So I've been adapting to the heavy load of lifting, running and biking all week. Great habits after three months of conditioning. Now I'm increasing the intensity. Getting stronger and... Well, you know-

So Friday nights are a double load. I lift at lunch. Friday, we take kids swimming. I do a second run of lifting. Helps close off secondary muscle routines to finish my week. Problem is I'm wound up at night. Like I've had 5 coffees.

Wife is on the rag, and I'm just seething with testosterone, ready to pop. I make my move and she goes cold. I'm standing there with her tits hanging out, and she is not into it. I slowly fix them back into her brah, and smack her ass to go to bed. Wipe my hands like a dealer in black jack. I'm out.

I'm Cocky in expression. Seething inside, but also laughing at how it felt like a cartoon.

I sit and try to watch 'better call saul' but I'm just too wound up. I want to move. Tired of sitting around. And I ain't gonna fap. That shit is weak and diminishes me every time.

So I say 'fuck it' and drive downtown. Walk through a crowd of club hoping teenagers. And I feel old and rusty. I lose my nerve a block later and head back to car along another path but and find a chill bar. Chillwave music. Nice. Decide to push my limits.

I'm chatting with waitress. She is pleasant. I enjoy the pretend flirting. I'm just having fun. I know this is part of her job. I tell her my mood to dance. She gets the owner over and he chats me up. Gives me his card and tells me to go to dance club next door, to explain to them that I know him and they'll take care me.

Waitress makes comment about going home soon, later I realize the way she said it, was probably an opening for me to invite her. Even if not, it would have been good practice. I'll catch that next time. Now let me be clear. I'm gaming without want to score. I'm trying to oil my rusty moves, get my alpha confidence back and grow bigger muscles to game the wife.

After enjoying social time, I head over to club. Louder than expected. It was fun. Danced. Got my rocks off. Chatted it up with guy named Tyler. Girl who dropped her ID yipyapped with me. Great practice socializing. Lots more little things. It was a lot of fun.

Next morning wife apologizes for being cold. I'm cool. I don't look to mention anything. Dunno if she even knew I went out. I'm more concerned about looking butt hurt for getting shot down. She finally asks where I went. She did hear me leave.

I tell tell her some highlights. That I had fun doing the solo things like the good old days. She laughs at my stories and their delivery. Social proofed?

She pulls a sparkle from my pillow asking me whose makeup this was. Her smirk was playful, yet sinister.

I realize that the bedroom door is closed. Her intension was privacy from the kids. She never closes it to wake me. So i tear her housecoat open. Handle her body like a chew toy and aggressively lead her to blow me. It was awesone.

I clued in later that she had woken me up with an apology instead of bitching me out for partying. 180° shift from 1 year ago, when I first swallowed.

It was the first time I went out purely for my own fun, instead of doing it to dread her. Dread was simply a byproduct. Wow.

Thanks MRP. I'm getting there.