I discovered red pill a few months ago and have been swallowing it -- reading, started my MAP. I've been a complete pushover beta.
With my new way of looking at the world, I recently discovered my wife is having an affair. Married 14 years. Both in early 40s.
I've realized she never was attracted to me and hates my attempts to be emotionally close. So our relationship has been me chasing and her throwing up roadblocks -- extreme disrespect, which I was beta enough to accept.
The thing is, she just accepted a new job and is set to make a lot of money. Up until now we've been equal earners. I've never been a beta bux but she leans on me for support in a lot of other ways, as she's an immigrant.
She is begging me not to divorce. I have no interest in an emotional relationship with her -- I lost all attraction when I learned of the affair. I have no hope that we'll "fix" this. She will never divorce me.
The deal is very clear, though mostly unspoken. We stay together to raise the kids and so she doesn't lose face with her family, and I provide the same support I always did. She'll support me financially -- I'll work, but her new job is in a high-cost area and I'll probably shift to something low-key. I can spin plates. She claims she'll be faithful, but let's not kid ourselves. She's up for sex, though I'm not.
I do think her active disrespect will stop, as she has no more emotional leverage over me now.
This is not what I expected of my life. It's not my idea of marriage and it's hard to accept.
But in some ways I'm in no hurry to divorce -- the option will always be there, and I should come out fine if and when it happens.
Anyone have thoughts?