I fancy myself a savvy guy; but while I can recognize a problem quickly it doesn't necessarily mean I have a successful strategy to fix it.

Remember the spreadsheet guy from DB (or relationships) that made it to the news because of his sex spreadsheet? He had the right idea, but he made the mistake of showing her. I keep just such a spreadsheet, but it's for me only.

With a few aberrations, there is a pattern: sex every 2 days: Mon-Wed-Fri-Sun-Tue... etc.

I noticed another trend, recently, that I'm not tracking: On days when sex should happen based on the pattern she is attentive, talkative, touchy, kissy, etc. On days when sex shouldn't happen based on the pattern she isn't those things: she is verbally distant, she spaces out when I talk, she isn't touchy and kissy.

Now, I haven't been empirically tracking these things with metrics, but here are some of the patterns I've noticed with this phenomenon:

  • On sex days she is "on"
  • On non-sex days she is "off"
  • I considered that maybe I am the one doing the turning (perhaps I'm conditioning myself to the pattern)
  • I made myself aware of how I act on and off days and made sure to make my actions the same across all days.
  • her pattern maintains.

I've come to the conclusion that she found a comfortable pattern and is now settling herself into it by conditioning me to that pattern.

To test this I initiated several nights in a row, as many as 3 times in a row. I was never rejected. Her "off" attitude seems to follow the last time we had sex, regardless of pattern, and regardless of amount of times before hand.

I know it's weird to track things like this, but one of the things that caused me to fall into beta habits before was not recognizing or completely ignoring developing patterns. Tracking patterns allows me to maintain agency over my decisions.

Does anyone have experience with this sort of thing? Is there anything anyone can see to do to organically shake things up and put her off-kilter and remove the comfort. I'd prefer not to treat this as a marathon shit test...yet.