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On the topic of blowjobs

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December 19, 2018
13 upvotes

I’ll cut the shit: 198# 16%bf, 5x5 225 BP, 275Sq, 295DL. DL 5. Busy life outside the home. Married 18 years, swallowed pill 1 year ago. Sex went from 2-3 times per month to 3-4 times per week, 80% success when I initiate. Blowjobs not so much.

I always had a suspicion she doesn’t like doing it (watch any she does not what she says). Beta years had me asking her if to be honest only to get a “I like em”.... reality told a different story and I kept clinging to “oh there’s hope”. Fuck those days

Since the pill I shove it in her face, tell her to suck it, etc but only during sex. Never had a bj to completion and it’s only foreplay a few mins for her but whatever.

Couple of nights ago she’s bored and I tell her “so get unbored and give me a blowjob” with a smirk. She starts saying no, I don’t like doing this as a “main course” and goes on about some food analogy shit. I AA and say “I know.. you’re afraid you’re gonna like it!” She laughs is off with a pale smile “Nooo!”

She then goes about how this act doesn’t come naturally to her, blah blah.... tells me I need to be happy and if it means finding someone else to make me happy I should just go ahead, but we’ll have to divorce as she can’t accept another woman in my life. I stfu thinking “I’m not waiting for your approval, I’ll do whatever I please”.

Asked me next day if I wanted to talk about it. “Not really, there’s nothing to talk about babe. You don’t like sucking my dick”. She leaves and comes back after an hour as if nothing happened, kino up the yin yang.

I won’t lie, I’m disappointed I’ll never have a full bj from her, not the way it sounds anyway. But I’m now not interested in fucking her either, at least not for a while. I know it goes against reaard good behaviour (her initiating) but I can’t bring myself to do it. Is there any possible way I maintain frame and not come across as butt hurt? She initiated earlier tonight as I was heading to the gym, “not now babe, maybe when I’m back!” Kiss/ass slap. Left her giggly, but I know what she’s up to... sex and make him forget what he asked.

It’s my choice to remain faithful despite plates waiting on a drop of hat who would eagerly suck me off. Abundance is there but not without leaving her (again my values, my choice).

Any suggestions?


Post Information
Title On the topic of blowjobs
Author heavensbug
Upvotes 13
Comments 41
Date 19 December 2018 02:49 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/203732
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/a7ia6j/on_the_topic_of_blowjobs/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
betaabundanceframekinoplate
Comments

[–]InChargeManRed Beret24 points25 points  (3 children) | Copy

Just so we're abundantly clear, if Brad Pitt (insert hot guy of the month) were to suddenly appear in bed with her, she would suck him dry like it was the elixir of life. She would also do every other goddamn thing you keep wishing she would do for you.

Now that we have established the ground truth (the problem is you) you can work on the solution.

The first thing to do is figure out if getting BJs is a want or need. If it is a want, you need to follow the paint by numbers established here. From the sounds of it you mostly need to develop OI and step up dread.

If it is a need not a want you need to make this clear to her, give her the tools and adequate guidance to get where she needs to be, and if she can't be the girl you need then it is NEXT with no hard feelings. The key to this would be that you are first honest with yourself. MOST guys are not in this category, in that they won't "give up" an otherwise good relationship for lack of BJ. I am not one of those guys, but my guess is you are not in the category based on the Oneitis you have hinted towards.

By the way, your chick seems to be more RP aware than you:

tells me I need to be happy and if it means finding someone else to make me happy I should just go ahead, but we’ll have to divorce as she can’t accept another woman in my life.

She leaves and comes back after an hour as if nothing happened

She OI'd the shit out of you. My guess is that her perceived SMV of herself is higher than her perceived SMV of you. Fix you to fix her. Dread game, use it.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

Doesnt even have to be Brad Pitt.

Never, ever in my life not had a woman love sucking my dick.

Never even had one of them spit either.

Its all about the man.

PS: fat chicks suck mean dick.

[–]gettingmymojobackRed Beret5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Gotta agree. Fat chicks absolutely are consistently the best cock suckers.

Followed up closely by chicks with daddy issues, and plain Janes on the crazy train.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

PS: fat chicks suck mean dick.

I'll have to take your word for it.

[–]helaughsinhidden16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

it doesn't come naturally to her

For what itis worth.....This sounds familiar, I once said something critical of my wife when she gave me head and she became self conscious.... for years. It wasn't until this year, red pill partly to credit, that she turned the corner. A lot of it had to do with my actions during the act. She felt like I was judging her performance more than enjoying it so I started breathing hard, making lots of noises, coaching her by telling her to spit on it, make it fucking wet, slow down, don't stop (20x) and for the FIRST TIME she let me nut in her mouth. It made her fucking wet too! She had to admit she liked it when I was like that.

[–]red88lobster11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

My wife went from being proud of her ability at the bj ; to : "I don't like you shoving it in my face" And my personal favorite; "It hurts my mouth because you're too big"

Which as flattering as that is I'm still left with a dry dick :/

So anyway I realised it was my fault..

I was taking too long to nut in her mouth and just watching her do it.. it became a ...job for her rather than fun and sexy.

I'm trying to slowly reintroduce the bj into our bedroom. (Don't talk about it with her ffs)

Today I got her all horny. Threw her on bed . Put my cock in front of her and did a funny little strip tease .

She laughed and said "boooong" as it sprang out. I told her to lick it and she did but than lay down and opened her legs.

I teased her with it and put it in a little bit while talking a bunch of filth ,

When she couldn't take it anymore and said "fuck me" I pulled it out and told her to lick it. She did and giggled when I said good girl. I told her she had to wrap her lips around the head if she wanted me to fuck her . She did and I rewarded her buy fucking her while continuing the filthy talk.

Anyway I point is you need to make it fun and sexy and reward her and take baby steps.

Hope this helps you as life is definitely too short to live without wife blowjobs.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Stfu. Too much talking. Sound like a whining faggot bitch trying to negotiate attraction.

She’s now fucking you 4 times a week, she’ll get there with the BJs. More work. She’ll want to please you if you’re high enough value. Perhaps she still sees you as Beta from all those needy years.

How’s the dread?

Does she know about your 2 groupies?

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red14 points15 points  (2 children) | Copy

Answer a few basics:

Do you manscape?

Shave your balls?

Are you clean down there?

Wipe with baby wipes?

Assuming you are not sasquatch below the belt:

Do you perform oral on her?

What is the quality of sex life?

Starfish missionary?

Pull her hair?

Odds are, that she still sees you as a fag and might never enjoying sucking you dick.

Which sucks BTW.

Good oral is, well great.

I taught my GF how to gag on my dick. How to get face fucked. How to hang her head off the bed and train her gag reflex so her throat bulges as I slide it down.

She never did that shit with anyone other than me.

YMMV.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret13 points14 points  (2 children) | Copy

Anyone can see this is about her lack of submission to you, not the bj.

And she drew a clear boundary when she told you to leave to be happy. I'm guessing you are not ready to cross that boundary, so you are kind of fucked.

Checkmate.

[–]hack3geRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

They are just words not a boundary. I got the same shit from my wife - I won’t ever do that if you want it won’t be from me. Took me all of two weeks and some immersion during ovulation to get past it. It was a shit test....

[–]robertwservice19741 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Same thing happened to me. I was joking around about blowjobs (not negotiating mind you). She says, “I will never give you a BJ in a hundred years.” I said, “We’ll see.” Next day, she got after it. I shouldn’t have been surprised.

Gotta remember to complete every sentence with “right now.” Five minutes later (or in my case 24 hours later), she might change her mind.

[–]man_in_the_worldRed Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Is there any possible way I maintain frame and not come across as butt hurt?

Yes, develop congruent frame and stop being a butthurt faggot.

Either

  • fully accept the consequences of your "choice to remain faithful" without butthurt passive-aggressive rejection of your wife, or

  • get what you want elsewhere.

Whichever you choose, be congruent with your own choice.

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Before my wife, I was redpill adjacent. I kind of knew there was some premise to it, but I hadn't fully articulated it.

I was dating a girl who I maybe thought I would wife up. She hated blow jobs and gave horrible head. Early on we had a great sex life, and with a little bit of training, she got better.

Fast forward a couple of years and she's shown her true crazy ass. I break up with her for a multitude of reasons. She had to move back to her home state and we lost touch for a while. I dedicated myself to the gym and cut down the relationship fat. I started slutting around and nailing some strange.

I go back to her home state and stupidly ring her up. She'd been emailing and calling, and I finally gave in and figured what the fuck. Later that night we end up in some serious post break up sex and she's trying all she can to get me back. Yammering on about how I got "all hot" and was probably sleeping with every slut around me.

Don't you know she now knew how to suck dick like a fucking crack whore looking for her next hit? Sloppy gagging, looking up and asking "Is this what they do for you?" All I could think the whole time was, "Where the fuck was this when we were together?"

She then goes about how this act doesn’t come naturally to her for you, blah blah

FTFY.

Dread is a powerful thing. She will suck the right man's dick. Ask yourself why are you not the right man at the moment?

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

I won’t lie, I’m disappointed I’ll never have a full bj from her, not the way it sounds anyway.

Not with a mindset like that pal.

But I’m now not interested in fucking her either

So what are you going to do jack off in the shower? I'm confused.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

jack off in the shower

overrated place to jack off

[–]Kpwn881 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Not overrated for nice guys that need to hide it from their wives.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

i was thinking of lubrication

my shower is a glass box, but i see your point

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

there’s nothing to talk about babe. You don’t like sucking my dick”. She leaves and comes back after an hour as if nothing happened, kino up the yin yang.

You should have left out the last sentence... totally passive aggressive. You confirmed to her you’re still her beta.

Quit negotiating sex

Do you see where you are fucking up?

[–]screechhaterRed Beret3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

Quit fapping all the time and do not bring up bj’s.

Part of the problem with a lot of you is talking way too much which also puts the blame self concious hamster in motion.

Clean yourself up. Be attractive in every manner. Game, kino and by all means be busy with daily resets.

Put it in her mouth for her and then tell her how sexy she is. Tell her how great it feels.

Sidebar and posts. Most of all do not talk about it.

It goes from back to showing her what you want. Then tell her how great she is at it. Then eventually it gets back on the table do to how valuable you are becoming.

[–]pridebrah0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

daily resets

Not familiar with this one. What do you mean?

[–]screechhaterRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

No matter how bad a fight is or words said, actions infuriating, rejections hurting your ego or pride- the next day be the stellar, non passive aggressive, swole dude that nothing effects.

“Reset” your vision to be happy, non controlling, fun, unpredictable daily. No matter how cunty the night, day or afternoon before, don’t let anything effect your demeanor

Visualize your “break” others influences to bring you down especially a harpy, cunty or otherwise AWALT behavior to control your outcome in “your life”

It takes serious discipline to build the habits to be happy, and unaffected by others. Especially, in this materialistic advertinsing driven culture

[–]pridebrah0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Got it, appreciate the explanation.

It takes serious discipline to build the habits to be happy, and unaffected by others. Especially, in this materialistic advertinsing driven culture

By far the hardest thing for me to do. Always working on this and I've only known 1 man that was able to do this in my life and he passed away (grandfather).

[–]hack3geRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm running into the same issue you are. BJs are on the menu during sex but if she cant because of shark week or because I just want one then its a no go.

I've determined - like most of the vets are saying - that using words is the problem. I ran into this in the past with other things like wanting to fuck her outside of the bedroom or even BJs as foreplay. The more you talk about it the more it FEELZ forced and stirs up some latent ASD shit. I used to get the same BS about BJs during sex if I asked but then I just started putting my dick in her face and teasing her that she wasn't going to get fucked if she didn't suck it then it just became a non issue - my guess is you did something similar. The most obvious answer for BJs being OK during sex is the immersion where she just isn't thinking about it and just being in the moment. One other thing that worked is I stopped talking about fucking her outside the bedroom and then sure enough a month later when shes ovulating she initiates in the kitchen one night so you could try that approach by not making such a big deal of it.

She can clearly read that you are butt hurt about it hence mentioning it the next day and we all know how that story goes - try to kill that and use actions.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

So you’re in a much better position as me but I’ll tell you my plan. So I was a dumb ass, poor vetting, beta, didn’t ask or push for anything for fear of rejection/scaring her off. Sex has always been vanilla... some different positions but never oral for me once for her. Let me say that again... she’s never given me a BJ. Yeah I fucked up. Her reasons are it’s something sluts do and is degrading. I continue to AA this but also give her the knowledge that i would not think less of her for being more sexual.

So starting MRP two months ago I realized that 1) I need to express my wants preferably non verbally 2) I need to get my attractiveness up 3) this is a process - I’m not going to go from 0 BJs in 18 years to BJs on demand but I can slowly push her boundaries and lead her to it.

I have decided this is a non negotiable but since I have myself to blame in all this the plan is to give it time, run the MAP, get dread up and reassess where things are at the start of 2020.

What I can say is that things I’ve wanted to try in the bedroom have happened (fantasies, rough sex, sex in new places) so I see the potential there. Just need to get myself into a place where she wants to please me even more.

Edited for spelling.

[–]Cam_Winston212 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Her reasons are it’s something sluts do and is degrading.

She's supposed to be your slut.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yep. I’ve emphasized this with AA a lot. She has lots of ASD going on.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

“Not really, there’s nothing to talk about babe. You don’t like sucking my dick”

- I've been there before and still struggle with this sometimes... you are still talking to much. I have the same urge to say "you just dont like XXXX" but these little passive-aggressive jabs will do nothing to spur her desire to blow you (or do anything else for that matter.) Try to kill the urge to default to these comments and work your hardest to remove it as an option at all. If you've read all the sidebar you still have internal work to do before becoming what the sidebar teaches. Its a slow process no doubt (almost slower than muscle growth) but you will get there IF you keep improving.

Your wife is throwing up a challenge... (telling you to get your BJ's somewhere else) - unfortunately she also knows you wont take it or thinks your incapable of fulfilling it. Another sign that you have more work to do. After 11 months my wife now has dreams that i left her for someone else and she wakes up to punch me. A few times coming home from the gym she has questioned if i even went to the gym.... The dread is working but took 9~ months to get there.

[–]BluBlac591 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I got tired of my wife and left her. She gave good bjs but rarely. I stated dating and told some friends knowing it would get around. We had small children at the time. It got ugly cops, order of protection started to go to family court. My lawyer told me that my child support would be $3000 a month. She had the world hating me. I then told her I'm not interested in saving the marriage or ever seeing the kids. She went reeling and fell off her high horse. I meant it. Christmas was coming and she began to soften and we got back together. I banged her really, really well and didn't finish I,just rolled over and she gave me a great bj and still does. That was over 10 years ago. She dresses to my taste and is one of the best looking women that I know. Trips to nude beaches and good sex. I'm not bragging but I wasn't a young man when I married her I had been around and decided that no woman was worth the shit I was dealing with. Set your mind to improve your life and watch how it improves. I don't fear being single, I prefer it but it's been good for over 10 years and I do pretty much what I want, she's attractive and great in bed. Don't be afraid, as they say, just do it.

[–]ozfish834 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Life is too short not to get sucked off to completion regularly.

Time to hit up those plates.

[–]mrpthrowa0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Quite talking about it dude.

[–]Two_kids_in_a_coat0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Have you read “the sex god method”? It teaches you how to teach her how to suck dick. How do you react when she’s working on you? How do you reward and encourage her?

[–]470_2_700_nm0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

12% body fat with your continues lifts Get there. Let’s talk then.

Mkay?

[–]turbospeedsc0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

When first met my wife i got awesome blowjobs titjobs whatever i could think of, after she got pregnant i went into beta mode, quality of sex afterwards went down a lot, i still fucked, 3-4 times a week but quality of sex was going downhill, finally i started going to the gym and lifting, after 6 weeks quality of sex skyrocketed, and went from duty blowjobs, to DP, after the 8th week she started rimming me and getting horny about it, go lift get some discipline in your life and things will change, once you're able to get a BJ from the cute 23yo from work, it will be a walk in the park to get one from your wife. Sidenote: I also changed some sex habits, do her less oral sex i only do it as a reward when she behaves like a good girl.

BTW after 6 months lifting wife has been toying with cuckquean ideas, two of the friends started flirting with me wife is hornier for days after they visit us, and asks me if i want another pussy during sex.

LIFT and STFU

[–]pridebrah0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

BTW after 6 months lifting wife has been toying with cuckquean ideas, two of the friends started flirting with me wife is hornier for days after they visit us, and asks me if i want another pussy during sex.

The level I'm currently striving for. Props my man, thats the life right there. Envious!

[–]RedPillCoach0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Is there any possible way I maintain frame and not come across as butt hurt?

If you don't initiate or respond to her initiations she will intepret it as butthurt.

If you do respond to he initiations she will interpret it as butthurt.

It is the No Win Scenario- the Kybyoshi Meru! What Oh What could you possibly do?

In the video I address your question but my role is not to provide answers. All I can do is show you historically and in works of fiction how great men have dealt with the No Win Scenario.

Answer? They cheat. They change the rules. They don't give a fuck! They refuse to play by the rules of the game. When Alexander the Great encountered the Gordian Knott he hacked the knot in half with his sword. He didn't bother untying it.

[–]meivanlee0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Just say “ fuck all that “ when she starts explaining whatever nonsense she is explaining and follow up with .. “it’s not for u it’s for me “ I’d follow up with a mischievous smile wag my dick in her face and say “treat me baby”.. if she say b.s. again I’d look at her like she is wak and just missed out on making me happy and go do something that does make me happy ..

Just sharing what I’d do .. from someone who has gotten bjs to completion from like 95% of every girl I ever messed with ..

[–]meivanlee0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Or tell her u wanna record it.. with a mischievous smile .. and whip out ur dick and ur phone.. .. just have fun with it all. Like if she do great if she don’t she just party pooped a dope moment for her to shine .. either way don’t let her stepping up in the moment of falling effect U and how u go about ur next moment .. if she wak don’t let her wakness bring u down..

She will eventually realize she need to step her game up or risk being left behind.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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