Giving wife a book recommended by RedPillWomen?

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November 30, 2018

Has anyone done this successfully without their wife actively asking for this type of literature?

If so, any suggestions for where to start?

I'm doing pretty well in my marriage, but I'm still not sure how presenting her with The Surrendered Wife would go, regardless of the value in its words.

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Title Giving wife a book recommended by RedPillWomen?
Author StandardDeparture
Upvotes 8
Comments 36
Date 30 November 2018 04:32 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
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[–]justpickanyusernameRed Beret27 points28 points  (8 children) | Copy

I was once like you when I first got here. I once thought that I could change my wife by having her read a book with instructions on how I wanted her to act. I even purchased The Surrendered Wife the book you mention here.

I never gave it to her and I am glad I didn't. The book itself is fine to be honest. There is a lot my wife could learn from it. The biggest problem is that it doesn't fix the biggest problem of all. YOU!!!

To be a true RP man you need to be able to lead your woman. If you can't, then you are only pretending and no book will bring you any lasting change. Change yourself and she will follow (or not). It is much more effective this way.

There are no shortcuts here. You need to actually become a desirable man. Sidebar, lift, and lead is how this is accomplished.

[–]alphasixfour20 points21 points  (4 children) | Copy

This. Fix your shit first.

My wife read the Surrendered Wife when it came out and promptly shelved it as "good but not really applicable" -her words, since I was a beta chump. 15 years later I put in an entire year's worth of work into embracing the red-pill changes and unfucking myself.

Read that again. One Year of work.

Once I started leading and making changes I dusted off our copy and started reading it without saying anything to her. I did it because I was curious as to how well it fit in and not out of some covert contract that she would read it again and suddenly the book would fix my marriage.

Of course she shit tested me about it and after I finished it I left it on my nightstand and let her hamster run for a few months. My best amused mastery reply to a shit test on it was when she asked why I was still reading it and I told her "Just window shopping"... with a laugh and a pat on her head and then STFU.

Then in a mini main-event fight where she was comfort testing about how she didn't know what I wanted anymore I took my opportunity to calmly hand her the book, told her 80% was in there and the other 20% would have to remain a mystery for her to solve.

She's been eating it up. I still hold no illusions that it will do anything apart from provide her with a roadmap. One that I am working to provide for myself and inviting her along for anyway.

Why didn't it work 15 years ago? Simple. I hadn't done shit or provided her with an actual man to surrender to. You can't surrender to nothing unless you are French.

Under no other circumstances would her reading that book have had any positive effects at all. Lift, Sidebar, STFU, pass shit tests, game your wife, be your mental point of origin, etc.

no shortcuts. Get your ass to work.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

“ Simple. I hadn't done shit or provided her with an actual man to surrender to.“

Yep. She only mirrors you.

I have a red pill hard on now.

[–]alphasixfour7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don’t point that thing at me Tiger. 😉

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thread right here.

[–]alphabachelor3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Came looking for silver, found gold.

[–]Peter_B_Long7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy

It's based off your own judgement.

Some women would burn the book and then tell all of their friends how you're a misogynist pig. Other women would receive the book and say, "Thank you, I know how hard you work to be a good husband to me and I've wanted to reciprocate the effort but I didn't know how, this book will help so much!"

Is your woman seeking guidance for how she can improve herself for the sake of her family?

If you're just hoping that you can put this book under the Christmas tree and pray that she becomes the woman you always wanted, then I'm afraid this will only do more damage than good.

[–]BePrivateGirl5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

DO NOT do this. I would have been so offended. I personally hated the tone of the first few chapters of The Surrendered Wife in particular. Now that I’m done with the whole book, yeah, it’s fine, but I was a Red Pill Woman before reading it. It did not “convert” me in any sense. It was barely tolerable. I liked “Fascinating Womanhood” a lot more, despite it being very comically sexist, and rumored to be written by a man, I found the advice easier to implement, despite the outrageously stupid framework/backstory.

I have read interesting things about the book “for women only” by Shaunti Feldhahn. From book reports/summaries by the posters on RPW. I haven’t read the books myself but you could look for the posts. But in general, the best advice-is not to take advice from women.

Signed, A woman

[–]testy683 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

The fact that you're asking this question tells us a lot. Are you are a blue pill looking for your wife to help change you (wife is the leader of the family, not you)? Are you are afraid of the fall out once you start doing red pill and you are trying to prepare her for the change and prevent the natural fallout (shit tests, resistance) that will occur? Neither of those are good situations IMO.

Maybe help us understand why you are asking and what you are hoping to gain by her reading the book.

[–]Redpillbrigade172 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

All you can “give” her is what you’ve learned with regard to how it applies to you. “Give” her the best version of yourself and it should be more than enough.

[–]jcrptaRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nice idea, and one I've tried myself.

One small problem: it cannot possibly work unless your wife is open to RP ideas. We already know that 90+% of the population isn't. In fact, they're so "not open" to RP ideas that they find them downright offensive. That's why "don't talk about RP" is repeated over and over.

Why do you think your wife is any different? Hint: If she was, you probably wouldn't be on this subreddit in the first place.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge7 points8 points  (3 children) | Copy

You can’t negotiate attraction faggot. Go fix yourself and then go fuck yourself.

[–]SteelToeShitKickerRed Beret2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy

If your woman would read the book and implement the changes prescribed it it, you wouldn't be here in the first place.

If so, any suggestions for where to start?

Start in the weight room and the kitchen. Height / weight / lifts?

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Right. And what the fuck is red pill women ? Why is he reading that.

[–]Kpwn881 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

what the fuck is red pill women ?

It's a subreddit dedicated to post-wall reformed sluts trying to encourage each other to be tradcon so they don't completely emasculate their betas and inevitably leave them. Of course, they still do from time to time.

[–]wiser123450 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Self-care is absolutely a start. But just being buff and having a shitty attitude won't fix a relationship.

[–]SteelToeShitKickerRed Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

You are 100% right. But getting buff is a start, one that most haven't taken. One that most don't want to take either.

[–]wiser123451 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'm at an age where I need to up my game that way. It starts to go all on its' own. so definitely hear you

[–]SteelToeShitKickerRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Also, don't underestimate how much getting buff changes people's behavior towards you. It's really night and day, and a whole lot easier to be positive and upbeat when people are just super nice to you.

[–]TaipanshimshonRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That depends...

does she want to fix anything but you ?

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

People change only if they see a reason or a benefit. Right now, you are the only person that wants her to change. Giving her a book is a waste of time.

[–]Frosteecat2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’ve been reading books for 43 years. Like, A LOT of books. They haven’t done shit. I read SL5x5, Repair manuals & my wife’s period tracker now to know when I can bang the most. Fuck books.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Eat Love Pray

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

you ain't gotta do shit, better off if you read the sidebar and lift

read up on dread

[–]RedPillCoach0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I am going against the prevailing sentiment on this thread because I think the book is just fine to give to your wife. If she reads it with interest she will learn something, be more pleasant, and more sexually available. However, in most cases she will not read it at all (though she will claim to have read it). I think most women throw it down in disgust when they realize the point is to trust your husband and they don't read any more.

A few points.

First, the newest version of the book is called: "The Empowered Wife" and while almost nothing else is changed, this title is much more palatable to most women. To paraphrase the entire book, it is basically an instruction manual to women to don't GAF about the stupid crap in life, stop worrying, rely on your husband, and don't worry if it doesn't get done. Keep your eyes on your own paper. What's his responsibility is his problem, not yours so enjoy it girl. Also, take care of yourself and pamper yourself.

Second, her reading a book will change nothing. All of it must come from you. However, if she chooses to read the book and make an actual attempt to be a helpmate then I think that changing you becomes easier. The tactics in the book literally force the husband to 'man up' so if she follows it (or even makes an attempt) while you are actually trying to "man up" and follow the MRP plan then I would expect rapid and very pleasant progress.

Third, giving her the book is an uber Beta move that most men can't afford. If you rely on her reading a book to change a single thing in your plan then you are in her frame, not in yours.

Fourth, there are downsides which often outweigh the potential upsides so think about it first. It tips your hand and literally gives her an instruction manual for controlling you (granted it is with pleasant and submissive behavior, frequent hot sex and blowjobs but still!). She may also reject it outright and use it to do the opposite! As I said above, most likely she just won't read it so no damage other than the Beta move giving it to her.

Bottom line? There is no such thing as a "Surrendered Wife" but there are wives who have been conquered. Unfortunately, having her read a book is not going to further that objective.

[–]wiser123450 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Isn't a satisfying life about finding your own interests and not trying to manipulate others?

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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