I mostly lurk here at MRP, but today I wanted to say I am thankful for your work here and appreciate your contributions to the body of Manosphere knowledge.

STFU, or lack thereof, is a common thread on MRP, in problems brought and advice dispensed. I hope you find this post useful.


Occam's Razor is a cognitive tool which states that when there are competing theories or explanations for a given thing, the one requiring the fewest assumptions is probably correct.

Occam's STFU is simple: When men communicate, the way requiring the fewest words is probably best.

Talking, lots of talking, is a woman's stock-in-trade. Women are even perfectly content to have entire conversations where no conclusion or resolution is reached. Much of the communication is emotional and nonverbal; the words sometimes don't matter at all.

Men, on the other hand, tend to be more goal-oriented in their approach to life, which is reflected in their more parsimonious and direct, often blunt conversational style. Form follows function; short and to-the-point communication is expected, and introducing filler material or emotion into the message is a faux pas, particularly in business.


In attracting women

Avoid the friendzone Women enjoy wordy conversations with each other, but don't make the mistake of thinking long conversation alone will get you into any panties; this will entrench you into the friendzone. If attraction is your goal, use fewer words and more nonverbal flirting and plying her emotions to make the connection you're seeking.

Active conversation is an essential element of push-pull, attraction, and escalation. Guide the conversation, but don't dominate it; keep a healthy banter going. Lots of women are quiet and shy at first; the solution isn't to filibuster all evening, but draw her into the conversation, with her 3:2 you being the golden ratio. People can see from across the restaurant when a woman wishes her date would STFU and let her get a word in edgewise; shouldn't you from right across the table?

Relationship talk is the woman's prerogative. I prefer LTRs, even at the plate level, and used to babble on about how important relationships are to me, how I wanted something long-term etc ad nauseum. I honestly thought this was exactly what women were waiting to hear from a man and was necessary to get them to sleep with me. Instead, I learned the hard way that this is an attraction killer. As the man, your job is to build attraction and escalate physically. STFU and Let her bring up relationship discussion; you might be surprised how late it comes and how little is demanded.

Never talk about your problems to a woman unless attraction doesn't matter, like with a relative or colleague (about relevant business matters.) Sparingly seek commisseration and advice from your bros, but complaining to women signals weakness, thus worthlessness to them according to Briffault's Law.


In managing LTRs and conflict

Lead more by example than decree. Acta, non verba becomes more important when establishing boundaries and roles in longer term relationships. Being the type of Captain who upholds in himself the high standards he sets for his First Mate and subordinates inspires loyalty and respect with few to no words. A hypocritical or unjust leader can talk and shout till he's blue in the face, and only inspire grudging compliance at best, which will be undermined or abandoned absent his attention.

You'll never win an argument with a woman using words and logic. Once things have escalated, words don't even matter; she's operating in the emotional realm. This is why an air of Amused Mastery is so important, and techniques like fogging so effective- they let the emotions run their course and exhaust their energy, and keep you from being drawn into her frame. When she's presenting an attack that is total BS, don't engage; STFU and let her exhaust her energy, then quietly and briefly state your position verbally and nonverbally, then stop.

You can't negotiate attraction. Whether sex quality/quantity has been slipping, or if you've got a dead bedroom to turn around, lots of words will not fix it, whether through arguing, begging/pleading, or counseling. Where a simple discussion and leading fail, employ Dread Game, and if necessary, invoke other options available to you.


At work and in business

Your colleagues are NOT your friends! Everything you say will be stored and catalogued away to be used against you someday. Be careful what you disclose; adopt a "security culture" mindset. Fit in with the established quantity of small talk (below established average, but above conspicuously out of element), but make sure your content is devoid of details that can be turned against you somehow.

Avoid developing a reputation as the office complainer, and don't let the existing ones draw you into their frame. Pick your battles, by importance and fixability mainly, and when you do speak up about legitimate problems, bring at least one workable solution to the table. You absolutely will NOT successfully whine nor complain your way up the social or corporate ladder.

When someone in a superior position is stonewalling, such as a displeased supervisor, unenthusiastic sales prospect, or hardball negotiator, the temptation is to filibuster in order to keep the silence filled. While this may be appropriate in certain particular situations, a power move is to present a strong and/or appealing position or offer, then STFU and stonewall yourself. Let the silence go on beyond the discomfort zone, before yielding to the temptation to babble a conciliatory amended offer. One of the tenets of power and negotiation is, whoever speaks first loses.


Limits and exceptions to Occam's STFU

This is not a prescription to avoid naturally lengthy conversations, such as early dates with a new partner, long road trips, intimate vacations, weekends getting to know each other, at social functions etc. When conversation is flowing naturally, enjoy it, wallow in it; this is indeed the stuff of (social) life.

Occam's STFU applies primarily to situations where you're UNSURE or IN DOUBT about how much to speak.

Use finesse, especially when you're newly unplugging and changing your patterns in established relationships. Often, the prescription is for 10-20% less than you'd normally speak, not 90-100% silence. Overdo it for the context and you might come off as butthurt, socially inept, or fail to make your case sufficiently.

Part of Leadership is knowing when to take the initiative speaking to another or a group. When nobody else seems to know what to do, be that man and step up and take charge of the situation. Bystander apathy can be steered toward a decisive solution to many a crisis; timing and choice, not quantity of words is what matters in these situations. People respond well to short commands in a crisis, but you can quickly cross the line to haranguing annoyance and being ignored if you keep laying it on. The simple corollary here would be, Speak up, but not on.


The lesson of Occam's STFU is straightforward. As a man: when in doubt, USE LESS WORDS rather than more.