10 days ago I got a crick in my neck. I looked awkward for a few days but not much to see during the day any longer, but the nights are awful. It feels like I wake up every hour with neck pain when I turn in bed and I'm seriously sleep deprived. Libido is way, way down so no sex (a rather lame attempt even counts negative I guess).

I'm not really bringing the alpha. She's been bitching more than usual, as expected, but not much to do about it except get better.

Yesterday after work she's acting weirder. I go out to get take away when she texts me "I hear you're trying to sleep with other women." It's a fairly ridiculous thing to write since I was home 10 minutes earlier and would soon be home again, so I text her "sounds bad". I'm also totally in the clear, I haven't done anything except talking to people and being cocky, and there haven't even been much of that lately. I don't even think I got any serious IOIs since I got my last haircut.

She's really frosty during the evening, and acting like I've actually done something. She's had some ideas like this back before the red pill so I'm not too worried. We don't talk much about it but I mostly pressure flip/nuke it - I'm not surprised but still somewhat offended that all it takes is a malicious rumor to set her against me, and oddly I'm provoked that she wrote that I "tried". It's not that my game is 100% so I would necessarily get lucky first time, but it wouldn't take long if that was what I wanted. She doesn't get that she's the one in the wrong and I tell her to sleep on what a proper reaction to malicious rumors is.

That didn't work, the next morning she is still angry. When one of the kids can't find something she tells him that they're moving to a small apartment where it will be easier to find things. She keeps on making these sorts of offhand remarks in front of the kids which eventually sets me off and I lose it and grab her and tell her to leave the kids out of it.

She stops talking about in front of the kids after that, but she keeps on saying she wants to move out, and I tell her paranoia is getting the better off her and I don't engage further. Eventually she asks me where I was Thursday; I don't know what she heard but I'm totally covered all day with bridge toll receipts and meeting referees will be mailed out next week. I just tell her that I was at a meeting; I'm not taking her shit seriously and if I show her documentation she'll just make her story fit around it so she has to go first. It's feelz not realz stuff.

The rest of the day I just go about my day, do some stuff with the kids (had a very unpleasant talk with my 6 year old son about how mom didn't mean it when she said she was moving), watch some TV, etc. I go up to her and pull her into me or grab her ass a few times, but it is all cold shoulder still and I'm OI at the rejection and carry on.

Late in the evening she thaws and comes up me with a Gottman 7 principles of love poster and says if we are to make this work we need to work on this. I bought the book for her back before the red pill, and it actually isn't bad advice for the wife, so I have no problem with it.

We have a long talk. It's very calm but serious. She throws a lot of praise at me (bullshit beta stuff like the work I do at home and what I do with the kids, like I do that for her) but she thinks I've withdrawn from the relationship; honestly I love her more than I ever did (which I tell her) and in generak she seems super happy too (the last 10 days notwithstanding). She says she thinks I should share more with her; I hardly ever feel like asking anyone for support, not before the red pill either, and the one time my therapist convinced me to ask my wife for support she shat all over and was clearly disgusted (I tell her that too, but this point I've made the mistake of thinking I can communicate with her). Then she begins with trust and rebuilding it and not being critical and tearing eachother down and yadda yadda. She has a point with some of it - I sometimes fall into my old habits of talking trash about her with all the other husbands like they do about theirs and I like it a lot more when I tell them the truth. I have fun with her most of the time now.

I then ask her how the trust and respect applies to her and bring up the infidelity accusations she just threw at me, her threatening to leave, the stuff she did during our dead bedroom period. And what do you know, in her mind she's a saint who did nothing wrong. Female solipsism at its finest.

So surprise, this didn't bring about introspection on her part. She's just got a strong frame and she almost pulled me into it.

Also I can't remember when she said it, but she also again said she wanted another child (just hours after she threatened to leave, girls).

The amazing thing about this whole incident was that I wasn't worried. Before I'd be shitting bricks about stuff like this, but I had no problems falling asleep. Involving the kids was the only thing that got to me, but other than that I was fine. I not only get her now, I've internalized it. MRP has not been about faking it, it has been about unlearning the blue pill bullshit and reclaiming my masculinity.

So, there it is. Get sick and she'll test your frame, hard. It was also interesting to see how she adapted her strategy; when the fury didn't work she tried to negotiate.

Now I got to get my damn neck in order so I can sleep again and back to full strength.