Without loading a bunch of puke into your day, last night I realized how important the phrase, “the stay plan is the same as the go plan” is.
This process has no mantras. No 12 steps (though OYS seems a little that way) to drive you through it. I realized I am the steps.
The reactions of your spouse don’t change the plan. Neither do their emotions or their attempts to manipulate. You own the steps.
Your obligation is to grow and learn how to assert your needs as the best choice for you and your spouse and your family. If those choices are challenged by factors or action of others- then your stay plan is not the same as your go plan and you don’t own your process because as evidenced by how easily it is derailed.
I did not get what I wanted by way of reaction or physical intimacy last night. So what? Boohoo. Plan remains the same.
So the question I have for y’all is this: MAP in hand, it is time to kill the puppy. Move fast or move slow? Anyone with experience? Fast seems best to get on with my own life. Slow seems best for all the others involved. I’m gonna get divorce drilled in this as I am in the very worst tactical position - SAHM, I make 6 figure, few kids in tow...