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I want to change. How can I learn to embrace TRP/altTRP?

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January 18, 2017


Post Information
Title I want to change. How can I learn to embrace TRP/altTRP?
Upvotes 3
Comments 3
Date 18 January 2017 08:56 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit altTRP
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[–]AceofRains0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Your best methods of change are first and foremost methods that increase testosterone. Lifting and exercise, and food choice. Since you're 19, some of the growth of your masculinity will only come with time, for instance, I can grow at 24 a beard and use that to affect 1st impressions. Put your self in more social settings, but also beware of the flow of information that comes out of your mouths. We gays, especially when acting like a queen tend to offer more information than needed. Be stoic. Quit porn, because this will destroy your sex life as a top, and make your expectations unrealistic as a bottom.

Your RP journey is all about the goals you set for your self and who you decide that you want to be. There's nothing wrong with wanting to stay a bottom, but your ultimate goal with age should to transition to being a top. It will be healthier for you in the long run. Some of these changes might mean outgrowing your LTR, but that's up to you. I'd say keep perusing the main RP forum. While you don't have to pretend like you're straight, the advice given there will also massively help you understand females and can give you an edge over situations involving them.

[–]Jobby_jabber points points [recovered] | Copy

I don't think your question is really related to sexuality. I think you've got some things you'd like to sort out about your sex life, and I think you've got some other things you'd like to sort out about life in general.

First off, why do you want to change? What are you unhappy about? Be specific about those questions with yourself. You need to have quantifiable goals to work towards. Low self esteem isn't a thing outside of safe space cuddle circles. In the real world you're either an actual fuck up who needs to get his shit together or you're competent and you're just begging for attention by saying you feel insecure. A lot of the time you just need some actual feedback on what you are capable of. Do some challenging things you're afraid you might fail at to learn where your limits are. That will help put your self esteem in realistic perspective.

As for changing from a bottom to a top, that's got to be on you. If you think that being a bottom makes you less of a man, then you're not going to feel right continuing to do it. If, on the other hand you think those two things are unrelated, then there not much reason to change up a sex life that is working just for the sake of trying to sort out your actual life.

Like I said, real life problems come first. Deal with those. Sex problems come second. Pro tip, when real life is going your way, your sex life tends to follow suit.

[–]Narrowminded0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

First, I would like to say that I agree with what you wrote. There seems to be a lot of people associating being a bottom with being a beta, or being a bottom with being a "fem" - essentially that being a bottom means you're a bitch and not actually a manly man.

Unfortunately, it's really not that black and white. I say it's unfortunate because I suppose life would be so much easier if we could say with 100% certainty that the giver is the manliest of the men and the receiver is the girliest, but it's just not how it works.

Reading through OP a bit more, I'd say that one core issue lies in that he's not comfortable being the weaker of the two. However, I don't think getting into this mentality of absolutely always having to be considerably more stronger than your partner is healthy. What if he's also working out? What if he's also making gains? OP specifically mentions his partners size in a post about issues he's having and I find that very telling.

Fair enough, there's a lot of people who would assume that the OP is the "bitch of the pair" (or something) if he's really scrawny and his boyfriend is really strong, but I disagree with the notion that this means that he is, by all intents and purposes, so much less of a man.

Absolutely, working out and getting stronger and working towards career goals are both very serious aspirations and nobody would not recommend pursuing them seriously, but this needs to be viewed in a better light. It's not about catching up from being behind, it's about growing. Being a man - no, being a human being and living life in general is all about learning. You are not the fool for feeling this way OP, you are not lesser. It takes a man to admit that he's in the wrong. It takes a man to admit that he's in a spot he does not want to be and then make a plan to change it. You're on your way, you just have to commit and be serious about it.

Gotta stop hating on yourself, though. You're not 59, you're 19. You're just starting, and you're already putting your best foot forward by making this post and admitting that you want change. Just understand that enjoying bottoming doesn't make you less. You enjoy what you enjoy - you can't help that. Life is too short to get caught up on shit like that. You should do what you enjoy as much as possible. It doesn't make you less of anything.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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