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wife says, “I don’t know what game you’re playing “

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October 29, 2018
11 upvotes

Since my last post was uninformed I will try to start this one more appropriate.

  1. Been married to my second wife for almost two years.

  2. We have a one month old child. Both of us have children from previous marriages.

  3. I have lifted in some manner since I was 9 years old. I guess you could say I am one of those guys that won the genetic lottery. The first time I remember maxing on bench I lifted 210lbs. I don’t recall my age but I weighed around 125 or 130 because I remember being the only kid that could lift over my weight when we maxed. In middle school I dunked a basketball for the first time and realized I had a talent for jumping. I wound up earning a college scholarship for track and field and competed for two years and just missed qualifying for NCAA nationals my freshman year. I quit college after two years and got into powerlifting. I competed one time for the USAPL and unofficially qualified for nationals for the raw division. I say unofficially because it was in an equipped division so they wouldn’t accept my lifts. I still managed to earn a bronze medal in the Southern regional championships being the only unequipped lifter in the building. My best lifts (primarily all gym lifts) BP 455, SQ 605, DL 550. Currently I am training for a fight (explain under hobbies), so my lifting varies depending on my body weight. I am cutting some weight for my fight. However, strength, muscle mass and testosterone have never been a deficit for me. A year ago, on a bet with a chump, I went and maxed on bench. Had not touch a weight in at least three years and I told the guy I could bench over 300. I got 365. I weighed about 215 at that time. In my early 20’s I had a hormone profile done because I had trouble sleeping and the doctor thought my symptoms were that of Low T. Plus I drank a lot everyday and my diet was a typical powerlifting diet. When the bloodwork came back he asked me if I took steroids. My free testosterone level was just under 800. Right now I’m 34 years old and about 205lbs under 10% body fat and should hit around 6 to 7% on weigh in day. Now post-RP I guess you could say I’m the most genetically gifted recovering beta chump I could be. I was raised by a single slut to be a feminine emotional stuffed animal. I think I am coming out of the rage stage because I am finally starting to be entertained and slightly inspired by my use of game. Up until about 2 to 3 weeks ago I was almost ready to go straight up MGTOW. I think seeing some dread results has boosted my confidence.

  4. My main hobby is competitive kickboxing. In 2017 I won the International Kickboxing Federation amateur heavyweight title. It’s a small niche but a pretty serious accomplishment for it. I haven’t competed this year accept for the upcoming bout. I plan on getting into amateur boxing this year to hopefully pursue a title in that.

  5. I am just now familiarized with dread and it seems like I am going from level three to four. From my best judgment, I was inadvertently causing dread pre-RP but succumbing to the shit tests(high achiever in career and hobbies). I think that is probably why my first wife left and my wife now has been giving me so much grief and throwing all kinds of shit tests at me. I am now actively applying dread and seeing some real progress the last month. Which is probably why I am getting out of the rage stage.

My last post gave me some great insight on my progress and regress. With these new insights I hope to break past some sticking points and move forward.

On to my question. I have seen some recent positive results from shit test avoidance. My wife was raised in a home with an alcoholic parent and has a history of abuse. Despite my femininistic upbringing, I didn’t experience the same kind of trauma. I imagine I activate a few of her “triggers” while she cries wolf 100% of the time. Now that I recognize 99% (most likely 100%) of them are shit tests, her frame is losing stability. Last night I stood my ground till the bitter end. Even left the house because she threw a dirty diaper at me. During her attempt to argue she threw every comment possible at me to incite rage and disgust. I didn’t even raise an eyebrow. Then she said, “I don’t know what game you’re playing or what the rules are, but I am going to find out and we’ll see how that goes”. I just want to know if any of you have been in a similar boat as me and how you’re progress has went to get some idea how this will look as I proceed. I know everyone’s different but I would still like to have an idea.

A word before you answer*

I am a Christian and I will not consider divorce until certain lines have been crossed. You can think I’m stupid but that’s just me. When those lines are crossed, it will come without hesitation. If she leaves and files for divorce, I will not prevent it. I will sign and walk. Until then I am committed to every practical means necessary to make my marriage work. So a hard next is not my first option. Also considering the trauma my wife experienced as a kid, mental illness is a predictable certainty. There is no formal diagnosis but she is in therapy but takes minimal active responsibility for her condition(always a victim). I have little to no hope for her therapy because it is a female therapist but better than nothing I suppose. I think any progress that has come has been more from my newfound RP increase in stability in our home environment rather than therapy. My marriage may be on its way out and I am prepared for that in some ways and preparing in all the other areas I can manage. I sold my house paid off all my frivolous debts and all but one we shared which I should be able to pay off soon. I drive an old truck and work for cash. I’m ready for anything but will try to work it out. Either way, for once in my life, I’m good. Just want to hear from the guys that have traveled this same road. Thanks and God bless!


Post Information
Title wife says, “I don’t know what game you’re playing “
Author InSearchOfLogos
Upvotes 11
Comments 37
Date 29 October 2018 01:49 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/203844
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/9sd8t4/wife_says_i_dont_know_what_game_youre_playing/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
betatestosteronedread gameframeshit testliftgameMGTOWhard nexting
Comments

[–][deleted] 42 points43 points  (0 children) | Copy

she threw a dirty diaper at me

A literal shit test. That's a first for me.

[–]FlyingSexistPig13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

They might be comfort tests instead of shit tests.

A post-partum wife is a wreck of emotions. She's trying to control the situation, because she's uncertain of everything.

Lead her. Tell her what to do and when to do it and she'll be comforted. Right now she's making up the rules and this is TERRIFYING to her. She's got a new baby, so she's fat and ugly. So you need to create her safe world for her.

[–]dandar460019 points20 points  (3 children) | Copy

I think right now there are quite a few issues that make the situation much more than a typical attraction and frame situation.

1) 1 Month old baby.

2) Wife recovering from giving birth

3) Sleep deprivation

4) Typical stress from mixed family

5) Husband that is angry, not fun, has unstable job, dangerous hobbies and is acting differently then ever before.

All that is putting her under a great deal of stress. You're supposed to be her rock, a person to lean on. Instead you're one more person she has to worry about.

[–]rocknrollchuck6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

You should crosspost this in r/RPChristians.

[–]Reach180Red Beret9 points10 points  (4 children) | Copy

If your handling a shit test ends with an angry woman firing a diaper at you, you probably did it wrong. You seem intent on winning....but framing it as winning or losing an interaction sets you outside of your frame.

Somewhere, I think it was /u/strategos_autokrator who made an analogy along these lines: A shit test is basically your wife coming to you and saying "Here, I made you a plate of shit for dinner." If you eat it, you fail. But if you say "I'M NOT EATING THAT SHIT!", you also fail. Both of these options exist within the frame she presents to you. Both are reactions to her.

Also, you seem overly serious about everything. It's like you take these shit tests from your wife as direct challenges to you. Are you any fun to be around? Do you banter, or do you two just fire bitchy-ness at each other all the time?

[–]light-----------dark13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

Does one win if they can get their wife to eat the plate of shit?

[–]InSearchOfLogos[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I am capable but I have a mile wide competitive streak that she loves to exploit. My biggest challenge is not escalating when she tests me. When I stay calm I do much better and make the mood lighter. I disclosed way too much about my past, weaknesses and insecurities. She loves to bring that stuff up.

[–]Reach180Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She loves to bring that stuff up.

So then when that stuff ceases to bother you, it's a loud and clear demonstration that you aren't such a thin skinned pussy.

Nothing in your story is unique. Every wife knows how best to test their husband. Learn to control your emotional responses. We have all had to do this.

[–]SamTrenbalone1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I disclosed way too much about my past, weaknesses and insecurities. She loves to bring that stuff up.

Just look her right In the fucking eyes and own it. Done.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

“ second wife”

Stopped reading. But giving you a chance.

“positive results from shit test avoidance.”

You must Pass, not ignore, them. Sends two totally different messages. Ignoring them in the beginning is good, because you will most likely fuck it up.

But at one point, when YOU become the Prize, you need to crane kick it out of the park. Do the homework to learn how to pass them.

She’s shit testing to ping off the environment, similar to radar, to see if you’re a man. She’s making you tap out every time.

Are you Gaming her? You sound really serious. Is she dtf?

[–]old_fasioned_man2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Would of been fun if you caught the diaper and said something along the lines of "nice pitch"

[–]screechhaterRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

White knight, sav a ho kickboxing motherfucka

Grow the fuck up

Quit with the childhood trauma bullshit.

You are deluding yourself.

You my man, are so fucking unattractive after two years, she is throwing a dirty diaper at you

Sidebar.

Lift

[–]Kpwn888 points9 points  (6 children) | Copy

A one month old baby... Pulling asshole game on a postpartum woman? You deserve to have this blow up in your face.

A little word of advice for you and my other "redpill christians" Don't under any circumstances pull the "Ephesians 5:33" card. All it shows a woman is that you are so weak you have to hide behind the bible to lead your family.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

“Ephesians 5:33”

Ha. Some gay shit right there.

A man will always be beta in his wife’s eyes - because he bows down to an imaginary big daddy in the sky and obeys him.

Religion is brainwashing to keep the masses of betas in check- keeps them from emerging from the pack and becoming alpha.

Back in line you go, little sheep, obey, conform, Shame on you, repent, drink my body and blood like a little pegan goat that you are, I demand to be worshipped.

And by the way, imma need at least 10% of your earnings because your value, in my eyes, is directly proportional to the amount you give me. I am the almighty god but I always have an issue with money, I always need more of it. I can’t handle money.

[–]Reach180Red Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Religion is brainwashing to keep the masses of betas in check

Replace Religion with public schools, and religious symbolism with patriotic symbolism. Voila - no imaginary daddy necessary.

[–]Kpwn880 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

George Carlin was the best

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Truth in plain site...cloaked in comedy.

[–]RedPillCoach0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I once had a client who followed his wife around the house reading selected passages to her about submission.

Strangely, it did not work even on his holy and devout Christian wife who simply told him she would not submit unless he loved her with the unfailing love of Christ.

In other words, IF you are perfect, THEN I will try to treat you with some respect (but only if I want to do so in the moment). Women believe that the vows are for men, not for them. Women will never follow any Scripture that contradicts their emotions in the moment no matter how clear or compelling. The female rationalization hamster is one of the most feared creatures in all the world.

[–]Kpwn880 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is precisely why there are no red pill women.

[–]TaipanshimshonRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Adverse childhood events are correlated with poor outcome across all domains in life.

You gonna make fixing her shit her responsibility or not ?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

There's a faking before you make it period where this particular shit-test will come up.

Keep striving for making it and it really doesn't matter.

Do YOU think you're playing a game? What part of any of this is a game? Games are for unmarried PUAs. Once signed on the dotted line... nothing is a game anymore.

These little silly statements are just a way to note she's noticed a change in behavior and dynamics and she's trying to make it fit her frame instead of adopting yours. It's a fishing expedition. Ignore. Don't bite.

[–]JudgeDoom691 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

We have a one month old child

Yeah, she gets a pass until the hormones settle down. Suck it up, buttercup and enjoy the ride.

Just concentrate on being an awesome husband and father, at least until she's done breast feeding.

[–]gettingmymojobackRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

None of this will work if you’re doing it under the premise of “I will do whatever it takes to make this relationship, divorce is not an option”.

You’re setting yourself up for failure.

The person who needs the other person the least in the relationship has all the power. Tattoo that to your forehead.

By saying that divorce is off the table (presumably unless you actively catch her cheating), you hand her all the power.

Good luck making any meaningful progress while you are still operating under those parameters.

Be ready to burn it all to the ground or you’re just wasting your time.

[–]light-----------dark5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Tattoo that to your forehead.

Maybe tattoo it in a more discreet place, just so your don’t show your cards. .

[–]rocknrollchuck0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

The counterargument is actually the more important of the two, but the main post will provide some much-needed perspective for what you're dealing with.

Also, BPP advises that you not use dread on a pregnant woman. I would wager to say that advice would extend a certain amount to a woman with a newborn. YMMV.

Last, I would advise most of all that you STFU while you get the rest of your stuff together.

I think any progress that has come has been more from my newfound RP increase in stability in our home environment rather than therapy.

This just shows that the focus should be on you and your changes. Don't worry about her right now.

[–]Reach180Red Beret1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

BPP advises that you not use dread on a pregnant woman.

This is a commonly stated thing here that I wish would curl up and die.

Everything below DL8 is the basics of being an attractive man. Should be practiced by every man all the time.

[–]rocknrollchuck1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

True. I would think this would go without saying.

(Looks around) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Oh. Yeah.

[–]RedPillCoach1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

You should not INCREASE your Dread Levels post partum or during pregnancy, certainly beyond DL5. The phrase is said repeatedly, do not use ADVANCED Dread game (above DL5) with a post-partum/or pregnazoid- or if you are happy with your marriage.

[–]Reach180Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah....well, judging by the other replies on this post, it's so commonly misquoted that it has taken a life of its own.

[–]Kpwn880 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Perhaps what they mean is to not up the dread levels during pregnancy. If you are rocking a steady level 5 and have a happy marriage, chances are she won't become postpartum after the birth because you are already doing your job as a man.

On the other hand, if you start lifting the day after the baby is born and SFTU so you don't look beta when she needs comfort, you are going to get a well deserved shitstorm.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I see that you're a Christian in this post - you might benefit from asking for advice over on /r/ChristianMarriage as well seeing as faith is playing into this equation.

[–]RedPillCoach0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

one month old child.

Congratulations! Do we really need any more information? Do you?

Throws childish temper tantrum: Check

Throws dirty diaper: Check

I don’t know what game you’re playing or what the rules are, but I am going to find out and we’ll see how that goes...

Demands to know what has happened to her power to hurt you and make you freak out? Check.

Why are you advancing and even consciously using Dread Game when your wife cannot even have sex? What exactly is the point? What is your goal? You are a NEW FATHER! Are you leading the family like a new father?

Your wife wants to know what game you are playing and I am also curious. What game are you playing and what are the goals? I wouldn't tell the wife the new rules, but I would talk to her about the goals. Do you have any?

[–]lionmenden0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Your wife is Low Self Esteem. Read "Practical Female Psychology for the Practical Man", it's basically NMMNG but explaining about women instead. I think it will give you much better insight into her behavior. It's the second most useful book I've seen recommended here.



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