Initiate, isolate, escalate; anybody who's been here long enough has seen those three little words and knows they are the three necessary steps to get some poontang. There's plenty of info on TRP about initiation and escalation, but I have seen little on isolation, and nothing on isolation within a family home.

In a family home the issue is isolating your wife from the other family members, particularly the kids. I have two kids and an infant and they all compete with me for my wife's attention. The kids will follow us into the damn bedroom and jump all over us while we're trying to make out. The baby cries if my wife puts him down for five minutes and that shit is like anti-viagra. This all creates an isolation bottleneck. I can't fuck my wife unless I can isolate her and isolation is currently very challenging.

The baby is the hardest. He's too young to be on a schedule; he sleeps at random times and for some reason evenings seem to be his unhappy hour. We've been trying various things to get him to go the fuck to sleep so we can fuck with mixed success. Nursing, baths, bottle feeding, white noise, rocking, swinging... Last night I was trying to get the little fucker to sleep in his stroller and every time he'd start to close his eyes they'd snap back open and he'd stare at me like Chuckie. Bottom line is he sleeps whenever the fuck he wants and there's nothing we can really do about it.

There are two ways to isolate your wife in this situation:

  1. Wait until the baby goes to sleep and fuck her right at that moment. Strike while the iron is hot.
  2. Use a babysitter.

Then there are the bigger kids. They're easier. We live in a no TV house so TV is like heroin for them. All I have to do is offer them a youtube video and a snack and they will sit like motionless zombies in front of the computer for an hour or longer.

So the next time you're feeling in the mood, actively isolate her. Get the kids out of the picture. Monitor the baby situation so you're ready as soon as it falls asleep and before your wife decides to use that time for facebooking. Break the isolation bottleneck.