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I’ve discussed this in the comments a few times, enough where I feel a post is warranted. The benefits of sports are often discussed, but in particular, wrestling (or BJJ as others have suggested but I have no experience in) is a sport that can provide immense value to a boy as he develops. Other sports, like soccer and baseball, have their place, can be lots of fun, good exercise, etc. but they are fundamentally different from wrestling. Those are “fun” activities. Wresting is not “fun”, maybe sometimes, but in general, it is better categorized as “rewarding”. I have gained so much value from that one sport, I’m hoping to help repay society by “spreading the word”.

1. Mental toughness: The sport is one of few that can truly test and expand your mental toughness. To be successful you need to put in the work. Nobody can just show up and be good, it is all about the training. “Matches aren’t won during the match.” I tell my son regularly, “tonight you have practice, and so does the kid you are wrestling on Saturday. You win your match tonight, they just won’t raise your hand until Saturday.”

During practice you are pushed hard, challenging your physical capabilities, where you will learn that you are stronger, faster, tougher than you thought you were. But even more than physical strength, the mental training is where you learn to win. Focus and devoted repetition is necessary to become successful. IMO wrestling is quite literally a physical game of chess, but one where there are no “turns”, you get to make moves as fast as you can think of them. You find yourself in various positions, where there are usually bad, good, better and best moves you can do. Focus during practice will help you learn what you should do, repetition will convert the knowledge of what to do into muscle-memory. When you see an elite wrestler, it is the definition of poetry in motion. Smoothly moving from position to position, knowing where they are, having a plan that results in them achieving the pin.

The parallels to life are immense. In my life, I’ve been able to draw on toughness I’ve learned from wrestling. When I have a life goal I’m able to put forth the focus to understand the challenge, the inner-drive to KNOW that I can achieve this goal, the intelligence to develop a plan, and the endurance to do whatever it takes to become successful (or fail knowing that I literally did everything that could be done, learn from the experience, and hold my head high). In my professional world, I (my company) am admired and feared, depending on what your relation to me is. Competitors are careful to not cross my lane. I thrive on competition. Being immersed in such a pure competitive environment conditions you to push down the fear of failing and excel under pressure.

2. Self-reliance: You are the only one on the mat. It isn’t like soccer, where you can suck and still go home a “winner”. When my kid wins or loses a soccer game, you can tell it doesn’t really mean much to him either way. All kids intrinsically know this, and they know you are full of shit when you congratulate them for winning when they know full well that they sucked. Lately there has been a lot of backlash against “participation trophies”, while I believe the criticism is coming from a good place, I believe that it still misses the mark. A kid shouldn’t be congratulated for winning, even if they were the best one on the field, they should be congratulated for performing at their peak and constantly working to improve themselves. This is back to the old “reward hard work not raw talent”. My kid is naturally gifted athletically and mentally. This is a fact, not a brag. Because of this, I’m acutely aware that he can fall into the trap of putting in minimal effort and being successful. If he doesn’t learn these lessons now, one day those who learned to work hard for success will overtake him, the day where natural talent cannot take you any farther.

In seeing my son easily excel since a young age, I knew wrestling would be a must for him. You simply cannot walk on and win, not consistently. He needs to get beat down, pushed around the mat, and learn that if he is to be successful he needs to put in the work. After putting in countless hours of grueling work, a successful day is infinitely more rewarding.

Alternatively, if you kid is “average”, or even below average physically, wresting is still perfect for him. No, he won’t be a walk-on success, but, if he puts in the work, he will eventually get there. For one there are weight classes, so even if he is scrawny, that is equalized. The main point though, it will help him learn that his only limitations are in his mind, and with work they can be overcome. Finally winning will be a major achievement and confidence booster.

3. Role models: In wrestling usually your team is composed of kids ranging in age. This gives your son to see older kids who have walked the walk and are now reaping the rewards. Sons naturally look up to older boys, so having well-disciplined and successful older boys as teammates is a great benefit. I remember the feeling of having the team captain come to me after a match to tell me how awesome I did, how he liked my double leg takedown, and to keep working hard, it is paying off. As much as you can hear things like that from your parents/teachers/coaches, somehow hearing it from an older kid who is well respected is just different. They don’t have to say shit, so you know there is no BS. Also, when you are 8, a 17-year-old who competes at the state level is pretty close to a superhero. When they tell you “if you keep working hard you can be better than me”, it’s like superman telling you to keep trying and you’ll get off the ground one day, and he means it.

4. Social Order: That bully at school who happens to be bigger didn’t do shit, he was just born that way. That bully also has relied on his size as his only advantage. Even an average wrestler will turn a non-wrestler into a pretzel regardless of size. That is the kind of confidence a kid can use to help navigate the difficult social matrix of school. Having the confidence to know that you won’t be beaten to a pulp allows you to navigate the inevitable social pecking order process with much less stress and more confidence. The benefits of self-confidence, especially for kids going through the stages of adolescence is very well known. Unfortunately for girls, their social world is a whole other Pandora's box. But for boys, being well known as a successful athlete who can defend himself physically already puts you in a great position. As he gets older and becomes interested in relationships, that confidence will of course be a benefit.

5. Physical Fitness: Health and nutrition are important “skills” for any person to have. Wrestling is incredibly demanding, and there is a major focus on building your healthy body and learning proper nutritional habits. This isn’t particularly unique to wresting, but it is definitely a benefit. You aren’t going to spend half a year shoving your face full of shit if you know that next season is around the corner, and your competition is still training hard and staying in shape. Also, if you haven’t had the experience, the amount of physical exertion that goes on in those few minutes is unlike nearly any other sport or activity. The cardio, strength and endurance you gain from years of training is immense.

Carrying physical and nutritional fitness into adulthood is probably one of the most important ways to ensure a happy and healthy life. Do you think my in-person business proposals are met more favorably than my competitors who show up looking like a fat sweaty mess? Do you think I was able to marry a much better wife? Do you think I will live longer and with less stress from preventable health issues? I hope you don’t need me to answer that…

6. Behavior: If your kid is high energy (aka normal young boy), and especially if they have ADHD (aka normal young boy), the intense physical and mental workout can help to “calm down” a kid, allowing them to be more focused and controlled. I’m not a doctor, but if you have a kid with ADHD you will find lots of resources discussing the benefits of intense physical activity. The kid is just too tired to fuck around.

7. Bonding and camaraderie: After years of working hard, training, failing, succeeding, and routing for your teammates, you will develop a great sense of pride and camaraderie for your team. I imagine this is similar in sports like football. Having genuine friends and a place where you feel like you “belong” is important for child development. When a kid is isolated at school and comes home to an empty house, video games and Cheetos, you have a recipe for disaster. Growing up I had a great network of friends who genuinely cared about me and would have my back any time.

8. Self-defense: Later in life, you will still have the skills you learned, at least the important stuff. One of the roles as a man is to protect your family. Again, in this case wrestling isn’t unique, as other martial arts can achieve this, but this is just another one of the benefits. Later in life if he wants to pursue other martial arts, a wrestling background will be a major advantage. When he is a parent, he will be able to pass along his knowledge and enthusiasm for the sport, extending the benefits for years.

One of the last discussions I had with my grandfather before he passed was about wresting. I had recently stopped (since I had graduated HS), and had decided against doing it in college. He said “Don’t think of it like you are quitting. Quitting is what you would have done after the first season, you did it most of your life. You are moving on, carry your experiences with you. You’ll never know when you will use it again.” At the time, I thought he meant specifically for self-defense. Now after writing this I think he was talking more about all of the other personal growth the sport helped me develop.