospects and honor but fuck lots of girls. If those guys could do what you're about to do without batting an eye, it isn't unattractive.

There are still many reasons to not be a scumbag. First and foremost, there's your personal sense of worth. Woman also have a dual sexual strategy and for that reason the MRP ideal to have both strong alpha and beta qualities. Many beta qualities also improve your relationship with other people.

But when it comes to attraction, love and respect from your woman, don't kid yourself that everything you see as manly will get that.

Your idea of masculinity is poorly calibrated with being alpha.