How much would you pay a month to not be married?

bogeyd6 · 2015-10-20T16:25:18+00:00

It is oddly disturbing you are making a decision on a life partner based solely on the cost of health care. Generally a man makes a decision on a woman based on a whole host of factors. MRP is a place that folks who made the decision to get married come to the table to discuss. If your decision to become married is based solely on the fact of paying bills, then I would recommend you next her. Not for you, but for her sake, so she can get out there and find her AF/BB man.

I made a decision to be married and start a family. That's how I was raised. When I married her, part of that agreement is I would provide resources. You are obviously not wanting to provide resources and with something as important as health insurance you are making a poor choice for her.

RedCML · 2015-10-20T18:26:08+00:00

This is seriously fucked up way of looking at marriage. You are comparing your contribution of $150 to the services she provides in terms of cooking and cleaning. That's not how any of this works...

But I'll roll with it:

First, you can't get a house keeper in the States for $150 that will both cook and clean throughout the month.

Second, marriage is far, far, far, far, far, far more expensive than $150/month. I pay AT&T $150/month and they fuck me constantly. A wife won't do that for you!

Rasalom72 · 2015-10-20T16:19:13+00:00

The question you are NOT asking yourself is, "How much value is she bringing to my life?" Do you want to keep her around? Just because marriage is such a crappy deal, doesn't mean you have to skip it... just protect yourself as best you can, go into it with eyes wide open and make sure that you are the man you need to be.

If she is worth having kids with, and she adds value to your life, then you need to look at the laws in your area and if you are going to be legally married/ common law anyways.

If she's not worthy, then cut her loose and go back to spinning plates.

Redneck001 · 2015-10-20T17:22:42+00:00

How much would you pay per month not to be married?

50% or less sounds fair, in today's society.

The old joke is:

Q. Why is divorce so expensive?

A. It's worth it.

My wife hates that joke.

cholomite · 2015-10-20T18:09:17+00:00

She's a fixer upper. If you don't want to have a SAHM...

what chances are there she will have a good career? How fiscally responsible is she? I'm guessing poor on both fronts. You can get another sexhole for much cheaper.

You can always do what redonculus.com did, calculate her costs over 7, 13 and 21 years, compared to the cost of a hooker+nanny over the same timespan. It's a pretty cold cost benefit analysis, but does put it into perspective.

I would suggest having her pay her own way, and not saving her. Every time I buckled on this in my life, I've sacraficed things... They wern't dealbreakers, but subsidizing someones inability to support themselves isn't really worth it in retrospect

If I was having that conversation, it's simple. I have to be with someone who can support themselves.

Having said that, mine is at the point where she finally is... took a good 6 years to get to that though.

wolfhawk706 · 2015-10-20T18:04:53+00:00

$150 a month is a lot?? You're not ready to be married if decisions like this one over $40 are this hard...

whinemoreplease · 2015-10-20T15:52:51+00:00

I am tired of guys who aren't married coming here asking advice on how to NOT be married.

RedPill808 · 2015-10-20T16:22:53+00:00

Congrats on avoiding marriage! As others have said, why are you paying to keep a girlfriend? She's an adult, not your child. Treat her as such. STOP PAYING.

rocknrollchuck · 2015-10-20T17:38:29+00:00

If she's worth marrying, regardless of the money situation, then do it. If she's not, then don't. The money "savings" is really a separate issue. It basically comes to $110 per month ($150/mo. if not married minus $40/mo. if married).

Take the money issue off the table and ask yourself "Do I think this one is worth marrying, or not?" Don't use the money reason to determine if you should get married or not - it should be based on whether she is marriage material. Period. If she is worth marrying, then do it if that's what you want. Sounds like you're really not sure if it would work. It's a risk either way.

And fwiw, $150/mo. isn't exactly small potatoes but it's not a HUGE sum of money either. If it is that big of a deal, then maybe you should think about ways to increase your income first.

thenarrrowpath · 2015-10-20T21:06:30+00:00

Stop telling her you will support her and stop paying for anything of hers. Are you living together? Because that's where the common law will get you. You need to elaborate more on your living situation and your state's laws regarding common law. When you pay for things on a consistent basis you can get yourself in trouble should you stop paying and she makes a big deal of it.

Second, you made a wise decision to not get married so stick with it. You will inevitably get into a fight with her about this. Try to frame the argument as if you're bucking the old trends. Cohabitation is a big thing among my generation (millenials) and as you already know marriage rates are falling. Convey this to her as if your trying to contribute to equality among the genders (which you are doing by way of RP). Remember this is a partnership you're trying to cultivate, not a dependency. She needs to bring shit to the table as well, especially if you go the co-habitation route.

suhurley · 2015-10-20T20:50:42+00:00

What was her reaction when she learned that you for sure do not ever want to get married?

RPSigmaStigma · 2015-10-20T23:10:53+00:00

When I was living with my fiance (now wife) I was able to put her on my insurance as a domestic partner. I don't know if that's a per-plan thing, or a per-state thing, but you might want to ask your insurance company about it.

2015-10-21T20:54:40+00:00

Pay for the insurance. It's sooo much cheaper.

cholomite · 2015-10-20T15:42:32+00:00

Dude, she's a grown woman who either needs to accept you aren't her caregiver and therefore needs a better job or you guys need to split so she can find her sugar daddy.

You are a Man and you don't owe anybody anything. Trust me, nobody gives a fuck about you so try to stop being the romantic Man you are and recognize that you don't have to 'save the damsel' from big bad insurance.

My wife makes roughly 35k and I make roughly 47k, we split shit evenly. Not because she is my wife but because that's how I operate. I'm the friend who will split the check evenly and not crunch pennies.

You have to make the call. Maybe you should get a girl who can get a job with benefits. There's no reason to just accept mediocrity, tell her you'll pay her insurance for 6 months and then it's cut off. Whatever you want to do, do that thing.

EDIT I wouldn't pay to keep a girlfriend. If you tell her you aren't paying her insurance and she says it's over, move the fuck on because she wants the benefits. In the military we call those the, You had me at TriCare girls.

ruse_of_metacarpi · 2015-10-20T22:34:55+00:00

Good gosh man. Just pay the 150 and be happy you still have the choice.

unassumingusername7 · 2015-10-20T18:03:46+00:00

Damn half the comments are coming from sad little men trying to delegitimize your relationship because you didn't make the same mistake as them. MRP is a bucket full of crabs, apparently. To answer your ACTUAL question, without insulting you or your choices: $150 a month seems cheap to me. She seems like a good woman to understand why you can't get married in today's climate. She built her life around you, that's a serious investment on her part. If the situation you two have is working for you, $150/month is a steal compared to marriage.

To the commenters who can't respect your 10 year relationship because you didn't fill out your "good little beta drone" papers with the state, fuck you. You lost. No need to drag this man down. Have fun being married to the state.

littlelibertine · 2015-10-20T16:09:02+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	How much would you pay a month to not be married?
Author	cholomite
Upvotes	5
Comments	117
Date	October 20, 2015 3:35 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/3pi4qc/how_much_would_you_pay_a_month_to_not_be_married/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/how-much-would-you-pay-a-month-to-not-be-married.200833 https://theredarchive.com/post/200833