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Update: Discovered wife has had an affair, have kids, she doesn't know that i know

by fruitylad | January 25, 2019 | askMRP

28 upvotes

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Last night she kept asking why I was acting weird etc, getting upset because i was avoiding her etc, that this is serious and I was forced into showing my hand. Its hard to act normally in these circumstances and she was piecing everything together.

When the kids were in bed I showed her the exported text messages and asked her whats been going on. I said I have read every message on her phone so tell me everything. I asked her a million questions calmly to get everything I could out of her. The affair started just before the i love you but im not in love with you thing, and continued for about 5 months until he stopped it, she claims she gave him a 'leave now or never' because she knew he wouldn't and it would end things, which she claims she wanted. She slept with him several times over the 5 months but claims never wanted to leave me, just got dragged into it as our relationship wasn't great. Of course, actions not words springs to mind.

I said to her ive given you crap excuses since i found out to give myself some time to think about things and decide what to do. I said logically I should kick you out now and end it, thatch what most would do and probably the right thing to do. But I feel like I can give you another chance as we have a long history if you understand I want passwords to every email, site, phone, everything and I will find it hard to ever trust you again. I will check on you and question you whenever i want and if you put up any resistance its over, if i see any sign your hiding something its over, or if things arent returning to the good relationship i want it to be its over.

She cried and said she doesn't want to lose me its all a mistake etc and she wants use to stay married forever, and she already had valentines day plans for us, but of course after 5 months of being unfaithful, she says this almost certainly because her branch swing failed. She says its over but that was only 2 weeks ago, usually that means it might start up again but im sure she wouldnt dare try now and i believe her that it really has ended..

Now whats left to do is read everything about divorce, decide how long to stay, decide whether i will start meeting other women without her knowing and pull the trigger at the right time. Whats clear is things can never go back to what they were, so im just trying to get best i can out of the situation.

Thanks for all the comments and help on this post and last, its really appreciated during this tough time.


Post Information
Title Update: Discovered wife has had an affair, have kids, she doesn't know that i know
Author fruitylad
Upvotes 28
Comments 189
Date 25 January 2019 12:26 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/203649
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/ajoj9o/update_discovered_wife_has_had_an_affair_have/
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Comments

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children) | Copy

The only reason I'm leaving this up is that it's a example of what not to do, and OP needs his lumps.

Seriously OP, everyone just told you to STFU, and you didn't even last a day.

[–]Itstinksoutthere62 points63 points  (4 children) | Copy

Lawyer up and Next. I can guarantee you she wasn’t thinking about how sorry she was with that other man’s dick in her. If you’ve remained faithful and she cheated on you then move on. If you’ve both been cheating on each other then fuck it. Keep doing what your doing.

[–]JudgeDoom6918 points19 points  (3 children) | Copy

with that other man’s dick in her

u/fruitylad you'll never be able to go down on your woman without wondering whom you're tasting in there. You'll have Chad's swimmers on your tongue, think about that. Every time she closes her eyes during sex you'll have to wonder if she's remembering her best sex with him.

I'm not sure why you come on here asking for advice and then follow none of it. If you just need to victim-puke you'd be much better off over in r/survivinginfidelity or r/Divorce.

As for your "plan" to monitor more closely your wife, when one of you has to become the "relationship police", the relationship is already dead.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (1 child) | Copy

As for your "plan" to monitor more closely your wife, when one of you has to become the "relationship police", the relationship is already dead.

THIS!!! That is the groundwork for a codependent ' father/daughter' relationship and not a healthy 'husband/wife' relationship. I've been in your shoes and made the mistake your making. It ended for me 18 months later when she got pregnant to another man, an affair she started only a few months after the previous one ended. I would have been the one raising his kid if I hadn't have had a vasectomy a few years earlier.

Remember, Affairs are like an addiction. Your negotiating with an addict that was caught with coke on their nose. Do you really think that's a good idea?

EDIT: Do you want to be the one raising Chad's kids?

[–]FFDGTDS5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Maybe he is already and is OK with that!

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

As for your "plan" to monitor more closely your wife, when one of you has to become the "relationship police", the relationship is already dead.

I'm thinking of Sam Rothstein on "Casino", and his wife's pager.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red91 points92 points  (21 children) | Copy

Every single motherfucker here told you to STFU.

What do you do? Show her the texts.

Next level faggot you are and a waste of our time.

Fuck off you cuck.

[–]Cam_Winston2128 points29 points  (8 children) | Copy

Yep, he pretty much ignored every single piece of advice. Dude should be on one of the relationship subs where he can actually get the responses he's obviously seeking ("I'm so sorry, maybe if you guys work hard on communication, she can realize that you're the true love of her life and one day she will hopefully become the person you deserve".)

[–]gameoflibidos16 points17 points  (1 child) | Copy

he'll most likely ignore all this advice as well and end up at Valentines day dinner with her buying her flowers.

cause he's a giant pussy.

[–]friendandadvisor2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'd pay for the meal and flowers myself if I could just get a look at her face the first second he turns away after dinner. Or, just see what her first phone text message is.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (4 children) | Copy

Communication solves every problem. He should talk about his feelings with her, how much he got hurt, how he’s so sorry for whatever he did to push her away, and beg her for sex.

100% foolproof plan.

[–]SeamusAwl10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

She will definitely be happy with that. She got to ride a strange dick and he gets to pay all the consequences of her actions. That would keep her from doing it again.

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Sorry, neighbor, he ain't gettin' nowhere without telling her that he loves her and needs her. You don't know much about women folk, do you??

[–]Stonesaint0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

It's called trolling

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

'Twas wit, my friend!

[–]gameoflibidos15 points16 points  (1 child) | Copy

lol.. I'm picturing this dude coming into a bar full of dudes somewhere... tells his story... everyone in the bar is like just STFU man.. don't say shit.... just shut up and make plans to exit.

He comes back the next day... everyone looks at him .. like what'd you do? ... says he showed her all the texts and talked calmly about it.

Entire bar groans in unison and bangs their head on the table in front of them.

[–]Tbonesupreme8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

And only a fucking goofball would come back to the bar the next day, but here he is.

[–]alphabachelor10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly.

He could have got his ducks in a row and ambushed her cold.

Instead he showed his hand and I guarantee she will not show him the same decency.

What a dumb herby fuck.

[–]redwall927 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

This. Exactly this. I would have put $$ on this happening after reading OP's previous post.

WISINFG is the most basic book in our sidebar; it is also the most foundational. Without it, a blue man cannot STFU. She hamstered this; she wore me down that; she forced me into showing my hand. Bull-fucking-shit.

OP needs to read WISNIFG and apply it. Maybe he should next his wife. Maybe not. I don't care in the end. But I will say he should use her to learn how to STFU in reality.

A woman cannot force a man into having a conversation.

One of my all-time favorites.

Verbal Intercourse is Optional

If she can run around chasing you with her raging emotions and her verbal intercourse demands, then you can run around chasing her with your raging hardon and your sexual intercourse demands. And if that worked we'd all be pros at getting the sex we want from our wives. This thought allows me to bring a heft to my own SFTU in action while also allowing me to keep my SFTU somewhat detached and non-butthurt.

[–]friendandadvisor2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

OP needs to read WISNIFG and apply it.

I think that it's genetically impossible for him to apply it. Further, he won't read it because he as a plan: to support her for the next few years while she has other affairs, so he can fool her into thinking that he has forgiven her!

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yep. Showed his hand instead of showing her the door.

[–]WesternhagenWinner4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

The "don't say anything and rebuild her respect" strategy didn't even last 24 hours. Sad!

This is why i havent said anything to her yet, if i say anything and want to stay for the kids, she will never respect me ever again and cheat again at some point. At least if she doesn't know i know, then there is a chance i can rebuild some respect as i improve, have things be good for a while then dump her ass in future.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

it's a example of what not to do, and OP needs his lumps.

I even told him she was going to push his buttons, so be careful to not let her get under his skin where he’d blurt it out.

This outcome was a -800 betting favorite in any case

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This outcome was a -800 betting favorite in any case

Yeah, this one was a gimme.

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What do you do? Show her the texts.

See?? Showing is not the same as Saying!

This boys gonna be all right!

/s

[–]nantucketghost25 points26 points  (2 children) | Copy

Listen, her plan to leave you for a better man (in her eyes) failed and now she wants to play nice - only because she got caught - and to bide time to fuck you over in the inevitable divorce.

Also there is no stay. She needs to go out of the home. Why? Before you know it, you'll be an abusive husband that beats her and find yourself being served a restraining order.

No joke either. I know a guy that had this happen to him. Or sure, it eventually got thrown out, but he lived with me for a month and then with another buddy for a month.

Basically you two should not be together at this point. Of course you're going to say: My wife would never do that to me.

Sure, but look at what she just did to you. You don't know her like you think you did. Watch out for that knife that will end up in your back, so don't have a cavalier attitude about this. Please.

Once out, now you can inform folks as to why, or she will be forced too... Either way, you need folks on your side to have help with the kids.

Suggest her to take some time off and go home for a week so you can think all of this over. A few days alone will get the ball rolling and let you sink into your new reality. Playing "house" with your cheating ex isn't a good reality for you right now and you will continue to get mixed emotions as she tries to fuck with them to regain her way.

[–]linkofinsanity196 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is the best answer by far. By staying with her, you are showing your kids that it's okay to cheat when they learn what happened and how daddy didn't respect himself or the example he's setting for his kids enough to leave cheating mommy. By allowing her to stay, you're exhibiting the same behavior that made her lose respect for you in the first place.

[–]friendandadvisor1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Of course you're going to say: My wife would never do that to me.

Sure, but look at what she just did to you.

Yes, but, that was before he laid down the law.

[–]RPWolfAlpha_as_Wolf_2.019 points20 points  (5 children) | Copy

OK I will come at you from a different angle and not directly call you a cuck because I was in your shoes. Similar situation but my wife and I were cheating on each other and I was a shit bag verbally abusive shit bag nice guy before MRP. She cheated to get back at me. I decided to stay with her after our last round of shit well before finding MRP. I will just give you my take.

You have a long hard road ahead of you. You need to unfuck yourself as well as maintain this shitty marriage. My wife did everything yours did.

until he stopped it

No he didnt.

I want passwords to every email, site, phone, everything and I will find it hard to ever trust you again. I will check on you and question you whenever i want and if you put up any resistance its over, if i see any sign your hiding something its over, or if things arent returning to the good relationship i want it to be its over.

Ask yourself, do you want to live like this? I didnt ask myself this question because I didnt have this group to tell me then and before I got my head straight I fucking drove myself over the brink with OPSEC. You will never ask enough questions. You will always just assume you didnt find the answer. You will be chasing ghosts non-stop and drive yourself mad. This is no place to live!! You demanding a good relationship is also bullshit. You are trying to negotiate desire and force her to do something. You can't control other people, you can only have the OI and confidence to walk away.

She cried and said she doesn't want to lose me its all a mistake etc and she wants use to stay married forever, and she already had valentines day plans for us

Of course she did, so did my wife. They see their beta provider getting ready to leave them high and dry before they had a new Plan B in place. Look man, I am not saying the tears aren't genuine but most tears a woman spills in front of others are for manipulation only.

Now whats left to do is read everything about divorce, decide how long to stay, decide whether i will start meeting other women without her knowing and pull the trigger at the right time. Whats clear is things can never go back to what they were, so im just trying to get best i can out of the situation.

Talk to a lawyer now. Get unfucked. Do the divorce right.

You are spot on that things will never go back to the way they were. Take it from me, the juice is not worth the squeeze. My wife has been a literally picture of honesty, loyalty and respect for years now and its still in the back of my mind. It doesnt bother me anymore and I don't think about it often but I would be lying if it doesnt rear its ugly fucking head from time to time. You will spend your time trying to out fuck a ghost.

Think of it like this, you have a vase and you drop it and it shatters. You can do the best job you have of gluing that vase back together so that no one ever knows it broke, but the cracks will always be there and the vase is that much more fragile. Just walk.

[–]SeamusAwl7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Think of it like this, you have a vase and you drop it and it shatters. You can do the best job you have of gluing that vase back together so that no one ever knows it broke, but the cracks will always be there and the vase is that much more fragile. Just walk.

That is exactly my thoughts on adultery.

[–]IRunYourRiver4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I fucking drove myself over the brink with OPSEC. You will never ask enough questions. You will always just assume you didnt find the answer. You will be chasing ghosts non-stop and drive yourself mad.

The concept of Frame is emphasized here again and again. Living like this makes it impossible for the frame to be yours. It will always be hers.

[–]catchpull0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Thanks for that perspective. I’m more than similar. So your still married to her but wishing you just go the divorce?

[–]RPWolfAlpha_as_Wolf_2.01 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

What I am saying is if I knew then what I know now I would have walked yes. Do I regret the work I have put in and where I am at now, not at all.

[–]catchpull0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine40 points41 points  (20 children) | Copy

“The affair started just before the i love you but im not in love with you thing”

Bullshit.

“continued for about 5 months until he stopped it”

Bullshit. No dude is going to stop it- because he’s getting free high quality tang from your wife.

“She cried”

Of course she did.

“ claims never wanted to leave me, just got dragged into it as our relationship wasn't great. ”

Bullshit- blame it on him of course. He provided feelz and cock that you weren’t giving her.

“Valentine day plans “

Wtf? You getting roped back in now?

Fuck that.

Next this whore.

How can you ever kiss her again knowing her mouth was sucking off this dude behind your back?

But she “never wanted to leave you”.

Bullshit.

Edit: I see how this ends. She’ll blame you for neglecting her needs all those years and make you feelz like it was all your fault... and you’ll agree like a little submissive beta retard.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red24 points25 points  (17 children) | Copy

Just blowjobs?

I have had APs eat my ass.

Imagine kissing your wife after she ate my ass.

Lol. True stories.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine7 points8 points  (6 children) | Copy

Coffee spit take. +1

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red15 points16 points  (5 children) | Copy

I have to tell you man. Of all the women I have fucked, I really love fucking married women.

There is something about sending them home to their man with a pussy, ass or tummy full of my hot come that just drives my male insecurities wild.

Know what else I like about married women?

The chase. The chase they give ME.

How they will bend over backwards, lie, deceive, make plans with their fake friends - just to come and see me.

Esp when all they want is to be fucked. They just let you take them, do what you want and that's it. Its like a ONS but way more satisfying.

I do not feel sorry for a single faggot that allows himself to get cheated on.

[–]itiswr1ttenRed Beret4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

When you enter the AP zone there is a moment of wonder and amazement..."they'll do all these mental acrobatics and maze of logistics just to get fucked properly?"

Then you think about when that other guy might have been you. And THEN the shit eating grin inducing moment of "how many of these unfulfilled women are out there. A lot." sets in.

Sex is truly about power....

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Then you think about when that other guy might have been you

No. Never even thought about it once.

[–]mrp_awakening1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

What's AP?

[–]itiswr1ttenRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Affair Partner aka person who the cheater is fucking on the side

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Got me pumped up for the weekend now. Getting an early start.

MCT out.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

So true. When Vanilla wives cheat - they go all out. I had the fortune/misfortune of reading my ex's emails regarding her affair and she did some crazy shit for that Chad that she would never have done for me. I was such a cuck at that time in my life. MRP toughened me the fuck up and my new wife appreciates it.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I love a happy ending!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I know a good massage “therapist” that can......

[–]friendandadvisor1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Imagine kissing your wife after she ate my ass.

And, then, kissing the kids!

"Mommy, your breath smells like poopy! Haahahaahaaha!"

[–]gettingmymojobackRed Beret3 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy

A lot of guys will think you're just beating your chest and this couldn't possibly happen with their snowflake.

Fucking idiots. They have no idea how big a slut she can be for the right man.

Can confirm 100%. Blowjobs should be the least of their worries lol

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

how big a slut

I feel you, but I am going to put on my #metoo hat for a second.

I really hate that term sometimes.

The human body is built for pleasure. Just becuase a woman will give herself to a real man in any way shape or form, I dont think that makes her a slut.

To call her a slut, by definition you are trying to take power or status away from something that is nothing more than a simple commodity on the open market.

Why is a woman who has had less sexual partners "worth more" or valued higher than a women who has a higher N count.

I am only talking about SEX. Yes, there is value in a LTR/Wife a low N-count woman.

You strip away marriage and LTR, there is a woman with a low N count vs high N count has no more or less value in my eyes.

In fact, I would rather have a woman with more experience than less.

Can of worms open.

[–]gettingmymojobackRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

You getting soft? Not the connotation I was going for, it's just a lot easier to say slut, slutty than open minded, submissive, eager to please or kinky etc.

I don't view slut as a negative. As you eloquently pointed out, more experience is a good thing when it comes to quality of sex.

Beta Billy here will never believe what she is capable of and willing to do....with someone else.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Maybe. Ill pin an extra 100mg of Tren today to be safe. Lol

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

“Humans are Built for pleasure”.

Woman more so than Chad.. The clit only exists for her pleasure and serves no purpose other than that.

Fuck I’m horney now.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Bro.

Until you have a sucked on a big juicy anavar clit you have not lived. Lol

My girl is running a cycle of lady var.

I might be on the wrong sub now that I think about it. Lol.

No homo.

[–]redismyfuture5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not sure who got railed harder. Wife by the boy toy or OP from this post...

Ehh, he's a pussy faggot so he probably liked it anyways.

[–]CaliEd2560 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I’ve stopped affairs with married women. Because they got needy and it was boring. The rest is, as you’ve stated, Bullshit.

[–]markpf7315 points16 points  (39 children) | Copy

Troll post maybe....

This thing reads like mRP AWALT porn. Only part of this post I was hoping to see was a statement of “we fucked like animals so see she really does love and desire me”.

If this is not a troll post you wreak of faggot.

Your statement of “now I have to read everything about divorce” is just your mental masturbation and pacifier. You will do nothing.

Don’t read about divorce strategy. Research about finding the right lawyer to get the outcome you want.

But I think you just want to go back to the way things were and forget the vision of Chad’s cum dripping out of your wife’s sloppy little post kid pussy after he pounded it good with a bigger dick than yours...

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine7 points8 points  (28 children) | Copy

Brutal.. but deserving.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Troll post maybe.

I thought it reeked of trolling also

[–]markpf732 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

This could be a huffington post article in the making about how a bunch of toxic masculinity and online bullying drove a man to suicide...

OP hang in there. The best of your life is in front of you.

But the OP was like a “dog whistle” to get the askmRP commenting.

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

But the OP was like a “dog whistle” to get the askmRP commenting.

Well, sure, but, we deserve a little snack every now and then.

[–]mindfulbutgutlessRed Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Your statement of “now I have to read everything about divorce”

This is coming from the same person who stated

Background, im married with 2 kids and have known about and read about game/red pill stuff, for at least 10 years and have fully internalised a lot of the ideas and concepts, its actually what got me my wife 11 years ago in the first place.

so I am taking OP with a half a grain of salt.

[–]markpf730 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Very few people will ever succeed in changing who they are

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I have done it at least 3 times. Maybe 4. Unfortunately I think you are right. I think very few people will even trie.

[–]fruitylad[S] -1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy

But I think you just want to go back to the way things were and forget the vision of Chad’s cum dripping out of your wife’s sloppy little post kid pussy after he pounded it good with a bigger dick than yours...

That statement is the one that hurts the most of everything here. That is what i really want, but know it cant happen, i just feel like if i stay i can get the benefit of seeing my kids everyday and still date other women as i would do if i ended it.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

The way that ends is the kids see a weak, broken man for a father who sits idly by while he gets cucked. If you want to make this about the kids, make it about teaching them self respect. They'll grow to resent you as surely as your wife will if you stick around and allow yourself to be treated that way.

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That statement is the one that hurts the most of everything here. That is what i really want, but know it cant happen,

Well, it's true. While you were laying in bed next to her, Chad's cum was dripping out the side of her panties of her worn out little pussy that took a beating for a few days in a row like you never gave her. She craved his dick. She wanted it so badly. His cum tasted so much better than yours.

Do you see now, faggot? Does that hurt? Good. Learn to live in that hurt.

The ONLY path to becoming a superior man is a lonely one. Then you will find abundance and it will be because of YOU. Not your wife who kisses you when she gets home from licking chad's balls and letting him cum in her mouth and watch it drip out onto her chin... and she checks the mirror in the car to make sure her face is wiped clean before walking in to greet you.

Get comfortable with it.

[–]FFDGTDS0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I dated a girl in high school that lived about 30 minutes away, so I didn’t get to see her much. When we’d get together she would always start a confrontation, I’d blow it off, but it always seemed to happen,

I broke up with her after a few months and later found out her single mom had been abused by her dad and that stepdad was also abusive.

Most of us on here probably learned our former BP ways from a dad who’s motto was “happy wife, happy life”, I know it was and still is my dad’s motto.

Your kids will learn from your example about how a relationship with a spouse should look.

Is staying and being miserable, with a woman you don’t (or at least shouldn’t) respect really the example you want to set?

[–]InChargeManRed Beret13 points14 points  (2 children) | Copy

Apparently you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

Or STFU.

[–]gettingmymojobackRed Beret8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Or lift.

[–]Two_kids_in_a_coat10 points11 points  (2 children) | Copy

You know that her Valentine’s Day plans were for him right? She just can’t use them so figured she’d do them with you instead now.

[–]friendandadvisor2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You know that her Valentine’s Day plans were for him right? She just can’t use them so figured she’d do them with you instead now.

Yeah, except she won't rim him.

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Brutal and true.

[–]cheesewindow7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Shoot the puppy. In a years time, you will hold your head up high knowing that you did the right thing by you.

You only have to answer to yourself.

I've been there and shot the puppy right between it's fucking eyes. She'll have more respect for you by doing that then anything else you could possibly do.

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're the dumbest mother fucking faggot ever. Fuck dude. We said to STFU. And here you go asking a million questions and giving up EVERY piece of leverage and dignity you had left.

You don't deserve MRP. You have gained NOTHING WITH THE FAGGOT CONVERSATION WITH HER.

Just get the fuck out of here already and get back to being the cuck you want to be.

[–]mrpthrowa16 points17 points  (1 child) | Copy

Go fuck your self dude. Everyone was telling you not to show off your hand but you come back here gleefully telling us you did. What use is giving you any advice.

[–]friendandadvisor1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Go fuck your self dude. Everyone was telling you not to show off your hand but you come back here gleefully telling us you did. What use is giving you any advice.

Well, he may learn....

JUST FUCKING JOKING, HE'LL NEVER LEARN! lolololol

[–]Kpwn886 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

What the fuck are you doing here asking for advice if you are just going to do the opposite of what we recommend?

Avaunt, you fairy.

[–]BarracudaRP1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Avaunt, you fairy

Doesn't have the same punch as "GTFO faggot"

[–]gettingmymojobackRed Beret5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

What is it with all the pussies in this thread calling to inform the other guys wife? WTF?

Since when did any other man ever have a contract with you to not fuck your wife? If your wife is cheating on you, she's the only one you should take ssue with. She's the one breaking promises. No one else.

Stop behaving like bitches looking for some sort of righteousness to feel better about yourself. If your snowflake can't keep her legs closed that's on her and no one else.

If anything you should be thanking the guy for the wake up call. Buy him a beer.

Save the anger for your wife.

[–]BarracudaRP4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

What is it with all the pussies in this thread calling to inform the other guys wife? WTF?

Glad I'm not the only one. Exposing him as a cheater or posting on social media seems like a bitch move.

"But it serves a purpose! It makes it impossible for her to keep cheating with him, plus it gives her consequences! You can learn from her reactions when you threaten to tell the guy's wife about their affair!"

Mate guarding, weird attempts at negotiating desire. Emotional, feminine games. Yuck.

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

He should not buy a beer for somebody that fucked his wife.

[–]Wizardglick5 points6 points  (5 children) | Copy

Just remember to always keep in your mind that she didn’t end it, he did. That, and the fact that she didn’t come to you with what occurred, you had to go to her to find out. Mostlikely she never would have told you and continued had her ap not ended things. I know you want to stay for your kids, but know that the work you’re going to have to put into staying may be too much to handle. It’s going to be exhausting for you to keep constant tabs on her.

My brother cheated on his wife and they divorced. His kids were young when that occurred. They grew up just fine and have good jobs and families of their own now. Don’t think leaving means it’ll hurt the kids.

And I’m not sure what your plans are, but if it were me I’d demand she tell his wife. At least that’ll allow her to show you it’s over between them. She deserves that humility, you deserve that bit of satisfaction, and her little f*cker of a boyfriend gets what’s coming to him.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

“Just remember to always keep in your mind that she didn’t end it, he did”

Yep. Painful.

What’s going to happen is she will act all lovey dovey to him and throw that pink tang on him like never before - she’s afraid of losing her family and being outted as a whore to her friends and family- and OP will get roped back in.

They’ll live happily ever after.

[–]SeamusAwl4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

What’s going to happen is she will act all lovey dovey to him and throw that pink tang on him like never before - she’s afraid of losing her family and being outted as a whore to her friends and family- and OP will get roped back in.

That is called a pussy coma.

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Upvoted you, but, she wont give him any pussy. He's already giving her everything she wants, while he plans to "read up on divorce."

[–]InChargeManRed Beret4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Actually just mentioning to his wife that he will tell her boyfriend's wife will be a good test (not that there needs to be any more tests, he should leave her asap). I bet she freaks out, because she is of course still holding out feelings for him. If she really DNGAF about him then she wouldn't care if his life gets blown up too.

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Most excellent!

[–]redismyfuture6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Seriously...

She slept with him several times over the 5 months but claims never wanted to leave me, just got dragged into it as our relationship wasn't great. Of course, actions not words springs to mind.

That's what comes to mind? More like Alpha Fucks and Beta Bucks, and you faggot are Mr beta bucks. He provided the feels and the fucks, and you provided her with bucks to raise the kiddos. Classic hypergamy, how do you not see this? She even said it here..

She cried and said she doesn't want to lose me its all a mistake etc and she wants use to stay married forever..

I bet she didn't think it was a mistake when she was being this other guy's meat sock.

You need to kick her ass out, but you won't because you're a pussy. She'll do this again because you have no dignity or spine. She'll just get better at hiding it from you now.

Hope you like red-sfp's sloppy seconds faggot.

[–]SeamusAwl5 points6 points  (10 children) | Copy

Did you atleast tell her that you are taking time to decide between divorce and reconciliation? And during that "decision" time, your vows to her are null and void. However, if she wants to reconcile she has to all the heavy lifting (i.e. no fucking other men)? Honestly, your wife looks more like she is trying to sweep her affair under the rug and you are holding up the corner.

decide whether i will start meeting other women without her knowing and pull the trigger at the right time.

Why do you care about her not knowing this? Don't hide the fact you are meeting other women, but don't flaunt it either. If she asks, just tell her. As a consequence to her breaking her vows, yours are nullified.

As for that whore wife, these two statements are diametrically opposed..

"claims never wanted to leave me" and "she gave him a 'leave now or never' "

The cunt is trying to do damage control and is lying to you still. If she asked him to leave his wife, it was because she was going to leave you. It was a failed branch swing and any tears are because she got caught.

its all a mistake

A mistake is "I forgot to pay a bill" and having a 5 month relationship is an intentional choice. It was no mistake. Cmon you cuck, get your head out of your wifes ass.

[–]fruitylad[S] 0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy

Honestly, your wife looks more like she is trying to sweep her affair under the rug

I think that is what she is doing, so im sure she will cheat again when the chance comes up and play i love you im sorry until then. I just think i benefit from staying before then by seeing the kids every day, getting sex from her and also sleeping with other women without her knowing until i pull the trigger and leave if that happens before she leaves me. I have no intention of ever fixing thing with her long term as it cant ever happen.

[–]gameoflibidos2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

The I'm sorry i'll make up for fucking some other dude for 5 months.... lasts about a month max. She'll seem nice and it'll be like this can be good again...then boom.. you'll be all confused when she suddenly stops feeling bad about the past and turns right back into a harpy bitch... except now she's a harpy bitch that fucked another dude.

[–]fruitylad[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sad thing is, i know this, ive read others say this many times, fuck, its obvious that will happen really.

[–]friendandadvisor2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is the final paragraph of the Book of Troll.

Even cucks aren't this big a cuck.

[–]SeamusAwl1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

WTF! Who cares if she knows! As a consequence of her actions, it is all open on your side. It is part of your plan to determine if you want to stay married or get divorced from her.

[–]fruitylad[S] -1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy

I didnt think of it that way, i was thinking i want to hide it so she doesn't leave me, that way i get to leave when i have found someone and im ready

[–]BirdManBrrrr6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Why the fuck do you need another woman before you leave? Why do you need your life validated by a woman? Why are you basing your happiness on a woman?

Many guys in here had some degree of a similar experience (ILYBINILWY, etc) with their wives--me included--and had to make a very difficult decision on how we wanted our lives to proceed. It's simple and it's two distinct options that have nothing to do with divorce:

  1. Keep letting your life & happiness be dictated by other people...read: women/wife/etc. This means ignoring the large amount of good advice here and continuing on with the fairy tale you believe.

  2. Take ownership of your life, self actualize, become your own mental point of origin, and create your own reality.

This means admitting and accepting you're a weak faggot of a man, you got what you deserved from your whore wife, the fairytale isn't real, and making a decision to put in the difficult work to become the best version of yourself that isn't dependent on anyone or anything else for your happiness.

Your wife gave you a gift with her affair: she laid out your status as a weak, listless man not worthy of respect. That's the most honest gift you can ever get from her or anyone else. Mine was my wife giving me ILYBINILWY and asking for an open marriage. Never overtly caught her cheating, but there was enough vague circumstantial evidence to kick me in the balls and force me to decide what I wanted my life to be. Rinse and repeat with damn near every guy here in some manner. Thankfully I had guys here giving it to me straight, you're not likely to get that anywhere else.

You're in a tornado of shit right now and likely have no clue how to react or proceed. Like everyone else says, STFU, take some time to let the emotions settle, and get to work with figuring out next steps.

[–]SeamusAwl3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

She hid from you that she was trying to branch swing with another man. When he refused to leave his wife (because he just wanted to sink his big cock in your wife's wet and willing cunt) when she issued the ultimatum, she lamented that she had to break it off with him. She was probably hoping that if she disappeared, he would see that he really wanted her and decided to leave his wife for her. But you caught her and she was scared because Plan A (Him) failed and now Plan B (You) might be gone to. So your solution is to behave just like her? Nope, own your shit. Do not hide the fact that you consider the vows broken (because they are), but don't flaunt it. If she asks, just keep this on as a broken record and said calmly, "You broke the vows, and I am still trying to decide if you are worth keeping." But since I know that you are a willingly cucked faggot, I suggest you say nothing at all and just shrug.

[–]mindfulbutgutlessRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

so you want to branch swing now? username checks out

[–]FoxShitNasty831 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

He's all over the place, this guy seriously needs to stfu and get to a gym fucking pronto

[–]friendandadvisor5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

but im sure she wouldnt dare try now and i believe her that it really has ended..

LOL.

[–]Intellectualbeing933 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

What’s the point on asking for advice on this thread if you not going to take any of it. You fucking buckled and your considering taking her back. You’re a chump. No wonder why your why cheated on your beta ass you can’t even respect yourself. Pathetic

[–]coachdad84 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

She was so upset about sleeping with another guy, she did it for 5 months.

[–]friendandadvisor1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well, things weren't perfect with them, and "she was sort of dragged into it."

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Draw and quarter that puppy. It’s over and you know that. Even if you stay it’s over for you. You can never be happy knowing what she did and then will never respect yourself for staying. Go find a lawyer. Today. Tell her to get out for a week for you to process this.

This is hard, I get that. But how much of of a beta are you to excuse this shit? This wasn’t a one night thing, this wasn’t a mistake, this was lengthy and long term emotional and physical affair. You’re second best to her and always will be. I couldn’t ever live with that... even before finding RP. This wasn’t involuntary manslaughter it was first degree murder of your marriage.

Lift, sidebar, stfu, and lawyer up. Or be miserable for the rest of your life. There’s really no middle ground.

[–]Tiway223 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Awww how cute! She had valentines day plans! You should forgive her, because that’s just so nice.

Just kidding you pussy. Dump this cheating skank bitch to the curb!!! She fucked another guy.

Ah who are we kidding, you’re going to stay with her. You’ve probably fallen for her makeup sex play too. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

[–]friendandadvisor2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You’ve probably fallen for her makeup sex play too. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

LOL, it's all part of his Master Plan! He's going to let her cuck him, and he'll play along as if he were a cuck! Then, when she divorce rapes him, he'll act as if he's all upset! Can you imagine the look on her face when he forces her to take 1/2 of all of his possessions and his kids! Priceless!

[–]red-pill-man3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Um, "Fruitylad", why don't you just tell the wife to invite the boyfirend over because it's obvious you'd love to watch her swallow his jizz.

[–]CaliEd2563 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Recurring theme seems to be whether to bust the wife for cheating to friends/family.

Scenarios:

1) You’re a strong alpha male with a vision. You can’t be bothered with the drama, so you divorce her quickly, efficiently and ruthlessly.

2) You’re an emotional mess, and it’s embarrassing (of course it is) that you got cheated on. Maybe she didn’t really mean to, and it was only a couple times, and the kids, and I’ll just lift more, and and and...... You’re back together, trying to pretend like nothing happened. But you won’t be able to forget.

Burn that fucker down. Burn every goddamn bridge you had with her. Tell every friend, every family member, her dad, her mom, her co workers.

FUCK IT, tell the kids. Right in front of her. “Mommy made some mistakes and now she is going to move out. This happens sometimes, but we both love you very much.”

If you don’t burn it down, you’ll just end up wasting another year before she leaves you on her own terms. And she’ll take this kids and half your money while she’s at it.

You’re not strong enough to stay on the path of strength/cold revenge (as others have told you). So tell the world she cheated and start moving on.

[–]friendandadvisor2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

She slept with him several times over the 5 months

Several hundred times

but claims never wanted to leave me,

...until he left his wife...

just got dragged into it as our relationship wasn't great.

I know the OP won't pay any attention, but, I have to question: Is the relationship now great? No? Hmmm...does this mean that she will 'just get dragged into' another affair or two, until your relationship becomes great again?? BTW, she will resent your demands for her transparency, and she will call that 'not great'. And, fuck others, because your relationship isn't great.

BTW, what does 'just got dragged into it' mean? He forced her? Or, he asked her out for a drink, took her home, and fucked her ass?

Of course, actions not words springs to mind.

Don't...just don't.

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Holy fucktard batman. EVERY man on the thread said STFU...you told her every god damn faggoty thing that came into your not yet red pill mind. Whether you were going to leave her or not (to each his own) you needed more than anything to STFU. She now knows that you're thinking about divorce and she has to prepare to fight (watch out for DV claims and other attempts to make you appear to be the bad guy). She now knows that you know she fucked another man. She now knows that you're so worthless (and KNOW that you are) that you're willing to stay with her after she fucked another man while married to you and while raising your children - all on your dime. You probably paid for their first hotel room where he fucked her little asshole. Point being - how is she ever going to respect you when you don't respect yourself enough to kill the fucking puppy? I was all for you staying with her while you sort your shit out and work your map and strategizee your exit...but you fucked this up royally.

You might as well post craigslist ads to find some big dicked black dudes to fuck her 4 at a time while you watch. She'll respect you more than she does now if you open up about your cuck fantasies.

[–]heretoowin4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sorry your going through this and things will get better, I get people make mistakes, your mistake would be staying with her. I wont assume i know your situation , with children its ever harder but get the best Divorce lawyer you can afford. Good Luck

[–]fuckmrpRed Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

When you stick your head in the sand you leave your ass in the air... to get fucked.

Good luck bitch, you'll need it.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

usually that means it might start up again but im sure she wouldnt dare try now and i believe her that it really has ended.

If she wants to continue fucking him, she'll find a way to do so without alerting you. Creating a dummy email address, logging in strictly in secret/incognito mode, and making plans for when she knows you're busy isn't all that difficult. This is why it's paramount that you become your own point of origin. You can drive yourself to the point of exhaustion trying to police her behavior and it won't make a difference.

Now whats left to do is read everything about divorce, decide how long to stay, decide whether i will start meeting other women without her knowing and pull the trigger at the right time.

Just make sure that this is what you're actually doing. It's easy for the hamster to run amok and convince you that you're sticking to a rational plan of action, when in reality you're just avoiding what needs to be done. "Read everything about divorce" is one of those nebulous phrases that you can milk for as long as you like, so be extra careful with that. Kill your ego and be as honest as you can with yourself right now. That's how you'll make the best of this and come out better on the other side.

[–]Morpheus_TNTB1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

One question..."How did he taste cuck?" You know what you need to do to have any self-respect! If you choose to go down the path of forgiveness & restoration you will induce severe mental anguish into your life. She's not attracted to you and she will do what it takes to keep you from leaving until she can safely branch/rape you in court.

[–]gameoflibidos1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Lots of lies and bullshit. Don't believe a word of it.

It's a long road you don't want to travel brother. Next her. At the very least, kick her out for awhile, do NOT give instant forgiveness.

Don't you FUCKING DARE going to any valentines day "plans" .... you shouldn't even see her face that day. She should be kicked out staying somewhere else.

I'm telling you... if you say... i'll give you another chance, lets just move forward with no other repercussions and go out to dinner with her whore ass... you just prove to her that you are just a giant unfuckable pussy.

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lots of lies and bullshit. Don't believe a word of it.

It's a long road you don't want to travel brother. Next her. At the very least, kick her out for awhile, do NOT give instant forgiveness.

Don't you FUCKING DARE going to any valentines day "plans" .... you shouldn't even see her face that day. She should be kicked out staying somewhere else.

I'm telling you... if you say... i'll give you another chance, lets just move forward with no other repercussions and go out to dinner with her whore ass... you just prove to her that you are just a giant unfuckable pussy.

Yes, he knows that, but, his plan is to play along with her and support her, and then, one day, he'll turn the tables and be Alpha! For the Kids!

[–]Don_Draper271 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I have to mention this to you OP that right now you have a ton of objectives in front of you.

You have your kids whom I'm sure you want to spend every second with right now as it's a possibility that you won't have this much freedom with them much longer.

You have the divorce to look into. You need to spend a few hours or maybe even days or weeks researching scenarios for your situation and talking to lawyers.

You have your career which also needs attention as you could very well be in a financial struggle.

You have your SMV value to attend to as you have temptations to date other women and eventually be single again so right now you're trying to lift, eat better, learn game, practice social skills, etc.

You have so much shit in front of you and not only does all of this take a ton of energy and time, but you also have the depression, stress, and anxiety of reflecting on your wife's infidelity which will drain your much needed energy.

My point is, you need to get your priorities and plan of action straight as soon as possible. Trying to cram a ton of red pill advice / theories and trying to take action in every possible self improvement aspect of your life may very well burn you out.

Minimize any time wasted (TV, sports, video games, social media, etc) and focus solely on your top priorities right now. Once you get the ball rolling on your divorce, then maybe you can put your attention more on pick-up.

[–]ParaXilo1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Summary cause you won't listen anyway.

STFU.

Lift.

Read the sidebar.

Give less fucks.

Should have read the art of war. I haven't read it but I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to show your hand to the enemy. You're gonna have a bad time.

[–]360_no_scope_upvote1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This post made me vomit, the blatant lack of self respect is nauseating. This is so tragically pathetic.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (31 children) | Copy

But I feel like I can give you another chance as we have a long history

Never in a million years for me.

decide whether i will start meeting other women without her knowing

If you have documented evidence of infidelity , why on earth muddy up your own water for a sympathetic judge? And in my state infidelity kills alimony... unless it's on both sides.

Whats clear is things can never go back to what they were

Right, so in the future don't fuck up and vet properly, and have "the just good times" going forward without the baggage with someone(s) else.

decide how long to stay

As long as it takes you to get a good divorce attorney and what the state allows.

[–]fruitylad[S] 0 points1 point  (30 children) | Copy

Im in the UK, I told her i'll give her another chance is just to keep her thinking im still committed to her until im ready to leave, as i 100% will do at some point

[–]PersaeusRed Beret3 points4 points  (25 children) | Copy

Did you fuck her last night ?

[–]gettingmymojobackRed Beret5 points6 points  (22 children) | Copy

If this wasn't the occasion for ATM then I don't know what the fuck is anymore....

OP had a free pass to use her as a cum dumpster and blew it.

[–]SteelToeShitKickerRed Beret3 points4 points  (21 children) | Copy

Yeah seriously. If this happened to me and I was stupid enough to consider not just kicking the bitch out, she wouldn't be able to open her mouth around the house without my dick being in it.

[–]fruitylad[S] 0 points1 point  (20 children) | Copy

Going to fuck her tonight, im a mess, going to just read every comment on here 5 times over the next few days and let it all sink in, and be 100% clear on what im going to do.

[–]mindfulbutgutlessRed Beret8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

going to? stop lying to yourself and us. You were going to STFU. You were going to meet with a lawyer. You were going to.... What have you done? Have you hit them gym? have you gamed 10 other women? have you read the fucking sidebar?

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

and be 100% clear on what im going to do.

If you have any questions on what you're going to do, just post them here. We ALL know EXACTLY what you are going to do.

[–]gameoflibidos0 points1 point  (17 children) | Copy

The first fucking thing you should do if you don't kick her out, which you should, is AT LEAST tell the other mans wife.

He's fucking terrified you'll say something... and you fucking should. And she should know she destroyed his family.

Consequences asshole.. you are letting her rug sweep this. DON'T

[–]gettingmymojobackRed Beret5 points6 points  (9 children) | Copy

What does he stand to gain from this?

OP has already stated he's a manlet. He's already getting cucked by another man. You want him to catch a beating too for ruining that guys marriage?

Your suggestion is a terrific example of what an emotional woman would do. Fly off the handle and try and get some revenge on the other party.

You forget however that revenge is a dish best served cold. OP has already fucked up by revealing his hand and not STFU. Now that he has blown that shit up, he may as well enjoy the ride that Chad got while she is feeling guilty and afraid of losing her plough horse.

I'd be working her over mercilessly instead. May as well start living out some of his filthiest fantasies with her, while stringing her along and plotting HIS exit strategy.

When it's time to serve the papers, that's when it hits her. He used her like a box of Kleenex. THAT'S consequences.

Or he can go start some drama instead, get his face caved in, and not get his dick fucked and sucked untill it's raw.

[–]SeamusAwl2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

What does he stand to gain from this?

Self Respect.

[–]fruitylad[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Now that he has blown that shit up, he may as well enjoy the ride that Chad got while she is feeling guilty and afraid of losing her plough horse.

Fucked her last night, as you say, got her to BJ me, hasnt dont that in years and wear lingerie that i like, again, usually wont. Im going to enjoy her guilt before it fades. Im getting more comfortable about leaving as each day passes, again as said before, although i hate hearing this stuff from everyone here, i know your right, ive read it all before. When it happens to you though it harder to think logically about it all. I know thats why STFU, I know all this stuff, thats a major reason i feel so bad, i know i could have prevented this happening.

[–]gameoflibidos-3 points-2 points  (6 children) | Copy

Nope, you tell everyone. Consequences. Anything else is rug sweeping.

UNLESS he intends to just walk now, have almost no contact again except through lawyers and to handle kids. And just moves on right then and there.

[–]gettingmymojobackRed Beret1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

Last time I checked, OP has no vows exchanged with the other man. That man owes him nothing.

I'll let you in on a secret. If you're being cucked, it's because one way or another you deserve it. Wether you're a beta chump, or just vetted poorly. It's your own fault.

Finish choking down the pill.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Disagree. OP gains nothing by telling them. Wife potentially gets another shot at the branch swing she wanted if AP's wife ends up leaving him over this.

[–]SeamusAwl0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

That depends on the situation. In the OPs case, the other guy clearly was only using the OPs wife. When she gave him an ultimatum (she wanted to leave the OP), he chose his own wife and family over her. Based on similar reactions to getting exposed in the infidelity subs, the cheaters usually turn their anger on their affair partners. There is a high chance the other guy will blame his new found problems on the OPs wife for not keeping this between them.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yeah, that actually makes sense as well.

Still not crazy about the idea of OP even concerning himself with the other couple though. His issue is with his wife, and if the greatest punishment he can inflict on her is to threaten her standing with another man, then he has bigger things to work on than her.

[–]fruitylad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I didnt say anywhere here, but the guys wife already knows, and know for a while before it ended, she took him back.

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Disagree. OP gains nothing by telling them. Wife potentially gets another shot at the branch swing she wanted if AP's wife ends up leaving him over this.

Haven't you read the OPs Mystery Plan? It's gold, Jerry! Gold!

[–]The_LitzRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Don't be insensitive, she was crying those special lady tears. Flowers and a footrub is what is called for.

[–]fruitylad[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

No, i wont for a while, but when i do it'll be as i want it.

[–]mindfulbutgutlessRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I call bullshit. Stop moving the goal post. stop talking about what you are going to do, and start doing, or at very least say what you have done....aside from not taking people's advice.

[–]SeamusAwl1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

He also helped her sweep the affair under a rug and is trying really damn hard to forget it happened.

[–]friendandadvisor1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Another 10 years is NOT 'just to keep her thinking'. Sorry, there is a time limit on that sort of thing.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

So long as you have a clear goal.

I'd still cut the fuse on this firecracker very short.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Wow.

Just wow.

This is just such a fucking train wreck.

OP out this bitch and him to their families and all their friends. Seriously. I’m sure some of her friends know and have made the butt of many jokes. It’s time to seriously turn the tables

If you have one shred of self respect,you would act swiftly.

Sidebar and lift. Lawyer up. She is a cunt of mass proportions

[–]IRunYourRiver0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is a process and no one likes it. But, as was said in the last post about this, your marriage is over and somewhere deep down inside you know that already. Even if you are magically able to start pulling plates while remaining married after several decades out of the SMP, the higher-level abstraction of "your marriage" in the way you conceptualized it, no longer exists. The bit about your kids is just your current excuse. I suspect there will be more excuses before you're ready. Such is the path.

[–]Halry10 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Have you told the guys wife?

Also, do you subconsciously have a cuckold fetish or something? You know, because you’re staying with your wife..who betrayed you..for half a year.

[–]Bedtimeshine-1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy

Since you already shit the bed and shank punted your self respect out of bounds did you atleast inform the guys wife?

[–]fruitylad[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

She already found out a while before it ended, she took him back

[–]Bedtimeshine0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

How do you know? You talk to her personally or did your wife tell you that?

[–]fruitylad[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

It was in the text message export i got from her phone, he didnt want to leave his kids and my wife was telling her sister she though her AP's wife would leave after xmas as she knew what was going on. Later on though its clear she took him back.

[–]Bedtimeshine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You still need to have a talk with the wife. Even if just tobask her why didn’t tell you.



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