Wife is going to happy hour with some guy friends

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December 10, 2018

My wife is going to a happy hour with a group of her ex-coworkers. They’re all guys. Over the last several months all of them have either found new jobs or were laid off. They used to go out to lunch together. And I didn’t care because they were coworkers. They had one happy hour after the layoffs and I didn’t say anything because the layoffs just happened. But now it has been several months and this isn’t networking or anything. It’s just her going to a happy hour with some guy friends.

We’ve been together over 15 years. I have never suspected cheating. But this just rubs me the wrong way. I clearly need to raise my attractiveness. But am I being a beta pussy about this or do you think this should be a boundary?

Post Information
Title Wife is going to happy hour with some guy friends
Author TheBlueStare
Upvotes 22
Comments 95
Date 10 December 2018 01:45 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/203743
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/a4r3dh/wife_is_going_to_happy_hour_with_some_guy_friends/
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Red Pill terms found in post:

[–]creating_my_life34 points35 points  (16 children) | Copy

I clearly need to raise my attractiveness.

What's your bodyfat right now? How many days a week do you go to the gym? How strong is your frame? What goals do you have?

But am I being a beta pussy about this or do you think this should be a boundary?

Why isn't she afraid of losing you? Why do you care so much? If she's going to cheat, she's not going to announce it by going out with a group of guys.

You need to focus more on you and less on her. You sound needy and insecure, and THAT is really fucking unattractive.

[–]TheBlueStare[S] 0 points1 point  (15 children) | Copy

25% body fat. I had been going to the gym, but I haven’t been in a few weeks because I have been putting in a lot of hours at work for a promotion.

I haven’t said anything about it to her, because I was concerned I would come off as needy and insecure.

I have never cared before or had a reason to say anything before. I just feel like there should be a boundary around getting drinks with a bunch of guy friends.

[–]SkimTheDross22 points23 points  (7 children) | Copy

I haven’t been in a few weeks because I have been putting in a lot of hours at work for a promotion.

Not a reason to not lift. Tons of guys on here can probably speak to getting under the bar before or after a 10, 12 or 14 hour day. Comes down to discipline and how much you want it,

[–]rocknrollchuck14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

12 hours daily for me. I don't miss gym time.

[–]Itstinksoutthere6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Here. Up at 4 AM daily for two hours of gym before hitting the office put in 10-12 hours a day!

[–]Flynnjacklepappy10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

11 hour day, just ran 3.5 miles, 35 degrees outside. Commit and do it.

[–]fromdario2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

At the very least, do 30 min of body weight training and watch the diet.

[–]apoc20504 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Doesn't matter how many hours you worked you don't miss lift time.

[–]Kpwn882 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

12 hour days here, I still lift

[–]Whiteliesmatter15 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not a great excuse not to lift. I lifted before 12 hour work days. Also. Put your own mask on before helping others. If you can’t manage looking after yourself even, why are you gunning for a promotion. First get yourself in order, then worry about other stuff. You need to work out minimum three times a week.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

You're right to feel that way, the problem is the line between mateguarding and dngaf is infinitely thin.

Fwiw, my boundary would be that it's ok to catch up with old co-workers, occasionally, up to say 9 or , 10pm.

[–]BobbyPeru7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Use this as a guide (even though it’s with guys)

Rollo Girls Night Out

Read this carefully. Don’t skim it

[–]TheBlueStare[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Last time she was home by 7.

[–]RPAlternate42Red Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

7 pm? I wouldn't fret about it... and you shouldn't anyways.

More importantly, what are you doing, because all I see here is some whiny shit about your wife.

[–]coachdad82 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hopefully going to lift at the gym

[–]simbarlionRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well then you are being gay, and if you call it next time she will just tell you she had to work late.

[–]tikitheman26 points27 points  (1 child) | Copy

I work nights. Ltr used to go out a lot when I was at work. I got my shit together and now she camps out in the car at my work. Its some silly clingy shit but thats what dread, and being the prize, makes woman do.

And yes I have banged her in the parking lot a bunch of times on my lunch break.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy

Have fun sweetie. Don't do anything I wouldn't do.

[–]Kpwn883 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Have fun sweetie, I hope you find a replacement for me so I don't have to deal with you anymore.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

For all your frame less pussies- DON"T FUCKING MATE GUARD

slap her ass and tell her to have fun

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red14 points15 points  (48 children) | Copy

The thought of me being such a faggot ass pussy to my wife/LTR that she has to go out drinking with another man or group of men to get her needed feelz and tingles makes my skin crawl of failure.

Whether she is physically fucking them or not is irrelevant. Emotional affairs are worse than physical ones in my book. And believe me, I know.

You have alot of work to do.


Story Time:

My current GF Mandy and I have been dating for about 6 months. Previous to that she was married 10 years to a beta who would never let her go to work functions, called her if she was 10 mins late from getting home, etc.

A few weeks ago they were having some work function celebrating our military. She works for a military supplier. Anyway for a few weeks she was telling me about it, etc. I told her to go, have fun with her coworkers and network.

She pushed back saying it doesn’t feel right and that she was never allowed to do it before. I reminded her I am not her EX and I said do what you want, but work social events are important. Yes there is drinking, I dont care. Go and have fun.

She checked with me a few days before and asked if she could go again. I told her yes, and she should go even if I said no. To live her life.

Anyway, she went, stayed a few hours. Got a huge text telling me how fun it was, she never got to do that, loves how I am not controlling, confident, how I didn’t check in on her, etc.

None of the words she said compared to how hard she blew me the next day.

Be the prize.

Its on them to stay faithful.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret13 points14 points  (47 children) | Copy

In my book there is a difference between socializing for gain at work vs socializing for gain in the feelz.

It is true though, if she is getting the feelz from hanging out with work Chad then it is the man's fault for not providing enough feelz in the first place. On the other hand, women are also turned off by having a weak ass husband who has no boundries.

The are complicated creatures I guess...

At my house socializing in this manner is inappropriate. To be clear, it isn't mate guarding, it is requiring my wife to act in a manner respectful to me at all times.

"My wife doesn't socialize in bars with other men."

If she wants to do it, that is fine by me, I can't control her, but I can control who my wife is.

It is all about Overt vs Covert contracts.

[–]coachdad86 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Great response. She can go out with whoever she wants but I can be gone when she gets back. It's not weakness, it's a standard.

[–]weakandsensitive3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

It is true though, if she is getting the feelz from hanging out with work Chad then it is the man's fault for not providing enough feelz in the first place. On the other hand, women are also turned off by having a weak ass husband who has no boundries.

Women know the boundaries. They're not morons. You don't have to spell it out.

For some men, they just don't give a shit because those men's boundaries don't matter.

For the men who matter, their boundaries matter too.

The better question to ask is "Why aren't I the type of person people give a shit about?"

[–]InChargeManRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Women know the boundaries. They're not morons. You don't have to spell it out.

I disagree. Women (really all people is submissive social relationships) are uncomfortable with uncertainty. This is part of why shit-tests exist. This is why kids push limits. A woman is much happier knowing the boundaries and knowing what the consequences for violating them are then having to test the fences to see which of them are firm and which are a facade.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red3 points4 points  (34 children) | Copy

At my house socializing in this manner is inappropriate.

Really? I think that is weak bro.

Its not like she is meeting some random guys from tinder. These are all people she used to work with. They have a very valid reason for this event. Its not like OP says this happens every 3 weeks.

People get laid off, and believe it or not some people like to keep in touch with those old associates of theirs, just in case.

She could have worked with these men for 10 years.

My girl works for a military contractor. Who do you think she is around all the time?

Think I give a single fuck?

Why should OP, or even you?

And it is mate-guarding by you.

Let her do her do the mate-guarding.

[–]HelloImRIGHT6 points7 points  (15 children) | Copy

I agree. Telling my wife she can't do things because it makes me uncomfortable? nah I'm good.

If I have to tell my wife what she can and can't do so that she doesn't get into a position where she could be unfaithful then something is wrong with me. Anyone I have to control in order for her to not cheat isn't someone I'm going to be with.

[–]Cam_Winston213 points4 points  (14 children) | Copy

u/InChargeMan clearly typed that he cannot control his wife, but that he can control the consequences of her actions.

Each person's situation is different.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly, the only person you can control in this life is yourself. Among the things about yourself you can control is who gets to share in your company and what your expectations of them are. There is no arguments or convincing to be done here, if you have a requirement for someone's behavior to have the privilege of being within your circle you make it known and let the chips fall where they may. The definition of Outcome Independence.

[–]HelloImRIGHT2 points3 points  (12 children) | Copy

Totally but did he not say he can't control her, but he can control who his wife is? I took that as it's a deal breaker for him. Requiring her to act in a certain way so that he doesn't feel disrespected seems kinda like mate guarding.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret2 points3 points  (10 children) | Copy

The point that many people miss is that it really matters very little what you want out of a relationship. What matters is the why.

deal breaker

Well, if I explicitly told my wife that she is not to go out for drinks at a bar with another guy and she did so, then yes, she would have violated my boundary. Now, realistically I wouldn't next her for just this one overstep, but you had better believe there would be consequences. If it were habitual then yes, I would next.

There are likely other things that are not boundaries for me which are for other guys. I won't judge, it isn't my place. A man's only true critic should be himself.

[–]Cam_Winston211 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I took that as it's a deal breaker for him.

Could be, not my place to tell someone else what their boundaries are. Like I said, each person's situation is different.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just so we're clear, I was referring to a woman going out for drinks at a bar with another dude purely for feelz. I don't personally have an issue with your GF's work functions, etc. I play in the same circles, even if you are going out for drinks, it is still work, you are always working to achieve some goal, smooth over some deal, etc.

there is a difference between socializing for gain at work vs socializing for gain in the feelz

But either way, it doesn't matter what I think about your situation or OP's. To each is own, and it is all completely fine.

What matters isn't what your boundaries are, it's WHY they are.

For me, my wife being seen out and about at a known "pickup" spot with other dudes is disrespectful to me. END OF DISCUSSION. It isn't mate guarding, it is me guarding my own reputation.

To repeat the most important point, it is all about OVERT vs COVERT contracts. If I want my feet rubbed down in honey every night and I make it part of my overt contract, who are you to say different? Is there a chance I won't find a special lady to do that? You bet, but that is between me and my boundary, nobody else's business.

"My wife doesn't do ..." It doesn't tell her what to do, but makes your expectations of whoever gets to hold the title known.

[–]marks19951 point2 points  (10 children) | Copy

Not only do I agree with your reasoning, but staying in touch with people you used to work with opens up opportunities down the road. What if she gets laid off next? What if one of them has an opening with better pay and better hours and recommends her?

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red3 points4 points  (9 children) | Copy

What if she gets laid off next?


What if one of them has an opening with better pay and better hours and recommends her?

Thats the point of networking and having friends in the business right?

Insecure faggots think every single thing a woman does is for strange dick.

Y'all need a metric fuck ton more of AM, OI and DNGAF

[–]hack3ge5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

It’s funny that I would have wrote a post like this 6 months ago and you would have called me a faggot.

My wife used to go out for drinks at the end of the day or at night with coworkers probably once a week. Now that I really don’t give a fuck she hasn’t gone out once - probably so she can keep an eye one me now.

The solution to pretty much every problem in marriage is being prepared to walk at any time and her knowing it.

[–]Cam_Winston212 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy

Thats the point of networking and having friends in the business right?

From the OP:

But now it has been several months and this isn’t networking or anything. It’s just her going to a happy hour with some guy friends.

Looks like a GNO, at happy hour, but with guys.

[–]hack3ge0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Honestly also probably just a vetting issue - if every single one of her "friends" from work are male then we know how that goes. Odds are she's a validation whore and OP has a history of not being her source of validation or being someone she cares about getting her validation from.

My wife used to go mostly out with male coworkers for lunch but yet somehow miraculously in the last 6 months her stories now only include going out with female coworkers.

[–]TheBlueStare[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

This isn’t a vetting issue. The whole time we’ve been together her only other male friend was the mutual friend I met her through. She has never been a validation whore. I think this is just from it being a smaller company with almost only men in her department. Now I could have slipped so far that she is getting feelz from her old coworkers. She is most likely just viewing this as networking/keeping up with old coworkers. It doesn’t really matter because me even thinking about not to mention posting about it just proves how far I have to go.

[–]Cam_Winston211 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She is most likely just viewing this as networking/keeping up with old coworkers

That's not what you said in the OP. Tough to gauge the situation with spotty info.

[–]weakandsensitive-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy

But now it has been several months and this isn’t networking or anything. It’s just her going to a happy hour with some guy friends.

That's because OP is an insecure fucking moron.

After our holiday party, a small group of us went out to the bars, and ended up at a house, smoking a bowl and pulling shots -- and we all knew that was still a work event. It has nothing to do with the event, and everything to do with context.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

smoking a bowl and pulling shots

your work events are way cooler than my work events

[–]weakandsensitive0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

It was afters with 20+ year olds. Still counts?

[–]PersaeusRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

totally counts and i'm so jelly.

on a common note, it's very difficult to find people my age that aren't boring as fuck. i've sort of just gave up and hang out with the kids (20+) now.

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Its not like she is meeting some random guys from tinder. These are all people she used to work with.

And she's meeting them to get drunk. And, it's not like it's at somebody's home, where spouses are around.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red-3 points-2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Whatever. You all arguing with me are faggots, plain and simple.

She is not the problem, OP is.

And everyone ITT saying "blah blah blah"

[–]friendandadvisor3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

Of course, your being full of shit is a symptom, not a cause.

Listen, dickhead, nobody said that OP isn't A problem, but, they are both the problem. Plus, your fucking sneak brag isn't helping the OP, it is just your clucking how you stole some AFC's wife.

OP is in a fix, and your pointing fingers at him, then giving your own private history isn't helping him; it may or may not be representative, as we don't know all of the particulars that put your gf into whatever mode she is in.

[–]hack3ge1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

The "particulars" that put his gf into that mode is something called frame.....something you are clearly lacking.

I'll give you a head start that maybe I shouldn't but I'm feeling generous - nearly 90% of what a vet here says as a solution to some cluster fuck problem in some newly unplugged guys life is going to be outside his reach.

The point isn't the solution but rather they are showing him the mindset he needs to achieve and with any luck he will learn to think and problem solve for himself. <Insert some ancient chinese proverb about a guy fishing>. The only thing that matters is can he improve himself and his mindset so this type of situation doesn't occur or doesn't even matter.

[–]friendandadvisor4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

What is needed, instead of sucking each others' dicks, is an answer for the OP. TO THE QUESTION HE ASKED!

He asked about 'boundaries'. He knows that something is wrong. He doesn't need any fucking mindset. The time for mindsets was yesterday. Tell a drowning man that he should learn to swim, always have a life preserver on, stay away from the edge of a boat...all well and good, and true. Unfortunately, it doesn't help. He needs actionable advice, now.

I suspect that most people here know that 'a boundary' has been reached, or crossed. Not one fucking person wrote that. They start cackling about vagaries, 'frame' and mate-guarding. These smug displays of self righteousness are getting more common.

OP may only need some fine tuning which he can't quite lock in on, in his state of shock. You're demanding that he buy the whole fucking radio station, after telling him about your great MSM empire.

[–]hack3ge1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yep he needs some help setting boundaries .... that he doesn’t have the frame to enforce.

[–]Whiteliesmatter1-1 points0 points  (8 children) | Copy

dude that’s so weak.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret4 points5 points  (7 children) | Copy

I challenge you to tell me why without parroting back the term "mate-guarding" or some variation on it.

JV level is being like Mr thundercuck. Patting yourself on the back for playing Mr. Cool when you girl wants to go get drunk with random dudes. You see, he is wrapped up in the idea that he will seem so mysterious and confident that he doesn't even think about how her behavior reflects on him.

Varsity level is to realize that all that spy-vs-spy shit you guys are thinking up are still playing the game. You might be on a higher level now, but you're still operating in her frame, since you are thinking so much about how your behavior is going to impact her behavior. Forget the 3D chess game and keep it simple. Be the rock. Have your convictions, stick to them. Shape the world to meet your vision.

[–]470_2_700_nm1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is it.


What do you want?
Are you willing to burn it all down to achieve that?
You know this is the long game right?

[–]Whiteliesmatter1-1 points0 points  (5 children) | Copy

If a woman wants to cheat on you, she will find a way.

Probably the most likely way my wife would cheat on me is when I travel on business or for sports with my friends. Certainly that would be the easiest way to do it. Far easier than on a night out drinking with old colleagues. Am I going to stop traveling for work or bring her to guys-only trips so I can be sure she isn’t cheating on me? Nope.

I have a friend who doesn’t dance, but his wife loves to dance. He goes to every dance night at the local bar, as the only person not dancing, just to make sure nothing inappropriate happens. Don’t be that guy. People feel sorry for that guy. Or anything close to it.

Sure shape the world to meet your vision, but also make sure your vision is achieved through leadership, not control. Controlling behavior and insecure behavior are brother and sister. Do not confuse leadership with being controlling. Leadership is a more respected way of shaping the world to meet your vision. But it is also more difficult. But what are the stakes? I mean if she cheats, then it is because you were with a cheater. So next her! Where is your abundance mentality? If you manage to control her life in a manner that makes it impossible for her to cheat, then she won’t cheat on you, but she would still be that same person who would cheat if given the chance. I still wouldn’t want to be with someone who I had to lock in a closet to be confident enough to relax about he prospect of her cheating on me. Or anything approximating that situation.

If the thought of her being at the bar with people of the opposite gender makes you so anxious that you can’t ignore it, STFU. The last thing she needs to hear from you is that you are insecure that she would prefer to fuck another guy. That says a lot about how you view your own caliber as a man. Would you be worried if these colleagues were Mountain Dew drinking, fedora wearing, overweight, pimple-faced recluses who “study the blade”? Let’s hope not. Behave as if they were, and she will pick up on that confidence demonstrated with confident behavior, not words.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy

Work on your reading comprehension dude. I have no fear of her cheating on me. If she does, she does, that is her choice, I don't control her.

Among the many expectations I have for my wife, one is that she doesn't socialize exclusively with another man at a bar. Her behavior reflects on me, the same way that the condition of my house does or the cleanliness of my kids.

[–]Whiteliesmatter1-2 points-1 points  (3 children) | Copy

I think I comprehend it right. Your post boils down to this:

"My wife doesn't socialize in bars with other men."

If that correct?

And that statement has a needy, insecure, controlling vibe to it. Would you feel that way if all the men had a SMV of 2/10? Not unless you were a 2 or less. So don’t act like they are better than you and she will be less likely to feel they are. And maybe you are right maybe she doesn’t need to do this if she isn’t getting the feels from you. So give her those feels. You are taking shortcuts doing it this way.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Sorry dude, I'm tired of spoon feeding for the day. You'll have to start learning the rest the hard way.

[–]Whiteliesmatter1-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Never say sorry. It is a sign of weakness.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]friendandadvisor9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

All of these fucks here accusing OP of mateguarding, so few, if any, telling him to 'get 2 in the kitty'. Also, he didn't ask if he should beat the shit out of her, and forbid her going out. He wants to know if this should be a boundary. If this is answered, he may then ask for your help.All these assholes parading their great Alpha-ness without helping OP...

OP: This is a red flag, but, not necessarily a boundary.

First, you cannot forbid her to go, since she may call your bluff.

Second, you must not whine, or hint that she shouldn't, or that it would make her uncomfortable, since you are in such shit shape, and it would make her despise you even more.

Third, get ready for her to come home with semen on her panties.

Fourth, lose the fat and read The 16 Commandments of Poon, and the sidebar. Lift!

[–]screechhaterRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Chill out

"Home" last time by 7pm, sounds like she has some boundaries of her own, and is not sending out to many signals to the fellows

It's important not to "mate guard" and show enough confidence as a man to slap her on the ass and say have some fun, and realize she might get home tipsy, ready for a little action

Listen up- view this and tell yourself it's time to manage some of your expectations and get to work No one can take care of yourself but you and to be honest, the promotion means nothing compared to your health, but it does help fight "hypergamy" and branch swinging, because you are improving so find a good balance

Back to the wife- a lot of guys will post all kinds of shit about her fucking Chad or she is cheating, but in reality, this is not really your concern

Your concern is you and if you are lacking confidence, start Dread, hit the gym hard, wardrobe, cardio and take some interest in taking care of yourself all around

I will tell you, I have been through a tantamount "main event" that would have broken most of the pussies posting shit on this sub, and I survived, (and thrived) because my "give a fuck-o-meter" was tuned up well work on the "not giving a fuck"

It's important to remember that you are here to work on you

If you are having a tough time putting all the nomenclature together- Remember that you are going to look @ a lot of your past, present and future with a different perspective starting now. It's a "Red Pill Lens" IF you have not read Rational Male, the time is now

Frame, confidence in you, exercise and passing shit tests are huge in attractiveness. I would conjecture that AA/AM most shit tests with tact and timing responses well, will be your best weapon

[–]PullNeckInTheHeat0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Best advice on here

[–]Peter_B_Long2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You can't expect respect if you don't respect yourself. You're not owning your shit so your wife is finding some juice in her life by going out with other people.

[–]Fogghhat2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Is it REALLY just her and a bunch of guys? Will there be any other women there?

What does she do? Are these a bunch of omega engineers? Or are we talking warehouse foremen?

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge10 points11 points  (6 children) | Copy

There’s only one reason a guy wants to be friends with chick. He wants to fuck her. She’s probably fucking the alpha of the group.

She’s definitely getting good feelz & tingles tm from this group of guys that you aren’t providing. I’d be concerned.

Fuck no. No fucking way.

Problem is that anything you say will come across as needy and insecure. I’d make fun of her. AA and cocky. Meeting your little accountant nerd friends? Let them figure out the tip...

Once you improve and up your SMV, hard boundary about this bullshit.

Edit: Is she ovulating right now? You’re tracking,, right ?

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret16 points17 points  (1 child) | Copy

Let them figure out the tip...

She'll figure out the tip, the shaft & balls if OP doesn't get that BF % down. They were just out having drinks with friends and it just happened. It didn't mean anything, she still loves you, etc.

Likely nothing to worry about OP, but if you're concerned, it's because you know you're deficient as a man in some regard...you're scared that she would fuck around. Do the work and remove that doubt. She'll do the mate guarding.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yep, more than just the tip.

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I googled The Ladder Theory and my own post was on the front page of results.

It still applies.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I remember that from 11 years ago. Still relevant today.

[–]IRunYourRiver1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Something else about the scenario is bugging you. Drinks with co-workers of any sex is really not a big deal. Especially a group of them. But you have some unstated reason for thinking this isn't okay. You can tell us if you want, but it doesn't really change the situation.

So, what do you do? I'm somewhat at a loss too. But this is where some self awareness helps. You are in one of four states that only you can judge. 1) Not strong enough to set a boundary. So it's literally impossible for you to do anything about this at all. Response would be lift, sidebar, OI, and live to fight another day. 2) You're strong enough to set a boundary, but not strong enough to NGAF. So, you can set a boundary. This is probably the most unstable situation. 3) You're strong and confident. She's dreaded or at least attracted enough to you that you don't need to do anything. 4) You're in redpill hyperspace. Go to your plate's apartment while your wife is getting drinks with the guys. Because monogamy is for losers.

I suspect you are at 1. But that's for you to decide.

[–]Morpheus_TNTB1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

No actionable statistics other than the 25% BF. You're a fatass that should be worried about the harpy being railed by Chad Thundercock.

[–]FFDGTDS0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I have never suspected cheating.

Never read "Women's Infidelity" have you?

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Don't read it while you are working through jealousy and butthurt.

[–]FFDGTDS1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Oh yeah, that shit’ll just piss you off.

But if he “never suspected cheating” I hope he doesn’t get too much sand up his nose, what with his head buried that deep in the sand.

[–]Bedtimeshine0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Fight fire with fire by having female friends you drink with. If other women don’t want to be around you... then good. Boom. You just found the real problem. And overall, don’t be scared. If she crosses a line, drop her. Hiding from possible pain is weak.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Pure fucking mate guarding. Don't it's unattractive

[–]Bedtimeshine5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Where do you get mate guarding? this is the opposite of mate guarding.

On a side note... mate guarding isn’t the death blow that inexperienced red pill theorists think it is... depending on how you do it and what type of girl she is.

[–]wiser123451 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Fight fire with fire by having female friends you drink with

There is no fight and there is no fire. This wouldn't be how to care for a relationship.

[–]Bedtimeshine2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fighting fire with fire is the ONLY way to handle relationship problems like this. Anyone with experience knows giving your partner a taste of their own medicine and showing them what’s like on the other side is what works. Talking about it is a fools errand.

[–]Redpillbrigade171 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

You should put a monitoring bracelet on her. Maybe even make her wear a headscarf hijab so other men can’t see her.


Get a life bro.

[–]friendandadvisor3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

This helps no one. It's not even amusing.

[–]throwawaystarkness-4 points-3 points  (7 children) | Copy

You should just tell her no. If she bucks, tell her she has to be home by 7pm and you won’t be home if she’s a minute late.

[–]Whiteliesmatter10 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Sounds like an ultimatum: an admission of powerlessness. And you going to flee your own house because you think SHE misbehaves? Sounds weird to me.

[–]throwawaystarkness1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Maybe. But he definitely shouldn’t be alright with that. Going out with all guys for HH is wrong and lots of potential for bad decisions to be made.

[–]Whiteliesmatter10 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

There certainly is. I don’t often take Rollo’s side because I think his views seem to be biased because it seems a woman hurt his feelings at some point, and that bitterness seems to seep through his musings, but in this case he has a great point.

You are the prize. If you are insecure about GNO, then you are insecure about you being the prize. If you express insecurity about GNO, then she will pick up the sub message: that you don’t believe you are the prize.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

are you out of your fucking mind ?

Mate guarding is very unattractive

[–]throwawaystarkness0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

[–]civilizedfrog2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

That website was taken over women a while back. Mate-guarding is a move which shows that have no options. Women don't want to be around a man with no options.

[–]hack3ge1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Half of those are women posting - I'd watch their actions and not some words they write on the internet. It's also possible that their men are alphas and so their perception of some of that behavior is much different than a beta doing the same thing. It's sort of like how beta you cuddling up with your wife made her skin crawl and she would feel like you were a clingy loser but that same activity provided when she views you as an alpha gives her comfort and security.

At the end of the day, only weak men with no options give ultimatums....ask me how I know. There's no reason to give ultimatums when you are the prize. Its actually one of the slightly annoying things I've noticed in my journey. The more I improve and the less fucks I give about what she does the more she wants my approval for everything. I've had to start drawing the line and telling her that she can use her judgment - this is from a woman who is a VP at a fairly large sized software company and bosses everyone around all day.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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