Put’s on mod hat….
So there was a great debate on the MMSLP forums being closed down the other day. In particular u/ImSteveMcQueen felt vindicated about some statements he made in the thread and some opinions on how the tone of the boards should go.
Every now and then as the cultural memory starts to erode we have to remind ourselves what the mission is here. I personally am here for very basic reasons, rule zero. I come here every day as a way of hitting the mental gym. I watch people fuck up and remind myself, “Don’t do that!” or “Hmm that’s a good approach I would have never thought of”
This sub, and the r/askMRP sub are laboratories. They are not group hug, circle jerk centers designed to make guys feel good for fucking up their marriages to the point of failure. We are not relationshits, askwomenz or any of those kinds of places. This is not a safe space. In fact, we will ban you for tone policing. We call people faggots for a reason. It’s harsh, shocking and gets them to think.
"Lift and read" might be the answer to most of the questions that newbies ask, but there is also the application of lift and read that they can be confused about. I don't think that half the posts that get removed should get removed. Ever heard of "there is no such thing as a dumb question" ? I teach from time to time and I can guarantee you that if someone asks a "dumb question" there are 10 more people out there that have the same question that didn't ask it. Are these forums for learning or for moderators to express their dominance ?
So when things like this get posted, I want to reach for the ban hammer. Not because he was questioning the method, but because it’s tantamount to tone policing and concern trolling. In fact in prepping for this essay I’ve read the quoted material several times, and more and more it comes off as concern trolling.
Here he opens with, Hey I think such and such is great. Then he presents his concern. “I don’t think that half the posts…” Followed by his “Well I teach and I can guarantee..” It was in fact classic concern trolling. Every graduate student worth his salt has had a professor tell him point blank, “Yeah I don’t have time for this, this is the basics, go to the reserve library” In undergraduate I remember having grad students sit in a class because the prof in question told them, “I’m teaching it today if you really don’t understand”. In graduate classes I remember sitting in the library with 5 other grad students reading reserve literature, for hours just so we could complete the homework.
So if a new guy comes in and threatens to blow up himself, or more importantly the laboratory we get heavy handed. “Hey stupid! Don’t smoke in front of 2000 gallons of methanol!”. I personally employ the 2x4 of love. Men are dense, and ego driven. You have to call out and tear them down to a base level to get them to understand, you are fucking up.
I don’t care if you storm off because we weren’t nice. I don’t care if you don’t like our methods. This is a man’s laboratory for practical advice on how to get laid. That’s it. Just like MMSLP, if we the mods start letting women in, or being kinder and gentler it’s tantamount to blowing up the fucking lab. MMSLP has proven that already. Some of us were handpicked from the founding mod, some were elevated because of their fast mastery of the concepts. We rule as an oligarchy, with iron fists for a reason. Is it the right way? Don’t know, but MMSLP sure shows what the wrong way is.
So I say this as a personal challenge, for anyone who wants to take it up with me. Instead of bitching and moaning about the atmosphere, go make yourself better. Go be the best person you can be, and become a fully integrated man. When you’ve accomplished all that, when you get sex on demand or wake up with her mouth on your cock (rule zero), when your SO will follow you into the gates of hell and only ask, “do I need boots?” you will be accomplished and can have a say in the tone of this board. Until then, quit being a faggot, go read the sidebar and lift.
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