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Wife stopped initiating sex 4 years ago until we decided to have our first child

by Captain_Brown_Beard | December 20, 2018 | askMRP

15 upvotes

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My amazing loyal wife who is also my best friend of 2 years who is 35 and myself who is 33 decided to have our first child this year and then something crazy happened. My wife became hornier than me!

We first started dating 6 years ago and it was amazing. We were both trying to impress one another as you normally do in a fresh relationship and she was initiating sex all the time. Two years into our dating this stopped. The BJs stopped and I had to ask for sex every time and to her defense she never did say "No" without good reason , but she would just lay there like a dead fish as I did all the work(worse than no sex to me). I started to fall into depression because of it and became addicted to weed and was drinking too much on top of that (Stressful job at the time too.) I asked if I wasn't performing as well when I knew I wasnt, but she said there wasnt anything wrong and that she is just shy and awkward about sex, I was like you totally were not this way when we first started dating and of course she couldnt give a good answer to that one.. I talked to her about it a few times over the years and she never changed so I guessed that was that and gave up and just watched some VR Porn to kinda get some of that feeling back (I know stupid, but it kinda worked and full filled that lame desire to feel wanted).

We decided it was finally time to have a kid since we are getting to that age and we both want one. Thats when things got strange. She turned back into her old self and started initiating sex and giving BJs again. I came home after work and she was on the couch in sexy outfit and it really shocked me into a powerless simp mode. Two months of amazing sex and she got prego and can you guess what happened next?...Yup, the switch was turned off. I felt so betrayed to the point of evening wanting divorce and just saying screw it we can raise the kid separate, but I love this women too damn much and I know in my head and heart sex isnt everything in life, but I cant seem to turn it off.

I feel this is gonna damage us down the road because when any other women gives me attention it makes me feel that way again and I hate it.

​

​

Update: Sorry I am not very good at explaining myself on here apparently. My wife and I do have sex on the regular, she just doenst initiate ever


Post Information
Title Wife stopped initiating sex 4 years ago until we decided to have our first child
Author Captain_Brown_Beard
Upvotes 15
Comments 75
Date 20 December 2018 08:10 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/203730
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/a81wcp/wife_stopped_initiating_sex_4_years_ago_until_we/
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Comments

[–]jakethesnake500037 points38 points  (15 children) | Copy

Get addicted to lifting weights and reading the sidebar instead of booze. Seriously dude, get off your ass and do the work

[–]Captain_Brown_Beard[S] 2 points3 points  (14 children) | Copy

10-4 on that. I dropped 80lbs before on keto but have since gained 40 back due to stress and being a lazy damn stoner. I love keto too. No stomach issues and it seems to heal my body

[–]creating_my_life24 points25 points  (9 children) | Copy

have since gained 40

Take your shirt off. Stand in front of a mirror. Would you fuck you?

Neither would she. Now own your shit.

[–]SteelToeShitKickerRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I love keto too gained 40 back

How, for the love of god, does one suffer enough to lose 80 lbs and then gain back 40 for bullshit reasons?

[–]hack3geRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

No clue - I lost 210lbs total and it took me like 2 months to get the courage to bulk and then 2 more to even get close to eating the right amount of calories.

The only way I will ever gain weight again is if it’s on my terms.

[–]Frosteecat4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Quit smoking the herb man. I quit cold turkey and have felt like a fucking champion ever since. I have one drink a night, usually a straight bourbon while looking my wife right in the eye and indicating what I'm going to do to her later non verbally.

You need to watch every Steve McQueen and Clint Eastwood movie in the pantheon and get your shit dialed.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine33 points34 points  (4 children) | Copy

You’re not special faggot. She just used you as a sperm donor. And yes, it will damage your relationship. You’re a man and want pussy. She ain’t providing. Join the fucking club.

She has no interest in pleasing you, submitting to you, or rewarding you with sex because she sees you strictly as a beta provider. The sex was great in the beginning because she was auditioning for the role as wife and you fell for it. She doesn’t love you. She only loves the resources you provide ($).

Only one way to get it back. ==>

[–]Kpwn882 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

She only loves the resources you provide

This rings true for all women. The only difference is some of us have learned to provide a body and mind she gets pleasure in using sexually.

[–]Captain_Brown_Beard[S] -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Maybe, but I was a pizza boy when we started dating. Now I am in IT working for one of the top 3 software companies.

[–]wild_deer_man3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, this is why she wants a child and not devorce. Answer to yourself honestly: do you believe you will get hot (or any) sex after the child is born?

Birth disrupt sex for quite some time even if there is attraction. Imagine when there is none. You will be trapped caring for a child with a woman who will not want to touch you with a stick. Hope that IT job gives you enough life satisfaction...

Edit: Oops I didn't even bother to read to the last part about her switching off. Shocking.

[–]WolfofAllStreetz1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nailed it.

[–]downvotesanimals11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy

She doesn't fuck you for 4 years. Then you decide to impregnate her.

The fuck is wrong with you, man?

[–]Captain_Brown_Beard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I didnt explain myself well I guess. We bang on the reg, but I gotta ask everytime. She doenst initiate

[–]creating_my_life18 points19 points  (4 children) | Copy

Two years into our dating this stopped.

Nope. Two years into your dating you accepted and allowed this to happen.

Now it's going to be a hell of a lot harder to get what you want out of life.

, but I love this women too damn much

She knows. That's why she doesn't need to try.

You can't negotiate attraction. She's not attracted to you and not afraid of losing you. You're a beta bucks, nothing more than security and wallet to her. You're certainly not her lover.

[–]Captain_Brown_Beard[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I can agree with most of what you are saying as I thought the same myself before honestly. Its like if you are open with women and they know they got ya its over for you. You dont have to believe me, but I know she loves me. I just think shes not sexually attracted to me anymore and it could be because I was lacked damn self respect.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

I know she loves me

Dude... Are you some kind of mind reader? Everything you've written her suggests that she doesn't love you, she doesn't respect you and the only reason she's with you right now is because you are willing to impregnate her, a 35 year old woman.

This is why we call it The Red Pill. You choose if you want to take it or not, but if you do it's gonna hurt.

You can also go on the sub exredpill, talk about your experience here and get all the validation you want.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Women have a dual mating strategy...

It’s how she landed her submissive beta bucks provider.....you.

Her love is completely conditional.

Yeah she loves you (right now), until the next time she wants something pretty and shiney with diamonds & then the bitch will come back out. Until the next time she wants that expensive kitchen upgrade, then she’ll shame you. Until the next time she wants kid #2 to have a sibling to play with, the harpy sexless cunt will come out again to point out everyone of your shortcomings and crush your pathetic soul.

She’s got you trained.

Like how make-believe God threatens to send you to HELL to rot for eternity if you don’t give him at least 10% of your gross pretax income and follow his constant never-ending request and demand to worship him and drink his blood...

but...... he loves you ❤️

Dance, monkey.. dance

[–]Kpwn880 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I know she loves me

Avaunt, you fairy!

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ugh. What makes this so sickening to read is I would have written something like this three months ago. God I know I have a lot of fucking work to do but at least I’m not this guy. I originally thought troll but looking back this is the massive taking it up the ass faggot I was. Lots of work to do, but when my wife says she’s mad me and I say “is it because I want to fuck you in the ass” I actually get a grin and called a sick fuck. Ah how much more fun life can be when you start not caring.

Edited: can’t type for shit on the phone.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red15 points16 points  (8 children) | Copy

Kids not yours.

[–]JameisBong6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

I agree, she forced him into sex to make sure the timeline matches up. Chad fucked her raw, she ran straight home into her beta provider cuck husband.

[–]mountainbiker1782 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

He better find out!

[–]ZeeyardSA2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

He ignored the point, no response!

[–]fuckmrpRed Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

+1 for the paternity test

I've had several plates say shit like; "My husband is my best friend but bla bla reasons why I'm fucking you..." Now, whenever I hear a dude say this shit I immediately think, who's she fucking?

[–]Kpwn881 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Kids not yours.

My thoughts exactly. Of course when it comes out looking nothing like him he will ignore the obvious, just like he has for nearly half a decade.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The obligatory scene:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=de-ZnJsouho

[–]Captain_Brown_Beard[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I couldnt get that lucky lol

[–]suprathepeg1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hah.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (9 children) | Copy

My amazing loyal wife

Who doesn't fuck you except when she's at the end of her fertility window and you graciously offer her your seeds

My best friend

My best friend would want me to have a fulfilled and happy sexual life. My worst enemy would want me to feel used only for my sperm and cope with weed, booze and VR porn the rest of the time.

She's just shy and awkward with sex, I was like you were not this way when we started dating

And then she saw the error of her ways and, absolutely stunned by your implacable logic, dropped down to her knees and said 'fuck my mouth daddy'. Oh wait no, she just started being even less attracted to you because you tried negociating desire. Sidebar ->

There's no way around it: you fucked up by impregnating her. What you need to do now is pick up the book Married Man Sex Life Primer and do what it says in there. Whatever happens when you're done implementing the lessons in that book, be a good father to that kid.

[–]Kpwn880 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Who doesn't fuck you except when she's at the end of her fertility window and you graciously offer her your seeds got knocked up by Chad and needs to trick her beta bucks into thinking it's his.

Fify

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Oooohhhh.... Didn't think of that one! The plot thickens

[–]Captain_Brown_Beard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Shit I wish thats how it went down sometimes lol

[–]Kpwn884 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I just read through all the comments on this thread and I have to say. You are one lucky motherfucker to have strangers on the internet that give a shit enough to share all this advice. You really should take it all to heart. I mean all of it.

Get a paternity test.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Every woman turns into a sex addict when they want to have a child...

My wife didnt initiate until I was 8+ months into MRP. Not 8+ months of reading the forum but 8+ months of real lifting, frame development, and on round 2 of reading ALL the sidebar books. 8+ months of BECOMING it...

Now my wife is initiating often.. something that did not happen for multiple years prior to this.

​

Also, talk less.. Dont ask your wife "why did this stop, you used to do it" etc... etc.... Just shut up and go lift weights. Channel your frustrations into lifting something physical. She will never be able to explain why she isnt sexually turned on by you at the moment. "You cannot negotiate desire" is something you will read here alot.. Its true.. stop trying to talk to her about it or discover some truths with words... I've seen my wife (or previous girlfriends) try to set two people up on a date... When it doesnt work its always the same thing "Why dont you like him/her" followed by list of reasons WHY that person should be liked.... In the end, it never changes their desire to be with that person... its the same with sex. Talking about BJ's and giving her any reasons will not change her desire to give you one.... You might get a duty blowjob which doesnt really do much anyway

[–]Bedtimeshine8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

Any man who thinks thier SO’s change in sex drive/performance is anything other than lack of attraction is a fool. Any man who just chugs along and stays with her and further commits to her by getting her pregnant is a schmuck.

[–]chumjetze0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This 100%

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Get a gym pass and read the rationale male. That book will explain why she is the way she is. Sidebar, lift.

[–]Maximus_Valerius3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

I know in my head and heart sex isnt everything in life, but I cant seem to turn it off.

This is cognitive dissonance.

You believe that you should have a satisfying sex life with your amazing loyal wife and best friend, but your head and heart tell you that sex shouldn't be everything. This internal conflict of contradictory beliefs create discomfort, which leads to thoughts of "wanting divorce and just saying screw it . . ." so that you can escape the discomfort.

Lift and read the sidebar to learn how to resolve this conflict.

[–]ice_walkerHead Negotiator0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I talked to a female priest about precisely this. Conversation went like:

Me:”...but then I feel like... am I wanting too much? From life, or my marriage..” Priestess: “If you are really honest with yourself, do you think you want too much?” Me: “No. Not really.” Priestess: “Well there’s your answer then.”

[–]TheThirdT1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Start reading the sidebar. Good luck.

[–]weakandsensitive3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

The fact that you had 80 pounds to lose speaks volumes.

The way you write like a helpless bitch isn't surprising.

[–]FoxShitNasty831 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Welcome to the party pal, don't do this because you want sex, been there done that doesn't work. MRP is a full on hard mode pill to improve and fix you "the man". Side effects include getting more sex as you improve (for yourself) lift STFU and side bar till your eyes bleed then same again the next day.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

MRP cured my depression and anxiety after 18 years. No joke. This is life changing but you have to want to change and it’s probably the hardest thing you’ll do. And it never fucking ends. But it’ll be worth it because you’ll feel free. Like you’ve never felt before.

[–]hack3geRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Biggest life changing lesson....the fucking word NO

[–]Captain_Brown_Beard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

lol Damn truth right there man. I just learned what Frame was like 15m ago

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

A good book that's not in the sidebar that I think would be good for you is called extreme ownership a former navy seal wrote it and it cuts through a whole lotta bullshit it basically boils down to own the situation no matter what.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

How the EF do I read the sidebar on these things? I’m on my phone...

[–]Frosteecat0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Go up to the right corner ellipses "..." and click on Community Info.

[–]Frosteecat0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You are in full marionette mode here man. VR porn while taking bong hits and shotgunning beers?!? C'mon bro. You are her beta fukboi.

As many here are going to say: lift, sidebar, OI, frame etc etc. And now you have to be Daddy, which I can tell you from doing it, aint leaving a lot of energy for kino and gaming. Get on top of this shit...like yesterday. Good luck.

[–]RedPillCoach0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Two months of amazing sex and she got prego and can you guess what happened next?

Holds ups hand! I know! I know!

I feel this is gonna damage us down the road because when any other women gives me attention it makes me feel that way again and I hate it.

When you feel desired you "hate it?" That is weird.

Maybe the way you feel has something to do with your wife and not the woman giving you the attention.

[–]ex_addict_broRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

My amazing loyal wife who is also my best friend of 2 years who is 35 and myself who is 33 decided to have our first child this year

/me pukes

[–]BluBlac590 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Wives make lousy best friends. You are not a mystery to her that she wants to solve. You've given her to much information and control. Get some male interests liftiing, motorcycle riding, hunting, fishing, cars something to be around men and leave her home. Put a little distance between you and her. Get a new best friend. Your wife is the greatest souce of conflict in your life. Would a best friend do that ? No, because you can get rid of them.

[–]SKRedPill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Business sex. Zero natural attraction. Start improving SMV.

Sorry buddy, but sex is the reactive product of attraction. Think teenage for a second. That was when it was unconditioned. That's how it always is.

[–]meivanlee0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Russel brand doesn’t lift weights .. yet he gets more sex then most of us..

Biggie smalls was fat as fuck .. yet he too got more pussy then most of us.

The fact that you think it’s all about someone’s weight is telling.

[–]0io-Tsundere0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

If you want to get off the booze (which you should), check out Allen Carr's books The Easy Way To Control Alcohol, etc. Works like a charm. No programs to join or anything. It will make getting fit much easier for you.

[–]Captain_Brown_Beard[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Ive been working on it. I can go 2 weeks without a drink, but no more.

[–]suprathepeg1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your drinking and weed is probably the coping mechanism you’re using to compensate for the lies you’ve been telling yourself about how great she is while you imagine blowing your load on the computer screen.

Start with the sidebar. Build up from there. Married Man Sex Life is a good start but I’d say No More Mr Nice Guy is a better place. Just remember this journey is about you, not your marriage, not your kids and not your wife.

[–]Frosteecat0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Another buried lead.

[–]red88lobster-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

Hay welcome to the place that'll save your marriage.

-Here are a bunch of books that you may find of interest. Sex god method etc Read them before you go Rambo .

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1NT6e8aFAqU-d48FqJhU1lDZ7Pg2UThSu/view?usp=drivesdk

[–]suprathepeg2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Correct the above to here’s some shit that can HELP you save yourself.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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