Repost from TRP: Guy and the married girl...

hamsterbaiting · 2015-07-07T14:53:45+00:00

I went through some shit a little less than a month ago. Long story short my girlfriend (wife now) cheated on me in 2006 when I left for bootcamp(Engaged in 2007 after making her go through a deployment to see what she was getting into then we married in 2008). We had been together for 3 years and I was a beta fuck so when I left ‘Jodie’ found her and kept her company for a month.

I didn’t know, she never told me. I came back from bootcamp a Man and we have a solid relationship ever since. I found out about her cheating and went through some serious introspection.

These thoughts popped into my head and relate somewhat to what you’re discussing.

So when faced with the infidelity problem are you still plan B?

AWALT, I got it. What I didn’t get was why did she stay with me. She had her dude, she could have left me, but she stayed. I wasn’t making money (check 2006 E-1 payscale), she didn’t need Tricare, she wasn’t a potential dependapotomous as she was fit, had a solid job, etc.

She said I came back a different Man, that I was in charge and on a mission and she knew she wanted to be a part of it. Basically, she compared Jodie and I and I came out on top. I went on to have a successful run in the Navy and honorably separated last year. The Navy was my Rite of Passage into TRP, I’ve been fit, leading, and improving ever since. That’s why I was able to keep her and have a successful Marriage. Never a deadbedroom, never dealt with affairs (in the marriage), she hates feminism, and we’ve just been a solid fucking unit.

When I found out 9 years after the fact that my girlfriend cheated I felt as though I was her plan B. But… I also recognized that for almost a fucking decade I’ve been the dude fucking her long, hard, and often. After 2 kids, 2 deployments, over 600 days at sea, 5 moves, some pets, and the craziness of returning to the ‘civilian world’ we’ve been fucking solid. With her filling the role of wife, mom, and companion while I’m the leader, Husband, and father things just work.

As a Married Man you are not Plan B. You are the Life Plan, the one she thinks can provide for her, protect her, and satisfy her. As her husband she wants you to give her the tingles as well as being the one who gets her feelings. She wants to go out and show you off. You’re the prize, she wants the world to see how hot she is because she has the guy girls want

Sure, some guys are fucking losers whose wives know they’re fucking losers. Those cases are ones that the wife is already looking to jump ship, but for marriages that are being driven by a competent captain, I believe the wife sees you as the AlphaBux who she needs.

Are you settling for a broken woman?

Yes. It’s like crumpled paper, it can be opened up and pushed flat, but it will never be perfect again.

Though, I wouldn’t say settling. I didn’t settle for my wife, I deliberately, after some serious inflection, chose her. I had other options; she isn’t in my life because I couldn’t do better. She is around because I want her to be.

Unlike /u/stayingwithmycheater in this post I owned the cheating. I made her tell both of our parents and siblings what she did and that she was sorry and I made it clear that I had full access to all of her shit(Phone, Email, Etc.) but aside from that we continued down the path we were on.

There’s no ‘punishment’ as AWALT, it was a decade ago, and as Men we’re able to comprehend trend analysis. For 7 years I’ve had a wife that cooks, cleans, raises the kids the way I want (No excess snacks, TV, Manners, outdoors, learning responsibility and experiencing life vs being bought things), she works, is fit and motivated, we have nasty porn star sex, I can’t remember that last week I went without having sex at least 4 times.

I’ve had this for 7 years, AWALT, what do I gain by holding it over her head and playing the I’m the boss now, you OWE me game? That’s for the fake Alpha, the guy who doesn’t have respect but rather fear. I’ve been the leader, there’s nothing to change.

Most importantly, are you making the best long term decision for you, or is she making the decision for you that suits her the best?

For the Men who stay, all I can suggest is that you remove every outside influence. Shut the fuck up and don’t talk to or listen to ANYONE. It is YOUR call.

Fuck divorce rape, fuck the kids, fuck the house, fuck the embarrassment, fuck it all. She cheated, is that something you can handle, own, and most importantly get over and move forward with your mission? Like /u/theultmatecad said to me, “You'll either let go of the past or it will ruin you. If you can't let it go, you're fucked.”

hamsterbaiting · 2015-07-07T16:14:15+00:00

Wow, that shit hits close to home...
When I come across stuff like this I repeat in my head. Iron sharpens iron. The pain I feel is merely friction.

How awesome is that? To take a vacation from a marriage, fuck a bunch of dudes and then still have a place to land on your feet where everything will be ok.

The vacation concept is so accurate! I been referring to my STBX's cheating as vacationships. BP me initially gave her the place to land. STBX and her BFF now wonder why it's being pulled out from under her feet.

So when faced with the infidelity problem are you still plan B? Are you settling for a broken woman?
If I stayed I would be, or at least would feel like I am. (Which is essentially the same.)

Most importantly, are you making the best long term decision for you, or is she making the decision for you that suits her the best?
By divorcing I believe I am making the best decision for me.
I'm already getting a lot of attention from hotter women without even trying. I'm just too busy with my kids and own shit to act on it. I think that's my Hamster justifying not acting on it. Time to own that shit...

plugonepill · 2015-07-09T03:44:42+00:00

Im 43 and wife is 44, 2 kids 14 and 11...

My wife cheated on me. Happened back in 2012. 12 yrs into marriage. My life (dysneyland fairytale) was destroyed... We had a fight one night, probably about not getting any, and she asks me "Why don't you just get yourself a new girlfriend?" I said, why do you have a boyfriend? And she said YES!!!!!!

Then the trickle truth started coming out. Told me she has been fucking some old acquaintance. Turns out over time she told me that its some dude she didn't even date in the past, just some bb dude that always hung around my wifes circle when younger, sounds like a total orbiter. He lived across the state at the time. Through time I even fund pictures of the guy, her mother told me who he was fucking short redhead geeky dude, FUCK!. They met up a few times while he was in town for doctors, cancer or some shit, proabably filled her with teary eyed shit at the time. But she said they were in contact casually since like 2008 over the phone until the cancer thing happened and he was around more locally. And you know what, looking back total red flags everywhere. She was going out every other weekend, girls night out type shit she told me. LOL, she even told me that we should just be just roomates and that she was cutting off all sex. But the BB me never even thought anything like cheating, fucking hurr durr, I was busy in the basement with video games. I did not care, deadbedroom resentment.

But you know what? Its not even all her fault, its all my fault for being a fucking schlep, not knowing and realizing about AWALT and all that shit, pure beta fag all the way. I actually believed that once married, that's it. People stay faithful through hard times and bad. I bought into the fairy tale all the way, hook line and sinker. And lets be truthful here, I know she cheated but I had all but checked out at that time. Pure deadbedroom shit once a month pitty sex when I begged enough or she was drunk enough... Video games hardcore, and tons of porn. She was pretty much the financial and marriage lead, I just worked, small talk at dinner, put kids to bed and off on my video games. Yeah, fucked up now looking back like what a kid I acted like.

But the BB turned into an asshole at that time and told her its either me or him make your choice NOW. She hamstered for a while and decided to stay. I remember in that time just the thought of some other dude being inside her made me fucking sick to my stomach. I could not even have sex with her for a few months, even though she wanted it. She knows her life would be hell without me, no job, no career, no fucking skills other than fucking and taking care of kids and its not like this dude wanted anything other than sex, being a divorced bb himself... She contacted him and broke off all contacts immediately. I have since confirmed all of that through my james bond type investigating.

I work in engineering type shit so at the time I had a lot of time of not being busy at work and just researching shit on the net. Its the thing that lead me here eventually.

I wasn't about to give up at the time, it wasn't even the fear of losing her. I could give a shit about her, I fucking hated her for what she did. It was my entire life I built up. The house, the kids, all the shit we acquired, I didn't want to lose. Fuck that, I didn't wok so hard for the better of 20 yrs at the time to just see it all vanish. But the thought of not seeing my kids everyday is what pained me the most. My entire legacy fucking destroyed!

This is why I gave her a second chance, and thank god I found places like this on the net explaining it all to me. It was a rough journey but it all worked out in the end. I took over shit, stopped video games, lost 50 lbs, started to go to gym, basically improved myself. The relationship took a while to fix, but once the redpill started to take a hold, it was a slow recovery into a much better marriage. we communicate much better, we have passonate sex now many times a week and she wants it as much as I do. She still turns me down from time to time, but overall she is totally submissive and loving. Overall a 180 turn from where we were the first 10 yrs of marriage.

So yeah, I did keep her around, not for oneitis or even the thought of loosing her, just my life as a whole. Take it from me, this stuff works, I am one of those that you can look at as a success. Maybe not a total Alpha or pure red pill, but enough alpha now to make shit happen and have my wife respect and love me.

Title	Repost from TRP: Guy and the married girl...
Author	UEMcGill
Upvotes	11
Comments	28
Date	July 7, 2015 2:03 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/3cfd6h/repost_from_trp_guy_and_the_married_girl/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/repost-from-trp-guy-and-the-married-girl.201520 https://theredarchive.com/post/201520