Some quick context: I recently discovered my wife had sex with two guys (separately) a couple years before we married, we now have children, she hid it until I caught her in a lie and discovered the truth. No cheating since. Original post here
Since that post, she has completely opened up that it was cheating, she was in denial. She has been showing extremely apologetic behaviour, and we have together identified a lot of issues that culminated it in happening (though I take no responsibility for her choices) and discussed how to move forward. She insists she learned a valuable lesson and would never repeat that again. She was young, confused, and made some bad decisions.
In my original post I had not mentioned that we we became involved at an early age and we were both virgins, and we had never been with anyone else at the time she had cheated. Obviously I was under the impression she had not been with anyone else either, until now. So I think she did a bit of 'making up for missing out' while she had a chance, while I have never been out on my own.
Now, she has offered me a hall pass. She believes that I am highly likely to cheat now (she knew I was looking at escorts, and if she can satisfy my feelings of revenge and being with other people, at least it's in a controlled environment, and that I will purge my system and we can move forward.
I feel entitled to take what I want - I have no internal dilemma in wanting to see what it's like with other people (an experience I was robbed of), and get what I want sexually that she doesn't give. However, I do not know what a hall pass would change with us. She is admittedly unsure how she would react if I followed through. I firmly believe that if I'm willing to accept her actions and lying and move forward, that she should also be willing to make the same sacrifice, especially since she made the offer.
She knows I have one foot out the door after the reveal. Maybe this is her way of trying to keep me around by satisfying my own needs in the hopes that I will come back around and we can move forward together.
What do you guys think?
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