Wife got upset about folding laundry. Was this a shit test and did I handle it wrong?

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mrptw
November 13, 2018
11 upvotes
askMRP

Wife is a stay at home mom. She complains about having to fold laundry, but she enjoys her time sitting in front of the TV up in the bedroom alone for an hour while she does it. Tonight I suggested again that the kids should be helping with the laundry, at least folding their own clothes, and she started to get upset and then turned it back on me about how many of my clothes she folds and puts away, and why wasn't I helping. I told her to stop using folding laundry as an excuse to sit in front of the TV for an hour (I know it takes her twice as long to finish when she does) and make the kids help. Then she dropped a pile of my clothes she had just folded onto my laptop and stormed downstairs.

I wanted to run after her and yell at her, but I didn't. It's not that I expect her to stare at the wall while she folds laundry, I'm just sick of her deliberately going slow so she can have more me time and then complaining how overworked she is. It ought to take less than 10 minutes to finish if her and the kids were focused on it.

Was I wrong to call her out for watching TV? Was her response a shit test, or just disrespectful behavior? How should I have handled this situation?


Post Information
Title Wife got upset about folding laundry. Was this a shit test and did I handle it wrong?
Author mrptw
Upvotes 11
Comments 30
Date 13 November 2018 07:19 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/203794
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/9wmwvl/wife_got_upset_about_folding_laundry_was_this_a/
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shit testthe wall
Comments

[–][deleted] 52 points53 points  (1 child) | Copy

I think it's funny you think she got upset about folding laundry. No, idiot. She got upset over her douchebag boring faggot of a husband.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Bingo.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine25 points26 points  (1 child) | Copy

“Tonight I suggested....”

Subordinate betas don’t get to call the shots.

It’s not about the laundry. She’s pissed that you took a back seat to life and put her in charge. She resents you faggot. Shut the fuck up and pay the bills.

Only Boring subordinate betas get talked to this way. You sound boring as fuck.

Not a shit test, there’s nothing to test. She already knows you have a small dick.

[–]DeplorableRay1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Now I'm sure I like you.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red39 points40 points  (0 children) | Copy

Listen faggot.

Back the fuck off your wife.

I am a single dad and let me tell you.....

Folding laundry while watching TV is the best.

So fuck off and let her watch her TV in peace.

[–]creating_my_life42 points43 points  (0 children) | Copy

What's your squat and bodyfat?

Why isn't she afraid you're going to dump her lazy ass for a younger, hotter woman who fucks you more?

You know this has nothing to do with laundry or kids, right?

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you think this is really about the laundry, ask yourself: Why would she save this particular chore for when you're home instead of taking care of it earlier?

You sound tedious, like you're trying to micromanage your own home. Who gives a fuck how long it takes her to fold laundry? Are you paying her by the hour?

She doesn't want help from the kids because, aside from the fact that it's not even about the laundry, she's already with them all day. She home schools them, so she's looking for an escape. Not just from the kids but from her boring day to day life. I'm overworked = I need a vacation = I'm looking for an escape. It's an escape that you could provide when you get home (if you're attractive enough). While you're complaining about the dishwasher laundry being done incorrectly, she's fantasizing about a real man using her freshly laundered pants to tie her to the bedposts.

​

[–]InChargeManRed Beret21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy

Stops in once a year and learns nothing...Check

https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/6my8fv/should_i_encourage_my_wife_to_get_a_job/

[–]youcantdenythat8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

you mad? lol

it wasn't a shit test, it was an emotional reaction. you two are arguing like a couple of little kids. go re-read your post and look at how whiny you sound. do you think a grown ass man should come in here bitching about his wife watching tv?

she has an excuse, you don't. go read the sidebar material and don't come in here bitching or asking dumb questions until you know about frame, deer, am, fogging and have been to the gym 15 times (in the last 30 days)

[–]TheThirdT7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Why do guys keep engaging this petty bullshit? Maybe she takes so long to fold the laundry to get away from you.

​

Stop suggesting...how about telling the kids its time to fold their laundry and showing them how to fold and put it away.

Stop worrying about your wife's complaints.

Stop "telling" things to your wife.

Stop asking the wife to make the kids help. If you want them to help you make them.

Why would you want to run after her and yell? Why are you seeking arguments over laundry?

Why are you sick of her taking her time to fold laundry and watch TV?

​

How should you have handled the situation? As far as I can tell you created this situation, how about not doing that next time.

[–]ParaXilo6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think everyone else handled it but here's my plug.

Stop by the Cut the shit thread and actually put in some work vs stopping in once a year because your wife still won't fuck you.

[–]wkndatbernardus4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

At least she's actually doing something productive while she stares at the black hole of our culture. Shit, if she actually accomplishes chores up there in her boudeaire, give her more stuff to do while you get quality kid time. Don't you see you're winning here?

[–]helaughsinhidden6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

If the "highlight" of her life is complaining about folding laundry, you sir are a fucking bore.

[–]Two_kids_in_a_coat2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don’t micromanage.

[–]RedPillCoach3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

We are getting more and more sophisticated trolls.

sick of her deliberately going slow so she can have more me time and then complaining how overworked she is. It ought to take less than 10 minutes to finish if her and the kids were focused on it.

OK, sounds reasonable if presented in the right way.

stop using folding laundry as an excuse to sit in front of the TV for an hour

Which is why I call troll. Your wife gets to watch TV for an hour whenever she damn well wants to watch TV!

You criticize her and tell her how to do her job with an attitude that you are "sick of her wasting time" and then you think her getting upset is "disrespectful behavior."

This is like a shit testing woman who pokes and pokes and pokes and then when the bear jerks away she says: "Why are you so emotionally distant."

How should I have handled this situation?

If you actually knew how to do the laundry and fold the clothes you can wait until the wife is not home and then grab the kids and a pile of laundry and teach them how to fold and put away the clothes. Then the wife comes home and it is all done.

One exception: Many women get great pleasure from serving their family and they don't want you to interfere with their work. If you do the job for a woman like this she will become anxious and angry with you rather than grateful so, as always, if you want to teach the kids to fold the laundry DO IT FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR FAMILY, NOT FOR YOUR WIFE.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

We are getting more and more sophisticated trolls.

And some are in it for the long haul. Year between posts, no less.

[–]man_in_the_worldRed Beret8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

I told her to stop using folding laundry as an excuse to sit in front of the TV for an hour

Why are you shit testing your wife? Why are you surprised that she flips your shit test back on you?

[–]InChargeManRed Beret8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Maybe OP should post on RPW

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Does she iron your socks?

[–]binrobinro3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Jeez, give her some time to herself.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Why aren't you putting away the laundry (yours and the kids) to show her how to do it? My wife sucks at laundry - it's the only house chore she has a problem with. I've taken the initiative to do my own stuff, get the kids to help fold and put away their stuff. Her stuff gets left (not to be an asshole but I don't know what to do with it and her crazy closet).

Since doing this, I've found the laundry sometimes even gets done during the week now... before it'd just pile up. If it does, I just spend time on the weekend with the kids putting it away. Making a game out of it with the kids helps too - who can fold the most the quickest, etc.

[–]Chump_No_More1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Dude, you've been here how long and you still don't get it.

If you can't handle the most basic of shit testing, go back to MRP 101 and just STFU until you actually have a frame.

Why are you losing your shit over laundry? Is your ego still that fragile?

A woman's emotions are the air that she breaths. They ebb and flow like the tide and they come like waves crashing on a rocky beach.

Emotional highs & lows are what feeds a woman's soul. If you're not giving her the drama she needs, then she will create it, herself. This is all on you and you're failing.

All relationships are transactional... don't let anyone convince you otherwise. Maybe when you start giving her what she needs, you get what you need. You're the captain, it starts with you.

Go back to the beginning...

[–]mrptw[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I wasn't losing my shit over laundry. I was hoping her reaction was a shit test that I could shut down with a clever comeback and have her do what I wanted. The laundry wasn't even the issue as I mentioned in my other comment. I should have acted like the captain and taken the lead in addressing the matter of household chores instead of making a half assed attempt at delegating it to my wife and then getting upset with her when it didn't get done.

​

​

[–]coachdad81 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I wash and fold my own laundry. If she complains about folding the kid's laundry, I tell her that it's her fault for getting knocked up four times and she should have thought of that before she let me bust inside her for 8 years.

[–]JameisBong1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Interesting, why do you care so much? I'd just let her do it, upside down if she wants to as long as it's done. And no don't respond to her shit test. I'd ignore and reset like nothing happened. Don't ever bring this shit up again to her.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

deleted What is this?

[–]mrptw[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I wasn't about the laundry, and I see now that I shouldn't have even gotten into that argument. What I was really upset about is that my wife lets the kids get out of doing chores because they throw tantrums and manipulate her with guilt. I want my kids to grow up with a strong work ethic, but it's unreasonable for me to expect my wife to be able to lead them in chores when she grew up with two working parents and didn't learn those lessons herself as a child.

I've been asking her to make the kids a chore chart for weeks now, but she's been resistant. I thought if she was the one to come up with it then she'd be more invested and would follow through with having the kids complete them. I also wanted the chores to get done before I get home from work so we could spend time together doing something more fun.

I know now that I'm going to have to take the lead on this. I'll assign the household chores and teach the kids how to do them. It shouldn't be a big deal if it happens after I get home from work, and if they'd rather spend time with dad playing video games instead of washing dishes they'll get them done sooner.

[–]rocknrollchuck2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I've been asking her to make the kids a chore chart for weeks now, but she's been resistant. I thought if she was the one to come up with it then she'd be more invested and would follow through with having the kids complete them.

Haha, right. No, that's your job.

I know now that I'm going to have to take the lead on this. I'll assign the household chores and teach the kids how to do them.

Yes, this. Do this: for the next year, make ALL the household responsibilities yours. Do everything you can to leave her with nothing to do. She should have to stop you from doing everything. Take the lead, and make her wonder if you need her anymore.

if they'd rather spend time with dad playing video games instead of washing dishes they'll get them done sooner.

I don't have a problem with a man playing video games once in a while, but with the issues you're having, video games should be the last thing on your mind. Read this to see why. And then find something else to do with your kids. Maybe get some board games, or go outside (winter is here, so this may be less feasible).

[–]VancerX0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you're dying for the kids to learn chores that bad take them outside to rake leaves for 4 hours. In other words, LEAD by example. If you're Wife is a SAHM (Mine is as well, home school) and she's willing to disrespect you by dropping laundry on your laptop and storming away, you have some serious work to do.

[–]DaveSpeaks0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sit on the bed and fold laundry for an hour with her. No need to rush.

​

Married people have no reason to "shit test" each other.



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