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1 rebuttal that has always stumped me. How do you best deal with this?

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January 11, 2019

This is a general long-term question, not a “what do I do right now?” question. This has plagued me for decades. This one thing has cropped up many times over the years. The situation is always with a girl I know is ready, and things are about to get serious physically and there’s a last minute “what about your GF/wife?” Always worded exactly the same. That one locks me up. My brain wants to say “WTF are you talking about, you don’t give a shit”, but I just stammer out something . I’d say progress at that point has been 50/50. I can’t ever remember how I respond that’s successful. What the fuck is their goal with this last minute blocker, what are they trying to accomplish? What’s the best way to deal with this?

Post Information
Title 1 rebuttal that has always stumped me. How do you best deal with this?
Author prometheus_winced
Upvotes 12
Comments 43
Date 11 January 2019 04:30 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/203683
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/aerp10/1_rebuttal_that_has_always_stumped_me_how_do_you/
Similar Posts

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret12 points13 points  (2 children) | Copy

It’s the madonna whore complex.

Use their favorite line “I’ve never done anything like this before.”

[–]dwayneglasscock4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Third rate romance, low rent rendezvous.

[–]prometheus_winced[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That is brilliant.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (8 children) | Copy

"Are you saying you want a 3 way?"

Sounds like typical ASD/LMR to me.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red11 points12 points  (2 children) | Copy

I don’t like this response because you are answering a question with a question.

A question she can easily hamster into:

“NO! What am I some sort of slut to you?”

Now you have blue balls

No woman would bite on this and say YES on date one.

To much risk.

Sounds nice on here in an echo chamber of men whores, but not practical IRL. Not the time for AA IMO

Plus didn’t you learn in third grade to not answer a question with a question?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Guess I found the unicorn that would bite, because that's verbatim what I said the last time I got this question. She called me an asshole, play slapped me on the chest, and immediately picked up where we left off.

Pretty sure the question for a question rule assumes that the response question is actually serious. This was framed more in a "just joking... unless you want to do it" sort of way.

To much risk.

Tell me who the prize is again?

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dont DEER faggot, but just pointing out that your sample size is 1.

Let me know what your success rate is on 10 women using this line.

Tell me who the prize is again?

We all know who the prize is.

[–]prometheus_winced[S] 3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy

That’s absolutely it. For some reason at this line, my brain snaps into logical mode and gets frustrated with the absurdity of the situation instead of finding an easy way to flippantly play it off.

I think the best response I managed was very similar to this. I said something like, “Later; I get you first”.

[–]CaliEd2563 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

Both great responses. I like the implied/covert “you first”. Covertly placing her at a higher level of importance than your LTR. Doesn’t matter if it’s true, but their female competitive nature is going to eat that up and push through any last minute guilt/asd they have.

Any response that makes her laugh, while still avoiding any guilt-inducing statements. You don’t want her identifying with your gf/wife.

[–]prometheus_winced[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yeah - for this one particular case, it’s possibly educational to explain more context. I’ll call new girl B. LTGF is A.

B was very cool, very bi, and really into A. She had actually whispered to me “If I get A, can I have you too?”

We had just gotten to know each other. A was theoretically up for it, but very skittish and shy. A was going to be out of town for the weekend. B was actually moving in with us. Night 1, B and I got to hang out all night and collapsed in my/As bed that night. We were about to get into it when she hit me with the “what about A?”

My brain locked. The perfect answer would have been, “You’re going to get your chance, but you’re mine first”. It perfectly fit the situation. But I was in brain lock, and a blue pill chicken, and couldn’t use it. I was able to use that line much later in another case.

As a lesson to everyone, we never completely pulled this off, and it would have been a glorious 3 way LTR. I just didn’t have a clue at the time, and couldn’t put the pieces together. It was literally all there, interest on everyone’s part, it just needed steady leadership and some assembly required.

Oh well. No regerts. Paid my stupid tax. Learned from it.

[–]CaliEd2560 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Just to clarify, you moved Girl B in and the very same night cheated (red pill is amoral, doesn’t matter, but if LTR didn’t know it’s cheating) with Girl A?

You do you, but I predict this will blow up in your face.

My LTR likes it when I fuck other girls, but she picks them off Tinder, she texts them for me and she sets up the time for me to go fuck them. She thinks it’s hot, and I get to fuck other girls, and she still feels in control/gets to be Queen of the Harem.

That being said, this would NEVER work in my situation. Hey, you could just have more game than me. But it’s pretty hard for me to picture her being cool with it once she finds out. She has no say in what happens, and it’s IN HER FACE every single day.

Again, she doesn’t know now, but this is like banging a co-worker, people always find out.

Props on pulling two girls though, shit is amazing.

[–]prometheus_winced[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Already lived with A, had been together for years. We met B through friends. Both liked her for different reasons. She was a very cool “guy like” girl that I enjoyed hanging out with one on one, but we were all friends together as well.

She was smitten with my gf A. Asked if she could have us both. I said yes. LTGF was down for it, we just flubbed the opportunity and then it never happened down the road.

B needed a place to move to right around this same time we all met. Moved in with us. The night I helped her move, A was out of town. B and I wound up in the bed that night. But literally turned into spooning. LTGF A was down with the whole plan of the 3 of us getting together - the only thing hinky was none of us expected B and I to wind up in that opportunity in the bed talking and spooning all night, while A was gone. That wasn’t the opportunity I was expecting - and I think it threw me off a little. Felt a little guilty, but also “this is 99% about to happen”. But, the “what about A?” line blew me out of the groove.

I absolutely blew a great chance for all three of us together during that period of our lives. It got brought up a few times, but was always “it’ll happen guys, we don’t have to rush it”. I definitely declined in SMV in B’s eyes over time. She was really impressed with me out of the gate, and was DTF, and I kind of nerded my value down over time.

Can’t fix the past. No problems came out of it. We were all friends. B eventually dated someone new and moved to a different state.

(Edit: better explained some things)

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Rejoice! What an awesome problem to have. This is the best askMRP thread in ages. I have no advice.

[–]Tiway229 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

“Which one?”

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red10 points11 points  (4 children) | Copy

All I do is pop a cocky smile, shrug my shoulders and go in for the next thing I wanted.

A few times I did the same thing plus I would cover their mouth as if to say “stop talking”

Depending on my mood.

Always worked.

Never used words.

Shrugging shoulders = I don’t care.

If I don’t care, why should you?

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sometimes you say more, by saying less. When in doubt, STFU.

[–]BostonBrakeJob3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

I hope OP can see the forrest through the trees in your response.

...and go in for the next thing I wanted.

Depending on my mood.

I envy your autopilot here. I'm wired up more like an engineer, great for when the car breaks down...not so good when it comes to social interactions in general. Something I've wanted to change about myself for awhile now, very little of the reprogramming has stuck...yet.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

I envy your autopilot here.

Lots of trial and error brother.

I will say the spectrum of ASD is far and wide. I started using the "stop talking" thing on girls who had a very high ASD or were what I would consider "brats"

Brats are a whole different type of woman that I have started to learn about, and something that just IS NOT covered here at all.

Brats require you to be highly overt, demanding and on the spectrum of James Bond. Just fucking take what you want.

The first girl I did this with was the first Brat I ran into. She tried, and tried to quite frankly piss me off all night. But I quickly learned her game.

The more she tried, the more I upped her, the more she tried until the point she just gave up. Realized she would never win.

Had I gave a single fuck I would have lost. But I literally treated her like a little whore thot.

Once I covered her mouth, she finally shutup and submitted.

It was fun. 10/10 would do again.

[–]Kpwn880 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Brats require you to be highly overt, demanding and on the spectrum of James Bond. Just fucking take what you want.

This is my wife. On the downside, I never receive random unsolicited blowjobs or affection. The upside, if I want these things, all I do is tell her to come over here and suck my cock or put her hands around me. She always complies.

[–]ozfish8310 points11 points  (10 children) | Copy

She wants to know your putting her first and also that your wife won't find out. So something like 'it'll be our little secret' would work.

[–]prometheus_winced[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ah... that makes a lot of sense and that’s a good reply.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red3 points4 points  (7 children) | Copy

your wife won't find out


She doesnt fucking care about the wife finding out.

Why on earth would ANYONE upvote this bluepill bullshit.

Anyone thinking this is correct has absolutely NO IDEA how the female mind words.

Y'all need to get back to work.

[–]haraishi0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Its sure as shit plain that she knows she doesnt care and you know she doesnt care but she wants to FEEL like she cares and is not a slut for knowingly sleeping with a taken man. ASD and all

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red5 points6 points  (5 children) | Copy

not a slut for knowingly sleeping with a taken man.

Again. Wrong.

Her sleeping with a taken man in no way shape or form will make her feel like a slut.

Her sleeping with a man may/may not make her feel like a slut depending on the mans value.

That is the point of ASD.

Low value men trigger ASD as a final shit test before she decides to give herself up.

High value men, do not trigger ASD for this reason.

High value men trigger ASD as a manipulation tactic by the woman. She is attempting to figure out where on the ladder she is, and if you will pump and dump or call back.

The point of not answering this question (as a high value man such as myself) directly is to not let her know where she stands on the ladder.

You want her to assume she is at the bottom so she performs in a way to get to the top.

The shoulder shrug should be the defacto answer for this question as stated in my previous replies.

[–]RPWolfAlpha_as_Wolf_2.00 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Her sleeping with a taken man in no way shape or form will make her feel like a slut.

People that matter finding out she is sleeping with a taken man is the problem. There are two things that women hate being called:

1) A bad mom.

2) A home wrecker.

[–]haraishi0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

this, however if she asks this question and you provide an appropriately reasonable response she can and will avoid all repercussions in HER mind. That hampster is a powerful beast.

[–]RPWolfAlpha_as_Wolf_2.00 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Plausible deniability is key. Women can rationalize any situation into not having anything or everything to do with them.

[–]haraishi0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, didnt realize this until after reading up on the rp. Really made me understand the missus a lot better. It fucks me how easy she can rationalize things sometimes

[–]haraishi0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Interesting, I do like your response as it puts the onus on them to make up their own mind. I figured the question comes so they can hampster out of feeling the slightest bit of feeling bad OR making a decision by justifying things as being out if their control. If you have such a high SMV would they bother asking the question in the first place though? Or would they be to busy gobbling down your manhood to ask questions...

[–]Kpwn880 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Women love when the wife finds out. It's called competition. Ever heard the term, "homewrecker"?

[–]FeralRed1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

" It's fine, I'll show her the video tomorrow. BTW, I need a little more lighting on this side of the, bed, Steve.... and.... Action!"

Like any LMR/ASD, show her that you understand her "concern", and that in reality everything's ok and there's "no big deal" happening here. Distract and disarm.

The other way to go is to upsell the idea of sneakiness/naughtyness, but that's a very fine edge to balance on.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

what about your GF/wife?

Do you want her to join us? We can do that next time. Right now I want you for myself.

[–]An_Actual_Politician1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

I'm kinda in this boat as someone who came to MRP after it was too late to save my marriage (caught her mid-branch swing). So I'm still married while I work the overlapping stay/go plan and move her from a SAHM to a working mom so I don't get completely obliterated in divorce court, while I make the most of seeing my two little girls every day - which will unfortunately end post-divorce.

In the meantime I'm enjoying my newfound freedom to fuck whoever I want guilt-free.

If you're up to it, just lie and build a narrative that she cheated on you (to head off that question, if you spring it on her in the moment it reeks of DEERing). I'm up front with my plates/ONSs about this and that's the end of the questions every time. They don't even care that I'm still married and living in the same house as the stbxw. It's always more than good enough for them.

[–]vileoat2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Wow, dude. Maybe it's just me, but "got cheated" card is the worst thing I have done ever. It's launching hamster immediately, ruins any prevalidation and your status.

[–]An_Actual_Politician1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I get that and it totally makes sense. I'm just providing my field report here, take it for what it's worth.

Maybe it really does work against me and everything else I do (lifting, looks, conversation, eye contact, status in my community, career, etc.) is enough to sail past it. But I have yet to have it backfire so far.

I also talk about how she wants to work it out but how I can't be with a cheater, liar, someone if low value like that. Maybe that saves the pre selection part?

Whatever the fuck it is it's working for me, at least. But I can always do better so thanks for the feedback.

[–]BarracudaRP0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

So you're telling the truth about being married, but lying about being cheated on in order to elicit enough sympathy from your plate to overcome her LMR/ASD? I'm not against lying but this one is coming at your expense.

Just tell her the truth: "My wife is leaving me because of my micropenis", at least then you'll be owning your shit

[–]kiraatbashi 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

Cheating on your girlfriends and wife for decades? Wow, you sound like a *wonderful* person. Integrity is completely lost on you. Why do you need to be faking a committed relationship when you can just have fun being single/divorced? You must have left quite a path of destruction in your wake over the years.

[–]prometheus_winced[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Read the rules.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No concern trolling or moralizing.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

What are your stats ?

Do you lift regularly ?

Body fat percentage ?

What was the time table verbal intercourse before ecsalation ? Timing ?

How many times did you refer to your kids, or LTR ?

“What, you can’t keep a secret ?” “Oh, I’ve never done anything like this before...”

“Fun is guilt free, especially when kept between two consenting adults”

[–]CaliEd2565 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

“Consenting”? Holy Fuck, never use that word. Why don’t you just tell her to contact MeToo and set up the blackmail now. Jesus Christ.

That being said, we can assume OP has a decently high SMV (or the confidence of one) to get side pieces, given that it’s come up repeatedly throughout his life. So I doubt whether knowing his bench press is 180 or 240 is going to help us answer his question.

I agree with previous posters, this is standard ASD. AND they’re concerned about some crazy bitch coming after them. AA this all the way.

[–]prometheus_winced[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I don’t claim to be any great shakes. I’m a smart guy and I don’t look like a bridge troll. I’ve got enough confidence to try.

Like I said, this has happened under various contexts, so describing each GF or wife situation at that moment isn’t really fruitful. My question was more about how this particular objection locks me up and confuses me, and I needed some mirrors to see around this particular blind spot. I think I definitely have a better perspective on it now.

[–]prometheus_winced[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

All good points.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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