Hi Guys, advise needed.
My wife gave me a version of the i love you but im not in love with you speech 5 month ago, up until then relationship have been ok but not great.
After the speech I immediately got reading on here, reading sidebar material, started concentrating on passing shit tests, started lifting and dressing a little better. Things between wife an I started getting better, less harpy, generally happier, started touching me more etc, still very little sex though.
Thought I had saved things just in time and vowed to continue improving, but she had a few subtle signs she was cheating. Athol Kay says the speech usually means someone else is on the scene, she was very protective of her phone sometimes when i wanted to use the camera, wanted anal sex for first time ever randomly, was getting her vagina waxed for first time ever and getting lots of eyebrow/nail treatments done, more than usual and she worded a few thing funny on a couple of occasions during normal conversion. She said would i sleep with other girls if she said i could once (Of course so i would let her do the same.)
I put these things to the back of my mind until i sneaked her phone at night the other day and exported all the SMS messages from it, read through and she had an affair starting just before the speech and it ended 2 weeks ago, the other guy said he wouldn't leave his wife and kids for her. She caught me putting the phone back as she woke up, asked me what i was doing, got very mad that i violated her privacy but I said i was just copying the family photos to back them up as i have done in the past, i have never looked at her phone like that though. She got very suspicious but now believes i dont know anything as i didn't confront her.
What should i do?
Im sure most will say hard next, confront her, arrange looking after the kids between her and move on. Trouble is my kids are everything to me and i cant stand the though of not liking under the same roof as them 7 days a week. If I hard next it would be 3.5 days at best, with her potentially making thing difficult in future.
I think a better option is to not let her know I know, concentrate on the kids, be happy that i can be fully part of there life and live with them when there young, and in a few years confront her and end it when the kids are a little older. Whilst doing this i can see other women without her knowing and keep improving and hopefully find a nice girl to hop to once i end it in a few years time.
I understand its over and she will probably do it again, giving her a second chance is out of the question as its 6 month affair, not just a drunken mistake, she probably would have left me if the other guy would have left his wife. My dilemma revolves around the kids being the world to me, so should i stay with her for them or is this a bad idea for other reasons.
Any thoughts, I dont know what to do?