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LTR and recreation cannabis use on holiday

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November 7, 2018
7 upvotes

Going on holiday in a next week with LTR. She has indicated that she might want to smoke a little weed in the country we are visiting. Neither of us has had a drink in over year and haven't smoked anything in 3-5 years. I personally don't think this is up for discussion and I should just call her on it. I don't like recreation drug use in my circle and have distanced myself from that lifestyle completely and she is completely aware of that and have had frank conversations on "If that's shit that you want to do, next". I know, watch her actions not her words, but any advice on nipping this in the bud? No pun intended..


Post Information
Title LTR and recreation cannabis use on holiday
Author progression_101
Upvotes 7
Comments 28
Date 07 November 2018 08:32 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/203810
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/9v334m/ltr_and_recreation_cannabis_use_on_holiday/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
long term relationship
Comments

[–][deleted] 39 points40 points  (2 children) | Copy

Been noticing a long slip and slide from guys here (and too many others supporting the distraction) of being entirely too focused on how to get wife to do x , how to get wife to not do x.

WE

LEAD

BY

EXAMPLE

She chooses to follow or fall off.

If she doesn't follow, you aren't her leader and you still need work or she's proving she doesn't fit your map.

Entirely too much externalization here.

We don't make her lose weight.

We don't make her budget.

We don't stop her from being an alcoholic.

We don't care what she thinks of this thing or that or want to hear about her family history, or if she's bipolar.

ARE YOU WHO YOU WANT TO BE AND DOES SHE FIT IN AND FOLLOW YOUR LEAD?

Again: You improve you and evaluate the chick in your life. If she doesn't fit the bill she falls off the boat. All the rest of this hand wringing is giving entirely too many fucks.

If your frame is solid and she knows you don't like x or y, and is willing to do x or y regardless of your attitude. That tells you all you need to know.

Is this worth drawing a line in the sand over.

Does she even notice you bent over and crying while you draw it?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Solid feedback. Moving on. Boundary will be enforced.

[–]maxofreddit7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Careful... I t’s not about “enforcing a boundary” & controlling someone.

YOU don’t smoke if that’s important to you. If absolutely necessary, you can let her know that you prefer to be with someone who doesn’t smoke either, then you let her make her decision.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy

Boundaries. You have to have them.

[–]itiswr1ttenRed Beret4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Boundaries are necessary but control is for faggots, I like to say

[–]maxofreddit0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

Need more context here. Was there previously a problem with drug or alcohol abuse with one or both of you?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yeah, I had a long stint with psychedelics in my early 20s which caused a lot of strife in my life, moved on from it. She hasn't had any abuse issues, just experimentation. There was an occurrence earlier this year where we were out and she ate half of an ecstasy pill given to her by her friend. I told her that's something I am distancing myself from and doesn't align with my goals or values. She cried and said she's done experimentation or one-offs as such.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

She cried and said she's done experimentation or one-offs as such.

Well there you have it. If she smokes weed, she is going against her promise and a boundary. Have a boundary discussion. First, come up with a consequence you can implement. The biggest mistake people make with boundaries is setting a consequence they can’t follow through on.

Did you previously set a consequence? If not, you don’t really have a boundary (yet).

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

which caused a lot of strife in my life, moved on from it.

Someone give this man some gold..

You know how much wisdom and ownership you have in that sentence?

Now just stop the bullets Neo as you are close.

Just make the mental connection, she doesnt matter.

[–]justpickanyusernameRed Beret5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

she is completely aware of that and have had frank conversations on "If that's shit that you want to do, next".

What's the problem then? Sounds like you don't want to enforce your own boundary and are looking for a way out.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, that's what the issue is, I was trying to rationalize internally it being ok. The boundary will be enforced. Thanks.

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

is completely aware of that and have had frank conversations on "If that's shit that you want to do, next".

You have already drawn a line in the sand.

It sounds like sobriety is something you value. I wouldn't budge on this.

Remind her of the discussion you have already had and don't re hash it. Don't add to It.

[–]theunconquored1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yep. You don’t have a choice here. Your words have meaning or they don’t.

[–]j_arbuckle20122 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

"I personally don't think this is up for discussion and I should just call her on it."

You answered your own question dumbass.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Golf-clap for the recognition.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Looking at your post, you want me to tell you it’s ok to have a boundary of not smoking or heavy drinking on vacation, or in your life.

Well, own your own decision.

I will tell you, don’t get thrown in prison in another country over pot use. You wouldn’t be able to handle it.

I will also tell you it’s your choice, and as the leader in your own life, it’s very well your decision on your choice for you

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Pot is lame.

You have not lived until you have railed a line off your woman’s tits.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I don't like recreation drug use in my circle and have distanced myself from that lifestyle completely and she is completely aware of that and have had frank conversations on "If that's shit that you want to do, next".

Question asked and answered. Just do it.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

deleted What is this?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Get high off the post lifting euphoria. Drugs make you weak.

[–]Frosteecat1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I WISH mine smoked a little lol. Especially during shark week.

[–]Bedtimeshine1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You said what you said when she took extasy now it’s time to follow through if she crosses boundaries.

[–]bob13bob0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Op can't set boundaries with himself over drug. But then he insists everyone else also not have fun because he can't handle it. Weak.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

It’s just weed man

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not to him it isn't.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Fuck you.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Hahahaha



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