Leadership. It’s the one thing I am working on this week or at least consciously considering at all times. My OYS is coming down to this central theme.

Something always seemed off to me was MRP direction at being a better leader…because it usually stopped there. Other then some general comments about being a man. So I dug in to understand leadership better. Though a former military officer, an extraction team leader, I went in with the assumption I don't now dick about leadership. I did some research and rethinking the things I was taught and have learned about leadership. This is what I will be working on over the coming week.

There is quite likely a more thorough post on the topic. I submit it here for review, critique, and the possibility it might help someone else. The more experienced are going to read this and go "ahh yeah" trouble is that its peppered through out MRP and not condensed into the MRP idea of the leadership principle...or I have yet to find it. BUT….my search fu sucks, and there is use in ME doing this work instead of just reading it.

Here are my initial thoughts, and my plan to proceed.

Defined: Leadership can come from two different sources: Power and Respect.

Power as a source is obvious. If you can next them, they will obey you or not…but you hold the power. MRP teaches men how to regain their power. Trouble is…it can be addictive if it goes to your head.

Respect as a source means your wife knows you are doing the right thing even if she may disagree at times. If you know their job so well you can do it yourself better than they could they should respect you and trust you. You should also being your job. This is basic, but it needed to be said.

i believe I have power maybe not as much as I should, but I do. I suspect as i work on the other principle (Respect) my power will increase. Several times in the last couple months my wife has freaked at the thought of divorce. This button was also brought out prior to my MRP journey. I am not sure what she is afraid of more. Loosing me or having yet another person in her family divorced. Doesn’t matter really…I need to follow this path. The respect part is what I am going to be focusing on.

Here are the steps and tenants I plan on using as my guide. Whether I am doing them currently or not, I am going to put them into the context of leadership so that I have a better mindset. So this may seem ridiculous and a repeat of MRP principles, but I found the exercise useful in focusing my energy on improving leadership alone.

Be Consistent:

Say what you mean, mean what you say, and follow-through on your commitments. Most people don’t have to agree with you 100% of the time, but they do need to trust you 100% of the time. Trust cannot exist where leaders are fickle, inconsistent, indecisive, or display a lack of character. Never be swayed by consensus that calls you to compromise your values, rather be guided by doing the right thing. Finally, know that no person is universally right or universally liked, and become at peace with that.

Sounds familiar right? I am going make sure I am consistent in word and action. Keeping a diary and not trust my memory.

Importance Factor:

this would fall into the passing shit tests. Not everything is a big deal. Remember that it’s not important be right, and more importantly, that you don’t have to be right for the right things to be accomplished. avoid conflict for the sake of conflict, better still learn to identify it early

I think I do well here. Several times I have defused arguments and even walked out of them as MRP says. The next day results have been amazing…but no sex. Any case I am going to be focused more on this and trying to get above average positive results.

Make Respect a Priorit

Disagreement and disrespect are two different things. Regardless of whether or not perspectives and opinions differ, a position of respect should be adhered to and maintained.

This is probably where I am failing the biggest. I am going to be more mindful of disrespect and nip immediately.

Define Acceptable Behavior:

Goes without saying. There are times I feel like I’ve run out of carrots and sticks. But I am going to go with the assumption that I have poorly defined acceptable behavior.

Deal With Conflict Head-on:

I think I am doing well here. Still…as I push other areas others will create more conflict I certainly do need to be aware of it when it happens.

Conflict is an Opportunity:

The Obstacle Is The Way shows that conflict, difficulty is not a problem but an opportunity. So far every issue she has had with the outside world I have taken it as an opportunity to show her something she isn’t seeing. Teaching her. I need to find more times to do this.

Purpose:

Everyone who works for me knows that I care about them as an individual. They are important to me. They know that I’ll go to great lengths to work with them so long as one thing remains the focus point – the good of the team.

I need to figure out how to transform this into my relationship