The best warnings are the ones you receive before the opposition is at your door step. Once they're already there, you're forced to react, and I'm all about proactivity. So I'm bringing you 5 gigantic red flags to look for early on, before you get trapped with a preggo gold digger.

My job affords me 2 things: Unlimited Access to the Inner Workings of the Modern Woman and Observation Time. With such tools at my disposal, I've decided to continue bringing my fellow men valuable information in this laughing stock we call modern society/dating.

These will be ranked in descending order, so 5 being the least and 1 being the worst.

5.A Messy Purse

Now, to clarify, a messy room is the number one indicator, but you might not see her room on the first date. A messy purse is a MAJOR indicator of what kind of woman you're dealing with. It's something so small and personal, and if you can't manage to take care of that it says a ton about the person you are. These women are usually out of shape(even if they're skinny) and are sporting a chubby stomach beneath that well thought out dress/blouse. They're usually irresponsible and disorganized.

Male Equivalent: Guys with busted haircuts/lineups. Ever see a guy in serious need of a fade(short hair) or a stylist(long hair)? How messy and sloppy he looks? Same deal.

4.Ugly Friends

Some guys would say slutty friends, but I've met enough good girls who surround themselves with sluts to emphasize their chastity. It's a new trend. But the cute girl with all ugly friends? This is the one to look out for. She's insecure and most important she's a skilled planner and manipulator. She has to keep these friends around with enough cute boys and good times to make her valuable and establish her leadership, but she can't make them feel too insecure or they'll walk.

Women are manipulative by nature, but it's usually in the short game. These women are long game specialists and must be kept at arm's distance at all times.

Male Equivalent: Guys with loser friends. Make themselves feel better and needed.

3.Women With Plastic Surgery

There's a massive problem nowadays where men are utterly oblivious to their own biochemistry, incorrigibly ignorant to their own attractions. They see big tits or big butts or big lips and get hard and assume it means she's a winner.

You like these things because they are indicators of fertility. It's the entirety of the beauty industry is based around making women look more fertile. We as men are forced to accept that women are allowed to lie about hair length, how pretty they really are, push up bras, heels, and all the other lies we call "fashion", but plastic surgery is the straw that breaks this camel's back.

It's a permanent lie, one that doesn't disappear when you spends the night. You're accepting the idea that dating/mating isn't about progeny. You're feeding into the narcissistic complex of "YOLO". It's willful ignorance.

If you see a woman with fake anything, she's wearing her insecurity on her literal and metaphoric chest. Use this insecurity to your knowledge to obtain whatever it is you want as long as that thing isn't a long term, healthy relationship.

Male Equivalent: There is no male equivalent.

2.Women with tattoos.

All tattoos. I don't even give a fuck if it's something hidden or that cute little thing on her ankle. Women with tattoos are the biggest sluts out there. I see tattoos and I zero in like a fucking homing missile. Anyone that nonchalant about their future, anyone so short-sighted, anyone who so openly rejecting social standards is not someone you want to keep around you.

The bigger and more gaudy the tattoo, the more damaged the girl. Those huge thigh tats are like those warning signs on gates "ANGRY DOG BEWARE". Guys that are into tattooed girls are the most infuriating human beings on the planet.

1.Women With Short Hair

I will be extremely blunt and frank about this: Women with short hair are the most damaged creatures on this planet. Any woman who willfully destroys one of the three most feminine indicators is a woman who isn't the kind of woman you want---It's like women who treat their kids badly or women who get fat: men want women with long hair, who are good mothers and stay attractive. Women's hair, love, and body are vital indicators of their femininity.

I've never---and by never I mean I've met about 400-500 women so my never isn't some small, isolated sample size---met a woman with short hair who didn't turn out to be mentally ill of some variety. They're always crawling with red flags within 30 seconds to 30 minutes.

Stay the fuck away. I'm serious. This isn't one of those cases where I say bang it out and runaway. No. Women destroying their hair is a line that I can't cross. I refuse to reward it and you should do the same.

Someone great once said, "People can't wait to tell you exactly who they are, most people just want them to be who they want them to be." These 5 red flags are ones women can't wait to share with you and when you see them don't talk yourself into it. Don't rationalize it.

Recognize these flags for what they are and stop throwing all your eggs into a basket full of them.