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Is marrying an older woman a bad idea?

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January 5, 2019
11 upvotes

Thought I ask here since people have more experience here. I am 34 and she is 39. We are together for half a year, and I need to decide if I want to make it more serious or let her go.

The main reason the age gap is bothering me is attractiveness. Although she looks great now, I imagine being 40, in my prime, and she will already be 46, and each year passing the looks gap will get worse.

Also, I am worried about having children at her age (she didn't have any yet).

Otherwise, she is loyal, submissive, calm, wise and generally a pleasure to be with.


Post Information
Title Is marrying an older woman a bad idea?
Author wild_deer_man
Upvotes 11
Comments 25
Date 05 January 2019 10:20 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/203694
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/act0f8/is_marrying_an_older_woman_a_bad_idea/
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Comments

[–]The_LitzRed Beret26 points27 points  (0 children) | Copy

Only if all of the following criteria is met:

  • She is as hot as a 20yo

  • She is an only child and her parents are filthy filthy rich.

  • She has no kids

  • She doesn't want any kids.

  • She has long hair

  • She can cook like a chef.

Jokes aside, my buddy married a woman 10 years older than him. He is 50 now. She is on pension. Let that sink for you.

I enjoy older women's company. There are some good women out there, but to be honest, marriage will never be on the cards.

[–]Redpillbrigade1716 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dude . You must figure out by yourself what you want. Stop asking strangers over the internet what to do with your life.

You know deep inside something is off. If it’s “bothering “ you know just wait till you guys get in a married couple routine and 5 -7 yrs from now your soul may be really crushed every time you look at her. You also like deep inside the comfort and how she’s pleasant in the near term. Are you fooling yourself? Figure out what you want.

Are you guys exclusive? I assume you’re playing the field. But even if you do, without knowing what you want you’re a rudderless dingy in the waves and boom: here come shrewd hypergamous ladies and snap you up with their game before you can spell MRP. They’ll even make you think you wanted something you don’t.

Like the Cheshire cat said to Alice: “doesn’t matter which road you take. If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there.”

[–]Two_kids_in_a_coat7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not if you want kids.

[–]TaipanshimshonRed Beret6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes. It’s a horrible idea.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy

i can only see one potential advantage of an older gal (at your age) for marriage/LTR. she is either past the baby rabies or her kids are grown and moved out.

taking out the special snowflake sauce she's obviously feeding you, problems with an older woman include but are not limited to:

  • as you mention, her attractiveness is likely heading for a cliff. this cliff will likely come faster once she locks you down unless she's a true blue fitness fanatic. suggest you check the family/photo and see how women in her family age. i will say if she is non-white; and in particular Asian, she probably looks younger than you now and will more likely age well.

  • that five years significantly increases the odds that you will be taking care of her and burying her; rather than other way around. you may not have much experience with this yet; but this is a supersized shit sandwich.

  • unless she is rich, she is likely going to want to retire well before you and will be a financial drain.

Also, I am worried about having children at her age (she didn't have any yet).

are you fucking insane? look up rates of retardation, downs, "difficult pregancies", and other defects . . . the rates start rapidly increasing after 33-35 and go through the roof after 40. seriously, your gambling with your entire life on this ridiculous idea. biology made the wall for a reason.

the real question i have to ask is why are you even considering getting married? in general, and in particular for you since if memory serves me you just got out of a failed marriage not too long ago?

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

the rates start rapidly increasing after 33-35 and go through the roof after 40. seriously, your gambling with your entire life on this ridiculous idea. biology made the wall for a reason.

Smh. He was going to do that research after the baby was born

[–]framelessglasses6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you think 40-46 Is a problem, think about 60-66. No way.....

[–]captainbourbon504 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Wife and I are swingers. I am mid 50s and she is almost 10 yrs younger. I can tell you I have never played with a woman in the lifestyle older than 50. My last partner was 30. Attractive woman over 50 ish are rare unless they are thin, very fit and do alot to augment their attractiveness. You should be nailing some 25 year old. Improve your smv and get back out there.

[–]Frosteecat5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’m almost 7 years older than mine and I’d say our post-40 looks are on par. The wall is brutal to women after 40. Works for me since my SMV gap has closed dramatically in the last few years. But if you want to have a family, etc you are already in a biological danger zone.

[–]Kpwn883 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Only if she's

[–]nonnimooseWoman, something something dark side2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You are in your prime now. Why is this an either/or thing? The only reason I can think of is because you want to settle down and have kids - so if not with this one, then best start looking for someone else.

I repeat, you are in your prime now. Why waste it on a woman you can't possibly truly want to marry? If you did, you wouldn't be asking this question on this sub.

[–]jacowezo2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

No. Simply no. Be with her if you want but do not marry. Really man, just read a little bit more here.

Want kids? Find some 24-27 and impregnate her.

[–]nastynickdrRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The only valid reason to go through all the risks of marriage is If you want to start a family. She os already 39, kinda late for that. And women age faster than men.

[–]suprathepeg1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Take if from one who has made this mistake. Marriage is for raising children, that is it. Our ancestors knew this and the modern wold has made this abundantly clear.

FYI your making a huge gamble having kits with an older woman.

[–]gvntr1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is exactly right. No better mission than raising children, but if that it not the mission, then marriage is not the answer.

[–]gvntr1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She will be in menopause before you know it.

Eight years of misery for you.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Yes

You are going to spend a lot of time trying to prove it to momma vs living your life.

If you ever thought life was hell, have a baby that has special needs. Nothing you can do for the wife will ever be right. Ever older chicks run high incidents of kids not being heathy

[–]470_2_700_nm0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

“If you ever thought life was hell, have a baby that has special needs. Nothing you can do for the wife will ever be right.”

I disagree. MRP principals can handle this just fine. I play the cards, regardless of what they are, I’m dealt and win. If i don’t it is on me.

Aside from that, all that is written about the higher risk of problem births with older moms is true. That OP has control of.

[–]boy_named_su0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes

[–]adeptintact0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

After the age of 35, women's fertility decreases drastically. She really may not be able to have children at her age. It is something to consider if you are fine not having kids the rest of your life, or you're ok with adoption.

[–]DancesWithPugs0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you want kids, hell no. If you want a stable companion, go for it... years later if the infatuation hasn't degraded into contempt and boredom.

. Even then, legal marriage is a lot of financial chains to attach for not much benefit.

6 months is too soon to be considering. Concentrate on enjoying your life in the present, planning your furture without trying to lock it down with contracts.

[–]coachdad80 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Elizabeth Hurley is 53

[–]Reach180Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

...and Lebron James is the same age as OP.

[–]suprathepeg0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Genetics, excellent fitness, diet on lock, lots of money spent...

[–]coachdad80 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

And super hot



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