A new Canadian study that explores the sex lives of first-time parents has produced a surprising finding that could serve as a caution to well-meaning fathers.

The one-time survey of 255 first-time parents with infants, published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, found that new mothers reported lower sexual desire when their partner expressed more empathy - a finding that turns conventional wisdom on its head.

"We had results that are all in line with empathy being good for both people, and then we have this one little finding that wasn't consistent," said the study's lead author, Halifax-based psychologist Natalie Rosen. "I would like to replicate this in other studies before drawing grand conclusions."

Rosen speculated that some fathers are perhaps so intent on helping their wives deal with the challenges of parenthood that they assume avoiding sex is the best policy.

"They might be saying they're OK with less sex," said Rosen, a professor with the Department of Psychology and Neuroscience at Dalhousie University.

"They might be saying, 'I'm just going to kind of back off no matter what sexual needs I might have.' That might actually lower the desire that the woman has."

Rosen, who also works as a sex therapist, said she sees this pattern when counselling those coping with sexual dysfunctions.

"Partners think they're being really understanding and supportive, but they're actually just reinforcing and encouraging avoidance ... It comes across as very supportive and both people think it's a good thing, but it reinforces ... that sex is not that important."

Rosen stressed that her speculation could be shot down by further research, so she offered another possible explanation. She said it might be a mistake to assume that the fathers' increased empathy caused reduced sexual desire in their partners, when the causal link might be the other way around. In other words, the new mothers who reported reduced sexual desire may in fact be causing their partners to express more empathy.

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