I see this topic come up over and over. I think I might have even posted on it in the past. I get it, we initiate, if we get shut down, we find a way to go do something else. This is tricky, like a tightrope act trying to not take your toy and go home without looking like a pouty 4 year old.
However, I think I have this part down, and to be honest it's not that hard for me, since I don't deal with a lot of rejection. Pretty much whenever I want she will "allow me to have sex with her body" aka starfish.
My problem with being butthurt is this:
I love oral, she know this. No BJ's for the first 17 years (might be off by a year or two) this was pre-rp, and I one time I got ballsy enough to just ask her/tell her what I wanted. She agreed and did it, at the time saying "this is out of my comfort zone" I complimented her on how good it felt, etc, etc. This was about 6 years or so ago. I thought "great!, now this is on the menu, if I get one a week, or every other week, I'll be stoked"
Yeah well.. we all know how that story ended. It was a couple times a month at first, then about every three months. Then regressed to "special occasions" maybe Valentine's day or my birthday. So, again.. couple years ago had "the talk" (blue pill stupidity) and in the middle of the discussion she blurts out "I know what you want, but I think oral is disgusting and I'm not doing it" then later kinds of backs off that and says.. "well, I mean it doesn't mean I'm NEVER doing it again"
All that backstory to ask this question. I initiate, I game her, kino.. cocky fun. All that. She's is always buying lingerie, and is pretty good about using it. However, no BJ's for probably over a year now. She KNOWS I want it, and in arguments in the heat of the moment she has said things like "I know I'm not good enough in bed" etc, etc. But unwilling to change it apparently. ( at least for me)
The issue is, after we have sex, which is ok (ish) 5 out of 10 for enthusiastic participation most times, and 0 out of 10 for oral. It just grinds on me that she knows I want it and won't do it. So the mental tug of war that I have is, she is kind of watching me to see if I'm happy or not afterwards or the next day. I feel like if I act like everything's great, I'm not being honest with what I want from her, and she's think " Ok, cool.. he's good with everything, no BJ required.. maybe he's forgotten about it and totally satisfied now" but if I act butthurt or sulk (which isn't common, but I'll be damned if it still doesn't happen from time to time). She kind of gets the message and the next day "what are you mad about? Is it something I did? Or didn't do??"
Early on in my journey, I doubted that I could pass her SMV, but I think I've done it. By about a point. WAY more IOI's when I'm out, in the best shape of my life. To be honest, if I push hard over the next couple years, I could maybe pull another point (or half a point) but I'm kinda maxed now. So trying hard to be attractive not be unattractive.
I have to fight my blue pill instinct and "talk" to her again about it. 'Cause we all know that isn't going to work. I guess some of us might have a particular sex act that we want, and it might be a hard no from our S/0, so I guess you just suck it up, and deal with the fact that it's off the menu?
Not sure I'm willing to do that. Regardless of everything else that she does, I just can't let this go, and frankly I don't want to let it go. I guess I have to make the decision whether or not to spin plates, or some other drastic measure. I highly doubt that after 20+ years that she's going to find some appeal to it.