This update can hopefully give insight to newbies as to the things that can happen as you travel the early stages of this road.

I left work late so wife was a little put out but arranged dinner for my return, on the way home I called and advised that I had a work call 30 minutes after I get home so I am going to be rushed. Arrive home to a nice steak dinner with red wine everyone chatted about their day, all good, and then I ran off to take my call. During the call she snuck with a glass of wine and I put the phone on mute kissed her and said ‘love you’ and went back to the meeting. So all looking good…how quickly it can change…

I am reading MMSLP and really enjoying it. The idea of surprise outings in the book has caught my attention. My wife has mentioned she really wants to go back to a particular restaurant and we have discussed the kids are old enough to be left alone for an hour or two early in the evening … so I intended to pull the pin on this plan tomorrow. As my meeting finishes I google the restaurant to confirm hours and head out to the kitchen where my wife says “remind me I have a work call tomorrow at 7:30PM”. I say “pity, I had a surprise for you tomorrow night, oh well”. “What was the surprise?” I respond with a smile, “are you new to the concept of ‘surprise’?; doesn't matter, another time”. She keeps pushing me, offers to cancel the meeting and I say it is fine, another time, and then my youngest wants me to read her a bedtime story and I am out of there.

After the story I make my big blunder. My wife needs comfort/attention, but I grab the iPad and start a game. She mentions a form for childcare she got today and wanted to know dates I could be available and she mentioned a few days and I gave her yes and no as appropriate still poking the iPad. “Put down the iPad, this is important”. My mind is thinking, ‘oh crap, she has a bit of paper she got today, claiming it is urgent and it allows her to force me to stop whatever I am doing?’ Even if what I am doing is completely trivial I can’t give into this shit test now. I keep playing and say “I’m listening, I said yes to Tuesday and Thursday”. Now she gets bitchy and screechy “Put down the iPad! This is important!” I walk away downstairs to where the boys are watching TV. “Where are you going!?” “Downstairs, I’m not going to hang around you while you are being a bitch”. I get downstairs and she storms down after me. I get up and walk back upstairs “Where are you going now!?” “I told you, I’m not going to hang around you while you are being a cow”. Walk through the kitchen put down the iPad, out the front door and go for a walk for 30+ minutes. It was a cool walk, I saw 2 owls and a few bats…nature went out of its way to lift my spirits and keep me in frame.

I come back home walk downstairs and my wife is cuddling one of the boys and they both say “hi dad”, wife says nothing. We watch Big Bang for a bit and then the boys get up to go to bed I follow them in kiss them good night and walk back to the kitchen and start cleaning up (wife cooks, I clean up). Wife walks up stairs “come downstairs and watch {favorite show} with me.” I thought ooooo Comfort Test, then I realized she was still angry “angry sad” as a poster here described a concealed shit test. “No thanks, I am doing this, I don’t like {favorite show}” Keeping unloading dish washer. Wife angrier “come downstairs and cuddle me while I watch {favorite show}, you like that”. “Yeah I do, but you were a bitch, I actually don’t want to be with you now”. Her: “Stop being angry!” I calmly turn around and say “Look at me, I am not angry in the slightest; I just don’t care”. Back to the dishwasher while she flips out. “What is ‘I don’t care’? Is that supposed to be a threat!” My head is screaming STFU but I turn and calmly say “No. I spent 10 plus years constantly caring if you were happy; it didn’t make you happy. I don’t care anymore.” I finish tidying up the kitchen in silence and she looks at me and asks “now what are you going to do? Come downstairs and watch something you want.” “No thanks, I am going to bed” She made complaints it was weird, too early etc. She followed me into bed and after I few minutes I realized my breathing was elevated and I didn’t want my wife to think I had ‘feelz’ so I got up went to the room where I have weights and did 15 minutes. Back to bed and straight to sleep.

I woke up first in the morning made coffee. Kids get up and then wife comes in, grab my coffee and walk to the shower. While I am in there she walks in dressed in her dressing gown grabs my dick and proceeds to suck my very disinterested dick. She complained she was getting wet, I laughed and said “are you now?” and moved out of the water flow. This is only the second time she has done this to me, the other time also after a fight. See stops, looks at me and says, “I reckon it has added 2 inches”, me “It does do a range of sizes doesn’t it?”, her “just a taste now, we’ll finish it tonight”, me “perhaps you need a shower tonight too” (offering to reciprocate as I usually can’t go down unless she is showered). She starts to walk away, turns around and finishes what she started. She has never given me a BJ in the shower since we’ve been married. As I get ready for work she is as happy as anything. I consciously thought I am not going be overtly thankful or gushy, so I just went about with my business and actually gave her a task to do (call to get a time we can pick up a new purchase on the weekend) and she was all “will do” like it was the most important funnest thing in the world. Kiss her and the kids goodbye and as I ride to work I am just: WTF this is hard work but boy are there pay offs!

I literally could not have handled this as well as I did without the posts I've read on this sub. Awesome.