A lot of new guys are coming here and they're at their rope's end. Some can't handle the frustration anymore, some can't imagine they'll ever get over the hatred they feel for their wife, some are sure their wife really is a bitch and they want someone better.

Others seem intent on saving a marriage even though their wife is probably never going to become pleasant company.

The answer I wanted to give to all of them seemed to center around the same few principles, so here is my take on when to next your wife.

Time changes everything

I've been at that place where my wife had hurt me so bad so many times I thought she'd killed all feeling for her and I just wanted to hurt her back. I could not imagine it ever working again.

But the fact is that months later we're having lots of great sex, we're happy, and all that's under the bridge. My wife is still capable of being the meanest bitch on Earth, but she's not that way towards me anymore.

All of us has had something bad happen to us and at the time it seemed we would never get over it, but then we did. This could well happen with your wife once she stops being a rejecting bitch. You will not despise your wife forever.

Except the things that don't change

The red pill is mainly going to change one thing in your wife: her desire for you.

I have a heuristic I use to find out what people are capable of when they're properly motivated. I look at them at their best. Most people can be shitty friends or shitty workers when they don't care, but look at how they do when their heart is in it. If your wife is and always was a lazy, fat slob that never got along with anyone and couldn't hold a job, you have no chance of turning her into a good wife. Such people just don't have it in them to work up the effort to fight for even their important relationships. But if she is popular among her friends, she can become good company. If she works hard at her job or to take care of the kids, she can work hard for you.

So look at her when she's at her best. Even if you alpha up to the max, you're not going to get better than that. Some women just don't have the energy, self discipline, or agreeableness it takes to become enjoyable company.

The grass is greener on the other side

Unless your wife is fucking your brains out, this is a fucking fantasy. Assuming you didn't marry someone that actually is worthless, the problem is you, not her. How your wife treats you is an accurate reflection of your level of alphaness. If you read all the red pill stories about how people are spinning plates and think your life as a single man will be like that, the truth is that you have some work to do.

Dread games

Some dread games are always a good idea, but if you're thinking about leaving your wife, they're essential. This guide by /u/BluepillProfessor has a great take on the approach. Read it.

The thing about running dread is that not only does it make your wife realize your value - it also lets you know how well you're really doing and what your alternatives are. It is pointless to leave your wife to spin plates and then finding out that you suck at flirting, don't like it, or have lower SMV than you thought. Dread games lets you gauge your actual progress and gets you out of the idea that your wife is the source of all problems. If you can't pick up women, the problem is you.

When you can pick up other women, you're doing great. You're alpha. You're ready to decide if your future is staying married or nexting her.

Next her right

If you are going to next her, don't do it in the heat of the moment. Prepare. Talk to a lawyer, hide finances, get proof you need to not get fucked over in the custody battle. The consequences are going to stay with you for years - enduring marriage for a few more weeks is going to be worth it.

TL;DR

  1. Patience. Calm down. Realize that your wife will change and with that your feelings towards her.
  2. Look at your wife at her best, when she is working for something important for her. If she sucks at that, she's a lost cause; next her. Otherwise, the problem is you, not her.
  3. Improve yourself, lift and lead.
  4. Play dread games. When you can flirt successfully with other women, your wife is going to be wet for you too; this is the time you want to decide if you want a divorce, not before.
  5. If you still want to next her, see a lawyer and prepare properly.