What are some tools you use to stop yourself from losing your frame?

ZeeyardSA · 2015-05-16T16:00:32+00:00

To Answer your question, I Shut UP! Shut Up Shut Up Shut Up! Its the best thing I can do to keep my frame.

UEMcGill · 2015-05-16T17:36:34+00:00

The 2 second pause. It's imperceptible to those around you, but it's just enough time to gather your thoughts.

Chuckit_ · 2015-05-17T22:21:15+00:00

I found that once I started really noticing shit tests and knowing where they came from, it was difficult to refrain from cracking up laughing.

[deleted] · 2015-05-16T16:11:03+00:00

the "tools" are fogging, A&A, walking away etc...initially you will rely on these skills and fake it as you make it.

The magic comes when you shed that layer of blue skin and BECOME the man who holds frame naturally. It happens as you spend more and more time working on your lifegoals and rely less and less on external (wife's) validation.

Here is one exchange that happened in my house today. Its not a perfect match for your example but it shows how quickly an unplugged man (ME!) deals with SAHWs bullshit

"Wednesday I have to be at FIRSTKIDS school at 845 and thats exact time SECONDKID needs to be dropped off."

"You will figure it out beautiful"

No offer to help as I am busy. No offer of suggestions. Just let her know she is heard.

The fags in Deadbedrooms make HER problems, THEIR problems. Exact opposite of what turns a woman on.

CaptainWasHere · 2015-05-16T16:21:43+00:00

I remind myself of the goal - for me to be happy. 90% of the time I'm not happy enough "winning" to entertain the argument. 10% of the time the outcome is worth the discussion.

marinerhyme · 2015-05-16T22:02:38+00:00

I remind myself regularly that if my emotions are triggered by something said to me and I react rather than consider my response as that of the oak that chances are Im not going to do a good job of handling the situation in a way that isn't at some point regrettable.

I spend some time at night reflecting on my day and how I handled situations. It helps me to see where I did a good job and also where I failed miserably.

[deleted] · 2015-05-17T14:00:00+00:00

I am learning the art of not saying anything when she starts to get emotional and wants to escalate. Being a naturally high strung talker - this is not characteristic of me. Since I've begun doing this, the wife accuses me of being moody. I am in no way acting moody - just shutting up and ignoring the emotional vomit. What is a red pill response to her accusation?

[deleted] · 2015-05-17T14:03:03+00:00

what does " fogging" mean?

rediscover03 · 2015-05-16T14:57:00+00:00

walking away, going to do something else than engage in hamster talk
not letting her interrupt me. Say whatever I am about to assertively and ignoring her attempt to talk over me. When done and she is full on hamster BS I realize what's going on and look for ways to remove myself from convo/ end convo.
applying plenty fogging and negative inquiry - that's very helpful in not going along for the hamster powered ride of negativity/ criticism
look for ways to be dominant be it with body language or playful banter, but without trying too hard - she picks up on it and it backfires.

Just some ideas.

BluepillProfessor · 2015-05-19T03:48:36+00:00

WISNIFG

FOGGING is a way to deflect criticism and emotional manipulation by seeming to agree “in principle” and then expressing your need, want or desire. This is often used with “Broken Record.” Much of the book is made up of assertiveness training seminar transcripts of people practicing “assertiveness” so, for example… When somebody is trying to sell you X:

“I think X would be useful for lots of people but I am not interested in buying X.”

Then repeat at each sales pitch until he goes away. Note this example uses what he calls “Fogging” and what others call “Assertive Listening” or whatever. First you acknowledge the other persons concern and then forge ahead with yours. Repeat as needed- like a broken record.

In a Red Pill context Fogging can be used effectively with negs and with Shit Test responses such as Agree and Amplify. Using my own example (obviously) when a wife says: All you ever do is think about sex the proper response is Agree and Amplify but you can add a little fogging in first.

”You are under the impression I only think about sex? (Fogging, acknowledging her statement). I assure you I also think about blowjobs and butt sex" (Agree and Amplify).

Negative Inquiry and Negative Assertion is a branch of Fogging when you actively prompt further criticism of you by prompting further statements of wrongdoing.

[deleted] · 2015-05-18T21:26:41+00:00

AWALT - when she says something stupid, disrespectful, or basically that sounds to any rational person as "looking for an argument" just LAUGH to yourself that AWALT... means there is no need to engage this shit, just take note in your head and if you don't like what she said as in it's disrespectful just mention it casually. If she argues back with you disengage... but for the most part woman says something absolutely ridiculous and i just think omg women.

also, think ROCK / storm... every time she tries to move you realize that's what she wants... women are the storm. the storm = weakness. you're the rock. storm hits rock but rock doesn't get bothered, it just is.

exbp · 2015-05-16T14:40:33+00:00

My number one tool is recognizing the cognitive dissonance that is the hamster at work. It allows me to see the things I should respond to and the things I should blow off.

I don't see any point in belittling her SAHM efforts but I also don't think it's good to paint it as "the toughest job in the world". To me it's like the plumber or the guy who mows the yard - jobs I can do but I'd rather not.

Title	What are some tools you use to stop yourself from losing your frame?
Author	dandar4600
Upvotes	5
Comments	18
Date	May 16, 2015 2:22 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/3661od/what_are_some_tools_you_use_to_stop_yourself_from/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/what-are-some-tools-you-use-to-stop-yourself-from.201907 https://theredarchive.com/post/201907