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Dread Level 3 Supplement: Take Your Kids Away

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November 11, 2016
147 upvotes

Been lurking here for several months and have found many useful ideas, so I'll try to give something back.

One good way to build a life apart from your wife and to get out more when you have young kids is to TAKE YOUR KIDS AWAY.

Take your kids to the park, and don't just stand there like a lazy fuck; play tag, kick a ball around, make up and play silly games, engage with them. If the weather is too poor, take them to a different room in the house as far from your wife as possible and wrestle and roughhouse on the floor; use your manly strength (because you lift) to lift and throw your kids high in the air and catch them; make up fun, physical games that challenge them. Bring the fun, so that Daddy Time is the highlight of your kids' days (and of yours as well).

You really should be doing something active and fun with your kids EVERY. SINGLE. DAY for at least an hour ... so that they don't become fat fucks like you.

It is particularly important that you take your infant away from your wife for at least 30 minutes every day, to stop that constant libido-suppressing oxytocin drip, and to condition her to spend half an hour without worrying about the baby (which might come in handy when you want to have good sex with her). After baby nurses or feeds, take your infant from your wife's arms for Daddy Time. Take them away: outside, out of earshot and out of sight, and spend some solid one-on-one time with them, or carry them around while you chase the older kids. Any just-fed infant can go for at least 30 minutes or an hour apart from Mommy, so take your baby away to bond with you, and to do fun things they don't do with your wife.

By building your own unique life and activities with your kids APART from your wife, you both add great value to your family and implement Dread Level 3, and you can easily do it every day. Even better, your kids are also Dread Level 3'ing her at the same time, so she's losing that additional validation from them. There's a bonus form of "Mommy Dread" here as well; you are showing her that you can take care of the kids all by yourself (and in fact that the kids even prefer that special hour every night with Daddy over yet another hour with her), so she's not such an irreplaceable special mommy snowflake. You also get daily practice building and holding frame and setting boundaries with opponents who aren't nearly as formidable as your wife, in a fun, low-stakes context.

This is the rare situation in which your MRP interests actually align with the prevailing blue-pill paradigm; the whole BP world tells fathers to spend more time with their kids and to relieve the mother's burden of childcare, so everyone will support you in this. Thus you can implement this early in your MRP journey without overtly rocking the boat and can appeal to scientific and even feminist authority if your wife is a mommy martyr or control freak and resists, even if your frame is weak and you end up DEERing your way through to it.

Just remember, you have to disappear for the dread, so playing with your kids in the living room while she scrolls facebook doesn't help. Take your kids away ... and have fun!


Post Information
Title Dread Level 3 Supplement: Take Your Kids Away
Author man_in_the_world
Upvotes 147
Comments 27
Date 11 November 2016 09:50 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit MarriedRedPill
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/199373
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/5cdpze/dread_level_3_supplement_take_your_kids_away/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
dread gameframeliftthe blue pillfeminist-pillsnowflake
Comments

[–]Griever11426 points27 points  (0 children) | Copy

Massive fucking upvote.

[–]maxofreddit10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Being a great dad and connected with your kids is the one of the best ways to get your wife to relax. I know so many couples who's wife wouldn't DARE leave the kids with the husband for the weekend. Not only is it unmanly, it's kinda shameful.

I actually took all three of my kids to visit my parents one summer for THREE WEEKS. Yeah, I left my wife at home alone for that time, but she wasn't going to be fun anyway, and I wanted to go, so I went. I maybe talked to her twice during the three weeks, I just went with my kids to the lake and had a blast...and so did the kids. It was one of the very first big MRP moves I made without really realizing it at the time.

I've had way more sex once I got back and since. (not the point of the trip, but hey, I'll take it.)

Once your kids aren't literally breast feeding, take them away, not just for a weekend, but for a whole WEEK at LEAST with just Daddy. It'll be awesome.

[–]OhNoNowWhat7 points8 points  (3 children) | Copy

This is great. I've been doing this a lot lately and it makes life better all around. I travel a lot for work and my kids are still pretty young, so when I came home, things were often different than they had been. With young children developing so quickly, things often changed between me leaving and me coming home. It was easier to let my wife take the lead and I would learn what the new processes were for taking care of my kids they way they needed.

Of course, this resulted in me acting a lot like my wife around my kids and that meant less daddy rough-housing and less daddy-led play with the kids.

All of that was good for keeping things steady for the kids and making the transition from a mom-only household to a mom-and-dad household go more smoothly.

The kids are a little older now (2.5 and 5) and they have gotten used to me leaving all the time so I can shake things up when I get home a little bit and it doesn't result in daily, random, child meltdowns for a week.

It's probably a combination of this and all the TRP/MRP I've been reading/internalizing but now when I come home, I get into full on daddy leader mode and do just what you are talking about. Playing with and hanging out with my kids is one of the best parts of my day now.

I would add that playing with your kids and having a genuine, good time IN FRONT OF your wife is valuable too, even if she is scrolling through Facebook or Instagram and not paying any attention. As the Captain, you lead by example. The more fun everyone has, the more likely it is that SHE will start being fun too. It might not happen right away, but in time, if you keep it up and genuinely are enjoying the time you spend with your kids, she might just put that phone down and join in. She might just follow your lead and play with the kids on her own time.

I know for my family, the kids spend MUCH more time with my wife than they do with me. Just like your wife can get bored with you and lose interest if you slack off in being alpha, she can get bored with the kids and can lose the exciting energy that kids feed off of. This means the children suffer because they don't have an engaging role model for a majority of their time at home.

Children that aren't engaged turn to video games and television or, even worse, bad behavior to get their dopamine hits. Just like your wife will poke at you to get an emotional response if you aren't exciting enough, your kids will poke too. They need attention and excitement. Mom or dad yelling at them is much more exciting than mom or dad staring at their iPhone screens.

Engaging your kids and getting your wife to do it too (by leading by example, NOT by complaining to her that she needs to put her phone down!!) will make everyone in the house happier. With a happier environment in the house, your wife will feel more playful and less worn down by kids that keep pushing her buttons out of boredom. With a happier more playful wife, you get more and easier sex.

EDIT: Just reviewed the posting guidelines and removed my TLDR.

[–]man_in_the_worldMRP APPROVED[S] 4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

I would add that playing with your kids and having a genuine, good time IN FRONT OF your wife is valuable too

I agree! (Just not most of the time.)

If they have an exciting time, you can be sure that the kids report it back to Mom, so she gets some of the encouragement in any event. And you've gotta love that toddler preselection!

[–]man_in_the_worldMRP APPROVED[S] 6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

and it doesn't result in daily, random, child meltdowns for a week.

This actually became our standard bedtime strategy for their first few years: ramp up the excitement and exercise until total meltdown. For babies the bedtime ritual was stimulating play with them until meltdown --> immediately change diaper and hand baby to wife --> nurse --> out like a light in five minutes --> sleep, well, like a baby for several hours. For the older ones, gradually escalate until exhaustion and meltdown --> diaper and pajamas --> bedtime story --> down and out in 5-10 minutes. Bedtime was so easy and quick this way, and they slept so well for the next few hours. It got so that I could usually time it to within 5-10 minutes of the target bedtime. The trick was to make playtime both exciting and energetic, so that both their minds and their bodies got a good workout to exhaustion.

But this might be hard to manage with an irregular schedule like yours; I was away only a few weeks a year.

[–]OhNoNowWhat1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

escalate until exhaustion and meltdown --> diaper and pajamas --> bedtime story -->down and out in 5-10 minutes. Bedtime was so easy and quick this way. The trick was to make playtime both exciting and energetic, so that both their minds and their bodies got a good workout to exhaustion.

Funny you say that. Our bedtimes have been almost exactly what you're talking about for the past month while I was at home. The wife isn't nursing any longer, but I get rambunctious with the kids for 15 or 20 minutes most nights and when I'm not feeling up for it, the kids are so primed through the repetition of our nightly routine that they run around together without me. And you're right. They crash immediately and then they're out for the night.

I don't know how the missus handles bedtime while I'm away (Honestly, it's not something I've ever cared to ask her). But it's not something she has ever complained about to me, so I'm assuming whatever she does, it works. She holds her own very well while I'm away.

[–]crimson_chris11 points12 points  (3 children) | Copy

Overall I agree that spending quality time with your kids is fundamental to being a valuable man, husband and father. I think that dread as a byproduct of spending time with your kids is spot on. Last week my wife jokingly said that if we ever get divored I am going to have to be the weekend parent. That is because I take the kids hiking, biking, swiming - basically I wear their asses out on the weekends (most of the time without her). Dread is the byproduct - not the goal.

That being said, I don't agree with the idea of purposely using kids as pawns to produce dread. My primary issue is that it's fucked up to manipulte kids like that (if it's not genuine). I can see a bunch of fucktards reading this post and trying to be superdad for a weekend.....not getting the hot sex they want (cause they probably are serial fuck ups) and then they pull away from the kids - because there was no dread produced. And the kids will wonder what happened to "fun" dad.

In short be a good dad because that is what you should fucking do. Ultimately all the principles of TRP/MRP should be about making yourself better with dread as the byproduct. I think that is what IDGAF is about. Doing shit for you. Being awesome for you and fuck everything else - that is the ultimate producer of dread.

[–]lamentationsoftheir7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

I can see a bunch of fucktards reading this post and trying to be superdad for a weekend.....not getting the hot sex they want (cause the prob are serial fuck ups) and then they pull away from the kids - because there was no dread produced.

Yeah, but to be fair, fucktards gonna fucktard. Ain't nothing OP can do about that.

[–]bogeyd6MRP MODERATOR1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Live and let live.

[–]man_in_the_worldMRP APPROVED[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

In short be a good dad because that is what you should fucking do. Ultimately all the principles of TRP/MRP should be about making yourself better with dread as the byproduct.

I agree completely. Thanks for the clarification!

[–]RuleZeroDADMRP APPROVED9 points10 points  (3 children) | Copy

That being said, I don't agree with the idea of purposely using kids as pawns to produce dread. My primary issue is that it's fucked up to manipulate kids like that (if it's not genuine). I can see a bunch of fucktards reading this post and trying to be superdad for a weekend.....not getting the hot sex they want (cause they prob are serial fuck ups) and then they pull away from the kids - because there was no dread produced. And the kids will wonder what happened to "fun" dad.

This. This. This. I can hear the Bloops screaming now. "MRP advocates the use of children in desperate attempts to psychologically abuse wives for sex!!!!"

I've heard and read "my kids" and "cockblocker" in the same sentence far too often from frustrated man-children. A wife getting tingles because you are a hawt dad doing what the fuck you are supposed to be doing is one thing. Creating scenarios with your kids to multiply withdrawal of attention and affection from your object of dread is placing your dick before your responsibility as a father.

The easiest way to get sex is to be attractive in both your looks and actions. It's completely unattractive to use your children as a means to the hollow end of used pussy.

The whole premise comes off as thirsty and incoherent to what it means to be a father.

One of our veteran posters u/ford_contour wrote the following, which is the end game of "just getting it" and accepting the outcomes of your changed body and behavior to be your best person and parent:

I was surprised to have forgotten that RP was born as a sexual strategy.

As a married man, I found RP for the sexual strategy; and stayed for the impact everywhere else in my life.


The core RP principle eventually dominates: Living my own life is attractive to others. Being my best self happens to be quite sexy, but I don't do it for the sexiness anymore.

Wake the fuck up.

[–]man_in_the_worldMRP APPROVED[S] 4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

The first few levels of "dread" are "personal and social self improvement" that improve your wife's and kids' lives as well. The word "dread", as adopted by /u/BluepillProfessor and MRP, is used as a technical term that does not always imply the negative connotations that it carries in common usage, as it does not in this particular case. As a SAHM, my wife greatly appreciated the daily break from the kids so that she could have some time for herself, and especially when I took them away so that she could get some uninterrupted peace and quiet.

As a Ph.D., BPP is professionally trained to distinguish between the technical and common usage of words, and thus he may not have fully appreciated the, well, dread that the technical adoption of this word would induce in those without his formal training. But please, folks, can we be a bit more sophisticated and recognize that in MRP, the default usage of Dread is BPP's 12 Levels, is technical, and in many cases is anything but dreadful for the wife?

[–]BluepillProfessorMarried-MRP MODERATOR5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, one of my main points that led me to write "A Man's guide To Dread, Seduction, and the Long Game" was that "Dread" had an undeserved reputation and that ALL relationships require some level of "Dread" to succeed long term. Dread, defined technically in MRP refers to the SLIGHT anticipation that produces this hypersexual response. I revised the Jargon and terminology post to add the technical definition of "Dread."

[–]RuleZeroDADMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Meh. He and I interact, and I'll agree he's bright and I like his book.

DEER are a culled species here. We agree to disagree on the point that spergy novices will fuck up based on the commingling of good parenting and removing attention and affection from your SO in order to get her to fuck you.

Attractive men get laid. Desperate men are easily spotted.

[–]mabdenMarried2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Bring the fun, so that Daddy Time is the highlight of your kids' days (and of yours as well).

Right fucking on. There isn't much better than walking through the front door and your kids rush over to hug you with, "Daddy's home!"

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

"how come the kids sleep so well after you have them all day"

I DO STUFF WITH THEM. (literally with them)

[–]AechzenMRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I wear them the fuck out, and then they fall asleep.

[–]screechhaterMRP APPROVED2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Bing fuckin O........ so many guys get into, she won't let me take the baby ten feet away. Did yuh not help create the child ? Engage, mother fuckers, engage ! They only have one father, and you're it !!!!

[–]RedNorseSteel1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

When I first started my journey and the wife was losing her shit I took my kids out all day. We went to the playground and played where I grew up and then went hiking in the mountains for 3 hours. When I got home at 9:00 pm she was sweet. This stuff works.

[–]BobbyPeruMRP Approved1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good post - outside the box

I find this to be true with just about anything that detracts from her being the center of attention. I've even played my acoustic guitar in bed, and after about 10 minutes she starts almost begging for attention. Dogs will work too.

Ultimately, it has to be for your own enjoyment (not just for dread) though, or it's really just another form of oneitis in disguise.

[–]BluepillProfessorMarried-MRP MODERATOR3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is awesome work. Thanks for this contribution.

I don't think I ever considered Kid Dread but I bet this works like a charm.

I think it may not work quite the same way to generate sexual attraction however, because you are not a threat to leave her or "cheat" if you have your kids with you. Of course the theory is that "Dread" causes an unconscious reaction of attraction in women to a threat to sexual fidelity with their primary partner. It does this through secondary selection- other women want to fuck him so he must be fuckable- and through conscious and unconscious feelings of arousal when they are (slightly!!) anxious about the status of the relationship.

So your method engages the cognitive thinking brain, not the dino hind brain but works because nobody wants to miss out on fun! It also frames you as the leader! Win-Win.

However, if you can get the kids to offhandedly mention that pretty blonde girl kept touching daddy so we went to another ride.....well...that's the dread I was talking about in my book.

[–]bogeyd6MRP MODERATOR1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

In the super beta life as he begins to turn the corner. Mommy has been a mommy to everyone in the house. It creates a little dread and the dread turns into hope. Carefully managed it works, I wouldn't employ it per say based on corresponding actions from the wife. It's another tool in the tool box and let's wife feel more wanted instead of needed. OP got a little track here in pretending that his actions somehow matter to his wife. That's a given. The more under current fatherhood knows that spending time with your children away from mom is worth it's weight in gold.

[–]turn20left0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

My kids are a gift and a blessing. No matter what happens I will always give them my all. Spend time with them because one day they'll be on their own. I think about all the times I did things with my dad and I cherish them.

[–]KyfhoMyobaMRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

you have to disappear for the dread

Uhhh, I don't think that you've quite grasped the concept. You can elicit Dread just by getting a flirtatious response from the waitress... if your wife witnesses it.

[–]BluepillProfessorMarried-MRP MODERATOR0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I added this as a link to my post on Dread.. Nice work!

[–]SomeoneElseAlso-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is like one of those Onion news stories where I'm not sure at first glance if this is real or satire. Then I read it and get more confused.

I guess I thought all of that was just normal stuff that dads WANT TO DO. Not out of obligation, not because they think it might get them laid, but because they genuinely love their kids and enjoy being around them!

I genuinely thought red pill was about the truth. This post really muddles up that truth. I will go as far as to say it almost tells a lie. It certainly muddies the waters so much that it pisses me off and made me write this post. So I will explain the actual truth of the matter:

Here's how it really works: being a good caregiver to children is a beta blue activity that feeds the good feelz in your mate. You can't coat it in red and call it redpill. If you teach your kids manly activities, then it's a bonus! If you own the activity like the you should be owning your life, it's alpha. It may be "alpha" but it ain't redpill beyond "I so totally own my own shit that I am this awesome dad." It's one of the few if only areas where blue things furthers your red pill goals. Just do it in an alpha male way!

Win at kid time!

If being a good dad is the byproduct of thinking that you are playing dread game, and you have to convince yourself that getting laid is why you are doing it, then.... OK whatever works in your mind is ok i guess.... (but it's not the truth) and you are genuinely lying to yourself, unless your goal is to show your mate just how happy your kids are going to be when you turn her kids against her, divorce her, and take them away forever.

Red pill is about the truth, and that post has truth issues.

[–]nonnimooseFeemale4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I guess I thought all of that was just normal stuff that dads WANT TO DO. Not out of obligation, not because they think it might get them laid, but because they genuinely love their kids and enjoy being around them!

I personally know many woman with severe control issues who, consciously or not, sabotage their husband's efforts to bond with his own children. It's not good for anyone - mom, dad and certainly not the kids. The men may WANT to be active dads, but it doesn't feel "normal" because these wives make it stressful. The women have all these "rules of engagement" and henpeck so much that there is no fun. They end up resenting their husbands for not helping out even though they're the major cause of it.

This post underscores the importance, for the entire family, of pushing through "mommy resistance."



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