My parents have had a lot of negativity in their relationship for a long time. Always fighting. Always screaming. My dad always losing frame. They almost even got divorced a few times. From a young age, I remember it being this way.
It has now been close to a year since I found the red pill. I'm currently in my first year of college, so I'm quite young. I am now able to understand the underlying issues behind their toxic and dysfunctional marriage.
I thought it would be relevant to post here because I am planning to introduce my dad to the red pill, and more specifically, to married red pill. I am not sure how to go about doing this exactly. It scares me. I know I will be introducing him to a complete different way of looking at the world, and I'm not sure how he will react. I'd like to continue my story, and explain why I think it's time to introduce him to this place.
A few weeks ago, my parents had a huge fight. I had a talk with my dad shortly after. I gave him some nuggets of the red pill. Telling him things like "trying to have a logical debate with her won't work, she's an emotional person. Her version of reality is different from yours. You think you're doing the right thing by trying to make her understand logic but it simply doesn't work. " I told him some other things as well.
What I didn't know, until a few days later (because I was in college and not yet back for the holidays), was that my mom left out of nowhere after this fight. She went to her sibling's house and stayed there for a few days and was seriously considering ending things and living separately from my dad. Once I got home I heard about this. I talked to my dad privately again. During this talk, my dad shared some things with me. He told me that the previous talk we had, opened his eyes to a lot of things. He told me that if anything would fix the situation, it would be my words. He told me that he had not been able to sleep the last few days, thinking about the things I had told him. I asked him if he still thought it was worth it to be with my mom. He said yes because he values family, as well as some other reasons. So I helped him. Called my mom, talked to her, calmed her down, set up a time to meet, basically played middle man. At the end, I convinced my mom to come back. I didn't use a lot of logical arguments, I simply appealed to emotion. I know my mom well now so I knew what I had to say. She took the time to talk to my dad as well before coming back.
Anyways, these past two weeks have been great for my parents. My dad is behaving different. My mom seems happier. They seem to be getting along amazing. Talking a lot. However, I know this won't last. It's always like this for the first few weeks when they decide to give it another shot. I had another talk with my dad recently. He asked me a more specific question, which was "how exactly do I talk to her if it isn't by using logic?". So obviously he has a lot to learn. I told him I'd have a talk with him soon. Good thing is that he's open minded and doesn't care that a younger person (let alone his son), is teaching him things. He told me that he's learned that ignoring her works, that simply not taking her idea seriously works (when she says something illogical and crazy).
The problem goes deeper though. When I look at my dad, as much as I love him, I see a beta, a good man, but not a man who is good at being a man. He's not decisive, he loses frame all the time, he doesn't understand female nature (my mom), he doesn't know how to pass shit tests, he's passive aggressive, he never takes responsibility for anything. Always playing the victim. He doesn't lift (poor shape). He makes excuses.
My mom on the other hand, was a virgin until she met my dad (part of her religion). She's therefore never been with a man who is good at being a man (alpha). I'm sure this pisses her off on a subconscious level. Her family had a lot of say in the marriage between the two, and ever since I bet she feels like she's kind of been stuck with a beta. As a result, she acts narcissistic, controlling, probably has some sort of inferiority complex as well. She was spoiled as a kid so I'm sure that plays a role. Sometimes she does things that make no logical sense and this pisses off my dad.
They are always fighting about finances, about family, and about life in general. When I was growing up, my mom was studying. And my dad supported her. He drove her to her classes, took care of us kids, as she got home late from college. He cooked most of the time. On top of his actual work, this was a lot on his plate.
My mom graduated. She acts a little "above-people" now because of her new position in the workforce. I'm sure my dad hates that. And I'm sure he feels like my mom owes him for his sacrifice. Unfortunately, as Rollo explains, that's not how it works.
I was once in the car with my dad and I was asking him deep questions about his relationship with my mom. He started crying (tried to hide it). He told me he feels like he's been stuck for two decades now. I guess because he's always had to work and take care of us while my mom studied and works longer hours now. My mom also cried in front of me a few times because of the problems in their relationship.
The issue is that he's not acting like a "real" man. She can't take that (and would never cheat because she's religious and it goes against everything she believes in). As a result she acts like a bitch. This makes my dad angry and confused. This results in lots of fighting. I even remember during one fight in particular when she screamed at my dad "Be a man".
My dad is getting older, close to 60 now. He's out of shape, works a desk job everyday, doesn't have a social life. My mom is around 50. She's in better shape but emotionally she's a mess. Always making bad decisions. Also doesn't have a social life either.
They are doing well for the last two weeks and my dad has learned some valuable things, but I think I need to introduce him to this place. The thought of him dying without ever even knowing that the red pill exists, kills me. He seems more ready than ever. I've introduced him to Jordan Peterson, and similar people. I've had a few talks with him. He asked me a question which shows curiosity to know more. He told me he thought long and hard about what I told him. Once again, showing curiosity to know more. They say at the red pill that people need to come to this place by themselves. However, I doubt my dad even understands what a subreddit is. I think I need to introduce him to this place soon before the happy times with my parents comes crashing down like it always does, and for a deeper reason, so he learns to become more masculine, and so that he takes care of himself (lifting), and so that he knows the truth. How should I go about doing this?