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Just realised that my wife makes absolutely no sense when she argues. What do you guys answer to "you hurt my feelings"?

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December 6, 2018
10 upvotes

TRP really opened my eyes. I finally understand that I'm not responsible for her well being. We had a fight and I held frame. Didn't give her an inch. Even when she said I hurt her feelings and I need to apologize. I didn't, so she left the room. Eventhough I probably handled the situation right I still feel bad. What would you answer to that?

Btw I didn't do anything bad. She just said it to manipulate me to apologize. I saw right through it, but I still feel bad. Should I handle it differently next time?


Post Information
Title Just realised that my wife makes absolutely no sense when she argues. What do you guys answer to "you hurt my feelings"?
Author NateRobinsonIII
Upvotes 10
Comments 52
Date 06 December 2018 09:07 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/203749
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/a3sbau/just_realised_that_my_wife_makes_absolutely_no/
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Comments

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge20 points21 points  (2 children) | Copy

“Eventhough I probably handled the situation right ...”

No you didn’t.

  • Betas get sucked into useless arguments.

  • Alphas just get sucked.

If you’re still getting into fights you’re doing it all wrong faggot.

“Just realized my wife makes no sense when she argues..”

No shit homo. What part of ‘don’t listen to what they say, only watch what they do’ dont you understand?

[–]gameoflibidos0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This. It takes awhile, but eventually you learn to deflect all argument attempts. You just simply don't argue. I'm guessing you don't have kids.. but the lesson flows to parenting as well. I no longer argue with my wife or kids. They try... oh.. they try.. but I don't engage or participate. Tone is even, I repeat myself or say nothing a lot.

[–]mindfulbutgutlessRed Beret29 points30 points  (8 children) | Copy

Are you saying that When You Said No You Felt Guilty?

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret13 points14 points  (6 children) | Copy

"I understand that your feelings are hurt."

"Yes, your feelings are hurt."

I've used this one: "Well, I can't argue with your feelings, now can I."

And don't feel bad about it either. It's just manipulation/power dynamics. Good job on not apologizing.

[–]wildnight98MRP APPROVED0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I've used this one: "Well, I can't argue with your feelings, now can I."

That right there is an example of why the comments on this sub are a gold mine.

[–]Frosteecat5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Last time this happened to me, post RP, I got the usual waterworks which used to make me feel bad and kiss her ass and concede every point I had just made blah blah blah.

Instead of kissing ass I just said "you're obviously very emotional right now. If you want to calm down and try again, I'll be available." Then I went and did some shit that was worth doing.

Not long after I could tell she was done crying and I sat on the couch with some music on and left space for her. Without a word she came and sat next to me and put her head on my chest.

You don't have to get sucked into every event horizon. You can calmly state what you WILL do and leave. If she's hung up on semantics and apologies, uber STFU and do not engage, which you shouldn't in the first place.

STFU is your friend. As well as the shortest possible boundary/acceptable outcome declaration.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Brings a tear to my red eye

[–]Redpillbrigade173 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Usually anything that starts with a “You” is a shit test. Treat as such.

[–]lifeadept2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

We had a fight and I held frame

this statement has no sense at all, unless fighting is part of your frame

If you "held frame" you wouldnt see this event as a fight. Everything that doesn't fit in your reality is funny, amusing, or irrelevant

[–]IRunYourRiver3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

As Bluepillprofessor says "Women always win arguments because only fools argue with them".

[–]Cam_Winston211 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

My wife says those exact same words. One day while we were having a fantastic afternoon and I actually brought up that her saying that meant that I unwittingly had at least some control over her feelings.

Me: "if I had control over your feelings, I'd make you feel like blowing me every few hours instead of every few days".
Her: <giggling> "you're such a man!"

I think that's called fogging. Did it during a time when we weren't arguing and I made my point (her feelz) while simultaneously flirting and making the conversation sexual.

Now when she says it I reply "okay, I think now I'm going to make you feel like giving me a blowjob". Immediately makes the conversation light hearted w/some sexual overtones.

[–]Two_kids_in_a_coat1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Watch, she’s gonna jump your bones tonight.

You carry on like nothing happened. Don’t bring up the fight.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Dumb ass chase her and beg for forgiveness

How about some sidebar reading ?

[–]redwall920 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Why? Why do you even have to post this answer?! Because it works in our beta programming, damnit.

Chasing/begging. How many damn months/years have been lost to what basically amounts to the beta version of going Rambo?

Be attractive; don't be unattractive.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

God only knows the amount of years lost.

I do know that once a man had been cut to the core by a woman, and it finally sets in, the guy no longer begs for anything, “Billy Beta” is gone. Of course until the next Unicorn and then rinse rrpeat becomes the norm

[–]whakahere1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

You must fog. Her walking away is you not leading. She used the human flight mechanism to remove herself from the situation, therefore, you've done poorly. Staying in your frame is not about not listening to someone and being stubborn with your views. It is being about identifying what you want and then convincing everyone one else with your actions that this is the correct choice.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

"She used the human flight mechanism to remove herself from the situation, therefore, you've done poorly"

Perhaps this time...but not always is a woman walking off or going to slam a door a sign of that. Sometimes it's just passive aggressive stamping of feet.

In this case I think the failure is the not recognizing the situation quickly enough and everything leading up to that what led up to the point he was goaded into saying something utilizable for testing.

[–]LongRoad_5180 points1 point  (18 children) | Copy

My wife goes into emotional rage mode. Fogging usually doesn’t help when she’s in that mood. Not arguing with her (though I do still find myself starting to and then stop quickly) and removing attention helps. She’ll be pissy for a few hours or a day but then it’s magic like nothing happened. Going through that right now. Overall it’s a good thing. She’s shit testing me and I laugh it off or remove myself. Try just leaving her be, reset the next day. If she wants to be bitchy so be it, don’t let her influence your mood. They hate it when they’re mad or upset but really love when they can’t affect you.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge0 points1 point  (17 children) | Copy

She sounds like a spoiled little bitch. Perhaps feelz a disturbance in the relationship dynamics and resisting the change... can’t give up that power over you too quickly.

Have you fucked her on the kitchen floor again? Tell Uncle Chad.

[–]LongRoad_5181 point2 points  (16 children) | Copy

She is spoiled. No fucking on kitchen floor but some great fucks in the bedroom. More in the past week than the prior 2 months. Back to her not wanting to be a “hooker”. Figured a fun response would be “Yeah but you’re my hooker”. She did not like that lol. She goes from ready to fuck to cold as ice. I think as you (or someone pointed out) it’s the Madonna/whore complex. Anyhow sex god method pretty interesting book. Added some spanking and no protesting.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge1 point2 points  (11 children) | Copy

Great.

“Back to her not wanting to be a “hooker” “

Classic response. Awalt. Good AA response. Don’t really have to say anything though. Don’t you dare fucking address it logically- Pedal on the metal. Slowly ramp up the dominance: light spanking, ordering her to do things for you (inside and outside of the bedroom). Cocky attitude. You have to convince yourself that you are entitled. That’s your pussy. Take it.

After your SMV gets above hers and you transform into a dominate fucking alpha male who owns his shit and can get some strange if you wanted to, she’ll eventually realize that the only thing that she has to offer you of any value is her wet pink hole. That’s when you have arrived. All the pissy and bitchy attitude will cease to exist.

[–]LongRoad_5181 point2 points  (10 children) | Copy

I need to remind myself of the logic. I’m very logical and good at debate but there’s no logic here. It’s all emotion. Will continue to work on this. Good news is it’s usually small stuff that I get into. When she goes full on bitchy it’s very easy to see her as an emotional child that is flailing to try and put me in my place to regain power.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge2 points3 points  (9 children) | Copy

Me too, engineer here - why I was in a deadbedroom for years. The more logical I got, read all the books, listened to her word for word, tried to work out a win-win, worked on “us”, made a chore list and methodically went through it and crossed out each item as I did them, the more that pussy ran dry.

They want to feelz, they get the good feelz from the dominate alpha. End of story.

[–]outfo2 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy

omfg

Beware gynocentric “Therapists” - a long time ago the wife and I went for like 10 sessions to some moron. I had mapped out in excel a normal week in 1/2 hour blocks to show how insane and noose-worthy life would be if we tried to do all the bullshit the wofe wanted. This chart was tits. If tits were stupid chores and weakness. No free time. All work. No fucking.

The piece of shit was like, “ yeah thats about right.”

I should have punched him in the face.

A year later, things are worse - big surprise. I’m like fuck it, this is important. I look up the absolute best expert within 100 miles - a real pro, multiple bestsellers in thebookstore. Doesn’t take insurance. $250 per session.

By the end of session 1 she gets it. She wants to see just the wife next time. Wife comes back from session 2. We fuck once. She never goes back. Marriage back to garbage.

Years later. Find trp. Read/youtube for a week. SMDH - all this wasted time. Hit gym again after 3 year break. Stop shutting down ny inner asshole and just start doing whatever I want. Grabbing her ass - the usual huff n puff, but im like too bad get used to. She gives one hard no. I let her have it verbally.

Next morning, sex every time. No fuss. I just take it or tell her drop the kid off at school and then lets fool around. Done.

And free. All free from internet strangers.

Thanks guys!

Edit to add:

Oh yes best part. She tried some shit cause I told her to rewind a show. Made a fuss and was all “you didnt even say please”. This was in front of our kid. I acted like it didn’t bother me at all and said, “You should go to bed because you have a bad attitude.” Red Pill Magic

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge5 points6 points  (6 children) | Copy

“I had mapped out in excel...”

Just had a good laugh, thanks.

When my kids were really young, at my lowest Beta faggot point, wife used to bitch at me in the mornings about how long it took to get the kids ready, lunches packed, day care shit bags packed, and getting them out the house. She was brutal. It was all my fault because I wasn’t helping her “enough”. I woke up everyday to this shit.

So I created an actual schedule in Prima Vera with all the activities that needed to get done and highlighted the critical path- the longest path through the network- to PROVE to her that SHE was the one holding all of us up from getting out the house. We had to wait for her to get done make up and all that shit and approve their clothes. Fucking clothes natzy!

I tried explaining to her that SHE was the critical path and needed to just wake up earlier to get all her activities done on time in order for all the other activities to start on time for us to leave on time. She was using up all the Float on stupid shit and wasting time. I had built-in leads & lags too...

= dry as the Sahara.

Sad, but true.

[–]robertwservice19741 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You out-CPM’d her...that’s some next level shit right there.

[–]3legsbetter1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is my new favourite Uncle Chad post.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"Could you just pick out the kids clothes so I can get them dressed?!?!"

[–]outfo0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

You out-nerded me. Kudos! lol

Trp explains so many mysteries - like how an intelligent woman can be so dumb/not understand a basic idea.

Like: she has a problem, i find something that looks likely. 10 symptoms. She has 7 or 8. I read it off to her. “I don’t have blank.” One symptom that she doesn’t have negates the whole thing? Only in Vaginatown.

Medical commercial on TV. I comment,” Watching these drug commercials actually causes you to develop medical problems.” Her answer? “I don’t have blank.” No shit moron. Do u understand the difference between a general case and your narcissistic self? Of course, the answer is NO she does not.

The frame that women are like kids or retards is so much more useful and effective. No rational agency. Feels and hypergamy.

[–]wkndatbernardus1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Women have gone full retard.

[–]Chump_No_More0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Me too, engineer here

Lol, RP Warrior and Engineer. Lethal combination. What discipline?

[–]BostonBrakeJob0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

She'll wanna be your hooker as soon as she realizes she has to keep up to keep you around. The AF with a side of BB, if you will. I heard all this just a few months back...now I hear "I can't wait to get home so I can take care of you."

Does she know you have options? Hell, do you know you have options?

[–]LongRoad_5180 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I’m realizing there’s a lot of hot women out there and once I make myself attractive I’ll have options. My wife shows signs of mild dread. Especially when I travel (usually 1 wk per month). It will take time and I’m ready for it.

She came to bed last night and we had a quick fuck so I’m not too concerned by what she says. Only what she does.

[–]BostonBrakeJob0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

...once I make myself attractive I’ll have options.

Try to get rid of this limiting mindset, without blindly ignoring what traits you have that still make you unattractive. In otherwords, think of your areas for improvement as ways to make a good thing better, not things that you need to attain before you can even start to go after what you want.

Especially when I travel (usually 1 wk per month).

Sounds like lots of opportunities to get her hamster all wound up. Carpe diem.

I’m not too concerned by what she says. Only what she does.

Is this because you got a treat before bed? Or because you're seeing what's behind the curtain?

[–]LongRoad_5181 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The latter... I see progress in all areas of my life. Physical, career, parenting and her. She knows (she’s said it not me) that I’ll get what I want with her or someone else.

[–]TheThirdT0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you had a fight, you probably didn't "hold frame". You didn't handle the situation right and you feel bad because you let her judge your actions. If you are being manipulated it is because you allow it. Next time don't get in a fight also read WISNIFG.

[–]nastynickdrRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

> but I still feel bad.

Give less fucks

[–]RedPillCoach0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Eventhough I probably handled the situation right I still feel bad. What would you answer to that?

The common answer is: Nobody gives a crap how you feel. What are you going to DO.

The right answer IMHO: "Aww, I am so sorry you got your cute little feelings hurt."

[–]tharkyllinus0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Told mine once that im not responsible for her feelings.

[–]BluBlac590 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I have gently and firmly pushed (not forcefully or shoved) my wife onto our bed and undressed and started to have sex with her while she's still giving me the "feelings" talk. The look on her face the first time I did it is a good memory. After she was seated on the bed I just took one of her feet and let her talk and placed it against my groin as I untied her sneaker then lowered her foot then grabbed the other placed that one in the same spot then untied and removed that one that's when her smile started I then undid her jeans, she's still talking, stepped back and took my clothes off and started she never resisted. The fight was over and I threaten her with it whenever she starts on it again. i usually smirk and say to her "Are you asking for a good time again?" her normal reply is "you know me too well" nips it in the bud. You know her, give it a try but don't push it if there is real resistance.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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