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New red pill here in need of guidance from the vets

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October 20, 2018
13 upvotes

I’m brand new to this as my buddy just recently got me to read into “the rational male” after venting to him with my newly raised marital issues. What I’m looking for right now is advice on how to get frame back in my marriage and become the alpha I once was. Long story short, my spouse of nine years now has stated that she no longer feels happy in our marriage. This is all happening while I am deployed of course. I’ve been a career focused soldier for the past nine years and still love my wife and our three children, my issue is that I’ve been so preoccupied on my career that I’ve paid her no attention at all. At least that’s is what she says the issue is, I’m sure you’ve all heard something like this before. With me here in Afghanistan, she has started dressing more revealing and going out with friends more often to drink and what not. Is there any way I can re-establish myself as the alpha and leader, while rebuilding her interest? Open to any and all suggestions from the group


Post Information
Title New red pill here in need of guidance from the vets
Author cybrsldr
Upvotes 13
Comments 14
Date 20 October 2018 05:36 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/203875
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/9prkda/new_red_pill_here_in_need_of_guidance_from_the/
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alphaframethe red pill
Comments

[–]simbarlionRed Beret6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

she has started dressing more revealing and going out with friends more often to drink and what not.

BRO. Actions not words. Massive red flag here. She's on the market and your back in competition. How you want to play?

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

There are no fuckig shortcuts. There is no cheat code or special trick you can do to establish frame. Well that's not entirely true but thats not an option on deployment.

There are lots of guys here from the military and your story is cliche around here.

Whatever she says is the problem is not the problem. You are the problem.

This is all about you.

The hard way is the easy way.

Make a post in next weeks OYS and tell the story of your faggotry.

Read the side bar. Lift. Make a plan, post in oys.

No shortcuts.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It’s damn hard to dread when you’re a longterm tourist in a Muslim country.

What do you think is a good work around since half the levels are (seemingly) out of reach or at least takes a cleverness I don’t have to pull off.

Edit:

To OP. She says you aren’t paying attention to her. That may or may not be true. Analyze it independently first. And know that OYS doesn’t necessarily mean Skyping her more or believing what she thinks is the problem is the actual problem.

Don’t OYS by becoming beta. That’s what her instinctual advice will do to you.

[–]bueller66262 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Clearly state your boundaries. There is little you can do remotely. Physically and mentally prepare yourself for your return home. Best of luck.

[–]RedPillCoach2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

how to get frame back in my marriage and become the alpha I once was.

Lift.

Read.

Make a plan.

Get Busy.

Pursue the plan.

Work through the failures and adjust.

Get some successes.

Restore confidence.

Build Options.

Screw like rabbits.

Happy Life, Happy Wife.

Frame is the "you" at your best. Find that place by self-improvement and then stay there.

[–]470_2_700_nm7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

Left right left right a b a b select start.

[–]redwall920 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

We were raised with a Nintendo controller in our hands. My mom would take away the controller when we were grounded.

It was basically life back then...

[–]wkndatbernardus1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The challenges of a military marriage are unique and difficult but not insurmountable. I'd say the key is to make the most of your time at home so that both your wife and kids can't wait for you to get back. They need to experience a high level of strength, wisdom, and leadership while you're in town so that, when it's gone, they can't easily replace it.

Resist the temptation to kowtow to their whims when you're home lest you become a Gaylord Betabux (hint: his kids don't respect him and his wife doesn't want to bang him). Then, when deployed, check in regularly to oversee the general direction of the family. At most, you'll maintain the gains you made while on the home front. Not an easy task, by any means but, doable.

The most effective strategy will be to quit soldiering so you can be around the family full-time. However, I'm enjoying the economic fruits of our military hegemony right now which means I need guys like you to stick around in dumps like Afghanistan. Gracias por tu cooperacion.

[–]dandar46001 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like she's checked out and is looking for feelz ie she's looking for someone to give her something that you don't. You can't fix that while deployed. Cut your communication with her to bare minimum and only focus on the kids. Let her worry that you found the same thing that she's looking for instead. Depending on how long you are deployed you may find yourself replaced because if she keeps on looking she will eventually find it.

[–]BarracudaRP1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Comments here are already a mixed bag. One thing we all agree on is the sidebar, your TRM reading is a good start, what will you be reading next?

We have a saying here that has helped me: "The Stay Plan Is The Go Plan". If your marriage ended today (the Go plan), how would you live? You might lift a lot more, advance your soldier career, finally do that shit you've been putting off, find a way to flirt with girls over social media. Now take that same plan and apply it your wife (the Stay plan). That's what you can do today, along with lift read and stfu.

Welcome, and let us know how things shake out.

[–]weakandsensitive2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

That's cute. How much are you willing to pay hourly?

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I accept Bitcoin and Amazon gift certificates.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You have to take Zelle in todays world. And paypal.

[–]meivanlee0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Or OP , just find my profile and read my posts.. I won’t charge you a penny.

Real alphas help the pack grow and Kings help other man develop into fellow King’s.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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