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Withdrawing attention from your wife without sacrificing time with your child(ren)?

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November 2, 2018
12 upvotes

Son is 5 months old. I already miss thing because I have to work. Food on the table and what not. Not expecting a reward because it's what I'm supposed to do.

Wife is a harpy cunt and I'm ready to step it up and withdraw time and attention outside of my workouts and jiu jitsu that she already complains about but I've been able to broken record "I enjoy being active and it keeps me healthy." Unless recommended otherwise and just keep doing these things.

  • I work out early morning and late evening in the garage while everyone sleeps

  • I usually go to BJJ for an hour and total time occupied maybe 2 hours with class, changing, drive back, and shower.

How do you withdrawal attention from your wife but not lose time with your child?

They're not shit tests. If they were shit tests she would want to fuck me. She doesn't want to fuck me. I don't even want to fuck her.

MAYBE they're comfort tests? Could have STFU more but I at least was able to just walk away with my son and take him to play.

Still trying to get it and be less of a faggot.

Take aways:

  • This is a shit test. I'm failing.
  • I Still give too many fucks about what she says.
  • I need to be the oak. I'm not.

Post Information
Title Withdrawing attention from your wife without sacrificing time with your child(ren)?
Author ParaXilo
Upvotes 12
Comments 43
Date 02 November 2018 10:10 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/203831
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/9too2i/withdrawing_attention_from_your_wife_without/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
shit testcomfort test
Comments

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"27 points28 points  (9 children) | Copy

You know what women love? When you walk down a busy street with a cute puppy.

You know what women love more? When you walk down a busy street with a cute 5-month old.

Take him out. Everywhere. After all, he's yours.

[–]ParaXilo[S] 12 points13 points  (8 children) | Copy

That's a good idea. Never thought about that.

edit: Seriously how has this not crossed my mind. Tunnel vision maybe.

[–]WesternhagenWinner15 points16 points  (5 children) | Copy

Can confirm. I remember it well.

Of course, later you'll have the "carry the howling toddler out of the store / church service / restaurant while everyone stares at you" experience, too.

[–]ParaXilo[S] 6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

Right currently hes being breastfed so it makes it difficult because he eats every 2 to 3 hours but we can definitely do walks to the park and around the neighborhood.

[–]RedPillCoach6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is childsplay. Pump a couple bottles and go for the entire afternoon.

[–]SgtSilverBack1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I read that as establish boundaries for acceptable behavior and enforce the crossing of said boundaries.

But hey, if OP can't enforce boundaries with one, he can't enforce them with anyone.

[–]ParaXilo[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

You're not wrong. Something I haven't done and need to do. Set boundaries.

[–]SgtSilverBack2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

My post to u/weaternhagen works whether it is with a kid or a wife (HINT: same thing). With a 5 month old or a 5 year old you don't have to say "don't be an asshole in public". You can just say "unacceptable" and take them to the car and sit them there while you; read Reddit, or sidebar.

They will learn that poor behavior results in repercussions. And you don't control them, only state what you allow in your life.

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

More like retardo-vision.

[–]ParaXilo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That too. Thanks for the obvious tip on the trip thing.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret6 points7 points  (4 children) | Copy

Erase harpy cunt.

Add exhausted milk machine

Fags piss and whine because the pussy is dry for them.

It’s dry cause you ain’t attractive. You ain’t suggested time fir her to pump so you can bottle feed, and get some sleep

Nothing worse than the unattractive new father victim

Remove time and attention for what ?

Ignoring a full grown man to grow her greatest gift to you ?

[–]ParaXilo[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

She hates pumping and feeding him. Easier just to whip out the boob then pass him back to me.

In place of that I take him in the morning like today so she can sleep a little extra when we are off work. It gets me time with my boy to watch him play and be an infant.

Remove time and attention for what ?

Ignoring a full grown man to grow her greatest gift to you ?

You got a point there.

Overall, I got it now. Stop being a faggot. Just STFU. Lead. Be attractive.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Wholly fuck

You lead her out of this- because you want to bond with your child and there is no better bond than the child looking at you while feeding

don't be a weak sequestering bitch/bond with that child

[–]Reach180Red Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Baby time is mom time. Kids are wired to bond with mom during feeding.

How did kids bond with dad before bottles were a thing? I suspect they didnt....until they were old enough to be useful.

Dads dont need to be moms.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

the fact of the matter is times have changed. embrace it

not here to argue masculinity

[–]Kpwn8810 points11 points  (13 children) | Copy

These aren't comfort tests, those are a genuine concern of losing you, which she clearly isn't. They are shit tests and you are failing them. Probably because you don't want to, which makes me wonder why you got her pregnant in the first place?

However, 5 months is still pretty young. Is he breastfed? If so, good luck getting her to pump milk so you can take him away. She's clearly attaching herself to the baby for feelz, and you'll start a war if she suspects what you are doing.(and she will)

If he's formula fed, it makes things easier in this regard, but expect storms. Sounds to me like you fucked up pretty bad during the pregnancy, or maybe just got too serious and she doesn't see you as any fun anymore. She senses you are annoyed by her so she's ramping it up thinking it's going to be easy to replace you in typical solipsistic fashion. For this situation, I recommend taming of the shrew game.

Of course be willing to walk as a last resort, but it's well proven kids fare far better in life with a stable home so stop blaming your wife and do some self reflection on where you fucked this up. If you give a shit about your kid, you'll try to turn this ship around before it slams into a reef. It's very doable, don't ask me how I know. You chose her for a reason, so start digging to remember why.

[–]ParaXilo[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's what I'm trying to figure out where I fucked up. I impregnated her premrp.

I want a stable home for my son. I didn't go to training very much is that all last month in October due to her getting sick and I stayed home taking care of our son so he wouldn't get sick since we weren't sure what she had. Maybe just a simple cold not sure. Both work in healthcare so didn't want to bring home anything.

Then how do you pass a ship test of taking up a hobby and being a busy man. We haven't been out because our schedules have been shit lately.

Never blamed my wife. I am well aware that everything in my life is my fault.

[–]ParaXilo[S] 1 point2 points  (11 children) | Copy

You seem to have a better handle on understanding of all this post partum. So am I supposed to not lift And not go to Brazilian jujitsu The 1st couple of years of my child's life?

I'm not even trying to pull the cocky funny anything right now because I'm not good at it. At least not with her.

I lost weight after the baby because I was tired of being fat. I came to mrp because I knew I needed to really unfuck myself and hold a better version of me.

I'll probably have a shitstorm when I get back from training but I have to train because I'm competing in a tournament soon.

[–]Kpwn884 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

No, you keep doing what you need to. Your mission doesn't change. How you react to her emotions is the only thing you need to fix. Just calm down and enjoy the ride. When you lighten up and stop taking her so seriously, she'll start to remember the man she fell in love with.

You're all wound up. I can sense it through the internet. Go get a massage... hell get one with a happy ending if you need to. Either way, she is a reflection of you. Never forget that.

[–]ParaXilo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

A massage sounds good.

[–]BostonBrakeJob0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

I'm not even trying to pull the cocky funny anything right now because I'm not good at it. At least not with her.

Why's it any different with her?

[–]ParaXilo[S] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

She knows my blue pill self. It doesn't come off natural. It comes out too forced. I'll reset and add more cocky funny. Experiment with it.

[–]BostonBrakeJob4 points5 points  (5 children) | Copy

She knows I'm bullshitting myself. It's not natural. I have to force it. I'll reset and add more cocky funny. Experiment with it and see what she likes best, because this is all still for her, afterall.

ftfy

[–]ParaXilo[S] 2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

You're definitely right. I'm having trouble transitioning away from doing this for her and more for me. I'm in the fake it till you make it. I mean entire life of bullshit/blue pill condition vs 4 months of actually trying to change. It's not gonna happen over night right?

[–]Kpwn881 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Took me about 5 years until it became natural instinct fully.

[–]FoxShitNasty831 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

In nearly 1 year in and the lightbulb is starting to glow a bit.

[–]ParaXilo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I've noticed. Keep up the work.

[–]BostonBrakeJob0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Right on man. Just makin sure you recognize it, which is half the battle.

You gotta realize that's your kid too, without going out of your way to make a point of it. It can be a tough balancing act especially when you're still being heavily tested. But it does sound like you have a vision and a plan, stay the course.

(re)Read up on the anger phase and women's nature (Rollo, PFP).

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

broken record "I enjoy being active and it keeps me healthy."

You are DEERing. Fail

Why don’t you want to fuck her? Is it because her attitude or looks ?

[–]ParaXilo[S] 3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

You are DEERing. Fail

Maybe AA would be better? "I gotta train for the day ninjas attack?" "You never know when Chuck Norris might wanna try to wrestle." "I like to snuggle in pajamas. This is a close second." - Stuff like this? I need to go back and review how to pass shit tests then.

Why don’t you want to fuck her? Is it because her attitude or looks ?

Attitude. Definitely attitude lately.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

No, you’re still DEERing with the chuck Norris thing. You’re just disguising it in a weak AA attempt.

You don’t owe any explanation. Why do you feel like you need mommy’s approval? Just go and STFU. Quit thinking you need to use one of the “tools” all the time. You suck at picking tools AND at using them. Baby steps... start with sTFU until you can master that.

Her attitude sucks because you are miserably failing her shit tests. Quit being a pussy and thinking you need to DEER everything. You are a man. Be one. Do what you want.

I liked the suggestion of grabbing the kid and using him as a chick magnet.

[–]ParaXilo[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Alright I'll STFU and master that one by the end of the year.

Yeah I liked it too. I'll take him with me. Problem has been his eating schedule. I'll think of q way to solve it.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

At 5-6 months, you should be able to figure out a bottle situation (pumping, starting to mix in formula... etc) Get that figured out, and then just start taking him. If you tell the intentions with the bottle, she’ll cock block it.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

I wouldn't make your wife part of the plans one way or the other.

"I'm taking (child) to the park" and leave it at that. She may decide she wants to come, or she may decide she wants quiet time at the house. Who really gives a fuck either way? Your goal is to spend some quality time with the kid. If she wants to tag along (i.e. follow your lead) then let her.

[–]Kpwn880 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

A 5 month old can barely sit up on its own. If she goes mama bear on him at this stage it will nuke the relationship. All it takes is one phone call to the police. Going Rambo is retarded as long as he's in her frame.

[–]ParaXilo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That's where I keep fucking up. Entering her frame.

I've ramboed. Doesn't go well.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

“Son is 5 months old. I already miss thing because I have to work”

Did you just call your son a thing?

“They're not shit tests. If they were shit tests she would want to fuck me.”

Ha. No. They’re shit test and you keep failing them.

[–]ParaXilo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Typo. Things*

Yeah noticing that. From the comments. Well fuck.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I don't understand what is keeping you from doing things with your child without her being invited?

Surely you don't want to spend every spare minute with the kid, right?

So... When you do want to spend time, take him for a walk or to the park or a hundred other things little kids love to do.

When you don't, have your day so full of shit you want to do that you can pick from any number of items that don't have anything to do with your wife.

As your son grows, include him in the manly things you're doing around the house.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just get a car-seat and a pram/stroller and take your son out with you shopping or just going out. Most malls have a food court with a kids playground. 5-months to young to play on the gear, but still a chance to be around other kids for him.

[–]man_in_the_worldRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

[–]ParaXilo[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Great post. I'll bust out the stroller and go for a walk with him tomorrow.

[–]RedPillCoach0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

How do you withdrawal attention from your wife but not lose time with your child?

When she is pregnant you can't and you should probably be paying her more attention anyway.

However, when that little Vaginal Turd drops out, not only does your wife no longer have the absolute Constitutional Right to kill it, believe it or not YOU gain some rights as the father. I know most of you have never heard of that or imagined having any rights but it is true. That is YOUR child (hopefully). The best way to remove time and attention from your wife is to take YOUR child without the wife and go do something awesome. Stimulate the kid. Go to the Zoo or Museum. Talk to him. Read to him. Bonus- if you do that in public with a cute kid the women will flock to you like flies to shit.

Shit Test/Comfort Test

From your description these are what we call "Shitty Comfort Tests." They look exactly like Shit Tests but she is actually being a snippy little bitch because she wants you to take charge. Of course if you try she will fight you every step of the way.

Amused Mastery and leading her to a better place are your answers and these are EASY to "pass" if you actually still love and care about your wife.

The problem is that you don't, so any type of comfort test is almost impossible to pass.



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