How should I introduce my father to the red pill?

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December 29, 2018

My parents have had a lot of negativity in their relationship for a long time. Always fighting. Always screaming. My dad always losing frame. They almost even got divorced a few times. From a young age, I remember it being this way.

It has now been close to a year since I found the red pill. I'm currently in my first year of college, so I'm quite young. I am now able to understand the underlying issues behind their toxic and dysfunctional marriage.

I thought it would be relevant to post here because I am planning to introduce my dad to the red pill, and more specifically, to married red pill. I am not sure how to go about doing this exactly. It scares me. I know I will be introducing him to a complete different way of looking at the world, and I'm not sure how he will react. I'd like to continue my story, and explain why I think it's time to introduce him to this place.

A few weeks ago, my parents had a huge fight. I had a talk with my dad shortly after. I gave him some nuggets of the red pill. Telling him things like "trying to have a logical debate with her won't work, she's an emotional person. Her version of reality is different from yours. You think you're doing the right thing by trying to make her understand logic but it simply doesn't work. " I told him some other things as well.

What I didn't know, until a few days later (because I was in college and not yet back for the holidays), was that my mom left out of nowhere after this fight. She went to her sibling's house and stayed there for a few days and was seriously considering ending things and living separately from my dad. Once I got home I heard about this. I talked to my dad privately again. During this talk, my dad shared some things with me. He told me that the previous talk we had, opened his eyes to a lot of things. He told me that if anything would fix the situation, it would be my words. He told me that he had not been able to sleep the last few days, thinking about the things I had told him. I asked him if he still thought it was worth it to be with my mom. He said yes because he values family, as well as some other reasons. So I helped him. Called my mom, talked to her, calmed her down, set up a time to meet, basically played middle man. At the end, I convinced my mom to come back. I didn't use a lot of logical arguments, I simply appealed to emotion. I know my mom well now so I knew what I had to say. She took the time to talk to my dad as well before coming back.

Anyways, these past two weeks have been great for my parents. My dad is behaving different. My mom seems happier. They seem to be getting along amazing. Talking a lot. However, I know this won't last. It's always like this for the first few weeks when they decide to give it another shot. I had another talk with my dad recently. He asked me a more specific question, which was "how exactly do I talk to her if it isn't by using logic?". So obviously he has a lot to learn. I told him I'd have a talk with him soon. Good thing is that he's open minded and doesn't care that a younger person (let alone his son), is teaching him things. He told me that he's learned that ignoring her works, that simply not taking her idea seriously works (when she says something illogical and crazy).

The problem goes deeper though. When I look at my dad, as much as I love him, I see a beta, a good man, but not a man who is good at being a man. He's not decisive, he loses frame all the time, he doesn't understand female nature (my mom), he doesn't know how to pass shit tests, he's passive aggressive, he never takes responsibility for anything. Always playing the victim. He doesn't lift (poor shape). He makes excuses.

My mom on the other hand, was a virgin until she met my dad (part of her religion). She's therefore never been with a man who is good at being a man (alpha). I'm sure this pisses her off on a subconscious level. Her family had a lot of say in the marriage between the two, and ever since I bet she feels like she's kind of been stuck with a beta. As a result, she acts narcissistic, controlling, probably has some sort of inferiority complex as well. She was spoiled as a kid so I'm sure that plays a role. Sometimes she does things that make no logical sense and this pisses off my dad.

They are always fighting about finances, about family, and about life in general. When I was growing up, my mom was studying. And my dad supported her. He drove her to her classes, took care of us kids, as she got home late from college. He cooked most of the time. On top of his actual work, this was a lot on his plate.

My mom graduated. She acts a little "above-people" now because of her new position in the workforce. I'm sure my dad hates that. And I'm sure he feels like my mom owes him for his sacrifice. Unfortunately, as Rollo explains, that's not how it works.

I was once in the car with my dad and I was asking him deep questions about his relationship with my mom. He started crying (tried to hide it). He told me he feels like he's been stuck for two decades now. I guess because he's always had to work and take care of us while my mom studied and works longer hours now. My mom also cried in front of me a few times because of the problems in their relationship.

The issue is that he's not acting like a "real" man. She can't take that (and would never cheat because she's religious and it goes against everything she believes in). As a result she acts like a bitch. This makes my dad angry and confused. This results in lots of fighting. I even remember during one fight in particular when she screamed at my dad "Be a man".

My dad is getting older, close to 60 now. He's out of shape, works a desk job everyday, doesn't have a social life. My mom is around 50. She's in better shape but emotionally she's a mess. Always making bad decisions. Also doesn't have a social life either.

They are doing well for the last two weeks and my dad has learned some valuable things, but I think I need to introduce him to this place. The thought of him dying without ever even knowing that the red pill exists, kills me. He seems more ready than ever. I've introduced him to Jordan Peterson, and similar people. I've had a few talks with him. He asked me a question which shows curiosity to know more. He told me he thought long and hard about what I told him. Once again, showing curiosity to know more. They say at the red pill that people need to come to this place by themselves. However, I doubt my dad even understands what a subreddit is. I think I need to introduce him to this place soon before the happy times with my parents comes crashing down like it always does, and for a deeper reason, so he learns to become more masculine, and so that he takes care of himself (lifting), and so that he knows the truth. How should I go about doing this?

Post Information
Title How should I introduce my father to the red pill?
Author CaptainPsyche
Upvotes 8
Comments 49
Date 29 December 2018 11:41 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
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[–]JacquesOffDerrida8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

After my father was interested in the few tidbits I gave him on the phone while he was bitching about his wife (not my mother), he called me and asked a little more. I asked if he would like me to email him short ebooks that help with diffusing anger and rage when women get crazy and try to fight. He said yes, so the first thing I sent him were the two free ebooks from the Nicola Method, which helps partners of high conflict women; these are not listed on MRP, but I found it through a poster here recommending the method. The Nicola Method is a goldmine, and my father was really happy with the results. Then I sent him a PDF of WISNIFG, which he was also happy with. I think he got the audiobook though. That book is dry as fuck.

When he continued showing interest I recommended MMSLP and NMMNG. The intro to MMSLP mentions Red Pill, so I decided to let him follow that on his own. I did use a few terms like “hypergamy” and “covert contracts,” and maybe a few others. Any google search of those terms would uncover these subs. My dad just turned 66, has adult daughters, and went through a nasty divorce from my mother ten years ago. I wasn’t about to send him directly to MRP. Better to find this place on one’s own.

Edit: I told him not to talk to his wife about the reading because it will backfire. Make sure your dad knows not to bring up any of this to your mom.

[–]silversum12 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just looked up Nicola method, seems legit. Thank you for posting that. One of the better things I’ve gleaned from asktrp lately.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you. I'll check out all of that.

[–]SepeanRed Beret2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

I’d just tell him you found a really good book on marriage, it’s a bit different but it seems to work, then hand him MMSLP. Don’t preach, don’t tell him he’s not a man, don’t tell him you know how he can save his marriage, just offhandedly give him the book and see how it goes from there.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Man that would be quite awkward I think. Haven't read the book, haven't even had sex yet. Me and my dad never even talked about this type of stuff (sex) so I'm not sure that book would be the best way to go about things.

[–]SepeanRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

You haven’t had sex? You’re in college and found the red pill a year ago, wtf is wrong with you? Why are you worried about fixing your dad and not yourself?

Why are you circlejerking Jordan Peterson when you could be reading something useful like the Book of Pook or the TRP top posts on game?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm working on myself. Been lifting, approaching, working on all areas of life, working on my mission. There are a couple 6s who are down to fuck but I've got higher standards than that. I'm talking with a few 8s, 9s, right now, so let's see where that goes. I stopped with Jp a long time ago. I've read the book of book. Now it's just about action. It will come. I find no harm in working on myself and helping my dad at the same time.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Give him the Mindful Attraction plan, probably the most digestible form of RP that most people can swallow until they are ready. It lays out a plan that he can build on, when he see progress.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you. I'll check it out.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ask him if he would like the early days back, before kids.

Then tell him they peace in the house is entirely up to him.

Watch a couple of entrepreneurs in cars YouTube videos together. Why ? He does a great job of connecting dots, easily digestible

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy

Thanks for asking this. My father nearly the same age just had my mother leave after nearly 40 years of marriage. He's a fat, entitled, boring, lazy narcissistic fuck who thinks everyone is out to get him. I love him though.

I'm absolutely convinced my mother left simply because he was fat and shitty for so long parading around as an alpha. He once was alpha or at least on the edge of one 20 years ago.

I think there was an anonymous post somewhere out there that you could send but maybe someone here can link it. That's what I've thought to do.

He's out of time though. Mom already moved states away and it's all finalized in about a month.

[–]lifeadept2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

probably you meant this one

also, Practical Female Psychology is a good book position to start - summarize all main MRP concepts without actually talking about red pill

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks man I'll check it out.

[–]JacquesOffDerrida0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Practical Female Psychology for the Practical Man is absolutely brutal. It is a great book, but it is brutal. I do not think it is into level material at all. I did not recommend it to my father, and I don’t think I would.

Because you did find the book useful, as did I, I’d like to ask if you can recommend any other books in the same vein. I’ve been looking around other similar material.

[–]lifeadept1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I've read PFSftPM just recently and found it, in my opinion, as the one the closest to what is learnt on this forum .. it is like reading an essence of the top forum posts in a single book. Although I need to admit that the pill is delivered quite directly in this book.

As for the recommendation - whole sidebar I guess, but the one book I can think of as being a great complement to PFSftPM (but more from male perspective) is certainly Way of the Superior Man

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy


There is a reason that nmmng is first on the sidebar.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Maybe there's still hope. He could find someone else or at least know the truth. Maybe I'm just naive though.

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I think that's my only hope for my father now. Otherwise I will see him shrivel up alone and die in a few years alone.

I would much prefer him to have a couple chicks on his arms younger than me. He has the opportunity to do so if he chooses

I wish he would have taught me about TRP or MRP even. But alas, he wasnt respectable enough in my teenage years or had the knowledge to do so. Instead he chose to watch me turn into a beta in front of him.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hey bro try not to be bitter about it. He's still your father after all. He just so happened to never know the truth for whatever reason.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

My good friend /u/redpillcoach has a lot of experience working with guys like your dad but it's not cheap. If you want cheap, show your dad the sidebar and get him nmmng and a gym membership to get him started.

Want to really help your dad? Work out with him 2-4 days a week.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine3 points4 points  (20 children) | Copy

What part of don’t talk about fight club don’t you understand faggot?


“The thought of him dying without ever even knowing that the red pill exists, kills me.”

I get it.

Put a pot of coffee on, sit him down, and read through mmslp together. Let him decide to either take the red pill or the blue pill. 60 years of being plugged in though... he may not want to see the matrix.

I want to see him start fucking some 30 year olds.

Report back.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret2 points3 points  (18 children) | Copy

60 years of being plugged in though... he may not want to see the matrix.

This is the most likely scenario. It may be too much for his ego to handle

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret4 points5 points  (9 children) | Copy

"We never free a mind once it's reached a certain age. It's dangerous, the mind has trouble letting go. I've seen it before and I'm sorry."

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

This is what scares me. Maybe it's better to not show him the truth. I don't want him to go insane or anything. But he is pretty open minded so I'm not sure that would happen.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I have a story about this, but will post later.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

When? If it's relevant to my situation I'd like to know so I don't make a mistake.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

TL,DR Don't do it.

[–]gvntr0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

For me, all the exciting change started when I got into my mid 50's and accelerated from there.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

So you don't think it would be too much to handle for my dad?

[–]framelessglasses2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

u/bluepillprofessor has many stories of blue pill to red pill awakenings ending with man suicides out.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I'll check it out thanks.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You will have to sort through about 50,000 posts.

[–]Kpwn882 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

The fact that he has shown an interest in his son's advice tells me there is hope for his dad.

Originally I was going to suggest easing him into it, but I think his dad trusts him so I suggest being straight up, telling his dad society lies to guy to make us good little worker drones and consumers, then hand him The Rational Male

OP just needs to be there for his dad when he has questions and stress to his dad to not talk about fight club with his mom.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

This is the best thing I've heard so far. I agree, yet so many people both on this sub and on the red pill have told me it's a mistake.

[–]Kpwn881 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

You know your dad better than a bunch of strangers on the internet. Just don't be autistic about it and he will be fine

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm pretty scared to talk to him about all of this because I don't know how he will react. I want to tell him, I just hope I can push myself to do it.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Do you think it's not worth the risk then?

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’m saying go in with a lot of caution and slowly. Gauge reactions carefully. This is your dad, so it can get sticky in many ways.

[–]framelessglasses0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Standard MRP, allow at least 1-2 months for recovery for every year of betadom. It is a painful process. Do you really think he has enough years left to achieve any level of red pill behaviors? Are you going to make your parents life better? Are you certain??

If you break it son, you own it.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Honestly, Probably not. But maybe knowing the truth is worth it. Or maybe by placing the truth over things like you mentioned is selfish on my part.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Like I said in another comment, I think it would be very awkward for me to hand him that book, let alone read it together with him. We have never talked about sex. I don't think this is the way to go. Also, he's still married to my mom, I very much doubt he'd start fucking 30 year olds.

[–]framelessglasses0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You could break him.

If you break him, will you take care of him and your mom for the rest of their lives? Or manage the arrangements for a demise at your (indirect) hand?

Butt the fuck out. He is the dad, not you. Try to respect his ignorance, as he respected yours growing up.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Maybe you're right.

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Telling him things like "trying to have a logical debate with her won't work, she's an emotional person. Her version of reality is different from yours. You think you're doing the right thing by trying to make her understand logic but it simply doesn't work. "

One thing about this that makes me a bit apprehensive, is the fact that you said "She...doesn't think rationally." This may make your dad think that you are picking on Mom; he will agree, now that he is troubled and pissed at her, but, when she starts loving him up again, he'll think "Well, CaptainePsyche's heart was in the right place, but, here she is, agreeing with everything that I'm saying! Obviously, he doesn't know shit. Maybe he was just mad at her!" Or something like that.

Had you said "ALL women are not rational, and they cannot be programmed to be" that would have given a better foundation. A small difference, but, I think it is fundamental.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

After saying that, I did mention something about female psychology, saying how all women are emotional and stuff like that.

[–]Poppinpilladily0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Women understand logic. Get a grip and get away from this weird ass subreddit before you become someone no one likes as some users her have become.

[–]470_2_700_nm0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Simple. Purchase MMSLP or mindful attraction plan book and find a way to give it to him anonymously. Include the message not to talk (to her) or anyone about fight club under any circumstances.

Or find a way to gift it to his mobile anonymously.

Red pilling beta season is dangerous and very often backfires.

Lead by example is my best advice.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

This is an interesting approach. Haven't thought about doing it anonymously. How would you recommend doing it exactly?

[–]470_2_700_nm0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Actually I don’t recommend red pilling anyone.

The more years invested, the more hey are apt to recoil. I lead by example. I don’t talk about it overtly to anyone.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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