I’ll cut the shit: 198# 16%bf, 5x5 225 BP, 275Sq, 295DL. DL 5. Busy life outside the home. Married 18 years, swallowed pill 1 year ago. Sex went from 2-3 times per month to 3-4 times per week, 80% success when I initiate. Blowjobs not so much.
I always had a suspicion she doesn’t like doing it (watch any she does not what she says). Beta years had me asking her if to be honest only to get a “I like em”.... reality told a different story and I kept clinging to “oh there’s hope”. Fuck those days
Since the pill I shove it in her face, tell her to suck it, etc but only during sex. Never had a bj to completion and it’s only foreplay a few mins for her but whatever.
Couple of nights ago she’s bored and I tell her “so get unbored and give me a blowjob” with a smirk. She starts saying no, I don’t like doing this as a “main course” and goes on about some food analogy shit. I AA and say “I know.. you’re afraid you’re gonna like it!” She laughs is off with a pale smile “Nooo!”
She then goes about how this act doesn’t come naturally to her, blah blah.... tells me I need to be happy and if it means finding someone else to make me happy I should just go ahead, but we’ll have to divorce as she can’t accept another woman in my life. I stfu thinking “I’m not waiting for your approval, I’ll do whatever I please”.
Asked me next day if I wanted to talk about it. “Not really, there’s nothing to talk about babe. You don’t like sucking my dick”. She leaves and comes back after an hour as if nothing happened, kino up the yin yang.
I won’t lie, I’m disappointed I’ll never have a full bj from her, not the way it sounds anyway. But I’m now not interested in fucking her either, at least not for a while. I know it goes against reaard good behaviour (her initiating) but I can’t bring myself to do it. Is there any possible way I maintain frame and not come across as butt hurt? She initiated earlier tonight as I was heading to the gym, “not now babe, maybe when I’m back!” Kiss/ass slap. Left her giggly, but I know what she’s up to... sex and make him forget what he asked.
It’s my choice to remain faithful despite plates waiting on a drop of hat who would eagerly suck me off. Abundance is there but not without leaving her (again my values, my choice).