New to MRP. Already getting enough sex--not sure where to focus to help other issues

DownVoteForDickPic · 2018-12-19T03:11:58+00:00

Welcome.

You haven’t said how old your wife is. That may come into play here. You’re fairly old to be undergoing a major mind shift like RP. That’s rare. While there are many who awaken at 50+, there are very few that make actual life changes above age 30. Your wife may be one of those who awaken but will not make changes.

One of the first tenets here is to save the man not the marriage. I’d suggest proceeding your current trajectory for at least a year before looking back to see if your wife is still with you. Dread is real, but your mileage may vary. For some of us our wives notice our slow but obvious self improvement and decide to commit further to their husbands. Still others don’t notice the changes until it snaps hard. We often talk about 1,000 mile chain that snaps suddenly and then our wives understand that this is their last chance to keep their awesome husband. For some it’s too late. Again priority is saving the man not the marriage.

I too came here not because of lack of sex, but because I was cowing down to my wife. feelings instead of my vision. So feel free to take what is applicable here and leave the rest.

When I Say No I Feel Guilty is probably good for you right now.

[deleted] · 2018-12-19T09:08:14+00:00

I went through something similar 8 or 9 years ago with my wife. Things were a bit rocky for a while but good now. A couple of thoughts...

first don’t try to change her mind. To rephrase one of the common MRP ideas, judge her by her actions not her beliefs.

Stay away from anti-religious books, blogs, people. IE the Richard Dawkins, Sam Harris types. Sure religious thinking has same bad drawbacks, but focus on the positives. Especially the positives in your wife. I’m guessing she’s pretty submissive, it gives her hope and purpose. Let her have those things.

After a while talking about and thinking about your unbelief will become uninteresting. Just another thing you aren’t into, like country music, Dungeons and Dragons, and soccer (or whatever hobbies you don’t have). At that point it becomes much easier.

There’s a saying I can’t find the direct quote, “I may not look forward to an afterlife, but I do look forward to a pleasant lunch”. Don’t look toward changing your wife’s mind, just enjoy your marriage.

Frosteecat · 2018-12-19T03:43:53+00:00

Similar late life/marriage epiphanies here, but not around religion. More intellectual boredom/differences and a strange reversal of communication styles. Mine just simply doesn’t talk and cannot seem to express the most basic emotions without anxiety.

Some would say my situation is ideal but inward focus has revealed there is an upper limit to any real connection long term.

Short/mid term I’m just “doing me” and putting irreversible decisions on the back burner. I’m determined not to nuke the relationship until I have a firmer grasp on fitness and long range goals for myself. I am close to the empty nest and am willing to ride out a year or two for household stability. Seems like you have some good things going for yourself, but I don’t see her changing such a core value set, regardless of your path.

If you get to a space where you can see being happy in a new reality, and you’ve done the WORK to get there, transition to an utterly different life may not just be possible, but necessary. I sense a major schism of some kind lurking on your horizon. You ready?

BobbyPeru · 2018-12-19T03:53:25+00:00

What is your question?

hack3ge · 2018-12-19T13:17:57+00:00

Probably not....

Only way to find out is to lift, sidebar and STFU - you are not special.

UEMcGill · 2018-12-19T15:15:23+00:00

Joe Rogan is 51 years old and about 185lbs. He's a fucking gorilla.

If you want to get your T up, you need get your muscle mass up. Strangers don't guess your age at 42, they're just being nice.

You're a skinny fuck. Hit the gym.

Redpillbrigade17 · 2018-12-19T19:35:12+00:00

Stop trying to change her. If you want some deeper connection with her you may find it by embracing some of her conservative religious tenets. Not as your beliefs of course but as knowledge and practice. Read to her emphatically some paragraph from the Bible. Be a wolf in sheep clothes. And hey you may even learn something. Get a nugget of wisdom here and there. Lots of priests and preachers are atheists or agnostic. But the drug of leading the flock on this earth is oh oh so wonderful -and irresistible. She needs you to be a cult leader. The cult of the two of you/ the marriage and union that you have.

Don’t be an open book. Be practical and pragmatic. No one cares what you believe. She doesn’t ultimately. She cares about social proof, hypergamy, tingles, reality etc. and being with a high value man.

You want to be some meditating spiritual yogi and she wants to be fucked hard by a dominating man. A crusader, not a Buddhist monk. You must reconcile these visions.

Good luck.

captainbourbon50 · 2018-12-19T22:04:39+00:00

Another older guy (55) checking in. Though fairly new to RP I discovered for similar reasons: sex was not an issue but my wifes moods and emotions were all over the place and we had a few main event issues including mistrust and disrespect. Of course I now recognized that I was a drunk captain and have started working on myself. If you focus on that, i.e. becoming a better man, a better leader and not on her it will help. At our age old habits are hard to break and I have had a few slipbacks. But I have seen results that make it worthwhile. I have been through one divorce rape and not doing that again. One other thing, I am your size as well, good muscle definition. A lot of guys on here will call you puny but I get a shit ton of attention from women a lot younger. There's always room for better fitness and more muscle, but almost all the men I know my age are fat and dress like old men. Pay a little attention to fashion and grooming and you get a shit ton of attention and be way ahead. Once you focus more on yourself it sounds like you need to make a decision whether you stay or go. The mantra here is that the stay plan is the same as the go plan. IM me if you want to chat more, am still learning and owning my shit.

rocknrollchuck · 2018-12-21T19:28:34+00:00

You've gotten some great advice on your situation here. It's obvious to me that your wife's faith is a significant factor here.

It might be helpful to at least examine the religion/faith/Bible thing from an objective point of view by getting feedback from a Christian perspective - it might give you some additional insight. If you feel it would, consider posting this over at r/RPChristians.

friendandadvisor · 2018-12-29T12:19:12+00:00

Holy shit! You fooled your wife into thinking that you were a conservative Christian for 33 years, then one day say "Oh, btw, I was lying about my eternal soul all of our years together. Can you stop being such a bitch?"

MrChad_Thundercock · 2018-12-19T13:06:00+00:00

You might be better by staying plugged in.

[deleted] · 2018-12-19T11:20:30+00:00

Don't even bother to try to change her religious views or even worry about her views. BP thinking to believe everybody has to be he same in thoughts about religion to be happy.

virtualfan · 2018-12-19T20:18:59+00:00

Wow. Excellent feedback and recommendations. My key takeaways are to keep working on myself, lift, read more books, and not worry as much about what she thinks. No drastic moves in the relationship would happen for another couple of years anyway (we're working on a house remodel and I've got to get through this cancer thing).

InChargeMan · 2018-12-19T10:51:28+00:00

FYI she knows "religion" is BS too, to some degree nearly all reasonably intelligent religious people know it deep down. But, due to all the social conditioning, pressures, etc they try to keep others in the same boat to feel better about it (since people hate to be wrong). This is a shit test, treat it that way, own it. If she can believe in fairy tales you sure as shit have a right to not believe in it.

That doesn't mean you need to change her, it doesn't hurt for her to believe in sky Daddy, as long as she behaves the way you need down here.

red-sfpplus · 2018-12-19T03:43:48+00:00

You have possible prostate cancer and you are worried about sex?

Fuck man, get your priorities straight.

Title	New to MRP. Already getting enough sex--not sure where to focus to help other issues
Author	virtualfan
Upvotes	8
Comments	36
Date	December 19, 2018 2:29 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/a7i48m/new_to_mrp_already_getting_enough_sexnot_sure/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/new-to-mrp-already-getting-enough-sex-not-sure.203733 https://theredarchive.com/post/203733